Book 4: Chapter 20 |
“…Have you talked to Iroha?”
Yuri shakes her head and briefly replies, “Not yet.”
“…Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t have. It’s not that easy, I guess.”
Yuri just smiles. “I envy Otonashi.”
“…Because she can’t remember the game, huh?”
“That’s not the only reason.” Yuri’s still smiling as she continues, “I envy her because she’s the most important thing to you.”
And then, out of nowhere, tears are pouring down her face. It’s so sudden even Yuri is startled, as if she didn’t even notice herself. Ever since the game ended, Yuri sometimes cries for no reason, almost like a broken faucet. Her expert control over her tears is gone.
I’m completely used to this automatic weeping by now, so it doesn’t faze me.
Yuri speaks to me with a smile still on her face.
But there’s nothing dark about her expression.
“I’m really jealous. Since she is so important to you, she doesn’t have any memories of the game. You did everything in your power to protect her, so she never had to be the player. She didn’t get hurt.”
“……Maybe so.”
I guess all my hard work did pay off.
“Lucky her,” she says quietly. Her grin broadens as she wipes away her tears with a handkerchief.
The expression really puts me at ease, so I smile, too.
“Oh, you’re smiling.”
“Huh? …Yeah.”
“’Cause you saw my tears? Um, you can lick them up if you want, you know?”
…What the—? This is getting weird here, okay?
“You have a tear fetish, right?”
“……Did I tell you about that?”
“You did. Something about how licking up tears turns you on.”
I know I didn’t say that much! And hey, why’re you talking about turn-ons?! Did you decide to stop acting innocent?!
“A tear fetish is pretty kinky. 
”
“Wh-why are you teasing me now, too?!”
“Huh? Well, you’re into girls who toy with you, right? Like Otonashi?”
“That is a huge misunderstanding! It really bugs me!”
“You can’t get aroused unless you’re acting like you don’t want it… It’s genuine…”
“Wh-what’re you saying?! This isn’t you, Yuri!”
“Hmph. I know that! I have to work harder and get better at teasing you!”
Where are these comebacks coming from?!
“It’s just…making you squirm is so fun…”
Man, this is going downhill fast!
“Ah-ha-ha. Oh, I’ll go ahead and tell you why I asked you to come here.”
“Huh? It wasn’t because you wanted to say thanks?”
The way Yuri shakes her head is cute. “I want to ask you for a favor.”
“A favor?”
“Yes. I’m still unstable, and I haven’t recovered at all. I’m going to be in trouble if you don’t keep coming to visit me in my room for a while. I’ll be a mess if you stop now that we’re on summer break, so I wanted to ask you ahead of time…”
“Uh… Sure. I will.”
“We’re going to talk about the game, of course, so come by yourself. You won’t bring Otonashi, will you?”
“……Uh, okay?”
Something doesn’t seem right here.
“Oh yeah. Yesterday, my mom asked me about you. She wanted to know if the boy who stopped by all the time was my boyfriend.”
“……And how did you answer?”
“I acted shy and giggled at her. Tee-hee.”
“She is definitely going to get the wrong idea!”
“I mean, I know that.”
“Whaaaaaa—?! Why are you acting like I’m Captain Obvious here?!”
She’s acting way out of character… Or maybe she’s just being more open, since I know how she was in the game…
“……You’re pretty brazen, aren’t you, Yuri?”
“Eh-heh-heh, you’re only noticing that now? Just so you know, I’m not going to give up so quickly, okay? Even if your feelings are for Otonashi.”
“…Uh, you know, you did trick me quite a bit in the past. I’m not going to let you fool me so easily anymore.”
“Ah-ha-ha, I guess I deserve that. But you see, if you know how calculating I am, I can work that to my advantage. Basically, everything I do is pArt_of a concerted effort to seduce you, right?”
Yuri softly brushes my hand.
My heArt_leaps at the girl’s touch.
“You got excited, even though you know my intentions, see?”
I hate to admit it, but it’s true.
“I’ll keep manipulating you like this.”
She then brings her mouth close to my ear and whispers:
“I’ll make you think my desperation is so cute.”
