Chapter 336: The Relationship Between Lips and Tongue

Foolish Game of the Gods

Besides the Authority, divinity, and crown, the rewards contained a few more peculiar items.

Cheng Shi spent a while organizing his warehouse, then hung the "Rainforest Tribe Hero Medal" on the wall behind the shelf.

He'd assumed an A-rank item would at least be something practical, but he was wrong. The rating only reflected the material—it was carved from the bones of a royal war bear of the rainforest.

It was nothing more than an ordinary medal with no divine power whatsoever, meant purely to commemorate those who had contributed to the rainforest tribes.

The trial settlement rewards had a hard cap, and the Authority plus the crown had nearly maxed out the allocation. So Hong Lin had to rummage through the treasure vault, eventually picking this thing and tossing it Cheng Shi's way.

Generously put, it commemorated his salvation of the Mushroom-Footed People. Bluntly put, it was filler.

And aside from taking up space in the warehouse, it really was useless.

"Then again... can you eat a royal war bear's bones?" Cheng Shi eyed the medal on the wall and scratched his head. After much deliberation, he abandoned the idea.

'Forget it. Let's eat actual food. Can't wrong Brother Mouth.'

The letter of thanks was even more absurd. It was a leaf—a leaf covered in text written with hair-thin root tendrils. Cheng Shi knew nothing about Mushroom-Footed People culture, so curiosity compelled him to call upon Brother Mouth.

The Fool's Lips pondered for a moment, then began today's recitation:

"To the great Daughter of [Prosperity], Lady Frazor:"

"No words can capture the depth of our gratitude and devotion. As sinners of [Prosperity], the opportunity to return to His embrace once more is the greatest fortune of our entire race."

"To express our gratitude, I wish to share the greatest secret in our tribe's recorded history. Please take note:"

"Wrapping fungal roots three or more times around each other during upright mating effectively prevents lateral falls and improves birth rates."

?????

Cheng Shi keeled over mid-listen.

He stumbled and crashed to the floor. Rubbing the shoulder that had slammed against the ground, he sighed in exasperation:

"Brother Mouth, next time you embellish, could you at least leave the important parts alone? I was waiting for the secret, and you give me this?"

"The secret was made up too."

"Their gratitude was too bland, so I spruced it up for them."

"..."

'Well, aren't you refreshingly honest!'

Cheng Shi paused with a bizarre expression, then pulled the tongue from his spatial storage and held it near his face.

"Brother Mouth, care to repeat that?"

"The secret was made up too."

SLAP—

The Tongue of Eating Lies smacked Cheng Shi across the face.

He perked up immediately, grabbing the tongue with glee:

"You lied! Brother Tongue says you lied! They do have a secret! What is it?"

"Sure, sure, sure."

The words barely left, and the Tongue of Eating Lies delivered another slap.

SLAP—

That wiped the grin off Cheng Shi's face. He suddenly realized that regardless of whether the Tongue of Eating Lies could detect the Fool's Lips' deceptions, it was slapping his face either way.

Why should he take slaps for Brother Mouth's lies?

'What kind of bullying is this!?'

'Are you two playing me?'

His eyes narrowed as he glared at the tongue in his hand. The tongue flipped over lazily and grumbled with boredom:

"How'd you end up hosting an idiot?"

"..."

Cheng Shi blinked in confusion, then it hit him—the "idiot" meant him. He flung the tongue to the ground and was about to fire back when his own mouth beat him to it:

"You're right."

"..."

Cheng Shi's vision went dark. He tried to speak again, but the Fool's Lips were faster:

"Just tell me—are you full or not?"

The Tongue of Eating Lies squirmed twice on the ground, then drawled lazily:

"I could eat just fine over at the girl's place too."

Wait!

Girl?

That Puppet Master!?

She could out-lie him?!

'Impossible!'

But who was she, really!?

Cheng Shi was stunned. He was about to press for answers when the tongue continued: "Though if I stayed with her, I'd probably eat myself to death. At least you have some taste—this idiot's mouth still has a few honest words in it."

"..."

'Great, great, great—you two calling me an idiot back and forth, having a grand time, are you? Fine. If that's how you want to play, don't blame me for getting creative.'

Cheng Shi picked up the tongue with a dark expression, activated the Tongue of Eating Lies' ability on himself, and began a self-interrogation:

"Have I ever deceived anyone? No."

"..."

"..."

