Chapter 195: This person is just cheating |
Chapter 195: This person is just cheating
Xu Qing suddenly realized that Jiang He seemed to be showing signs of learning how to act cute.
An innate talent?
Unbelievable.
She was already so good at fighting—if she also mastered acting cute…
Looking at the completely blank workbook on the coffee table, Xu Qing felt utterly defeated.
Meanwhile, Jiang He had already gone to the fridge, grabbed a can of cola, popped it open with a pssh, stuck in a straw, and was now sipping away while sitting at the computer, studying Hearthstone.
The fun part about Hearthstone was that, unlike DNF, it didn’t require constant operation. You could just sit back comfortably, lean into your chair, cross your legs, sip cola, and wait for your opponent to make a move. Jiang He had learned this after watching Xu Qing play a few matches.
"Why is he so ugly?"
"That’s because you haven’t seen a Warlock yet."
"Want me to hold you while you play?" Jiang He patted her lap, clearly suggesting she wanted to repeat what had happened earlier—when Xu Qing had held her while playing.
"Any normal girl wouldn’t make such a suggestion. Instead, she’d whimper ‘Ying ying ying~ Hold meee~’"
"Ying ying ying?"
"One punch per ying ying creature."
Xu Qing said something incomprehensible, then picked up his laptop and moved to the couch to watch his favorite movie.
He spent more time hugging his laptop than hugging Jiang He.
No matter what position he played in, the laptop always cooperated.
The laptop never asked questions. The laptop never cracked its knuckles threateningly. The laptop was always there waiting for him. The laptop was wonderful.
His last self-made MV had made it to the homepage for a whole day, gaining tons of traction. That success had given him a taste of the limelight, making him eager to create another one—but he had no inspiration.
The previous one had gone viral because of its complete storyline, which, while contradicting the song’s lyrics, still aligned with them in a strangely poetic way. From another perspective, the story of two people became the story of one, creating a powerful contrast.
Winter Melon flicked its tail, crouched low, and suddenly leaped onto the laptop keyboard with its round, chubby body. Before it could even settle down, Xu Qing had already grabbed it by the scruff of its neck and lifted it up.
Grabbing fate by the throat.
For cats, the scruff of the neck was like an off switch—once you held it, they became immobilized, just like those powerful bosses in martial arts movies who always had one fatal weakness.
Man and cat locked eyes.
Winter Melon’s chubby face was unreadable, but from its eyes alone, it was clear that it was extremely displeased with being held like this.
"Jiang He…"
"Huh?" Jiang He, still focused on Hearthstone, turned her head in confusion.
"Wasn’t talking to you."
"?"
"I just suddenly realized… you two are really alike." Xu Qing lifted Winter Melon, turned toward Jiang He, and casually let go. "You and this cat, exactly the same."
"Winter Melon is really smart."
Jiang He caught the cat and placed it on her lap.
Xu Qing neither agreed nor disagreed.
When Winter Melon first arrived, it was a skittish little thing, always puffing up in fear, hiding in corners, or squeezing under the bed. Only food could lure it out, and after eating, it would immediately scurry away again.
But once it started feeling safe, it gradually grew fatter, let its guard down, and became clingier, wandering around the house all the time.
Jiang He was just like a cat.
Xu Qing cast a worried glance at Jiang He, who was happily petting Winter Melon. If he couldn’t beat her in a fight, and now she was learning how to act cute and play coy, what if she also turned into a chubby little freeloader? Then his life would be truly doomed.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
Jiang He raised an eyebrow, still exuding that confident, heroic aura.
"It’s nothing. Just thinking… I have a girlfriend who’s with me every day, yet I can’t even enjoy the air conditioning with her… You already understand everything you need to at this point. Just sleeping together won’t magically make a baby, so why can’t you be a little considerate of me? Do you know how hot summer is? The fan at night just blows hot air…"
"Then let’s switch back," Jiang He hesitated.
"Forget it. Pretend I never said anything."
"…"
Jiang He clenched her teeth in frustration. "You just want to move back into my room!"
