Chapter 78 |
“Do you really think that kind of resentment will ever have an end? Seriously?”
“What are you even talking about? I really have no idea what you’re saying…….”
I quietly looked down at Woo Kangwon, who was still trying to deny my words. Then, I played a file on my tablet. It was a voice recording that the whistleblower had uploaded as evidence.
[“I’m sorry. I never thought my actions would ruin your lives! Please forgive me…….”]
“The whistleblower claimed, during the program filming, Woo Kangwon came to me, he cried and begged me to cover up the assault. However, there is not a single word in this recording admitting to the assault. It only contains words of apology towards them.”
“Stop.”
“It was strange. Woo Kangwon, who was considered a promising athlete, voluntarily withdrew from the national team selection. He humiliated his opponent in front of reporters, beating him mercilessly, only to suddenly quit judo afterward.”
“Please stop!”
“You were trying to stop a match-fixing, right?”1
“How do you know……”
I could feel the rough, calloused hand of a former athlete trembling. The door was closed, and it was just the two of us here, yet he was drowning in fear far beyond reason.
It was a pitiful sight, but I couldn’t allow him to run from this any longer. I grabbed Woo Kangwon’s hand, which was trying to block my words, and pulled it away from my mouth. Then, I stared into his trembling eyes and spoke.
“What on earth does that guy think he’s so wronged about? That you wouldn’t join him in rigging the match? Or that you refused to fall to rock bottom with him?”
“…….”
“I guarantee you, that guy’s demands won’t end with just this one time.Even if you’re scared, you have to face it head-on. You need to put an end to this now.”
There was a reason why I couldn’t shake off my fatigue, even though the third mission had finished a few days ago.
Every time Woo Kangwon was away, I used my ability to gradually figure out what was happening to him. And when Woo Kangwon went out without permission and made contact with the junior who posted the expose, I learned the full story behind this incident.
“Does it feel good to walk away after ruining everything just to keep your own hands clean? This kind of thing happens all the time in the sports world, so why couldn’t you, sunbae, endure it and end up ruining the lives of the rest of us? They promised that if you helped the Chairman’s friend’s son make it to the national team once, our turn would come next.”
“If you just leave after making such a mess, what am I supposed to do? This is all your fault, sunbae. Take responsibility! Take responsibility for it!”
Why did Woo Kangwon quit his career as an athlete.
“Still, I was the fool for trusting and following you just because you were the captain. After that, sunbae, because I was close to you, I was targeted and couldn’t make it to the selection trials because of biased judging. I was beaten by the coach and got injured, so now my career as an athlete is over.”
Why did he feel guilty about that guy,
“You’re so lucky, sunbae. For us, if this doesn’t work out, our lives are basically over, but you, with a light heart, became successful as an idol and your life completely changed overnight.”
“You abandoned us like that and ended up ruining the lives of your juniors, but you’re going to live a good life alone? As the captain, you should take responsibility until the end. Please fall as low as we did.”
Why did he just silently watch that expose filled only with lies.
“No matter how much you struggle, people will never take you seriously, sunbae. Do you really think you’ll continue to get this kind of attention forever? That if you work hard enough, they’ll eventually acknowledge you? No. They’re just giving you a momentary attention because it’s funny how someone who spent their whole life in sports is now acting like a clown, trying to be an entertainer.”
What kind of words did that guy say to break Woo Kangwon’s spirit.
Perhaps realizing that I knew everything, Woo Kangwon lowered his head and muttered, “…That child did his best. But things ended up like this because I couldn’t repay him for it. I didn’t even know what was happening and just kept living with a smile on my face.”
“…….”
“And just like that child said, it’s true that I came here with a light heart. After quitting sports, I was just trying whatever came my way. I was so happy spending time with all of you that I forgot.”
His words sounded more like self-comfort than persuasion.
As I always pointed out, Woo Kangwon was too kind a person.
Even today, he kept apologizing to the guy who had said he was disappointed in him, the one who had scratched his wounds.
It seemed that Woo Kangwon was willing to fall to the bottom with them, just as they desired.
But I could never stand by and let that happen.
“Let’s say there was vote rigging incident in this program.”
“…….”
“Hyung, you know my personality, so you can roughly guess how I would act. I wouldn’t hesitate to expose everything to the media, I would spread the word that everything that is happening now is nothing but lies, that this program is a deception towards the public. Then all the trainees on this program, including you, would lose their once-in-a-lifetime chance to debut successfully. If that happened, would you blame me, hyung?”
When I applied Woo Kangwon’s situation to myself, the hand holding mine gave a little jolt, and his face turned pale. Woo Kangwon shook his head as if to say ‘absolutely not‘, but I continued to speak. So that he could see his own situation more clearly.
“Seungbeom-ah, the reason I couldn’t debut is because of you. You ruined my life, so take responsibility. How dare you dream of debuting after taking away my opportunity? Trainee Han Seungbeom is a vicious person who usually harasses other trainees. He doesn’t deserve the love of the public. So, everyone, please curse at Han Seungbeom and help clear my injustice. How about that?”
“No. Don’t say that … Don’t say that, Seungbeom-ah.”
As the words of criticism directed at me continued to pour in, Woo Kangwon moved his limp hand to grasp mine.
Yes, this was the kind of person Woo Kangwon was.
He was the kind of person who feared that even words I made up as mere examples might hurt me—even if all those words came from my own mouth.
“What’s the difference between this and what they said? You know it’s just a bunch of nonsense, hyung.”
His current attitude was completely dismantling all the words he had just used to defend his juniors. And he was likely well aware of that himself.
