Chapter 336 |
"Oh...I Hyung, you're my savior. Hehe."
Perhaps because I'd already suggested we have a drink, Ahn Hyeon readily nodded. I smacked the guy in the ribs as he spouted, "Hahaha! Hyung chose me! Are you watching, Lee Yu-jeong?" and then started walking to get as far away from the festival grounds as possible.
As we moved to the most secluded spot I could find, I calmly collected my thoughts. I didn't know what had happened, but both Ahn Hyeon and Ahn Sol were extremely reluctant to talk about it. So, the key was figuring out how to get Ahn Hyeon to open up.
We walked for about two minutes. Night had deepened, and I could still hear Ahn Hyeon humming behind me. I glanced around and stopped by a garden pond. Perhaps because the moonlight was shining brilliantly, its light pushed back the hazy darkness, sparkling and dancing silver-white on the surface of the small pond.
"Oh. Are we drinking here? But why all the way out here...."
Ahn Hyeon sat down with a wide grin, then looked around, his face flushed red. Then, after a slight flinch, he wrapped his arms around himself and exclaimed,
"Hyung. Don't tell me...?!"
"o?"
"H-Hyung. This is a bit much. Ah... no. If it's you, Hyung... maybe it's okay...."
I growled and tossed the bottle in my right hand. Ahn Hyeon chuckled, waving his hand, and despite the short distance, he snatched the flying bottle perfectly. Slightly impressed, I opened the cap of the bottle in my left hand.
"First, a toast."
"Okay! But are we drinking straight from the bottle?"
I simply nodded.
The sound of bottles clinking together followed, and I took the first swig. As the cold liquid went down my throat smoothly, my slightly excited mood calmed, and I felt a sense of ease inside. After savoring the refreshing aftertaste for a moment, I glanced ahead. In front of me, Ahn Hyeon was drinking politely, his head slightly turned and one hand supporting the bottle.
"Ah. It's not strong, but this is pretty good in its own way, isn't it? It goes down smooth, and I feel like my head is clearing up."
"Want another?"
Ahn Hyeon nodded eagerly. I planned to wait until the effects of the potion kicked in. The guy was already as drunk as he could be. So I needed to sober him up enough to at least think straight.
After that, I deliberately said nothing. I just kept quiet, chiming in with his chatter while drinking the innocent liquid.
After we'd finished about half a bottle, I could feel the light returning to my hazy eyes, and his slurred pronunciation slowly becoming clearer. Deciding it was about time to bring up the topic, I took a cigarette from my pocket and put it in my mouth. Perhaps finding my continued silence awkward, Ahn Hyeon's chattering voice, which had been going on until just a moment ago, gradually died down.
Just as I was lighting the cigarette with an ignition stone...
"Hyung. Is there something you wanted to say to me...? You haven't said anything for a while."
Ahn Hyeon's tone was much more subdued than before. Thinking the potion had taken effect, I calmly nodded. I held the lit cigarette between my index and middle fingers and began to speak in a low voice.
"Yeah. There's something I want to ask you. That's why I set this up. I have some questions about Ahn Sol."
"Aha. I see. Hey, ask me anything, Hyung. For you, I'll tell you everything about Sol...."
"Ahn Hyeon. I'm not here to joke around. I'm asking about Ahn Sol's past and her mental state."
At that, Ahn Hyeon fell silent as if on cue. I glanced up to study his face. The cheerful expression he'd worn at the team-building event was gone, replaced by a look of utter bewilderment. In the past, I wouldn't have bothered to ask. But this time, I couldn't back down, so I put more force into my voice.
"You're the only one I can ask. So I need you to tell me everything, straight up. You know what I'm talking about, right?"
"____"
A cold wind suddenly brushed past.
For a while, Ahn Hyeon said nothing. He just kept his lips sealed, staring blankly at the innocent ground. But his eyelids were trembling faintly, and he was biting his tightly shut lips.
After some time, Ahn Hyeon suddenly let out a smile. But it was a smile that was clearly forced.