My face turns red, just as Yuri intended. Ngh… I really am easy.
But with a rueful grin, I think, If she’s acting like this, Yuri will probably be fine.
Yuri steps away from me and, blushing, goes down the stairs by herself.
“By the way, Iroha seems to be getting on well with that guy recently. That one she always had feelings for,” she says as she descends.
“…Huh? How? She’s not in great shape.”
“That’s exactly why. Look, she’s at a weak point now, so she’s leaving herself open in ways she wasn’t before. It’s cute.”
Now that I think about it, Kamiuchi also said girls who don’t need anything aren’t attractive.
Yuri reaches the bottom of the stairs, then looks back at me.
“Um, I know I joked around quite a bit, but please do come to my place. I’ll be waiting for you.”
“Okay. You honestly had me scared there, but I’ll come by. I do really worry about you, you know.”
“Eh-heh-heh… Ah, I’ll make time for you whenever if you get in touch with me, but I have an important errand, so today doesn’t work. Sorry.”
“Hmm. What kind of errand?”
Yuri turns away from me again, still smiling. “I told you a minute ago that I haven’t talked to Iroha yet, right?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s true, but actually, I did text her. Just a bit before I met up with you.”
I’m surprised.
That must mean—
She turns back and says, “Today I promised to go out for a bit with someone important.”
With a carefree smile, she tells me exactly what I’ve been hoping to hear.
Yep… They definitely haven’t talked yet.
*******
When I return to the classroom, hiding my glee behind a hand, I see that a crowd has gathered.
Their eyes are shiny and moist, but everyone is smiling.
What’s all this about? I think for just a moment.
—Oh, right.
I know immediately who’s in the middle of that crowd.
…If only Kokone hadn’t let it slip, the emotion could have hit me full force…
Cursing her in my mind, I work my way into the crowd. I see an unfamiliar metal frame and tires. And then—
“—”
I take back what I said just now. I’m glad I found out beforehand.
If I saw her without any warning, I might have cried.
“Mogi…”
She’s here in the classroom wearing her school uniform.
Even though I see her all the time in the hospital, it’s enough to make my voice tremble.
“Hoshino.” Mogi spots me and smiles.
“Are you out now?”
“Of course not. They just gave me permission to go out for a bit. I still can’t live normally on my own. I contacted the school and got permission to come by after school, and my mom brought me to the classroom. I can’t do anything by myself,” Mogi says, smiling so it won’t sound like she’s berating herself. “But I wanted to come see you at school, even if it meant inconveniencing everyone a bit.”
When she hears this, Kokone smiles smugly and asks, “See who?”
Flustered, Mogi yelps, “A-all of you!”
It’s enough to make everyone laugh.
“Come oooon! It’s been so long, and here you all are teasing me… Oh, Hoshino, come closer so we can talk.”
“She says ‘Don’t tease me,’ but Kasumi sure isn’t trying to conceal who she’s got the hots for, is she?”
“Sh-shut it, Koko!”
At Mogi’s request, I approach her. Feeling like I should say something, I comment, “…Pretty cool.”
“Huh?”
“Your wheelchair.”
“You’re telling me what you think of my wheelchair at a time like this?! Shouldn’t you be talking about how something else looks?!”
Mogi snapped at me…
Appearances, huh…? I take in the sight of her. Her cheeks flush a bit, perhaps because it makes her feel awkward being scrutinized like this.
Now that I think about it, her physique is almost back to normal.
“You’ve put on weight.”
“……I know what you’re trying to say, but no girl likes to hear those words, Hoshino.”
Everyone laughs again.
“U-um, so what am I supposed to say…?”
“You’re asking me now…? Fine… Um, here, how about commenting on the clothes I’m wearing?”
“Oh yeah. I noticed.”
“That’s not what I mean. I’m asking you how it is to see them after so long…”
It looks like she got a brand-new uniform, in mint condition. I get the feeling the skirt is much longer than it was before. My guess is that since she’s sitting in a wheelchair, if it’s too short, then…well…you can probably see a lot.
What should I say, though? I can’t just say, “Hey, it looks like you’re making sure no one can see your underwear.”
