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Chapter 468: Smith Family Group Chat

[Play: Languor by Cosmograph]

> John has added His_Jade_Emperor added to the chat.
> His_Jade_Emperor's nickname has been changed to Yudi.
> John has added Yue to the chat.
> John has added Alpha Smith to the chat.

> Alpha Smith has changed her nickname to Alphy.

> Beta Smith has joined the chat.
> Beta Smith has changed her nickname to Betty.
> Betty has added NotMeggieSmith to the chat.
> NotMeggieSmith's nickname has been changed to Meggie.

> John has added DepressedIsekaiHero to the chat.

> DepressedIsekaiHero has changed his nickname to Gray.
> Gray has added Eliza Smith to the chat.
> Gray has added Her Imperial_Elven_Queen_Luminance to the chat.
> Her_Imperial_Elven_Queen_Luminance has changed her nickname to Lumi.
> Eliza Smith has changed her nickname to Liz.
> Liz has added Al Smith to the chat.
> Al Smith has changed his nickname to Al.

> Alphy has added RaceQueenAsako-chan to the chat.
> RaceQueenAsako-chan has changed her nickname to Aoko.

> Yue has added Amadeus_Smith to the chat.
> Yue has added Titor_Smith to the chat.
> Amadeus_Smith has changed her nickname to Ama-chan.
> Titor_Smith has changed his nickname to MaddoScientist.
> MaddoScientist's nickname has been changed to Titor.
> Titor's privileges have been limited to basic user.

> John: @everyone Recent events involving a certain preteen has made me realize we don't have a family chat. So here we go.

> Meggie: Not me.

> Betty: Dear sister, it is ALWAYS you...

> Alphy: Don't worry, Meggie! You wanted life counseling, so now you get everyone's advice!

> Meggie: ...kill me.

> Yue: No. Now what is the situation, Daughter?

> Yudi: Yes, Granddaughter. What tidings are so pressing that we are all required?

> Meggie has left the chat.
> John has added Meggie to the chat.
> John: No running.
> Meggie: Aaaaahhhhh.

> Gray: Well. I'm happy to be included...?
> Al: Cousin! Did something happen?!
> Liz: Oh dear. @Gray Husband, I didn't know your family was so large.
> Lumi: @Gray Hubby! Warn me before you drag me somewhere! I keep telling you this!
> Gray: @Lumi Sorry, Lumi.

> DarkBeauty_Xuannu has joined the chat.
> SeniorSister_Zhaojun has joined the chat.
> FoxQueen_Daji has joined the chat.
> DarkBeauty_Xuannu has changed her nickname to Xuannu.
> SeniorSister_Zhaojun has changed her nickname to Zhaojun.
> FoxQueen_Daji has changed her nickname to Daji.

> Xuannu: Yue sent us the link. So this is the family chat, hm~?
> Zhaojun: @John Senior Brother... your family has grown so large... (T_T)
> Daji: @John Onii-chan~ Why didn't you add us first?

> John has added Little Wu to the chat.
> John has added Little Xuan to the chat.

> Little Wu: Wah! Sister, sister! There are so many family members!
> Little Xuan: Yes, yes! We're not alone anymore! And we can talk with everyone!

> John: @everyone Okay, I think that's everyone, right? I'm not missing anyone?

> Jenny Smith has joined the chat.
> Jenny Smith has changed her nickname to Jenny.
> Jenny: Seriously? Five different people texted me that my big bro didn't add me to the family chat. Glad to see how appreciated I am...
> John: @Jenny OH MY GOD. I'M SO SORRY JENNY!
> Jenny: @John Apology not accepted, Onii-chan...

> Asako: Wait, wait. This is the Smith family group chat. Why am I here?
> Alphy: @Asako That's because you're family now, Asako! My family!
> Asako: !@#$@#@!
> Meggie: *gag* Really? Flirting here?
> Betty: My, my.
> Yue: @Asako Congratulations. We'll discuss the bride price later.
> Yudi: I have seen this one's racing videos. I approve.
> John: Racing videos?
> Yudi: Indeed! See here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyppMe5-j7Y
> John: ...Father-in-law. That is a different person.
> Yudi: What? But it is an animated race girl. Are they not the same?
> Yue: Oh, Father...

> Titor: El, psy, congroo. So this is the choice of st-
> Titor has been put on timeout.
> Ama-chan: @Titor Hubby. Please, stop... This is on main.
> Titor's timeout has been reset.
> Titor: ...Got it, Sweetie.
> Ama-chan: @John So what's the deal with the group chat?