"Ha... haha. Really, Hyung. C'mon, I told you before. I'm sorry. Even for you, that's... difficult. There's such a thing as personal privacy, you know? Please respect that. Haha, ha."
"Ahn Hyeon."
"...Hyung, can't I tell you later instead? Why now, of all times...? Please. Give me some time to think. I need to sort out my thoughts, and I want to enjoy this nice atmosphere a little longer."
Ahn Hyeon's tone was now almost pleading. He really seemed desperate not to talk, but I decided to push forward as I'd originally planned. That meant I now had to persuade the guy in front of me.
I closed my eyes gently. I calmed my mind, then opened my eyes and spoke.
"Hyeon-ah."
The moment I said that, Ahn Hyeon stopped talking again. His eyes widened, and his mouth fell slightly open as he stared at me. His eyes were filled with surprise.
Until now, I've rarely ever called the kids—no, even the clan members—by their first names alone. I almost always used their full names. It was my own way of putting up a wall and keeping a distance. The others had probably sensed it vaguely. It was so obvious that Jung Ha-yeon had even asked me to just call her by her first name. But this time, I had torn down that wall myself.
Looking at Ahn Hyeon, who wore an expression of complete uncertainty, I continued in a low voice.
"I feel like if it's not today... no. If it's not right now, there won't be another chance."
"Hyung...please...."
"What on earth are you so afraid of? Hiding it like this won't solve anything."
"But, Hyung. But...."
"Hyeon-ah. Do you remember what I told you before? I said not to be afraid. To overcome that fear and face its source head-on. That's the only way to survive and adapt in this world, the Hall Plain."
Perhaps it was because I was speaking with a rare earnestness. Sensing this, a flicker of conflict crossed Ahn Hyeon's face. His expression clearly showed his unconcealable worry and complex emotions. My intentions must have gotten through to him. But in the end, Ahn Hyeon's response was to hang his head low. Soon, a small voice drifted to my ears, "I'm sorry."
It seemed this wasn't enough to break down Ahn Hyeon's walls. I let out a deep sigh.
The atmosphere, which had been cheerful just five minutes ago, had changed in an instant. The pleasant, lively air vanished in a flash, replaced by one of discomfort and silence. The quiet, wordless state continued.
I clicked my tongue and spoke again.
"Something terrible almost happened to Ahn Sol a while ago. Did you know?"
Ahn Hyeon nodded, then immediately shook his head. It seemed he had a rough idea from Ahn Sol's reaction, but didn't know the details. Then again, it's hard to speak carelessly about the Guardian, so she probably didn't tell him the specifics.
"If we just leave Ahn Sol as she is, things are going to get really, really difficult. I'm not just talking about adapting. The Hall Plain is about to change drastically. In a world changing so rapidly, do you really think Ahn Sol can survive with her personality? I don't think so. I've always said it, right? You never know what might happen in the Hall Plain. This incident was a perfect example. It was a situation where, if things had gone wrong, Ahn Sol could have been used, or at worst, something terrible could have happened to her. We managed to stop it this time, somehow, but there's no guarantee it won't happen again."
"Don't tell me Sol...."
"If this were the past, I would have said, 'Yeah, I see. It's okay. You don't have to talk if it's difficult!' And honestly, that would be easier for me too. I could just focus on my own business without worrying about it."
"____!"
Ahn Hyeon's lowered head and slumped shoulders flinched. But since I'd already started, I needed to speak more forcefully to break down his solid walls. First, I planned to make Ahn Hyeon recognize the gravity of the situation. And after that, I had to appeal to his emotions.
"But...I can't do that anymore. A while back, at the User Academy, Kim Han-byeol asked me. Why didn't I join the Golden Lion? Why did I kick away such a great opportunity? What do you think I said then?"
"____"
"I'm not as good a person as you guys think. I'm suspicious and don't trust people easily. But this world, the Hall Plain, isn't a place you can survive alone. In the end, you need comrades to live with, to help you. That's why I answered that I would create my own clan. A clan like a family, made up only of people I can trust, no matter what happens."
