Chapter 337

M E M O R I Z E

"It might be obvious, but... my sister, Sol, wasn't born with her disability. She was always pure and very gentle, even as a child, but she was never like this."

So, the story of Ahn Hyeon and Ahn Sol's past was finally beginning. It was something I'd been curious about for a long time, and a surge of curiosity rose within me, but I decided to suppress it for a moment. This wasn't something I could just listen to and be done with. I had to find a clue to solve Ahn Sol's problem based on the story Ahn Hyeon was telling me. I didn't know which part might hold the key, so I needed to listen carefully to every single word, which part might hold the key, and then thought, I needed to listen carefully to every single word.

I calmly straightened my posture, showing him I was ready to listen intently.

"Hyung, My family... we used to have everything we needed. A father with a respectable job, a gentle mother. And then there was me, always getting into trouble, and my little sister Sol, who was a bit timid but still a kind girl. We were, a normal family... the kind you could see anywhere. But, there was just one problem."

That meant there was a high probability that Ahn Sol's mental disability was acquired, caused by some external factor.

I gave a silent nod and listened to what he said next.

"It was one of those days. I came home late at night after playing my heart out, and my father and mother were having a terrible fight. To the point they were screaming things like, 'You son of a bitch!' and 'What, you bitch?!'"

"That's pretty intense. Why were they fighting so badly? Was there always discord between them?"

"No. It was all my father's fault. On the outside, he seemed like a normal father, but it turned out he'd gotten his hands into gambling. My mother found out, and she eventually considered divorce."

Ahn Hyeon closed his eyes, as if recalling that time. Of course, family trouble is something almost everyone experiences at least once. But even considering that, his voice was chillingly calm. It felt as if he were telling someone else's story.

"So they got divorced? And that's what shocked Sol?"

"Hahaha... No. It wasn't that simple. No, if only it had been that simple, how much better would it have been...."

Ahn Hyeon let out a hollow laugh and shook his head before slowly continuing.

"They didn't get a divorce. They went right to the brink of it, but at the last minute, my father admitted his fault and begged for forgiveness. Of course, that was on the condition that he would never gamble again."

"That's a relief."

"It was a relief, up to that point. But hyung, can a leopard change its spots?"

"...He started again?"

"Yes. But, as promised, he didn't touch gambling. Instead, he turned to the stock market."

He must have been a full-blown addict.

I clicked my tongue inwardly. I didn't know much about stocks, but according to an acquaintance, unless you were in the top 1%, it was a game you almost always lost. And I was told to never, ever touch it.

I spoke quietly.

"You should have stopped that, too."

"I'm not sure if my mother knew or not.... I don't know. But what would I have known back then? He just sat in front of the computer, staring at those weird graphs all day long. I just thought, 'Ah, he's working hard.' But..."

Ahn Hyeon let out a heavy sigh, as if finding it absurd even now, and continued.

"Just when I thought things were quieting down a bit, one day I came home to find red foreclosure notices plastered all over the house. That's when I finally understood the situation. I found out later that my father had failed in the stock market and racked up a huge debt. The gambling incident, thankfully, was cut short before it exploded, but with the stocks, we were completely cornered. Do you know? How a normal, ordinary family can be shattered in an instant?"

After that, Ahn Hyeon paused for a moment. He slowly raised his head and looked up at the night sky. His eyes were open again. They held a distant light, as if he were recalling something.

Soon, Ahn Hyeon's gaze fell to meet mine, and his lips slowly parted.

"I still remember it clearly."

"...."

"The day we were thrown out onto the street... My father didn't say a word. He just walked endlessly, leading my mother, me, and Sol. But even then, I couldn't let go of a sliver of hope. Because he was my father. Because this couldn't be the end. Even in the worst-case scenario, we could just start over.... But that man, my father... he crushed even that last shred of hope."

"Why?"

"The place he took us to was the Han River. The Han River. He trudged up onto the bridge and said it. He told us to die. To just jump off together, right there."

The moment I heard that, I let out a deep groan. No matter how I looked at it, that was not the action of a sane father. It was enough to make me wonder if the man himself had a mental disorder.

