Chapter 138 |
To be honest, Han Doyoon felt an overwhelming sense of fatigue when Lee Jaehun handed him the fruit in secret. It felt like he was being handed a bomb.
“It’s a gift.”
Don’t give me that ‘gift’ crap.
“…Yes?”
“Use it as you see fit.”
To be more blunt, he was d⋏mn annoyed.
Han Doyoon had never hated the scars on his body, but he had never been proud of them either. To him, the scars remaining on his body were simply warnings to be wiser and quicker in the future, not medals or murals to be praised, as others might say.
“I don’t understand the intention of this gift, Mr. Lee Jaehun.”
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“It’s not clear at all, and I deliberately changed the subject, but I guess you didn’t catch on.”
He could sacrifice his life to save a citizen if necessary, but he had never sought death.
“So, why are you giving this to me?”
“Well, so you don’t dⁱㅌ?”
“Wow, we’re not communicating here.”
He was smiling, but he wasn’t happy.
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It had always been this way, but lately, this duality felt more pronounced. Even amidst the chaos of being consumed by this world, Han Doyoon, who had entered the park chasing the fire, was in this state.
He had always wanted to live, and thus, he cherished his life. It was because he already knew how miserably everything that constituted him and everything around him would crumble and grieve after his death. He had witnessed firsthand the aftermath of sacrifices made by others.
To him, those who praised sacrifice, those who acted recklessly without regard for their own lives, were truly difficult to understand and infuriating.
‘Many people would be sad if you dⁱㅌd.’
Life wasn’t like a movie that ended when the film stopped.
It wasn’t a fairytale where stepping outside the frame led to a completely different world, or where ‘the prince who saved the princess lived happily ever after’. The world didn’t end just because one person dⁱㅌd.
Therefore, there was always a world after the incident.
“…Ahaha.”
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Han Doyoon hated those who gave up on their lives.
“This is a really… strange gift.”
“…….”
“You know, right?”
He hated people who ran away from those left behind, who sacrificed themselves blinded by the happiness of others.
“…Well, I’ll gratefully accept it anyway.”
Wasn’t that too selfish?
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‘Knowing full well that other people would worry.’
What were you, who couldn’t accept that even though you knew it?
Were you simply vaguely optimistic, thinking, ‘It’ll be alright someday’, or were you deliberately turning a blind eye, knowing full well?
Han Doyoon wanted to understand but not empathize with such people.
‘Giving me this is like disregarding Jeong Inho’s sincerity, isn’t it?’
He wanted to grab Lee Jaehun by the collar and yell at him to just say it outright. To say that he wanted to dⁱㅌ, so he would do anything to make others happy and then dⁱㅌ. Han Doyoon couldn’t shake the feeling that this small fruit given to him was a kind of will.
But what would happen after Lee Jaehun dⁱㅌd? What about the people who lingered around him, the people who firmly believed that he would never dⁱㅌ even when he was practically a corpse?
These people had certainly shown a kinder side compared to others…
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“…….”
But after Lee Jaehun dⁱㅌd, they might all become monsters.
People cornered, people without leeway, could display a miserable amount of vⁱӨlㅌncㅌ.
The mercy and affection most humans showed stemmed from having enough leeway themselves. And for Kwon Yeonhee, Noh Yeonseok, Kang Mina, and so on, that leeway was Lee Jaehun.
‘Even that detective seemed distracted…’
Han Doyoon had a knack for imagining the worst-case scenario, and he had the amazing ability to see it come true every time he wished it wouldn’t. It could be considered a kind of jinx.
“…Take care on your way back, Mr. Lee Jaehun.”
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Nevertheless, he wished for peace to continue as much as possible.
That was why Han Doyoon had called Noh Yeonseok.
***
“…”
“…Cough, hack.”
Ha Sungyoon considered himself to have been raised quite well.
His parents wanted him to grow into a righteous and respectable person, and their affection and education were both kind and gentle. They always gave him choices and prayed that he would do the most good he could with his abilities.
His own wishes weren’t much different from his parents’. Ha Sungyoon became a doctor at a young age with their full support and, feeling that this wasn’t enough, went to volunteer in conflict zones.
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Throughout all of this, Ha Sungyoon’s parents were always on his side.
“Ah… this is pretty good too.”
“Cough, ugh. Urgh…”
“Why are there so many good materials? Or is it because of the ahjussi’s influence…?”
He loved his family.
“Doctor, what do you think sacrifice is?”
Ha Sungyoon just coughed at the murderer’s question. His constricted throat hurt, and he couldn’t breathe properly, scratching at the hand gripping his neck, but he was still alive.
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It was just that what he saw was excessively cruel.
“Ugh, huff…”
He saw Song Inmyeong killing people.
He saw him stab a fleeing person in the neck and lungs, then toss them aside. He saw him grab a crying child by the neck, drag them along, and throw them to a monster. The child probably was already nearly dead from being strangled.
Then, the overlapping illusions vanished in an instant, and he saw only the monster strangling him, and a person sprawled on the ground.
He found it a little funny.
“Why do you sacrifice yourself? How does it feel? How did it feel when you jumped in front of that woman just now?”
“Gah…”
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“How can you voluntarily think of doing that? What’s the principle behind it…?”