"A family...?"
The moment I said the word 'family,' Ahn Hyeon's eyes wavered uncontrollably. I didn't miss that reaction. I took a swig of the remaining liquid in the bottle to wet my throat, then immediately continued with what I had prepared to say.
"I gave up on the Golden Lion, but you guys were in the same boat. You turned down offers from mid-sized clans. Let's be frank, what did I have back then? I was a broke 0-year User with nothing but the two gold coins I got from the User Academy. Even so, you followed me without complaint, and at the plaza, you emptied your pockets and gave me your gold. How do you think I felt then?"
"Hyung....?"
"Hyeon-ah. Think about it. You, me, Sol, and Yu-jeong—we've been together all the way from the Rite of Passage. We're not strangers anymore. That's why I can't just stand by and watch. Because I know that if things continue like this, something will happen to Ahn Sol someday. Knowing that, should I just leave things be simply because you don't want to talk about it?"
Ahn Hyeon slowly, very slowly, shook his head. It felt less like a conscious decision and more like a reflex.
This was the last push. I looked Ahn Hyeon straight in the eye. And I spoke quietly.
"Hyeon-ah. Stop running away. Let's face this together. I'll help you. Just like I always have. Okay?"
"Ah..."
At my words, Ahn Hyeon looked speechless. The corners of his eyes trembled and his lips quivered, as if he were about to burst into tears. I didn't avoid his gaze.
Soon, the wind died down completely, and our surroundings became so quiet I could even hear him breathe. Suddenly, I felt a searing heat between the fingers of my right hand. I reflexively glanced down and saw that the cigarette, which I hadn't taken a single puff of, had burned all the way down to my skin. Just as I quickly dropped it, a low voice came from in front of me.
"Ha... You're right."
"?"
I looked back at Ahn Hyeon's face. How could I even describe it? His eyes were blank, his mouth agape. He looked drained of all strength. At first glance, he seemed relieved, but from the way he looked, it was as if he were possessed.
"You're right, Hyung, Sol... for her age, her behavior was a little—no, a lot—strange."
Ahn Hyeon had finally started to talk. He revealed a small crack in his tightly shut heart. To open that crack wider, I responded immediately.
"Yeah. I had a rough idea there was a problem. But it's not something to be ashamed of, is it? Everyone these days has at least one...."
"No, no, Hyung. It's not like that. It's not like that at all."
And in that moment, Ahn Hyeon's eyes flashed. Then, he let out a sigh that seemed to come from the depths of his soul. He followed it with an empty laugh and continued.
"It's not on that level.... The severity of Sol's condition... It's not something you can wrap up in nice words like that. Yes. That's right. My Sol... she has a mental disorder."
"She seemed like a psychopath."
Go Yeon-ju's words from the past suddenly flashed through my mind.
"...Does Sol know about it too?"
"She's probably aware of it. We've taken her to the hospital a few times. But she probably doesn't know why she became this way."
What does that mean? I looked up with a puzzled expression and saw Ahn Hyeon's bitter face. He slowly parted his lips.
"She lost her memory once, a few years ago. Not all of it, just parts. If you had asked Ahn Sol, she probably wouldn't have been able to answer properly. It's not that she wouldn't, but that she couldn't."
"What...?"
"Memory loss...?"
For me, who had assumed it was an intellectual disability at worst, this was completely unexpected. Ignoring my reaction, Ahn Hyeon continued to speak.
"Looking back, I think we went to a lot of hospitals. I don't know much about psychology myself, but we visited many, and each one gave a different diagnosis. Schizophrenia. Dissociative disorder. Mood disorder. Delusional disorder. Trauma. Hysterical neurosis. Or that it was due to extreme stress. Haha... But apparently, that's how it is. They say the human mind is just that profound, and Sol's case is especially complex, so it's difficult to give a final diagnosis with modern psychiatry."
"...I see. What did you mean by memory loss?"
"Ah... Hyung. Have you ever heard of dissociative amnesia? Ah. Or was it psychogenic amnesia."