As if sensing my thoughts, Ahn Hyeon continued with a bitter smile.

"It sounds ridiculous, even to you, right? Hyung? But it's true."

"...So what happened?"

"If we had jumped, I wouldn't be here right now. This time, too, my mother went ballistic. 'Are you crazy? I wondered where you were taking us, and you brought us here just to say this crap? Why are you trying to kill me and your own kids? If you want to die, die alone. We're going to survive, no matter what...'"

At least Ahn Hyeon's mother was a sane person. Then again, if both his father and mother had tried to pull the same stunt, I might never have met the siblings here.

"Anyway, that was the beginning of hell. To be honest, what happened to our family was like something out of a TV drama, wasn't it?"

"A drama..."

"Yes. A drama. That's what I thought back then. But the wall of reality is cold. If it were really a drama, there should have been some dramatic reversal, but far from a reversal, the situation just kept getting worse."

"Was there no one to help?"

"There were. But that only lasts for a little while. As we kept asking for help, all of our relationships fell apart. Hooo..."

Ahn Hyeon's dry voice was gradually becoming moist. He had been relatively calm when talking about his father, but it seemed he couldn't do the same when remembering his mother. Soon, he raised a hand to wipe his eyes. He didn't seem to want to show he was crying, even faking a yawn as he pressed down on the corners of his eyes, but I knew all too well that wasn't it.

My own heart wasn't at ease, making him talk about things he didn't want to. But now that I had started this, there was only one thing I could do for the two of them. No matter how much time it took, I would never give up and would see this through to some kind of end. In truth, this was beyond my abilities, and I wasn't confident, but I planned to do everything I could. For these siblings, and for myself.

"Ah... I'm sorry, hyung. I need to hurry up and tell you about Sol, but I've just been rambling on about my useless family history."

"No. It's not useless at all. Don't ever think that. The night is long, and we still have plenty of time."

Ahn Hyeon let out a long breath and nodded. As he did, the liquid pooled in his eyes gently trickled down. Whether he knew it or not, he opened his mouth, his voice low.

"The debt kept piling up... Our ties with relatives were severed.... At home, we slowly stopped talking to each other.... About two years passed like that, I think? And then, something finally happened."

"Something happened?"

A faint tremor entered Ahn Hyeon's voice. The process up to this point could certainly had an effect, but I suddenly had a feeling that the real story was about to begin.

And the moment I thought that, Ahn Hyeon's next words shocked me quite a bit.

"Yes. My mother committed suicide."

"...."

For a moment, silence hung in the air. I could have imagined it of Ahn Hyeon's father, but I had never expected his mother would be the one to take her own life.

"It was a Wednesday.... I came home from school, and my mother was home, which was strange for a weekday. Then she suddenly suggested we go out together...? Yes! It was great. My sister and I happily followed her, and we had a really fun time for the first time in a long while. We

went to the zoo that Sol likes, and she bought us jajangmyeon.... But... but then..."

Ahn Hyeon couldn't continue. The trembling in his voice grew worse, to the point where I couldn't tell if he was speaking or crying.

After swallowing hard, Ahn Hyeon finally managed to force the words out.

"My mother said she had something to do and told us to go home first. My sister and I were heading back... when Sol suddenly said it. That she felt too anxious. That we should go find Mom."

"What? Why all of a sudden... Ah."

"At first, I wondered what she was talking about, but then I suddenly remembered what my mother had said right before we parted. 'Hyeon, Sol Mom is sorry. But, no matter how hard it gets, no matter what difficult things happen, you two have to live well together...?' The moment I remembered those words, I started running. But..."

But Ahn Hyeon turned his head away, as if he didn't want to say any more. Just from that single word, 'but,' I could guess what happened next, so I just gave a heavy nod.

A brief silence passed, and Ahn Hyeon, having finally calmed himself, opened his mouth.

"You know what's really funny? Do you know how she killed herself? She jumped into the Han River. At the exact same spot where my father told us to die two years ago."

"...."

"It was a shock too great to bear. For my father, for me, and for Sol. I can't tell you how much I resented her. And maybe... maybe Sol's mental disability started from that point on."