The profession of doctor, especially once one reached the position of ‘professor’, came with a considerable amount of authority. Yet, it was a neck he could readily offer to those who had lost loved ones.
“There must be a formula for that, right? For emotions, I mean.”
Ha Sungyoon was raised with an excellent education by good parents, became a doctor with thoughtful support in a perfect environment, and achieved the position of professor through considerable effort. Yet, he didn’t get angry when a guardian who lost a family member grabbed him by the collar and slapped him. He was raised well, but he didn’t feel any pain.
Rather, it hurt more that his patient dⁱㅌd on his operating table.
“Cough, hack, huh.”
“I just stabbed you in the back, doctor. Doesn’t it hurt?”
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For Ha Sungyoon, that was the unbearable pain.
“…Why do you keep looking at that noona?”
“…….”
“It’s really fascinating.”
Within his sight was Kang Mina, trembling with her hand clutching her abdomen.
“Don’t worry, I only stabbed her twice.”
The human body is so fragile that it can dⁱㅌ from just two stab wounds, you foolish friend.
‘…I thought he kept giving me hints…’
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He roughly understood the situation.
Lee Jaehun, of all people, had given him hints while looking at him, and even if he hadn’t, Detective Hong Kyungjoon and Officer Kim Yeonwoo often observed the survivors closely. Ha Sungyoon knew Song Inmyeong was one of Kim Yeonwoo’s suspects.
Moreover, hadn’t he already examined the dead child’s body? He had found it suspicious from the moment he noticed the faint marks on the child’s neck. No—actually, for someone who had suffocated to death, the traces were unusually light. Regardless, he had suspected that someone had used the child as bait.
It was just that the eyes Ha Sungyoon received activated too late.
“Strange, I know the back is a pretty painful area…”
“Gasp, ugh.”
“Excuse me, doctor. You’ve been stabbed in the back four times now. And your neck is being strangled.”
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Yes, it would have been nice if the eyes had shown me before I got stabbed in the back.
‘Is it because of the lack of oxygen?’
His back was burning, but it didn’t hurt that much. Ha Sungyoon wondered if it was because his strangled neck prevented him from breathing properly, but his attention was soon drawn to Kang Mina.
Seeing the knife in Song Inmyeong’s hand as he suddenly lunged, Ha Sungyoon had instinctively shielded her. As a result, a knife entered and exited his back several times, and Kang Mina had screamed and pulled away from him upon seeing it.
It was, in a way, a natural consequence that she, who was much smaller than him, was targeted by Song Inmyeong.
“…….”
But it wasn’t a matter of course.
Though Lee Jaeehun was unparalleled, Kang Mina was also Ha Sungyoon’s patient.
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“Ugh…”
“Doctor?”
They were his patients.
“…….”
“Hello?”
His patients, whom he had to save.
He didn’t want to become a murderer who failed to save a savable patient. He didn’t want to become incompetent, powerless. Even if he couldn’t be a good person or a good doctor, he could at least remain a skilled doctor. That was all he had left.
That was his last stand.
“…….”
He recalled the gray coat and the sight of Jung Inho resting against it. Finally, just as Ha Sungyoon became aware of the strange sensation ⁱnsⁱdㅌ the hem of his pants, he loosened the strength in the hands that had been pushing his opponent away.
“…Ah, ha.”
A woman came into view.
Crying bloody tears, yet gripping a hammer tightly in both hands, raised high. Kang Mina, her eyes bloodshot red like a demon, stared at the culprit.
Ha Sungyoon immediately grabbed Song Inmyeong by the collar, immobilizing his upper body.
Crack.
“―Agh!”
Her hammer came down on the back of Song Inmyeong’s head.
“You, crazy bⁱtch…!”
“Dⁱㅌ, you b⋏st⋏rd.”
Song Inmyeong immediately shook off Ha Sungyoon’s hand and snatched the hammer from Kang Mina, but she didn’t panic at his quick counterattack and immediately ran away.
Song Inmyeong, looking bewildered, laughed and looked back and forth between Kang Mina and Ha Sungyoon.
“What is this, abandoning a colleague…”
“…….”
“…No, wait. Wow.”
The corners of his mouth lifted in amusement.
“She thought I’d chase after her, huh.”
“…Haha…”
“Wow, wow, wow, d⋏mn, this is crazy…”
He covered his face with both hands, lost in ecstasy, and murmured,
“You guys are so awesome.”
Then, holding Kang Mina’s hammer, he chased after her.
“…….”
Well, this is something.
Left alone in an instant, Ha Sungyoon gently stroked his stinging neck and lay down on the ground. He could smell the distinctly metallic scent of blood in his throat.
After lying still for about a minute, he muttered, the words coming out like a sigh.
“I’m the one who’s going crazy.”
It seemed Kang Mina had decided to lure Song Inmyeong away.
He had been strangling Ha Sungyoon, rambling on about his artistic philosophy. If she became the target instead of Ha Sungyoon, he would try to kill her, so she probably deliberately drew his attention and led him away. Especially considering her trembling hand holding the hammer.
That was why Ha Sungyoon felt it keenly once more.
“…This isn’t a place for a doctor…”
He felt like dying.
He wanted to live as a doctor, so why were there so many people trying to stop him?