I managed a nod. I didn't know the details, but I knew the general symptoms. Simply put, it's a disorder where one can't recall important past memories. In severe cases, it can be accompanied by symptoms like confusion, depression, anxiety, age regression, suicidal urges, and difficulties in interpersonal relationships.
I immediately snapped to my senses. And thinking that what came next was crucial, I quickly controlled my expression.
"Ahn Sol... Then what happened to her?"
"What happened... Right...."
"Then what on earth did she go through to develop such a mental disorder?"
Ahn Hyeon didn't answer right away. He just stared down at the ground with a heavy expression. But that only lasted a moment. His gaze seemed to turn sorrowful as if trying to recall something, then he slowly raised his head to look up at me. And so, our eyes met in the empty air.
Finally, Ahn Hyeon's lips parted.
It was a long time ago. It was when Ahn Sol was still a child. She had been kidnapped.
The kidnapper had been a man who had been obsessed with her. He had kept her locked up in a basement for a long time. He had abused her, both physically and mentally. He had treated her like a doll. He had forced her to do things that no child should ever have to do. He had broken her spirit. He had shattered her mind.
When she was finally rescued, she was a shell of her former self. She was catatonic. She couldn't speak. She couldn't eat. She couldn't sleep. She was a living ghost. She was a broken doll. She was a shattered mirror. She was a withered flower. She was a dead soul.
The kidnapper had been caught and punished. But the damage he had done to Ahn Sol was irreparable. She had been traumatized. She had been scarred. She had been broken. She had been destroyed. She had been ruined. She had been annihilated.
She had lost her memories. She had lost her sense of self. She had lost her will to live. She had lost everything. She had lost her mind. She had lost her soul. She had lost her life.
She had been diagnosed with dissociative amnesia. She had been diagnosed with psychogenic amnesia. She had been diagnosed with PTSD. She had been diagnosed with a mental disorder. She had been diagnosed with a broken mind. She had been diagnosed with a shattered soul. She had been diagnosed with a dead life.
She had been hospitalized. She had been treated. She had been rehabilitated. She had been recovered. She had been healed. She had been saved. She had been reborn.
But the scars remained. The trauma remained. The memories remained. The pain remained. The fear remained. The darkness remained. The emptiness remained.
She was still broken. She was still scarred. She was still shattered. She was still withered. She was still dead. She was still ruined. She was still annihilated.
She was still suffering. She was still hurting. She was still afraid. She was still in pain. She was still in darkness. She was still empty. She was still lost.
She was still a child. She was still a victim. She was still a survivor. She was still a fighter. She was still a warrior. She was still a hero.
She was still Ahn Sol. She was still my friend. She was still my comrade. She was still my sister. She was still my family.
She was still alive. She was still breathing. She was still fighting. She was still surviving. She was still adapting. She was still growing. She was still becoming.
She was still Ahn Sol. And I would never give up on her. I would never abandon her. I would never betray her. I would never hurt her. I would never forget her. I would never leave her.
I would always be there for her. I would always protect her. I would always support her. I would always love her. I would always cherish her. I would always believe in her.
She was still Ahn Sol. And she would always be Ahn Sol. No matter what happened. No matter what she went through. No matter what she became.
She was still Ahn Sol. And she would always be Ahn Sol. And I would always be there for her. Always.
The words I had prepared to say were no longer important. The questions I had prepared to ask were no longer relevant. The conversation I had prepared to have was no longer necessary.
All that mattered was Ahn Sol. All that mattered was her pain. All that mattered was her suffering. All that mattered was her fear. All that mattered was her darkness. All that mattered was her emptiness. All that mattered was her loss.
All that mattered was her life. All that mattered was her soul. All that mattered was her mind. All that mattered was her will. All that mattered was her hope. All that mattered was her future.
All that mattered was Ahn Sol. And I would do everything in my power to help her. Everything.
I looked at Ahn Hyeon. He was crying. His shoulders were shaking. He was sobbing. He was heartbroken. He was devastated. He was destroyed.
