Chapter 385 |
Chapter 385 Guiding Light
I stared at the cockroach in my hand for a long while, then suddenly, a smile tugged at my lips.
All my life, I had been thinking of others, upholding fairness as my creed, pursuing it without end. But who in this world had ever truly thought for me?
I held the scales of justice within my heart, facing the whole world, only to have them constantly shaken and tipped by others.
Whenever people introduced me, they would say I was a well-known {female} lawyer in Chengdu. I always loathed that title.
What I wanted was equality, not preferential treatment.
I was a lawyer—whether well-known or not—why must the emphasis fall on {female}? I only wished to stand as any other lawyer, judged by my work, not my gender.
But now…
None of that mattered anymore.
My gums bleed endlessly, beyond my ability to stop it.
It feels like I’m about to die…
I wonder…has a life ever ended in this place?
Why are there so many scratch marks on the walls?
They weren’t carved by me, yet they remain, so stark and deliberate. Could it be another had once endured this place?
…
The next night, Butcher Ma appeared again.
This time, perhaps unable to bear the stench clinging to my body, he dragged in a water hose.
He opened the door and, without saying a thing, immediately sprayed water onto me, capturing the whole scene on his phone.
Yes… a pig, that’s what I am.
Butchers using water hoses to wash pigs down just like this.
As I am now, stripped of all honor and self, I am nothing more than a pig bound for the knife.
Couldn’t he just kill me?
He sprayed me for at least ten minutes. Most of the grime and mud caked on my body was finally washed away.
While I seem no different from a pig, I still felt a shade better than before. At the very least, I was clean again.
As a human being… shouldn’t one at least be allowed the dignity of cleanliness?
I lay prone, powerless, awaiting Butcher Ma’s {indulgence}.
What a farce this life has become. My existence was no different from the pigs in his pen.
No… to be precise, keeping me alive cost less than raising a pig.
Three yuan a day was all it took to sustain me. A pig, however, wasn’t so cheap. A pig had to be fattened, kept plump and white, in order to fetch a good price.
But me? I required nothing at all.
As long as I still drew breath—as long as I remained a living woman—I was still of use to him.
When Butcher Ma pressed down on me, grunting, I summoned all my strength to speak, “I’ll agree to anything… please let me go…”
"Let ya go? That’s impossible..." he panted, his breath hot against me. "Least I gotta keep ya locked up a few years... ’til the cops quit lookin’ for ya, then maybe..."
A few years…? Did I mishear?
There are three hundred and sixty-five days in a year. I’ve only been here twenty days, and I already feel like I’m dying.
And I’m supposed to endure this for years?
“I’ll die…” My tears had long since run dry; only my choking voice remained. “If you leave me here… I’ll die… You said you wanted me as your woman—what if I die first…?”
“You’re already my woman!!” he barked, his voice rough and forceful. "If ya die, then so be it. But ‘fore ya do, you’re givin’ laozi a young’un. Bear me a boy, then you can go on an’ die."
The life I live now… is exactly as I pictured it as a child.
“I promise… I promise I’ll bear your child…” I wailed, “just… let me out…”
"Quit dreamin’! Once ya done given me a young’un, then I’ll take ya out!"
Watching him carry on with his vile act, a wave of despair engulfed me.
He truly meant to see me dead.
Slowly, I slipped my arms around his neck, forced my mouth wide open, and when he lost himself in lust, I sank my teeth into the artery of his throat.
I wanted to kill him.
But I had overestimated myself—I had no strength left.
All I managed was to hurt him, leaving a deep bite mark. My teeth felt loose, yet his throat remained unbroken.
Butcher Ma let out a howl as well, then stood and began raining blows and kicks down upon me.
I could feel clearly—his feet kept striking my abdomen, and I could do nothing to defend myself.
In such a defenseless state, my organs and bones would not escape harm.
They would hasten my death.