"I swear, I’m just hot."
"Playing the pity card!"
"No! I’d never use such a stupid trick to torture myself…"
"Then I’ll move into your room. That way, we can both use the fan."
"Great idea!"
"…"
"…"
Xu Qing let out a laugh. "Just kidding. Girls are most afraid of the heat—you don’t need to move."
"How do you know all girls are afraid of heat?"
"Ahem… I just do. But I can’t explain how I know—that’s called the curse of knowledge."
"Thanos isn’t real. He’s just in the movies."
"I…" Xu Qing opened his mouth, but the words got stuck in his throat.
How the hell do you even know about Thanos?
What kind of weird trickery is this?!
"I looked him up after you mentioned him that day. Now I know he fought Iron Man, and in the end, Iron Man died…"
"You seriously go and look up everything I mention?" Xu Qing scratched his face, unsure how to respond.
"Of course. If I don’t understand something, I look it up."
"Hmm… That explains why you know about Jin Ping Mei too. And I bet there are a ton of other things you’ve secretly looked up without telling me."
Jiang He was still Jiang He—she knew everything but kept it to herself, just watching him put on a show.
Clever as a fox.
Sneaky as hell.
"The curse of knowledge is real, actually. Simply put, everyone can only think within the limits of their own understanding, which is shaped by everything they’ve experienced from birth until now. People can’t comprehend things beyond their own knowledge. If you get it, you get it; if you don’t, no amount of explanation will help."
Xu Qing rubbed his nose. "So I wasn’t lying to you."
"You wouldn’t be able to lie to me even if you tried," Jiang He snorted. "I just let you think you’ve tricked me."
"You’ve learned how to act all mysterious now?"
"…" Jiang He pursed her lips and didn’t say anything.
Honestly, the heat was getting unbearable. July was approaching, the sun was blazing every day, and it hadn’t rained in a while. The heat kept building up. Xu Qing had even dug out his family’s old bamboo mat, but every morning he woke up covered in imprints.
"If it’s really that hot, we could move that extra bed into the room," Jiang He suggested after a while, pointing at the storeroom. "I’ll sleep on that, and you can have the big bed back."
"How is that any different from just switching rooms back?"
"You never agreed to switch rooms."
Two beds in one room was still better than sharing the same bed. Otherwise, who knew when Xu Qing might pull some sneaky trick and end up making a baby.
"Hmm… Alright then." Xu Qing thought for a moment and agreed.
The heat was unbearable, and even the bamboo mat wasn’t helping much. He couldn’t just hog the AC and leave Jiang He sweating in the storeroom, nor could he suffer while she enjoyed the cool air. This was the best solution.
"Once I finish this match, I’ll help you move the bed in," Jiang He said, returning to her game.
A Priest mirror match—usually an annoying slog. But Xu Qing’s deck was Weasel Priest, and the constant hee-hee-hee sounds of 1/1 Weasels made it extra annoying. Jiang He hadn’t fully grasped the deck’s strategy yet and was struggling.
"The key to winning with this deck is reshuffling—shuffling tons of Weasels into your opponent’s deck so they keep drawing them, and eventually, you win," Xu Qing explained while sitting next to her, absently running his hand along her legs.
Long, slender legs—he’d never get tired of them.
"Why shuffle into their deck?" Jiang He asked. In Hearthstone, each player only had a 30-card deck, and from her experience with Mill Rogue, she assumed having a bigger deck was an advantage.
"By diluting their deck with 1/1 Weasels, every time they draw a card, it’s a Weasel. Next turn, another Weasel. The turn after that, still a Weasel… Eventually, they just rage-quit." Xu Qing grinned.
"That sounds so slow."
"You’re thinking about winning this match. But this deck isn’t just about winning in the game—it’s about winning outside of it, too. Basically… it’s a psychological attack. You’re making them lose their mind through the screen."
Then, just for fun, he clicked the emote: 「The Light shall burn you!」
Against scumbag Priests, you had to be even scummier.
“Then what’s the difference from just switching back to our original rooms?”