"Hmm?"

I raised my eyes slightly, and Ahn Hyeon answered with a grim expression.

"After my mother's funeral, she suddenly started talking to herself. She'd have conversations in an empty room where no one was... or she'd just be quietly muttering to herself.... After my mother's suicide, our home completely changed. Until then, we had been a family that was barely holding on, but that completely shattered us. I think she couldn't bear the sense of loss."

"Ha. Then what the hell did that father of yours do?"

I tried to listen from an objective standpoint, but even I could feel the faint anger in my tone. It seemed Ahn Hyeon felt the same, as he scowled deeply and spoke.

"I don't know either. But one thing is certain: from then on, it was a complete disaster. It became a daily routine for him to come home dead drunk. All he did was lament his own life and curse my mother, and on top of that, he'd frequently resort to his fists and verbal abuse..."

"What? Fists and verbal abuse?"

"Yes. I told you. He changed. It was something I found out after my father also committed suicide, but he had a mental illness, too. He had severe schizophrenia..."

"Suicide?"

With each new revelation of Ahn Hyeon's turbulent life, I was now past the point of being dumbfounded and was simply feeling empty.

What kind of life have these two lived...?

Ahn Hyeon looked at me with bitter eyes and tapped the now-empty bottle.

"I got hit quite a bit too, but he hit my sister particularly hard. Do you know why? Because Sol looked a lot like our mother."

"My god... What kind of... I tried not to curse him since he's your father, but he was a complete madman. So you just stood by and watched your sister get beaten? No, couldn't you have at least reported him?"

"I could have. But back then... I had just given up, too. No, I hated just being in that house. I started going completely off the rails at school, too... I started hanging out with delinquents. It was just... that's how it was back then. I wanted to be like that. I didn't want to care about home at all. So when Sol cried that she was being bullied at school, that she was having a hard time, I deliberately ignored her. Back then, everything was just a pain."

Ahn Hyeon spoke in a tone filled with regret. I was at a loss for words for a while.

Nothing more needed to be said. Just as Ahn Hyeon had described it, it was a complete and utter disaster. I took another cigarette from my pocket and quietly asked again,

"You said your father committed suicide, too?"

"... Yes."

"Did he jump in, just like her?"

"No. Maybe he couldn't take it anymore himself. He was found dead on the street."

Couldn't take it himself?

What was it that he couldn't take? Ahn Hyeon shook his head from side to side. He then made an expression of deep conflict, as if debating whether to say this or not, before finally lowering

his eyes to the ground. Then, in a quiet voice, he began to speak.

"That day, the house was particularly quiet."

"....?

Hearing Ahn Hyeon's sudden, out-of-place remark after everything else, I suddenly felt a sense of unease. He wet his parched lips and immediately continued.

"Hyung, have you ever had a day like that? A day you suddenly feel like studying, or your mind suddenly becomes clear."

"Ah. I know what you mean."

"Yes. That. I was like that on that day. There were times I didn't go home for over two weeks, but on that particular day, I had a strange feeling."

"So you went home?"

"Yes. I went home... and it was too quiet. Unnaturally so. And as soon as I opened the door and went inside, I saw my sister collapsed in her room. Her school uniform was badly torn, and her face and body were a bloody mess, beaten beyond recognition."

The moment I heard that, I felt my breath catch in my throat. Don't tell me...?

"Don't tell me Ahn Sol...?"

"Hyung. Don't make that face. What you're thinking didn't happen. Her clothes were torn because she resisted, and the blood was from being beaten so much."

Sensing my fury, Ahn Hyeon quickly added an explanation. I asked urgently.

"So what happened?"

"First, I called 911. In my heart, I wanted to kill my father right then and there, but I thought saving Sol was the priority."

"And so."

"And... thankfully, she survived. But my sister's mental disability fully revealed itself then."

"Revealed itself?"

At my question, Ahn Hyeon nodded once and said.

"Yes."

Then, he continued in a weak voice.

"When Sol regained consciousness a few days later, she couldn't recognize me."