“He’s getting cocky because you’ve been apologizing and playing along with his disgusting victim complex. It’s time to cut him off. There’s a limit to how much you can tolerate.”
“…….”
“People like him, who are so stuck in their victim mentality, will never stop after just one time. Every time he fails at something or faces hardship, he’ll blame it all on you, hyung. Are you going to do this for the rest of your lives?”
Seeing Woo Kangwon sit silently without denying it anymore, I let out a sigh.
‘I’m dying of frustration.’
Woo Kangwon was someone who had been forced to give up the dream he’d devoted his life to.
And a person who lost everything in an instant must have lived while brainwashing himself; ‘I don’t cherish anything. So, even if the day comes when something is taken from me again, I will be fine‘.
His reaction to the surprise camera was the result of that brainwashing.
“I was definitely disappointed in you, hyung. I hate indecisive people. I hate liars even more.”
“….Yes.”
“It’s obvious something’s wrong, yet you kept it all bottled up and ended up messing up the performance. You sneaked out without saying anything, without permission. You accepted leaving the program without a word. If you can’t even ask for help, can you really be a member? You’re just a background figure. We can’t debut together with this kind of relationship.”
Woo Kangwon nodded slightly, his worried expression showing a hint of relief after hearing the words I had spoken out of irritation.
“I see. I thought you were disappointed because my skills were lacking. That’s a relief. But either way, my rank will keep dropping, and I won’t make it into the debut lineup. Even at the last ranking announcement….”
“So what?”
“….Huh?”
When I curtly dismissed his pathetic words, Woo Kangwon looked up at me with dumbfounded expression. Seeing that, I frowned deeply and repeated myself.
“So what? What does it matter if your ranking dropped? If I want to debut with you, I’ll make it happen.”
Woo Kangwon was staring blankly at me, unable to come to his senses. I got up from my seat, leaving him like that. From now on, I had to expose the lies Woo Kangwon had been making up to deceive even himself, and force him to confront his true feelings.
“Are you sure you won’t regret it? If you run away like this, you’ll never be able to stand on stage again.”
At those words, Woo Kangwon’s body froze.
“Hyung, what about the fans who are holding on, still believing in you even when the whole world is cursing you? What about Do Yuda, who waited all night when you were gone? What about Lee Hwayoung, who pushed through the crowd to bring you back?”
“…….”
“Stop being tied down by the past and look at the present. Look at who’s standing beside you, not those juniors.”
“…..I told you, I didn’t come here with the same kind of determination as you all. I didn’t deserve to be here with you in the first place.”
I grabbed Woo Kangwon by the collar, who kept on frustrating me with his words, and yelled out loudly.
“What do you mean you didn’t deserve it? Someone who follows around a younger guy, trying to learn by simply watching and observing, and goes out for early morning practice every night while cutting down on sleep, how can that kind of person doesn’t deserve it? If you’re going to lie, at least try to look a bit more convincing. Your face says, ‘I can’t live if I give this up‘, but do you still want to keep digging a hole for yourself? I can’t comfort you, so seriously, just get it through your head already!”
“Uuh?”
Woo Kangwon looked up at me with his eyes wide open. He looked dumbfounded at being grabbed by the collar by someone so small.
I imagined how ridiculous we must look from an objective perspective, but I quickly shook my head. This wasn’t the time for that.
“It doesn’t matter how noble your reason is. What really matters is how much you’re willing to do for it. What good does a flashy reason even do? There are plenty of people in the world who do nothing but talk. And I have no use for people like that.”
“…….”
“Shall I be honest? I want to debut with you, hyung.”
His lifeless eyes began to regain their sparks, little by little.
It was time to let go of helplessness and resignation. Because from now on, I would be the one by his side, not those juniors with inferiority complex. I now understood that all of this happened because of Woo Kangwon’s terrible self-esteem and those damn junior bastards, and that alone was enough reason to protect him.
“So, this time, be honest with me, hyung. This is your last chance.”
“…….”
“Do you want to do it, or do you not?”
Will you pursue your dream, or will you run away again?
That was the only answer I needed, and I already knew the answer.
Woo Kangwon hesitated for a long time with his head bowed deeply, and then he said in a very small voice, “…Is it really okay if I don’t give up?”
I felt my heart pounding at the faint leak of his true feelings.
I took a deep breath, and answered sincerely.
“Of course. I’ll help you.”
At that moment, Woo Kangwon’s face distorted with emotions. And then, he spoke.
“…Actually, I don’t want to give up like this. I want to stand on stage.”
I flashed a grin and took Woo Kangwon’s hand, helping him to his feet.
“That’s all that matters.”
“…….”
“Go tell the PD. You absolutely will not quit the program.”
Woo Kangwon’s eyes trembled, welled up with tears.
I smiled brightly at him.
“We’re going to debut together.”
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Translator’s Corner:
- Match-fixing, in organized sports, is the act of playing or officiating a contest with the intention of achieving a predetermined result, violating the rules of the game and often the law. In this way, outcome of a competition is predetermined through illegal means, typically involving influencing players, referees, or other key individuals.
So, a player (or players) agree to underperform in a game, intentionally losing, or do certain actions at certain times during the game.
There can be reasons like order from the higher ups, players receiving bribes, or to make one side win in gambling (like you know, there’s a lot of gambling done by sports watchers) ↩︎
This 4 hours and 1/4 of it was me just holding back tears. I was doing this while playing Lee Juck – Don’t Worry on repeat for comfort but instead IT MAKES ME SADDER
Han Seungbeom … you’re the best leader … Han Seungbeom, I love you … please take care of me too …. I deserve a Han Seungbeom in my life too ….