Chapter 104: 888. The Chapter of the Zombie and the Girl (The End) (2) |
It was as if time had stopped.
Neither I nor Hee-ah, and probably even Jung-eun and Yeon-ah watching us from behind, made a single sound.
With trembling eyes, I stared in horror at what I’d done.
─Drip, drip.
['.....─,─.']
My two hands gripping the club.
The end of that club had pierced through the tattered cloth, through her chest, and out through Hee-ah’s back.
The unidentified green liquid coming from Hee-ah's body soaked into the wooden club and seeped through.
The liquid that couldn't fully seep through either splattered in all directions, or quietly flowed down along the club as is.
Yes.
I stabbed Hee-ah.
With my own hands, I once again killed the child who had already died because of me.
I had killed her, once again.
Atonement, yes, maybe all I truly wanted was to atone.
I had believed that if I let myself be bitten and killed by that child, the sins I had committed might be absolved.
But in the end, I realized it would have been nothing more than self-gratification, at best.
It would only place a heavy burden on the child.
If I had died instead of Hee-ah back then, I probably wouldn’t have thought about revenge or anything like that.
I would have probably just sat quietly somewhere by the banks of the Sanzu River, waiting for the others to follow.
(TL Note: The Sanzu River is a mythological river, it’s kinda like the River of Styx, it’s where you go before reaching the afterlife.)
If they came quickly, I’d say, “Why are you here so soon?” If they came late, I’d say, “I waited so long, my neck hurts.”
Then, when we met again, we would have joined hands and walked off somewhere together.
And if that child, who was kinder and gentler than I, was the one there, she would surely have done the same.
I couldn’t even begin to picture her lashing out to ask why I hadn’t died in her place.
Yes.
This isn’t some rationalization I made to find some peace of mind.
It’s simply my faith in that kind child.
That the one before my eyes was no longer the Hee-ah we knew.
That it was a monster that was forcing that child to move, forcing her to suffer.
That’s what I believed.
—Swish.
['─■, nn■e…']
"....Ah?"
Because of that, I couldn’t make sense of the sounds I heard next.
A voice that was all mashed together and twisted, unmistakably that of a zombie’s, impossible to decipher.
Yet now, it was just intelligible enough to catch a faint sense of words.
And that sound was coming from none other than Hee-ah’s mouth, who had become a zombie.
Was it an auditory hallucination? Or just my imagination?
Before I could even react, Hee-ah’s previously still body began to move again, little by little.
Crack, crack, a series of cracking sounds, like bones breaking.
Those sounds came from Hee-ah, whose heart my wooden club had impaled, as she started moving her feet again and slowly walked toward me.
Of course, the deeper Hee-ah walked towards me, the deeper the club embedded itself in her chest, but she didn’t seem to care, her arms spread wide as she approached.
Even with her torso twisting and the air seemingly leaking from her lungs, Hee-ah continued on, silently advancing to me.
I watched the entire scene, my mouth hanging open, eyes filled with pure shock.
Because Hee-ah.
That Hee-ah, whose chest I had personally pierced with my own hands just moments ago.
['Un, n, ■■e…']
"....Hee-ah?"
Was walking towards me with a smile on her face.
Before I knew it, the distance between Hee-ah and me had closed even further than before, to the point where our bodies were nearly pressed together.
Close enough that the breath escaping my lips became the wind that stirred Hee-ah’s hair.
At that distance of barely a hand span, the wounded Hee-ah looked at the frozen me and opened her mouth.
Not to bare her teeth like before.
But as if to speak, her lips moving.
Hee-ah spat out each syllable, one by one.
['──U, n, n, i, e.']
"....Ah."
The words she spoke were undoubtedly calling me.
Though choppy and as if scratched, Hee-ah’s words were undeniably directed at me.
Before I could be surprised by that, Hee-ah's arms that had been spread wide slowly closed and tightly embraced my waist.
Hee-ah's body was cold, an icy chill radiating from her skin
I could feel that cool temperature through my clothes.
Never once had I seen someone who had become a zombie regain their senses.
No matter how many people tried restraining them, giving them medicine, doing whatever. They would just scream and flail their arms.
How many people had tried only to become one of them in that process.
So then, what was I seeing now, right in front of me?
I couldn’t believe it. It didn't feel real.
['Hee, ■.']
"....Ah, aaah....!!"
But that characteristic giggle.
That familiar posture of embracing me.
They told me that what I was seeing now, that the person I was facing, was indeed Hee-ah.
It wasn’t an illusion. It wasn’t my imagination.
In that case, this could only be a miracle from above.
—Squeeze.
['Th, an, k, yo, u.']
"I'm sorry, Hee-ah."
We were given one last opportunity to face each other.
In that limited time, one expressed gratitude, and the other apologized.
Those were words destined never to meet, like parallel lines that could not intersect, making true conversation impossible.
Yet at that moment, those words were enough to connect my heart and Hee-ah’s.
Everything I did, was rewarded in this moment.
*Did it hurt?*
*No, not at all.*
*I’m sorry.*
*Thank you.*
*Thank you.*
......
*I love, you.*
*Me, too.*
*Sleep well, Hee-ah.*
.......
*Hee-ah?*
.............
*Sleep, well.*
.................
