Chapter 338 |
"She didn't recognize you... So, she lost all her memories?"
"No. Like I said at the beginning, it wasn't complete amnesia, but partial."
Ahn Hyeon shook his head, his face grief-stricken. I clasped my hands and sank into thought.
If there was one thing I regretted, it was hearing the story from Ahn Hyeon's perspective. He told it from his own point of view, so the details of what Ahn Sol went through were rather vague. Then again, he was barely home back then, so it wasn't like he had much to say.
After organizing my thoughts, I slowly began to speak.
"So you're saying there are things she remembers and things she doesn't."
"Yes. According to the doctor... she likely forgot most of her painful memories. There were several possibilities, but the most likely one was that it was a kind of self-defense mechanism, an instinct not to remember anymore..."
""
"The moment I heard that, my mind went blank. Forgetting me meant that deep down, my sister must have resented the very existence of her older brother."
A ruined family and the resulting discord. Her mother's suicide. Years of domestic violence and abuse. Bullying at school. And finally, her father's suicide.
On top of that, her father had apparently suffered from severe schizophrenia.
Considering both her circumstances and her genetics, it would have been impossible for her not to develop a mental disorder. In a world where she had no one on her side, it was a wonder she hadn't attempted suicide.
No, maybe she did.
Ahn Hyeon might not know, or maybe he just didn't mention it.
I tapped my cigarette a couple of times and spoke quietly.
"So what happened to Ahn Sol after that?"
"...She was incredibly confused and anxious. She was extremely reluctant to meet people, suffered from severe depression, and would often clutch her head and burst into tears. To make matters worse, as her symptoms worsened, she even started showing signs of age regression."
"And that's continued until now?"
"The hospital said... it was caused by a combination of extreme trauma and stress. They said many cases recover suddenly, so we should wait and see... but as time passed, I didn't see any signs of recovery."
Ahn Hyeon let out a deep sigh. His gaze was fixed on the cigarette between my fingers. He looked like he wanted a smoke, so I gave him a slight signal, but he just shook his head.
I put my hand back where it was and clicked my tongue. Ahn Hyeon placed his hands on the ground, leaned back slightly, and began to speak.
"Somehow, I managed to bring her home... At first, I tried to find a way to help, you know? The pressure I felt when I realized it was really just the two of us left was no joke. So I was determined to protect Sol, no matter what... I showed her photos, took her to the hospital regularly, and often took her to places we used to play together."
"You should have done that from the start."
"Haha... Regret always comes too late, doesn't it? Anyway, I think I was with her almost constantly, except when I was working. Then one day, a thought occurred to me."
"...?"
Ahn Hyeon paused for a moment. Then he suddenly looked me straight in the eye and spoke in a clear voice.
"That maybe... it wouldn't be so bad for her to live on without her memories."
"-Hmm."
"It makes sense, right? It suddenly occurred to me that if I could just comfort her and guide her well... she might be able to have a fresh start."
"I don't know about that..."
Personally, I didn't agree with that opinion. But I didn't bother to voice my inner thoughts. If this was Ahn Hyeon's original idea, he probably wouldn't have told me any of this. And since I hadn't experienced his situation, I had no intention of judging him.
Ahn Hyeon continued.
"But, hyung. It seems like some people are just destined for misfortune. Just when I'd made up my mind to start fresh, I opened my eyes and found myself in the Hall Plain with my sister. You know how I feel, right, hyung?"
"...I do."
"You of all people were summoned on the day you were discharged from the military. Then again, I guess there's no one here who doesn't feel wronged in some way... Well, anyway, that's pretty much the story. Haha."
Ahn Hyeon concluded his story with words that were impossible to distinguish from laughing or crying.
It was a quiet night, bathed in the clear moonlight. The surroundings were silent. As if by an unspoken agreement, Ahn Hyeon and I both fell silent.
After a rather long pause, I decided to speak first.
"Hyeon. I'm just the listener here, so I can't dare to imagine the pain you've felt throughout your life. Because it's something I haven't experienced myself."
"-Yes."
"Maybe that's why, but... I can't help but think that if you had told me a little sooner... We could have found a way to help earlier."
"That's..."
Ahn Hyeon hesitated for a moment. But, as if deciding to go all in, he finally answered in a small voice.
"I was afraid... of being abandoned."
"Hm?"
I raised an eyebrow, asking what he meant, and Ahn Hyeon continued, his voice a little louder this time.
"Honestly, you know how it is. Even in the modern world, the reality is that people look at you with prejudice if you have a mental disability... And that's what actually happened when we first entered the Rite of Passage. Do you remember back then...?"
"Ah. Back then..."
He was right. I shut my mouth. At that time, Ahn Sol's anxiety was incomparably worse than it was now, and Park Dong-geol and Lee Shin-woo had said we should just leave her behind. It seemed Ahn Hyeon had overheard them.
Wait. Does that mean her symptoms have improved a little now?
Countless questions popped into my head, but mulling over them now wouldn't yield any answers. This was a problem I had already decided to solve over time.
I cleared my head for a moment and slowly got to my feet. I walked over to Ahn Hyeon, who was still sitting on the ground, placed a hand on his shoulder, and spoke.
"Alright, I understand. I'm sorry for making you talk about painful things."
"Hyung..."
"And thank you for trusting me and telling me."
"It's nothing. Now that I've said it, I actually feel relieved. Like you said, I should have told you sooner. It's you, after all..."
Ahn Hyeon replied with a clumsy smile. Looking at him, I abruptly held out my hand. Ahn Hyeon stared blankly at my hand for a moment before letting out a faint laugh and taking it.
Just as I was about to pull him up, Lee Yu-jeong's voice echoed from a distance.
"Oppa! Ahn Hyeon! Where are you two? What are you doing over there!"
