Chapter 68: Welcome to the Kindergarten of Destruction! (68) / 792 |
TL: Hanguk
PR: MiniPixelZ
Misfortune Revival Protocol.
I never thought I would actually use this.
[System Eok-Samchiri] had made it just in case, but never expected to actually use it.
The content of the Misfortune Revival Protocol was very simple.
Make the fading misfortune of Uren awaken by exposing it to strong luck.
In other words, it meant that Theo and Uren had to meet. Because Theo’s luck would strengthen Uren’s misfortune in order to gain even greater luck.
To do that, Theo had to be moved, but the one who could move Theo was Sejun.
But the horse the general is riding has too high of a status. To the point where no one could touch it.
[You have used the emergency rescue service.]
So [System Eok-Samchiri] used the coupon Uren had.
The disappearance of Uren’s misfortune was a universal emergency situation.
“Uhehe… Huh. What’s going on? I’m Luck King Uren now?”
Uren fell through a hole in the ground in confusion.
A moment later.
The sky of <Earth> opened and Piyot, Uren, Poyo, the gaurdian beasts, Golt (a subordinate of the God of Ruin), Forin, and Moelli all fell down together.
And then
Thud.
“Uhehehe. Sejun-nim, Theo-nim, hello.”
Uren landed safely without falling into a pit or crashing into the ground, making a cool superhero landing as he greeted them.
It seemed the flame of Uren’s misfortune had completely gone out, because even meeting Theo did not bring misfortune.
“Huh?! What did I just see?”
“Meow?! Did the great hybrid Chairman Park see that too, meow?!”
Sejun and Theo were shocked by what they saw.
No way…
Has the misfortune truly disappeared?
[System Eok-Samchiri] fell into despair.
What is the reason?
I must find out!
[System Eok-Samchiri] concentrated all its energy to find the cause of Uren’s vanished misfortune.
Meanwhile
“Uhehehe. Sejun-nim, do you have any leftover food?”
“There’s nothing left. Just wait a bit. It’ll be ready soon.”
Uren got a meal from Sejun.
[Conscientious pig Uren wishes to pay for the food and is requesting a quest.]
As if it were natural, Uren requested a quest from [System Eok-Samchiri].
Even if he couldn’t create gold, Uren was still rich. Even with his misfortune gone, his pushover nature seemed to remain.
“Your misfortune is gone? Congratulations.”
“Meow…it was profitable so it’s a shame meow….”
“Uhehehe. Now that my misfortune is gone, I’m planning to go back home.”
Because of his misfortune, Uren had never been able to stay in one place for long, but now he said he was going back to his family home. Not just a visit this time, but a full settlement. Uren’s long wanderings had finally come to an end.
Piyo!
[I’ll go with Uren nim and come back!]
Piyot, who had grown attached to Uren after traveling together for so long, decided to accompany him home, while the rest of the group remained at the Kindergarten of Destruction.
Everyone needed some time to think about their future journey.
Evening came, and Sejun’s party, the Children of Destruction, and Piyot’s remaining companions all shared a meal together.
“Mohehehe. Sejun-nim, can I lick you just once?”
Poyo, the sand fairy that feeds on misfortune, always scheming to feast on Sejun’s misfortune. Ever since Uren’s misfortune disappeared, she hadn’t tasted any delicious misfortune for days.
“Hiss! Stay away from Chairman Park, meow!”
Theo hissed at Poyo.
At that moment
Kkaong!
[Now’s my chance!]
Baektang, who had been aiming for Sejun’s lap, leaped with all his might. Baektang didn’t need to think about his future journey.
Claim Sejun-nim’s lap!
It had already been decided.
Baektang, the white leopard who didn’t know the meaning of giving up.
Thud!
Kkaong…
And so, Baektang was once again blocked by Theo’s iron defense and knocked out.
Nyongnyong…
Ppokppok…
Cheepcheepcheep…
The other gaurdian beasts looked after the unconscious Baektang and shook their heads in disbelief.
At that moment
“Alright. Just once.”
Sejun held out his hand to Poyo. Everyone else was eating, so Poyo should have her meal too.
“Mohehehe. Thank you, Sejun-nim!”
Poyo quickly licked Sejun’s palm.
“Mohehehe. Yes, this is the taste!”