*Sleep, tight.*
Like that.
"........"
Until Hee-ah’s cold body slowly stiffened, and Yeon-ah and Jung-eun, who had regained their senses, came to me.
I continued to hold that child’s body in my arms.
Just as Hee-ah's last words, so quiet that only I could hear, had said.
Just as Hee-ah’s wishes, murmuring that my body was warm and it felt nice, words identical to the conversation we’d had once.
I conveyed the warmth of my body, my heart, just as that child had wanted.
With trembling hands, I gently brushed aside her snow-white hair.
The child, her eyes closed as if in peaceful slumber.
Hee-ah's face wore a bright smile, as though she was having a good dream.
Only after I saw that the child’s eyes were closed
Only after realizing that those small lips were no longer moving.
Could I finally cry my heart out.
**
**
"—Hwa-min, so where are we going?"
"......."
Tap.
Sitting in the back seat, I looked out the window at the passing scenery.
Those two months were painfully brief, yet they were enough for so many things to change.
The once-clean streets were now littered with debris, and the stuffy air thick with exhaust fumes was now replaced by the stench of decay.
The bright streetlights and neon signs that used to appear here and there had vanished, and the night sky had returned to its original dark, dimly lit state.
Wildflowers sprouted along the roadsides, and vines climbing freely over walls.
Yes, everything has changed.
"—Sunbae?"
"......."
We, too, had changed no less than the world outside.
We had a mid-sized car, big enough to seat five people comfortably.
But those wide seats were already filled with bulky items like canned goods and camping gear.
Even though everything was packed tight, it felt incredibly empty to me.
".........."
The seat next to me, where the small child should have been sitting.
In that place, There was only something cold and metallic there.
"Where to, huh."
Swish, I looked down.
In my hand was a set of keys with a cat doll keychain attached. The white fur of the cat was striking. There was a bit of blood on it.
A cat doll with a pretty smile, just like Hee-ah.
For some reason, as Hee-ah's laughter automatically played in my mind, a small laugh escaped my lips.
"........."
"........."
Jung-eun and Yeon-ah, sitting in the driver's seat and passenger seat, watched my behavior with questioning eyes.
The world has ended.
In this world devoid of even a single ray of light, so dark, and the hope we had so desperately sought was nowhere to be seen anymore.
Tomorrow, which we had expected would be better, believing rescue teams would soon come to save us, would probably be even more miserable than today.
Yes.
In some ways, living might be more painful than dying.
But since when did we rely on grand hopes to keep living, anyway?
Did we live on because tomorrow would be better than today, and the day after tomorrow happier than tomorrow?
Wasn’t the joy and comfort in our lives found in the weekends that came after a tiring week, the junk food we’d sneak out to buy, the karaoke we’d run off to with friends after skipping night study.
What lies ahead will undoubtedly be a difficult and painful journey.
This cruel world will easily take away everything we had taken for granted until now.
But I will no longer give up.
Because after letting out one good string of curses, kicking my pillow around, and throwing it as far as I can, all the sad and painful things will become yesterday’s news.
By then, as if what happened before doesn’t matter anymore, I’ll just go on living another day.
The day after tomorrow will become tomorrow, and tomorrow will become today.
Because even the distant day after tomorrow, will eventually become today.
Silently resisting the absurdity thrust upon us.
Finding happiness in our own way within that struggle.
Because that's how life is.
So──
"—Let's go to Gangwon-do."
"....Okay. You ready, Yeon-ah?"
"Yes, everything’s mapped out. You can head out anytime."
So, I will keep on living.
No matter how shitty the world is.
Even if what awaits ahead is nothing but endless despair.
With both eyes wide open, looking straight ahead, not backing down from any trials that come my way.
With this life Hee-ah has given me, I will survive until the very end.
I will live.
Because living is good.
And maybe, just maybe, it’s the best thing we have.
—Swish.
"........"
Before the car departed for the last time, I looked outside through the window.
In the window, I could see a house with a distinctive blue roof, and my faint reflection in the glass.
The image of the house, where strong rosy memories lingered, a sight that I might be seeing for the last time.
I burned that image deeply into my mind.
Today, we decided to embark on a journey of no promised return.
We were heading to Gangwon-do, a place known for its vast area but relatively sparse population, and dotted with military bases — where we hoped more survivors might be.
We planned to pass through there. If we couldn’t find any signs of life there, we’d continue down along the coastline.
We will meet people, live our lives, and endure, and endure some more.
And when everything is over, when the time comes, we will return here again.
Yes, we will return.
As long as that small burial mound exists right there at that house, the one we dug with our own hands.
As long as this key to Hee-ah's house exists in my hand.
We will return to our hometown, to this place.
This is the journal I write.
This is the record of me, eighteen-year-old Lee Hwa-min, written during the time when the world was hurtling towards its end. It recounts the forty-two days I spent with that child who was so pure and bright in every way.
Something I can never forget, something I must never forget.
Vroom—!
"—Alright, let’s go."
"Hold on tight! If you get hurt, don’t blame me!!"
This is my story, my pride.
**
On a small, crudely made grave.
In place of a headstone, there stood a wooden plank, on which the following words were written:
「Like a star in the night sky, a child who shone faintly but brightly.
Here lies in rest.」
**
* * *
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