The Tongue of Eating Lies jolted and slapped him across the face. Cheng Shi let out a cold laugh, didn't even flinch, and immediately followed up:

"Have I ever deceived anyone? No."

"..."

Bound by its own rules, the tongue slapped him again. But by now, the tongue was starting to sense something wrong.

Sure enough, Cheng Shi didn't hesitate. One sentence after another, he launched into a relentless loop, re-targeting himself with the tongue after each declaration. After several dozen repetitions, his face was swollen to absurd proportions—but the tongue that had been doing the slapping now lay paralyzed on the ground, utterly immobile.

"Can't eat anymore—urp—gonna die—urp—gonna burst—urp—"

"Begging for mercy? Heh heh. Have I ever decei—"

Before he could finish, the tongue convulsed violently and made retching sounds.

"BLERGH—"

"..."

'This is way too weird. A tongue that dry-heaves.'

Cheng Shi looked down at the gagging tongue and spoke with a cold smile:

"Who was your original owner?"

The tongue retched painfully for a good while before finally succumbing to Cheng Shi's antics. With tears, it choked out a name:

"Zhen Xin—her name is Zhen Xin!"

!!!???

Huh?

Cheng Shi went numb. He'd never imagined the Puppet Master had been Zhen Xin in disguise.

But those puppet strings had seemed completely genuine—was she a Victim class who possessed the Lies of Yesterday talent?

Just as Cheng Shi puzzled over this, the Fool's Lips—which had been watching the show this whole time—spoke up: "It lied to you."

Cheng Shi blanked, then his expression darkened.

"Who lied to me? Brother Mouth, are you trying to trick me too?"

"I never lie."

'That's me! Not you!'

Cheng Shi rubbed his swollen, aching cheek, then abruptly changed the subject: "What's your relationship with this tongue?"

"No relationship."

"Oh, is that so? No relationship? Then let's flush it down the toilet!"

"..."

With that, Cheng Shi scooped up the helpless tongue and strode toward the bathroom behind the warehouse. But halfway there, the Fool's Lips caved.

"There is a relationship."

Cheng Shi raised an eyebrow, thinking: 'There it is—finally pried it out!'

"What kind of relationship?"

"If the lips are gone, the teeth will be cold."

"?" Cheng Shi frowned. "What does that mean?"

"Without me, the tongue gets cold."

"..."

'Are you seriously giving me an idiom lesson right now!?'

Cheng Shi's face went rigid and he sharply quickened his pace—but no matter how fast he walked, the Fool's Lips said nothing more. Seeing Brother Mouth go completely silent with zero intention of explaining, Cheng Shi's mouth twitched and he stopped.

"Not flushing it?"

"..." The tongue was still dry-heaving, unable to respond.

Cheng Shi growled through gritted teeth: "The toilet's clogged. Can't flush."

'I fought to get this tongue back—why would I let anyone flush it?'

'Damn it—getting my face slapped swollen by a tongue is bad enough, and now I'm being mocked by a set of lips. My life really is tragic!'

But he absolutely refused to concede defeat. Cheng Shi produced a potion to reduce the swelling on his cheeks, then muttered stubbornly:

"Fine—don't talk. I'll find out eventually."

He stomped to the edge of the rooftop and sat down, mulling over whether the Puppet Master really was Zhen Xin. Just then, Xie Yang from the neighboring building poked his head over the opposite rooftop edge and called out curiously:

"Bro, what's wrong? You look kinda deflated."

Cheng Shi froze, then blurted out:

"The toilet's clogged. Ate too much."

?????

Cheng Shi was dumbstruck. He'd never imagined that taking phrases out of context and splicing them together could work like this.

Xie Yang was equally dumbstruck. He noticed his neighbor's cheeks still looked somewhat puffy, and recalled that the direction he'd come from was indeed the back of the warehouse rather than the front entrance. His expression froze, and he said with a hint of unease:

"...Ha, that's a pretty, uh, unique hobby you've got there... Anyway, I've got something to take care of. I'll head out first."

"..."

Watching Xie Yang bolt away at full speed, Cheng Shi had a sinking feeling that his reputation as a "necromancer" was only going to accumulate more bizarre quirks.

'Oh well. I've watched plenty of his embarrassing moments—fair's fair if some get watched back. Shared joy beats solo joy.'

'Let's just call it an offering to the Fun God...'

Thinking about it that way, he felt much better.

...