Poyo cheered at the rich flavor of misfortune.
“Hehehe. I just came up with a great business idea.”
Sejun grinned slyly, watching Poyo.
“Meow?! What is it, meow?! I’m so curious about the great hybrid Chairman Park’s amazing business idea, meow!”
Theo asked Sejun with sparkling eyes.
“The business idea is ‘We Eat Your Misfortune.’ Poyo fills her belly with the customer’s misfortune, and we fill our pockets with the money we get from the customers. Hehehe. So, what do you think of my business idea?”
It was a business model where everyone won, win-win-win.
“Puhuhut. As expected, Chairman Park is a genius, meow!”
Theo praised Sejun at his words.
“Mohehehe. Then can I eat a lot of misfortune?”
“Of course! I’ll feed you till you burst!”
At the idea of feasting on misfortune, Poyo smiled brightly.
“Oh. We can set up a small shop inside Cuengi Cafe.”
Since Cuengi Cafe had a wide garden area where people could drink coffee even outside the building, there was plenty of space.
So they decided to open a small shop next to Cuengi Cafe starting tomorrow, with the shortened name [Bulmeok] for “We Eat Your Misfortune.”
The next day.
“Guys, let’s go.”
“Puhuhut. Sounds good, meow!”
Cueng!
Sejun left for work at Cuengi Cafe for the first time in a while, taking only Theo and Cuengi with him.
Then,
“Land Moving!”
Sejun moved the earth in a corner of the Cuengi Cafe garden to create a building. The reason for placing the shop in a corner out of plain sight was to give it a sense of mystery.
If it was too easy to find, the mystery would be lost.
Since the concept of eating misfortune bordered on superstition and was not easily accepted, such touches were necessary.
Additionally, to enhance the mysterious vibe, the building was shaped like a pyramid.
“Uhehehe. Poyo! Don’t lick there… uhehehe. Poyo, go inside for now.”
“Meow?”
“Yes!”
Poyo, who had been secretly licking Sejun’s neck, sensed Theo’s gaze and quickly ran into a small hole in the middle of the pyramid.
The pyramid had no entrance big enough for a person to enter, only a hole just large enough to insert a hand. This was to prevent people from seeing the sand fairy Poyo.
Once Poyo was inside,
“Poyo, wait there.”
“Mohehehe. Okay!”
Sejun had Poyo wait inside, then set up the front.
[Bulmeok]
-We remove your misfortune. Insert your palm to receive a Misfortune Diagnosis Card that tells you how much misfortune you have.
Large Misfortune: 1,000,000 won
Medium Misfortune: 300,000 won
Small Misfortune: 10,000 won
Tiny Misfortune: Free
Insert your hand along with the appropriate amount of money according to your misfortune, and your misfortune will disappear. (Card payments also accepted!)
-[Consultation Required]: Please speak to the shop owner.
Using the talent: Clay Molding, Sejun made a sign next to the pyramid explaining how to use the shop.
A little later.
At 10 a.m., when the shop opened, a long line of people started coming into the cafe as usual.
“Puhuhut. Humans, come on in, meow!”
Cueng!
Theo and Cuengi waved their front paws to greet the incoming guests.
“Wow! It’s Theo!”
“Cuengi came to work today!”
“Yes! Jackpot!”
The customers smiled brightly as they eagerly took pictures of the two.
Whirr.
Behind them, Sejun quietly kept blending watermelon juice.
After taking photos of Theo and Cuengi, the customers picked up their drinks and cakes and began exploring the cafe.
“Oh?! Mina! Heeseon! Look at this!”
“It says it removes misfortune?”
“Should we try it?”
Three female customers visiting the place for the first time discovered [Bulmeok].
“Should we?”
“Mina, you go first. You’re always tripping and losing money.”
“Yeah! E-Excuse me.”
So Mina carefully inserted her hand into the pyramid.
Oh! That smells so delicious!
Poyo drooled as she looked at Mina’s hand.
However, due to Sejun’s order to only eat misfortune after receiving payment, she couldn’t immediately eat Mina’s misfortune. Instead, she handed Mina one of the prepared cards, the Medium Misfortune card.
“What should I do? 300,000 won is a bit too much just for fun…”
As the sound of hesitation came from outside,
Should I have just eaten it?