> John: @everyone We're all really busy and doing our own things. So I figured I'd add everyone here so we have each other's contact. Also in case a big family event is coming up.
> Yue: Yes. It's as my husband says. And speaking of big family events... @Meggie. What is this I hear from your father about you having two lovers already at such a young age?
> Betty: 🍿
> Alphy: O.o
> Alphy: XD
> Alphy: :p
> Asako: WHAT?
> Yudi: WHO DARES COURT MY GRANDDAUGHTER?!
> Meggie: IT'S NOT LIKE THAT! OH MY GOD!
> Meggie: THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS!
> Meggie: WHO LIKE ME A LITTLE!

> Al: ...It didn't seem that way to me...
> Gray: @Al Son. Timing...
> Liz: @Al Sweetie... you're making things worse...
> Lumi: @Al Child. Know when to shut your mouth...
> Al: Huh? What'd I say?
> Meggie: @Al YOU. WATCH WHERE YOU SLEEP TONIGHT.
> Al: ???

> Xuannu: My, my... is my niece finally grown up?
> Zhaojun: @Meggie Meggie, you should not be entangling with men at such a delicate age...
> Daji: Zhaozhao, you don't need to @ her and say her name...
> Zhaojun: A-Ah. Apologies...
> Meggie: They're both girls, okay! I know better than to get involved with boys!
> Meggie has attempted to delete her previous message.
> Meggie lacks the required privileges.
> Meggie: !@#$#$@$@# DAAAAAAD! WHY?!

> John: @everyone As you can see, this is the current situation.
> Meggie: I hate you, Dad.
> John: @Meggie You'll cry, you're gonna cry, you always cry, see, you're crying.
> Gray: ...I see you got worse after I left, little bro. A FFX reference? Really?
> Titor: So that's the choice of Stein's- I mean, Einstein's Portal.
> Meggie: ...You're all bullies. I hate it.

> Yudi: Ah. So my granddaughter has collected blossoming beauties instead of righteous heroes. I approve.
> Meggie: GRANDPA?! WHAT?!
> Yudi: Hm? A garden of beauties is acceptable for my granddaughter. But a collection of heroes... absolutely not.
> Meggie: !@#!@$!@$!@ WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING?!

> Lumi: @Gray Husband. Your family is... interesting.
> Liz: @Lumi It's our family now, Lulu. For better or worse...
> Gray: I didn't think it was this bad...

> Little Xuan: Wow, wow! So big sis Meggie is getting married?
> Little Wu: Amazing! She's young and already has life partners!
> Meggie: I don't! Stop! And that's NOT a good thing, you two! You're still kids, don't look for partners! Say no to strangers!
> Asako: Yes. Listen to your big sister Meggie on that.
> Jenny: ...I'm too busy to deal with this. Muting chat.

> Meggie: @everyone LOOK.
> Meggie: I'M DOING FINE
> Meggie: I'M NOT DATING ANYONE (yet)
> Meggie: IF I do, I'll ask for advice (maybe)
> Meggie: BUT CAN WE PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUT ME?!
> Meggie: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

> Ama-chan: Okay, Meggie. Then... @everyone I've been having bleeding problems since the baby. Any tips?
> Xuannu: I have some tea that could help with that, but are you breastfeeding?
> Ama-chan: Yes... Tina hates bottles, so I have to.
> Xuannu: Ah, that's no good then. They'll make your milk toxic for infants.
> Yue: I have some ointments I can give you, Ama-chan. They helped. They should be safe too.
> Daji: Do you use pads? I have a good brand for that.

> Meggie: Oh MY GOD! That is NOT what I meant not talking about me!

> Alphy: Hypothetically, would everyone be free for a summer wedding, or would winter be better?
> Asako: ALPHY! WE HAVEN'T EVEN DECIDED YET IF WE'RE GOING TO!
> Alphy: T_T Do you not want me...?
> Yue: ...You learned too much from me, Alphy...
> Alphy: XD Only learn from the best, Mommy~
> Yue: ...I have mixed feelings on this.
> Zhaojun: What have you been teaching my niece?!
> Alphy: Mou~ It's fine, Auntie! I'm just guilt tripping my Asako~
> Asako: I KNEW IT!
> Alphy: Please~? pien
> Asako: ...Dammit

> Meggie: ...I get why people hate family group chats now...

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