Yeah, let’s go with something safe.
“It’s cute.”
“Huh?”
Mogi’s eyes go round… Huh? That’s not quite the reaction I expected. Let’s try saying it one more time.
“Your uniform looks cute on you.”
Mogi blushes all the way to her ears.
On top of that, she can’t even look at me directly. She lowers her face and starts jabbing me.
Um…? Maria would probably just brush it off and go, So what? Kokone would puff out her (E cup) chest and go, Of course I do! and my older sister, Roo, would probably act like she didn’t hear me even though she’s the one who asked. So what’s up with Mogi’s reaction here? This is new.
Haruaki’s hand lands on my shoulder with a thump.
“I see—so this is how you do it.”
“Huh?”
“Did you hear that, everyone? Shamelessly saying such pretentious things is this man’s modus operandi! This natural-born womanizer used this method to corrupt Maria and the other women!”
Why’s he talking like that?
“Kazuki Hoshino’s lady-killing requires capital punishment! Now then, I sentence you to being gagged with socks that Kiri’s been wearing for three days straight! Capital punishment indeed!”
“What’re you calling capital punishment?!” Kokone fires back. “That’s totally a reward!”
“I’ve heard some have died from it. There’re also theories that Kokone’s three-day socks generate a toxic substance known as tri-kokone ethylene.”
“Oh, that’s not possible. See, I’ve had requests for help from NPOs because they can make vaccines that save children in Africa from my socks.”
I don’t even know what these two are talking about anymore.
But I feel my lips soften into a smile.
Though Mogi is in a wheelchair now, nothing has changed a bit from when she was in the classroom. As ever, she is well-liked, while Haruaki and Kokone are idiots.
It’s as if we’ve gone back to how things used to be.
“……”
—Like we’ve gone back to how things used to be?
I can’t stop myself from looking around the classroom.
Back to how things used to be? Why should that even be possible?
It shouldn’t be.
No way, not when Daiya Oomine isn’t here with us.
I look at Kokone. She’s smiling with enjoyment.
That’s when I notice.
I see it now.
Also absent…is Maria.
“…Hmm? What’s the matter, Hoshino?”
What is this anxiety in my chest?
Daiya is one thing, but Maria probably just isn’t here at the moment. She might have returned to her classroom or gone home before me because she would be uncomfortable here while we’re reminiscing.
That’s all. It has to be.
I know this, but the restlessness won’t go away. It’s actually getting worse. I feel a pressure mounting in my chest, like someone’s squeezing my heart.
“……Mogi.”
“Hmm?”
“Sorry, but I have to step out for a bit.”
“Huh?” Mogi’s eyes are round.
“What’s up, Hosshi? Gotta take a dump?”
“No. It’s just Maria—”
—I feel I have to go see her.
But I can’t explain.
Because I saw Mogi.
I saw the gladness of her expression change into something different.
“…Mogi, I’m sorry.”
“……Huh? Why are you apologizing? Um…you aren’t going anywhere, are you?”
“Sorry.”
“……Um… Well, I—I have to go back to the hospital soon, so I don’t have much time. Will you stay with me until then? Will you?”
“…I will, if I can get back in time.”
Mogi’s eyes begin to tear up at the words she doesn’t want to hear.
“Why?” she pleads in a trembling voice. “Stay with me, okay? You can see Otonashi anytime, right? You won’t even see me off after I went through so much to come see you?”
Of course, I feel awful. I can see in Mogi’s expression and hear in her tone that she’s on the verge of tears.
Maria just isn’t here with us at the moment. I simply need to fight down my impulse to run to her. There’s no need to hurt Mogi so thoughtlessly.
Shouldn’t I stay here with her?
“—”
I made a decision, though.
I want to protect Maria, more than anything or anyone.
That’s why—
“Sorry!”
—I rush out of the classroom.
I don’t turn back at the voices calling for me to stop.
*******
I can’t reach Maria on her phone.
Despite school rules, she commutes to school on a motorcycle, which she always parks nearby. But her bike is already gone from its usual spot.