“You’re the one who kept refusing to switch back.”
Sleeping in the same room but on separate beds was still better than sharing a bed. Otherwise, who knew when Xu Qing might trick her into having a kid.
“Hmm… alright then.” Xu Qing thought for a moment and agreed.
It was just too hot. Even the cooling mat passed down through generations was useless. He couldn’t just enjoy the air conditioning while Jiang He sweated it out in the storeroom, nor could he let her have the AC while he suffered. This was the best compromise.
“I’ll help you move your bed in after I finish this match.” Jiang He said, then continued playing her game.
A mirror match between two Priests was usually a pain, but Xu Qing’s deck was a Weasel Priest. The 1/1 weasels kept chuckling obnoxiously, and Jiang He hadn’t quite grasped the core strategy of the deck yet, leaving her at a disadvantage.
“The key to this deck is shuffling—keep stuffing his deck with weasels so that the more he draws, the worse it gets for him. Then you win.” Xu Qing sat down beside her, hugging her legs while explaining.
Her long, straight legs—he could play with them for a whole year without getting bored.
“Why shuffle them into his deck?” Jiang He asked. Each deck only had thirty cards, and in the last match, she had mistakenly thought having more cards was better because she had played against a mill rogue.
“You’re diluting his deck with 1/1 weasels. He can only draw one card per turn. If he draws a weasel now, he’ll draw another next turn, and then another the turn after that… until he gets so frustrated he just quits.” Xu Qing grinned.
“That sounds like such a slow win.”
Jiang He had good card draws—her key cards were already in hand. Xu Qing, seeing this, let go of her legs and helped her with the mouse.
“This is a troll deck. Other decks win the match; this one wins both in-game and psychologically. In simple terms… it’s about getting inside the opponent’s head. Winning through sheer frustration.”
He even clicked the emote: "The Light shall burn you!"
Without the “Wow!” voice line, Priest’s fun factor had dropped by at least 80%. Xu Qing had been bitter about it for a long time.
Against a dirty Priest, you had to be even dirtier.
“So… this game isn’t just about winning?” Jiang He suddenly understood the appeal.
Unlike Dungeon & Fighter, where entering the arena meant fighting for victory, this game had different ways to play.
“Everyone has their own way of playing. If you just want to win, build a Secret Mage deck… though I’m not sure if that’s outdated now. Generally, the more expensive a deck, the flashier it is, but the weaker it becomes. My deck, for example, is absurdly expensive.”
Ten minutes later, the opposing Priest cursed and rage-quit.
Jiang He stared as the opponent’s deck bloated to over forty cards. Feeling like she had figured it out, she eagerly wanted to start another match.
“Move the bed.” Xu Qing reminded her.
“Ah…”
She had gotten so caught up in the game that she forgot the important task.
They went to the master bedroom together, planning to rearrange the large bed. Jiang He hesitated as she looked at it.
If they added another bed, the room would be incredibly cramped. And at this point… was there really any difference between two beds and one?
“How about… you…”
“Hmm?”
“Put the sword in the middle. We each take half.” Jiang He estimated the bed’s size.
“Sounds great!” Xu Qing was thrilled.
“We’ll be in pajamas anyway, right?”
“Exactly!”
“And you’re no match for me. If you try anything, I’ll kick you off.”
“Yep, totally!”
“So…”
“It’s settled then!”
Seeing Jiang He still hesitating, Xu Qing simply pushed her back onto her gaming chair.
Honestly, a boyfriend and girlfriend sleeping in the same bed was the most natural thing in the world.
Leaving Jiang He in the living room to continue playing, Xu Qing excitedly went to shower. Before that, he tossed a three-foot-long sword onto the bed, then stepped back to adjust its position—making sure Jiang He had two-thirds of the bed while he took just one-third. That was enough for him.
“When are you going to sleep?”
“I’ll play for a bit longer.” Jiang He said calmly, not even turning her head.
“Oh, then I’ll… watch some videos.”
Seeing that she wasn’t planning to sleep early, Xu Qing suppressed his excitement, picked up his laptop, and started watching shows.