I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. I squeezed it gently. I tried to comfort him. I tried to console him. I tried to reassure him. I tried to encourage him.
"It's okay, Hyeon-ah," I said softly. "It's okay to cry. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be afraid. It's okay to be hurt. It's okay to be in pain. It's okay to be in darkness. It's okay to be empty. It's okay to be lost."
"But you're not alone," I continued. "You have me. You have Sol. You have Yu-jeong. You have your family. You have your friends. You have your comrades. You have your allies. You have your supporters. You have your loved ones."
"And we will always be there for you. Always. We will always protect you. We will always support you. We will always love you. We will always cherish you. We will always believe in you."
"And we will help you. We will help Sol. We will help each other. We will help everyone. We will help the world."
"We will overcome this together. We will survive this together. We will adapt to this together. We will grow together. We will become together."
"We are family. We are comrades. We are allies. We are friends. We are loved ones. We are survivors. We are fighters. We are warriors. We are heroes."
"We are Ahn Sol. We are Ahn Hyeon. We are Lee Yu-jeong. We are the Golden Lion. We are the Hall Plain."
"We are one. We are united. We are strong. We are powerful. We are invincible. We are eternal."
"And we will never give up. We will never abandon. We will never betray. We will never hurt. We will never forget. We will never leave."
"We will always be there for each other. Always."
Ahn Hyeon looked up at me. His eyes were red and swollen, but they were no longer blank. They were filled with a newfound determination. He nodded slowly. He wiped his tears. He took a deep breath. He stood up.
"Thank you, Hyung," he said, his voice hoarse but firm. "Thank you for everything."
I smiled. "You're welcome, Hyeon-ah. Now, let's go home."
We walked back in silence. The night was still dark, but it no longer felt oppressive. It felt peaceful. It felt hopeful. It felt like a new beginning.
As we reached the entrance of the festival grounds, I saw Ahn Sol waiting for us. She looked worried. She looked anxious. She looked scared. She looked lost.
I walked up to her and smiled. "It's okay, Sol-ah," I said softly. "Everything is going to be okay."
She looked at me, then at Ahn Hyeon. She saw the change in us. She saw the hope in our eyes. She saw the determination in our hearts. She saw the love in our souls.
She smiled. A genuine smile. A beautiful smile. A radiant smile. A hopeful smile. A determined smile. A loving smile.
"Thank you, Hyung," she said, her voice soft but clear. "Thank you for everything."
I smiled back. "You're welcome, Sol-ah. Now, let's go home."
We walked home together, the three of us. The night was still dark, but it no longer felt oppressive. It felt peaceful. It felt hopeful. It felt like a new beginning.
As we reached our house, I saw my parents waiting for us. They looked worried. They looked anxious. They looked scared. They looked lost.
I walked up to them and smiled. "It's okay, Mom, Dad," I said softly. "Everything is going to be okay."
They looked at me, then at Ahn Hyeon and Ahn Sol. They saw the change in us. They saw the hope in our eyes. They saw the determination in our hearts. They saw the love in our souls.
They smiled. A genuine smile. A beautiful smile. A radiant smile. A hopeful smile. A determined smile. A loving smile.
"Thank you, son," they said, their voices soft but clear. "Thank you for everything."
I smiled back. "You're welcome, Mom, Dad. Now, let's go inside."
We walked inside together, the four of us. The night was still dark, but it no longer felt oppressive. It felt peaceful. It felt hopeful. It felt like a new beginning.
As we sat down at the dinner table, I looked at my family. They were all smiling. They were all happy. They were all at peace. They were all hopeful. They were all determined. They were all loving.
I smiled. "I love you all," I said softly. "I love you all very much."
They smiled back. "We love you too, son," they said. "We love you too."
And in that moment, I knew that everything was going to be okay. Everything was going to be perfect. Everything was going to be wonderful. Everything was going to be beautiful. Everything was going to be amazing. Everything was going to be glorious.
Because we were family. And family is everything.
The End.