Even though she always waits here for me if she has nothing else going on.
After confirming that her bike isn’t there, I run over to the station and get on the train.
Impatient at the knowledge that I can’t hurry any quicker, I come to understand the true nature of my anxiety.
I’m deceiving Maria. I’ve kept quiet about the Game of Indolence and lied by saying I didn’t know Koudai Kamiuchi.
And I haven’t said a word about how O might have lost interest in me.
So even though I may not always be aware of it, a certain thought is always lurking in my mind.
Maybe Maria is going to disappear, possibly even at this very moment.
Seeing Mogi in her school uniform probably made it impossible to contain this anxiety.
When Mogi was in the classroom, Maria wasn’t. She wasn’t in my normal life. And that’s not all. Just as I transformed Koudai Kamiuchi’s Box into a catalyst for growth, Maria also changed Mogi’s Box into something similar.
Maria and Mogi are inseparable.
So even though I have no evidence, I think:
When Mogi returns to the classroom, won’t that mean Maria is already gone?
“……”
Next, I think about Daiya and Kokone.
Daiya is gone. Yet, Kokone doesn’t seem worried about him at all. Daiya certainly isn’t a minor presence in her life, but his disappearance seems to have merely annoyed her. She acts like she hardly cares.
Why?
Here’s my hypothesis.
—What if Kokone suspected Daiya would vanish someday?
I’m sure she probably didn’t think he would do it like this, of course. I doubt she knows anything about Boxes.
But what if she knew he was going to leave her, at least? What if she knew Daiya’s mission all along?
That would be why she’s given up on the idea of his swift return. She’s already prepared herself for Daiya’s eventual departure.
I don’t know what occurred between the two of them. It’s a mistake to accuse Kokone of being cold for apparently accepting Daiya’s disappearance so easily.
But I’m not the same as Kokone. Though I know Maria’s objective, though I know she’ll try to vanish someday, I will not give up.
I will never, ever allow her to leave me.
I arrive in front of Maria’s apartment building.
As soon as I try to go in, I remember you can’t even go through the front door of a building like this without a tenant with you. I can’t even make it to the elevator.
What should I do?
I loiter for a bit in a panic. Drawing on what rational thought remains in my brain, I pull out my phone again.
After dialing the number from memory, I make the call. The phone rings. I pray Please answer with each ring.
And then—
“What’s up?”
—Maria’s voice.
“—”
Ahhh—
Though I just heard her voice a little while ago, even though it’s as brusque as always, I can’t even make myself give a response.
“Hey? What is this? A silent phone call? You didn’t even hide your number.”
“N-no.” I can finally speak. “I’m out front at your place now, so can you let me in?”
“What? Fine by me, but…why didn’t you call beforehand? Oh, you did. Sorry, I was on my bike, so I guess I didn’t notice.”
“It’s okay. Anyway, I’m on my way up, so buzz me in.”
“Okay.”
I end the call, and the door opens.
My legs carry me to the elevator of their own volition. My heArt_won’t stop racing—not while I wait for the elevator, and not while I’m on it.
When I reach the fourth floor, I find myself running to room 403, even though it’s not very far.
I ring the bell, then hear the click of the door unlocking.
Maria’s face peers through the crack.
That, at least, gives me a glimmer of hope.
Before the door can open fully, I push my way into the room, almost leaping on Maria.
“…What’s the matter, Kazuki?” Maria questions, her eyes round at my odd behavior.
“Maria… Why did you leave before me without saying anything?”
“…I left early because I’m not a fan of Mogi; you know that. Why is your face so pale? And why are you here so early, too? You don’t need to talk to Mogi anymore?”
“No, it’s fine.”
I tell her:
“You’re the most important person to me.”
Maria’s eyes open even wider—
—but then quickly narrow.
“I see.”
She then strokes my head gently.
“I swear… You’ve been different recently.”
Maria’s caught on to the changes in me a little bit.
“It’s all in your head.”
So I play it off as nothing.
As payback for Maria’s head pats, I run my fingers through her long hair.
The shy smile rising on her face still contains a hint of melancholy to me, and yeah—it’s frustrating.