Ahn Hyeon and I turned our heads at the same time, then our eyes met again. I let out a soft breath and pulled Ahn Hyeon to his feet as I spoke.
"...The mood has gotten a bit heavy, but shall we go?"
"Yeah, hyung. The festival isn't over yet. Ugh-cha."
Finally on his feet, Ahn Hyeon dusted off his hands and stretched vigorously. Then he bowed his head respectfully and spoke.
"Hyung-nim. From now on, please take good care of Sol. I'll do my best to help, too. Just tell me what to do."
"Of course, I can't make any guarantees... but I'll promise you this one thing."
I could answer confidently because I had already made up my mind.
"I'll do my best, to the best of my ability."
With that, I headed back toward where the clan members were gathered.
This time, it was me who took Ahn Hyeon's arm.
***
The team-building event suggested by Jung Ha-yeon was a great success. Personally, I thought the gathering was excellent. Even though only a few days had passed since the festival ended, I could feel a distinct change in the clan's atmosphere.
Until recently, there were quite a few members who were still awkward with each other, but this was an opportunity to bring all the stragglers into the fold. Of course, the chronic cold war between the kids and Kim Han-byeol showed no signs of thawing.
After the event ended, I took a few days to think and then summoned Ahn Sol.
And now, Ahn Sol was right in front of me. It seemed she'd been waiting for my call ever since I got angry with her, as she came running the moment I summoned her.
Watching Ahn Sol, who kept her head bowed and fidgeted with her hands, I fell into quiet thought.
To be honest, I wasn't confident. My greatest weapons right now were my knowledge of the future and my military power.
If this were something I could solve with force, I wouldn't be agonizing over it like this. I wasn't an expert in the field of psychology, nor could I rely solely on potions like Baek Seo-yeon. It's easy to break something, but it's hard to mend a mind once it's broken.
But I can't just sit here and do nothing...
Even if I couldn't find a method right away, I would keep trying until I saw results. That was my current mindset. As the saying goes, 'Knock, and it shall be opened.'
I decided to stop thinking and start talking.
"Sol-ah."
"Y-Yes?"
Startled that I had called her name, Ahn Sol shot her head up as she answered.
"I've been thinking... and I think you, Sol, are currently the clan member least suited for Mercenary."
"-!"
The moment I finished, an exclamation point flashed above Ahn Sol's head. Then her eyes immediately welled up with tears, so I could guess how she took it.
"O-Oppa..."
"Look at this. There you go again. I'm not even finished talking, so why are you already about to cry?"
"I'm sorry..."
"You should be. Yu-jeong probably would have asked about her own shortcomings instead of crying. And she would have said she'd fix them. You know that I've scolded Yu-jeong a lot too, right?"
Ahn Sol swallowed hard, as if holding back a sob, and managed a small nod. Seeing this, I continued right away.
"Of course, I acknowledge that you have an ability different from others. But listen. That ability only becomes valuable when you know how to use it and protect it yourself. If you can't do that, it's an ability that's perfect for being exploited. Am I wrong?"
Shake, shake.
Ahn Sol bit her lip and shook her head. The pitiful look she kept sending me was bothering, but I had already steeled my heart.
So, I spoke bluntly.
"Right now, you are the slowest to develop and the furthest behind among all the clan members. I'm not talking about your ability. I'm talking about everything related to the Hall Plain. Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"Yes. Y-Yes... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I was wrong... I won't do it again... Please forgive me..."
This was the first time I had pushed Ahn Sol so hard. She, too, was used to being coddled, and she looked quite shocked, as if she couldn't adjust to this side of me.
Watching her continue to beg for forgiveness, I spoke in a slightly softer tone.
"Hoo. You. You know the attendant position is currently open, right?"
At a recent meeting, I had officially announced that I was relieving Lee Yu-jeong of her attendant duties. It wasn't because she was incompetent. Perhaps thanks to the 'Headband of Innocence', Lee Yu-jeong had shown a wonderfully stable attitude.
We had already discussed it at length before the meeting, and with a few added explanations, I
was able to get her consent. Though she herself seemed quite disappointed about it.
After confirming Ahn Sol's urgent nod, I continued.
"I'm thinking of appointing you as the successor."
"M-Me? As the... attendant?"
"Yes. But don't misunderstand. You need to learn more and know more about the Hall Plain. You don't have the right to refuse. You'd better come prepared."
"Th-Then..."
Ahn Sol's expression, which had looked on the verge of tears, began to change subtly. She choked back a few sobs and blinked several times.
"You're not abandoning me? You're not kicking me out...?"
Just as Ahn Sol's cautious voice trailed off...
Clatter, clatter! Thump!
"Mercenary Lord!"
Someone with long, straight hair flying behind them threw open the office door. I was in the middle of an important conversation, so I was annoyed by the sudden interruption, but I felt a sense of bewilderment when I saw who had entered.
The user who had burst into the office was none other than Im Han-na.
I was well aware of Im Han-na's usual neat character and graceful demeanor, which made this all the more strange. But before I could say anything, she spoke first.
"Breaking news. I just went out to the main street and heard the news."
"User Han-na. Calm down and speak slowly. What news did you hear?"
Following my words, Im Han-na placed a hand on her chest and took a moment to catch her breath. About five seconds passed. Then, looking slightly calmer, she slowly parted her lips.
"Halo... I've confirmed the fall of Halo."
"Hmm... I heard communications were cut... In any case, yes."
This was something I had already expected, so I answered calmly.
However, Im Han-na wasn't finished.
"And they say a request for support has come in from the Golden Lion. That's not all, either. There are also rumors that the Western Continent users have begun their march to Barbara..."
The moment Im Han-na finished speaking, I instinctively tapped the table once.