This was happening way too smoothly. He had expected to sleep on the floor for a while first.
If she were a modern girlfriend, they would’ve rolled in the sheets countless times by now… Jiang He was way too reserved.
Good thing she didn’t insist on waiting until the wedding night, or he’d have to install an air conditioner in the storeroom.
Lost in thought, he looked up to find it was already 11 PM. Jiang He was still playing Priest matches, losing every single one but enjoying herself nonetheless.
“Time for bed?”
“Huh? Oh.” Jiang He’s eyebrow twitched slightly. She calmly picked up her pajamas and went to shower.
She had been so engrossed in the game that she hadn’t even showered yet.
But this shower… took forever. So long that Xu Qing almost thought she had passed out in there.
The master bedroom was refreshingly cool with the AC, worlds apart from the stifling storeroom.
Jiang He finally walked in, shuffling her feet in her slippers. Seeing Xu Qing still sitting on the couch, she asked, “Why aren’t you asleep yet?”
“Uh… waiting for you.”
“We’re not doing anything! Why are you waiting for me?” Jiang He’s eyebrows shot up.
This guy always pushed his luck. She had originally planned to sneak in after Xu Qing had fallen asleep.
“Not doing anything. Just sleeping.”
Xu Qing shrugged, trying not to look at her.
What was there to be nervous about? It’s just sleeping!
Convincing himself, he turned off the fan and climbed into bed, hugging his blanket, waiting for Jiang He.
Jiang He dawdled around the living room, grabbed two cans of cola from the fridge, stuck a straw in one, and took the other to Xu Qing.
“Drinking cola at night is bad for your teeth.”
“I brush my teeth every day.”
“That has nothing to do with it…” Xu Qing popped open the can and obediently sat at the bed’s edge. The sword was right behind him.
The reason for placing it in the middle was clear—it was a warning. If anything happened at night, Jiang He could grab it instantly…
Sure, she could also just kick him off the bed, but the sword had a stronger intimidation factor.
“Why isn’t it in the middle?” Jiang He noticed the sword was pushed far to one side.
“I sleep very still. I don’t need much space. It’s just for the cool air… it’s impossible to sleep in that heat.” Xu Qing said.
Jiang He nodded. “This also saves electricity. Two people sharing the AC isn’t wasteful.”
“Exactly. It’s midnight—are you just going to stand there?”
“…”
Jiang He stiffly moved toward the bed. She had already started regretting this.
How could she be so impulsive? Sleeping in the same bed so casually—what would Second Boss think? What would the people in the gang think? What would Xu Qing think? What would his mother—wait, no—what would his parents think?!
“We’re not even married yet…” Jiang He suddenly grabbed her blanket and declared, “I’m not hot! I’ll sleep in your old room instead!”
“Eh…?”
Xu Qing was dumbfounded. Before he could react, Jiang He had already bolted out with her blanket. He hesitated, looking at the sword on the bed.
Had he just… been played?
Tricked into switching rooms again?
With a dark expression, Xu Qing walked to the storeroom. Jiang He was already making her bed, flustered when she saw him enter.
“I won’t use the AC. You go back.” Xu Qing flopped onto the bed, ignoring whether it was her blanket. He wasn’t moving.
Winning over his Kaiyuan wife wasn’t easy—he had to keep trying.
“I really don’t mind the heat.” Jiang He said.
“Then sleep here with me?”
“…”
“You can only sleep over there. No negotiations.” Xu Qing rolled himself up in the blanket, refusing to budge.
Jiang He hesitated.
“Didn’t you say it was about saving electricity? Didn’t you say it wasn’t wasteful? We cuddle all the time, and now—what are you doing?!”
Xu Qing, wrapped in the blanket, was suddenly lifted and carried. Jiang He switched off the storeroom’s lights, shut the door, walked to the master bedroom, and dumped him onto the bed.
“SLEEP.”
She angrily shut off the lights and curled up in the corner.
“Give me back my blanket.”
“…Here.”
“Touch me and I’ll kick you off!”