Chapter 426: Texts and interventions |
Meggie's text on the screen didn't flash or anything.
But for some reason, staring at it John felt all the alarm bells ringing in his head. Like if he handled it poorly, something terrible was going to happen.
Not in the dangerous way. There really wasn't anything on this world or really even universe that could hurt Meggie. But in the 'oh my god life is going to become a LOT more troublesome' dangerous.
So John quickly typed a message back.
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[John]
Okay, first of all, faceslapping is bad. Second of all, you're already the equivalent of a young master or clan heiress, so you don't need to handle anything, let your mom settle it. Third of all, please don't cause a fight at the school...
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[Meggie]
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John rubbed the bridge of his nose and then sat down on the couch. This wasn't something he could handle standing up, that was for sure...
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[John]
First of all, you should do as I say, not as I did. I'm saying to not do it because it just makes an infinite headache unless you deadify literally ten generations of people. And you are NOT doing that here, young lady.
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[Meggie]
:eyeroll: Of course not, Dad. Everyone here is too squishy anyway. But why can't I like... Slap them around a bit? Especially if they slap me first?
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John paused, considering that. Then he slowly nodded and texted back.
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[John]
If they slap you first, then slap them back and ruin them for three generations. Financially and reputationally, of course. We can't go around Minecraf- I mean, Meincrafting people. I mean, we CAN, but we shouldn't.
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[Meggie]
Well, DUH. But okay, so if they slap me first, I can do whatever?
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John carefully stared at the message and then replied.
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[John]
...Only if you ask your mother first.
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[Meggie]
You're the best, Dad! Love you! ^_^
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John stared at Meggie's last message and felt a drop of sweat sliding down his forehead. He wiped it off and muttered, "That won't cause a problem, right? Yue wouldn't let Meggie fly off the handle, would she?"
Yue was a reasonable person after all. And she wouldn't let Meggie do something that would ruin the peaceful school atmosphere... Would she?
John paused to think about that.
His lovely wife was a mostly calm and rational person...
But come to think of it, John clearly remembered her recently not being so calm and rational. After all, she DID recklessly chase after John and cause that giant fiasco before Aurora was born.
Then again, she HAD been super hormonal and was experiencing all the moodswings and cravings that a normal pregnant woman should have... Moodswings and cravings that she was never prepared for or expected to have. Heck, the whole being pregnant part wasn't really expected either.
But Yue gave birth, and it was a few months so John felt like she should be her usual rational self, right?...Ah, but then Yue seemed to be even more clingy and family-oriented since Aurora was born, so...
John groaned. "Oh, this is not going to end well, is it?"
If someone really DID slap Meggie, then odds were high- No, it was pretty much guaranteed that Yue would be pissed. In the past, Yue probably would have let Meggie handle it, but Yue had definitely gone full mama bear after Aurora was born. And she DEFINITELY put Meggie in the same group as her precious baby girl Aurora.
John quickly typed a text to Yue.
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[John]
Hey Wifey. Don't meddle with Meggie's business, okay? Let the kids deal with the kid stuff until they cross the line.
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[Yue]
...I wasn't going to. >.>
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[John]
...You totally were, weren't you?
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[Yue]
Hmph. W-Well, that girl would have deserved it! Trying to slap my Meggie like that... I should ruin her family!
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[John]
Wifey, no.
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[Yue]
...Fine. I will... leave it be. For now.
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[John]
That's all I'm asking, Wifey. And I'll step in if things get bad, okay? Trust me on this at least.
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[Yue]
I always trust you, Husband~ Especially in bed~
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[John]
Are you... that pent up?
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[Yue]
T_T What do you think, Husband? I got so used to waking up in your arms... I can barely live without your touch...
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John started to sweat and then he wrote a quick reply.
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[John]
I'll get the kids or my sisters to watch Rory soon then and we can go away for a bit. Just you and me, okay? But uh... try to stay calm?
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[Yue]
Very well... But I want cuddles tonight. Love you, Husband.
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[John]
Love you too, Wifey.
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A soft ding echoed from John's phone, and then a short video of Yue blowing a kiss into the camera from her desk at the school loaded.
John chuckled and sent a quick video of him blowing a kiss back before tucking his phone away.
Alright. Immediate dangers averted.
John wouldn't have to worry about Hoshigawa Academy making headlines for a student riot or something equally ridiculous anytime soon....Probably.
There were good betting odds that it would be fine, at least.
John was sure of that much... But still. "Life is never ordinary with our family, huh?"
That was mostly a given. After all, while the Smith family was on paper just a very wealthy family... there was that whole elephant in the room about technically being aliens to Earth. And superhuman aliens who were literal goddesses and god among men. Like, far, far, far beyond a certain man of steel level too...
But setting that aside, John noticed something odd too. He'd been getting the feeling for a while now, but after meeting Gray, he was starting to wonder. Were his blood-related relatives walking fiction protagonists? At least, in terms of how life keeps unfolding for them.
For example, Alphy was definitely living the loveydovey yuri romcom life with Asako. Betty was running the office lady romcom lifestyle and probably had a cute subordinate or something... And now Meggie seemed like she was about to get roped into some Shoujo-style school drama... probably as a result of a love triangle genre or something. Heck, even Tsuki had suddenly done a heel-faced turn into being like a rival or frenemy...
John frowned and steepled his fingers together, thinking. "...Hm. Come to think of it..."
Gray had been an isekai MC too. That much was clear from the fact that he definitely had a beautiful non-human wife.
Not to mention that John had lived the literal cliche transmigrated into a Wuxia world trope.
John paused and glanced towards Aurora's nursery where she was fast asleep. "...You won't cause Papa any headaches when you grow up, will you?"
Aurora was just a cute little baby girl. And while curious, she definitely wasn't going to cause any trouble, right?
John paused, suddenly remembering the fiasco around her birth. Then he let out a deep sigh. "Note to self. Keep close tabs on Rory. Especially any stories she seems to be interested in..."
Hopefully if the pattern held true, Aurora would at least just be something tame, like a reverse-harem princess type of story...
A sudden thought crossed John's mind. Then he said, "Thank heavens I don't have a son at least."
The poor kid would be born into the worst setting ever. Nothing but extraordinarily beautiful big sisters, aunts, and plenty of pretty Onee-chans in the form of all the girls at Project MirAI...
It was literally the setup to every crappy doujin ever. Or harem anime.
John quickly knocked on the table and said, "Let's not jinx it. Hear that fate? I knocked on wood, so you can't do it. No jinxing, no tempting fate. Got it? I'll literally go Kratos on you and kill you if you do. Just warning you ahead of time."
There was a tangible silence. And then something intangible eased up, with a faint sensation that sounded like a reluctant sigh.
John nodded. "Appreciate it."
This Earth might not have any gods or transcendent beings around... other than the Administrator who was literally gatekeeping. But anyway, it might not have any higher powers, but Murphy's Law and the Rule of Funny still trumped everything.
It seemed like John had successfully bargained with them this time though.
...Hm. Speaking of that Administrator, John should try and message him some time. Maybe he could cut a deal to visit Earth properly using the IDOL bodies like he talked about with Gray...
But that was for later.