Poyo began to waver. She wanted to rush out and lick up the misfortune right then.
At that moment,
“Excuse me, are you done?”
Two men approached and asked Mina.
They had come to Cuengi Cafe as YouTubers in search of content ideas, and when they spotted something new that hadn’t been there before, they rushed over.
“If you stick your hand in, it tells you how much misfortune you have? Should we bet on who has more?”
“What if the one with less misfortune pays for the one with more?”
“Deal!”
The two men filmed each other with their cameras, turning it into a provocative content piece with a wager.
Large Misfortune
Tiny Misfortune
“Oh! I won… but I lost?”
“Hehehe. Pay the million won.”
“You bastard, you planned this. Then again, no one’s unluckier than you. Everyone, this guy’s seriously unlucky. Every time he drives, he meets someone trying to pull an insurance scam at least once a month. If he tries to avoid that by taking a taxi, for some reason, none ever come. And when he takes public transportation, you know those public transit villains? There’s always one. I swear… Let me try and save this guy. Here.”
Still, the footage was turning out great.
The guy who drew the Tiny Misfortune card thought the content was solid and handed over his credit card without hesitation to the guy who drew the Large Misfortune card.
And then.
“Here I go!”
The man with Large Misfortune took the card and put his hand into the hole.
Then.
Mohehehe. Large Misfortune card, 1 million won.
Eok-Samchiri-nim, please process the payment.
Now that I received 1,000,000 won, thank you for the meal!
Poyo, having confirmed the money, grabbed the man’s hand and let go. She wanted to lick it, but Sejun said that if she licked the customers, they’d all run away, so she had no choice.
“Huh?! I think there’s someone inside! It grabbed my hand! Hello? Is it done now?”
“Your misfortune is gone.”
“Yes.”
A dignified voice from Poyo came through, and the man pulled his hand back.
“Did anything change?”
“Uh… I don’t think so?”
“Hey! My one million won just flew away, and nothing changed?!”
“Why are you getting mad at me? Hehehe. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Excuse me! Isn’t this a scam?!”
As the man who just lost a million won demanded an answer through the hole in the pyramid,
“Your misfortune is definitely gone.”
“Yes.”
At Poyo’s dignified voice, the agitated man’s anger immediately cooled.
Poyo might seem like she lacked presence when she was around Sejun’s group, but she was one of the Four Immortals, a being even Blackie couldn’t erase. A mere human couldn’t defy her.
“Ahhh. Why did I even suggest a betting?”
The man grumbled and turned off the camera.
“I just blew a million won, so now I have to eat only ramen.”
“Sigh. I’ve already been eating ramen for a week.”
“Please let this video go viral…”
The two quickly became dejected and sat at a nearby table, sipping their ordered drinks.
“What do we do… He spent a million won, and it didn’t even work.”
104.28.193.250
“Mina, good thing you didn’t put any money in.”
“Yeah…”
As Mina and her friends picked up their drinks and were about to move to another spot,
“Hey?! Sang-cheol! I think we got picked by the YouTube algorithm! Our views are skyrocketing!”
“Seriously?!”
The two men from earlier, who had been filming, suddenly shouted in excitement.
“Yeah! We’ve already gained 500 more subscribers!”
“Oh! Then we’ve passed 10K subscribers? We’re 10K-subscriber YouTubers now?!”
“That’s right. Hahaha. It’s all thanks to me. I gave you that one million… wait?! Then all our failures till now were your fault?!”
Watching those two men,
“Mina, maybe you should pay after all?”
“Heeseon, Mina already pulled out her card.”
Please, take away my misfortune!
Mina inserted her tightly gripped card-holding hand into the pyramid’s hole.
Mohehehe. This one’s kind of light, but I’ll still enjoy it!
As Poyo happily devoured the misfortune,
Kihihit. Kking!
[Hehe! Don’t play around there! Hurry up and work the sweet potato field of the great manager Blackie!]
Blackie was bossing around his subordinates, the gaurdian beasts, and three of the Four Heavenly Kings of the God of Ruin Ditto, Golden Typhoon Golt, Black Wave Forin, and Purple Lightning Moelli, expanding the sweet potato farm on the 3rd floor of the 10th Tower.