Chapter 123 |
In Lee Jaehun’s opinion, Ha Sungyoon possessed ample talent as a writer. Otherwise, why would he have crafted such a tragic backstory for his character?
As a result, Lee Jaehun’s character had expanded as ‘someone who was forced to sacrifice by one of his colleagues from the hidden world and had adapted to it’ as well as being ‘a victim who is tormented by monsters even in his dreams.’
Just when he had made up his mind to openly act weak and dⁱㅌ at an opportune moment, all these background settings came pouring in. He couldn’t tell if this should be considered good luck or bad luck.
“……”
Well, these settings would disappear once he regressed anyway.
He needed to relax a bit more.
* * *
And so, Ha Sungyoon made up his mind.
Read at Novelib.com
“Yes?”
“I think we need to keep a close eye on the Manager. Make sure he doesn’t, you know, commit suicide.”
“……”
“Oh, not just suicide—anything like that, really.”
That person would probably dⁱㅌ soon.
“He seems to be at his limit.”
Read at Novelib.com
Ha Sungyoon smiled gently as he spoke.
In war, there was something called the Thousand-yard Stare. It was a phenomenon where the body relaxed after a battle, leading to a certain expression. A concept slightly different from PTSD, Ha Sungyoon had seen people with that expression very often.
The eyes of such soldiers were incredibly intense.
Sometimes excessively bright, sometimes terribly dark, but the common thread was a chilling obsession, as if they could never let something out of their sight. Even though they were not actually looking at anything.
From Ha Sungyoon’s perspective, it wasn’t a serious symptom. It was a phenomenon that appeared in any soldier who had experienced war.
“…Do you think he’ll dⁱㅌ?”
“……”
Yeah.
Read at Novelib.com
“I think…”
That is, if Lee Jaehun were a ‘soldier’ who had experienced ‘war’.
There was no war here, and Lee Jaehun wasn’t a soldier either. Therefore, Ha Sungyoon suspected that the person who had made Lee Jaehun this way was someone from the military, but he couldn’t be sure.
Lee Jaehun wasn’t one to easily reveal his trauma. Unlike typical patients who exhibited specific reactions when overwhelmed by trauma, Lee Jaehun was desperately trying to hide it. It seemed he wanted his perceived value not to fall.
Therefore, it was difficult to openly discuss the traces of PTSD with him, but with this much evidence, Ha Sungyoon could at least broach the subject.
“……”
“Have you seen Mr. Lee Jaehun’s eyes? His pupils are usually extremely dilated. But lately, I haven’t seen him that tense.”
Read at Novelib.com
Of course, Ha Sungyoon wasn’t a psychiatrist, but,
“To put it simply, the person who has been stubbornly holding on is finally giving up.”
As a ‘doctor’ for an unspecified multitude, he had witnessed an overwhelmingly large number of things.
Ha Sungyoon was undoubtedly someone for whom being a doctor was a true calling, and he loved all his patients. Therefore, he had to observe their every reaction, and this became the foundation for him to become a decent doctor and a good person. At least, that was how it was for him in the past.
And the kind of apathy Lee Jaehun was currently displaying was not a good sign.
“In these cases… things usually don’t end well.”
There were patients whose minds dⁱㅌd while he healed their bodies. No matter how carefully Ha Sungyoon saved them, they would soon become cold corpses with various expression.
But he was a doctor who had accustomed to all this death.
Read at Novelib.com
“……”
“……”
I will entrust the decision to you.
Ha Sungyoon entered the otherworld with a clear purpose, but even if he couldn’t achieve it, he was prepared to accept imminent death.
Unless it was related to his patients, Ha Sungyoon was surprisingly good at giving up. And Jung Inho wasn’t his patient. Ha Sungyoon couldn’t pressure his own patients, so the only person he could say this to was Jung Inho. Jung Inho wouldn’t run away.
Even if it stemmed from guilt.
“…Why…”
Read at Novelib.com
Jeong Inho’s lips twitched as he muttered.
He seemed to resent Ha Sungyoon.
He looked as if he wanted to grab him by the collar, or hit him over the head with the wrench he always carried. It was a glimpse into how cornered Jung Inho was feeling.
Nevertheless, and just as he expected, Jung Inho didn’t run away.
“…What do you want me to do?”
Ha Sungyoon smiled as always.
“Well… I’m not very good at leading the way.”
“Neither am I.”
Read at Novelib.com
“If you let me take the lead, everyone here will dⁱㅌ.”
“Can I take that as a joke?”
“I’m not saying I’ll kill them, Mr. Jung Inho.”
Ha Sungyoon was being sincere.
He was sincerely amused by this whole situation.
“I’m just saying that’s the path I’ll take.”
He wasn’t Lee Jaehun or Jung Inho, so he wouldn’t be able to save them.
Read at Novelib.com
Ha Sungyoon already knew that he was pretty crazy.
Even if he dⁱㅌd alone in this crazy world, he wouldn’t be angry or feel wronged. Lee Jaehun’s self-sacrificing spirit and Jung Inho’s tenacious survival instincts were something Ha Sungyoon lacked.
If someone like him took the lead, well.
“…I don’t want to become that much of a bad person.”
“……”
“Because I’m a doctor.”
Ha Sungyoon would use these fragile people for his own benefit without any remorse.
“Isn’t that right?”
Read at Novelib.com
“…Seriously, these fcking lunatics…”
Jung Inho maintained a dutiful smile, but a suppressed curse slipped through his gritted teeth. Ha Sungyoon thought it was like ventriloquism, but he kept his usual expression to avoid further angering him.
However, Ha Sungyoon did agree with his words to some extent.
‘They did say the likelihood of that was high.’
His friend had told him that most of the people dragged into the otherworld had some kind of mental flaw. At the very least, it meant that those who experienced something more or less than ‘ordinary’ ended up here. Though he couldn’t define what level of experience they considered ‘ordinary.’
In any case, it would not be an exaggeration to say that 90% of the people gathered here could be considered crazy. At least, according to what Ha Sungyoon had heard.
“Do you have any plans?”
Read at Novelib.com
“That’s all you ever ask me, isn’t it? I guess that’s just how it is. I always have to have a plan.”
“Because you’re always so obsessed with our well-being.”
“……”
“…It’s too obvious, Jung Inho.”
Although Jung Inho was clearly a smart and realistic person, there were times when he did strangely s*upid things. However, Ha Sungyoon knew he was capable of being more calculating.
If only he wasn’t so preoccupied with his unknown trauma.
“Look at the reality. I’ve given you the information; the choice is yours.”
“What choice am I supposed to make here?”
Read at Novelib.com
“Whether to leave him be, or take action. Or, you could just vaguely worry and let several people dⁱㅌ. That’s a pretty good option too.”
Surprisingly, all of this was out of goodwill.
‘That person wouldn’t have mentioned the killer for no reason.’
Ha Sungyoon suddenly wondered if he and Lee Jaehun might be a little alike. Of course, he wasn’t as pitiful as Manager Lee Jaehun, who seemed to struggle with even basic common sense.
“It’s like a curse, like telling him to dⁱㅌ.”
“You might not believe it, but I’m always rooting for you, Mr. Jung Inho. I don’t think there’s anyone Mr. Lee Jaehun trusts as much as you.”
“…What the fʊck are you…”
Read at Novelib.com
“If he dⁱㅌs, you’re next.”
Ha Sungyoon believed there was a kind of pecking order in this apocalyptic world. Right now, it was Jung Inho. Before Jung Inho, it was Lee Jaeheon. And before Lee Jaehun, there must have been someone else, and another before that. It seemed clear that something had been passed down, at least from the person directly above Lee Jaehun.
At least out of minimal conscience as a doctor and a human being, Ha Sungyoon would have left Lee Jaehun to his death. Lee Jaehun deserved eternal rest, and Jung Inho was only human.
Ha Sungyoon’s act of foretelling Lee Jaehun’s future stemmed purely from goodwill and humanity.
Though he wasn’t sure who it was truly for.
“Move, you fool.”
“……”
“Don’t do something you’ll regret, consumed by mere illusions.”
Read at Novelib.com
Perhaps Ha Sungyoon was also losing his mind. The kind beliefs he held as a human and a doctor were gradually fading, and all that remained was a madman who didn’t regret giving his own eye to a monster. It was a disqualification as a doctor, before even being a human.
Nevertheless, he put on the gentlest, kindest smile he could muster.
Because,
“I won’t help you.”
* * *
And, Lee Jahunalso anticipated this flow.
‘It would be stranger if he kept his mouth shut.’
It was true that his judgment was clouded at the moment, but it had still been decent before. That meant the data Lee Jaehun had collected by observing and analyzing the group still remained from when his judgment was decent.
Dr. Ha Sungyoon showed kindness to the weak, but not to those who could still move. Perhaps if Lee Jaehun hadn’t suffered such miraculous injuries, he too would have been harassed by Ha Sungyoon several times, just like the protagonist who seemed to be mentally unstable now.
Actually, there might be another reason why Ha Sungyoon was relatively lenient with Lee Jaehun…
‘It’s not important right now.’
Just like Owner Yoon Garam, whose awakening was delayed.
Anyway, Lee Jaehun was about to dⁱㅌ soon, and he had prepared the minimum foothold for him. The immediate task was to draw the garbage’s attention, which had reached Officer Kim Yeonwoo, to himself. That way, procuring food for the algae monster would become smoother.
Yes, it was not the time to worry and blame himself for how much his previous plan had failed. From now on, Lee Jaehun only needed to finish his deal with the algae monster and provide plausibility for the protagonist who would remember the regression.
Even a ruined play had to have an ending.
“Manager, why don’t you rest for a while?”
“…….”
“I know where the water source is and where the food supplies are. There are many people and no monsters nearby, so there’s no need for you to move….”
“Alright.”
“…Yes?”
“Let’s do that.”
Blinking his eyes slowly as if tired, he continued.
“I’m too sleepy.”
“…….”
“Go ahead without me.”
The protagonist’s eyes twitched slightly, surprised by the obvious change in his attitude. The fact that Lee Jaehun could see it even with his blurred vision meant the protagonist was quite anxious.
Whether in a past life or this one, a sudden change in someone’s attitude was considered a bad omen. The difference was that in the past life, death wasn’t an option, so Lee Jaehun only needed to manage his mental state, but in this life, death could be used as a means of escape. That was why there was a saying that when people change, they dⁱㅌ.
And it wasn’t without plausibility.
‘That kid’s corpse.’
Although not entirely intentional, Lee Jaehun had made a fool of himself in front of it, so there was plausibility for him to be tired enough to dⁱㅌ.
But if it was the ‘Lee Jaehun’ they knew, he wouldn’t dⁱㅌ alone so irresponsibly.
“By the way, shall we have a talk tonight?”
“…A talk?”
“There are things I want to tell you.”
As a senior in the other world, he would try to teach Jung Inho everything he could.
So it was nothing special.
“…So.”
“…….”
“What do you think?”
It was just that the certainty that he would survive had disappeared….
It was nothing more than a fluctuation in emotions, which wasn’t that uncommon.