Chapter 86: Two Imbeciles
Li Daoxuan settled in front of the Diorama Box, the modified Solar Car resting in his hands.
It was still early morning, and the miniature inhabitants of the box were just stirring awake.
Now Li Daoxuan no longer needed to put his phone inside to play the "Seventh Set of Radio Calisthenics." The children had memorized the entire routine and recited it together in unison: "Section one, stretching exercises... 1, 2, 3, 4..."
While the children began their morning exercises, the Labor Reform prisoners, having finished their breakfast, also started their work.
After several days of diligent labor from these prisoners, many rooms in the village now boasted wooden doors and window frames.
The doors were properly installed, but the windows remained unpapered. Gao Family Village still lacked the means to produce paper, so each window was merely an empty frame.
Li Daoxuan searched the village for a while before finding Gao Yiye. Today, she wasn't wearing her usual dignified white robe, but a simple cotton outfit. She greeted everyone with a beaming smile, saying, "Look, I wove and cut this cotton dress myself! Doesn't it look good? My tailoring skills are almost as good as Madam Gao San's now."
The villagers shook their heads, a mixture of amusement and exasperation on their faces. "Saintess, if you do this... the Heavenly Lord, he..."
Gao Yiye pouted, "The Heavenly Lord himself gave the divine decree, allowing me to do it."
Li Daoxuan, in a good mood, called out softly, "Yiye, Yiye!"
Gao Yiye's head snapped up. "Ah, Heavenly Lord, you've arrived! What are your commands?"
At her words, the nearby villagers immediately stood at attention, their eyes gleaming with fervent devotion as they gazed up at the sky.
Li Daoxuan declared, "I have a vehicle here. It requires two brave, sturdy, and fearless individuals to drive it."
The moment he spoke, the choice was obvious.
The crowd roared in unison, "Gao Chuwu, Zheng Daniu! The Heavenly Lord summons you both for an audience!"
The two simple-minded men quickly dropped their work and eagerly scampered to Gao Yiye's side, looking up expectantly. "Heavenly Lord, what do you wish for us to do?"
Li Daoxuan instructed, "Leave the village and stand on the open ground outside."
Everyone quickly obeyed, rushing to the open field outside the village. San Shier also came to watch the excitement, and a large number of male and female villagers, excluding the children who were still in school, were all present. Even the Labor Reform prisoners on the hillside couldn't resist stopping their work to turn and watch from afar.
Only then did Li Daoxuan slowly lower the Solar Car from his hands.
The villagers craned their necks, watching a peculiar contraption descend from the sky. With just a glance at its four wheels, they could tell it was a vehicle, yet it was utterly bizarre—nothing like a horse-drawn cart. It even had a strange cloth canopy on top.
And it was enormous: two *zhang* long (6 meters), nearly two *zhang* wide (5 meters), and one *zhang* high (3 meters).
Li Daoxuan said in a deep voice, "Gao Chuwu, Zheng Daniu, have either of you ever driven a vehicle?"
Both men shook their heads simultaneously.
"Have you ever guided a plow then?"
Both men nodded in unison.
"Good, guiding a plow is enough. At least you'll have some concept of turning left and right."
Li Daoxuan pointed to the front of the Solar Car, to the control bar that resembled the handles of a walking tractor. "Imagine that thing is a plow. Turning left and right, do you understand?"
Gao Chuwu grinned, his mouth wide. "Understood at first glance! Haha, I'm so smart!"
The crowd gasped, drawing a sharp breath. *You can't truly mean that, can you?*
Li Daoxuan continued, "Alright, in a moment, you'll be in charge of steering. Zheng Daniu, do you see that strange fabric on the vehicle?"
Zheng Daniu affirmed, "I see it!"
Li Daoxuan explained, "Soon, you'll pull that fabric curtain open, and the vehicle will move forward. Pull the curtain back, and the vehicle will stop."
Zheng Daniu beamed, "Open to go, close to stop! I understand! Hahahaha, I'm smart too!"
Once again, the crowd collectively gasped. *You actually think you're smart too?*
Li Daoxuan concluded, "Alright, get on. The two of you, working together, try to get this vehicle moving."
Under the watchful eyes of the crowd, the two simple-minded men climbed aboard the Solar Car.
The vehicle itself stood a full *zhang* tall (a towering three meters in their world, though merely 1.5 centimeters in his own). The two simple-minded men struggled to clamber up from the edge of the tires; anyone less athletic wouldn't have managed to ascend such a tall machine.
Li Daoxuan thought to himself, *It seems I didn't think this through. I need to add a ladder for getting on and off. Cai Xinzhi will think I'm on hallucinogens again.*
No sooner had they climbed aboard than Zheng Daniu, before Gao Chuwu had even taken his place at the steering mechanism, walked to the edge of the curtain, chuckled, and pulled the sunshade curtain all the way open.
The solar panels activated at full power.
Instantly, the vehicle hummed with electricity and rumbled forward.
While in the real world this vehicle moved incredibly slowly, only covering a few dozen centimeters per second even with full solar power, in the Ming Dynasty box, it now rocketed forward at nearly 100 kilometers per hour after being scaled up 200 times.
Gao Chuwu and Zheng Daniu, caught completely off guard, had no time to react as the vehicle accelerated to 100 kilometers per hour in moments. The two simple-minded men tumbled simultaneously, and the car hurtled straight towards the Labor Reform prisoners' "colorful Lego prison walls."
"Whoa! So fast, so fast!" Zheng Daniu bellowed. "Chuwu, quick, steer it! We're going to crash!"
Gao Chuwu, sprawling on the vehicle, dared not move. "Whoa, I can't get up! I can't reach it now! You quickly close the curtain!"
Zheng Daniu, also sprawled on the vehicle, cried, "I've fallen! I can't get up! I can't close the curtain now!"
Gao Chuwu shrieked, "Waaaaah, we're going to crash!"
Zheng Daniu screamed, "Aaaaah, we're going to die!"
The villagers collectively clapped their hands over their ears.
Just as the Solar Car was about to smash into the Lego bricks, Li Daoxuan reached down, plucked the vehicle, and lifted it, its four wheels dangling in the air.
The car hovered mid-air, only its wheels still spinning.
With that, Gao Chuwu and Zheng Daniu finally managed to scramble to their feet.
The two first thanked the Heavenly Lord for their rescue, then Zheng Daniu pulled the curtain closed, and the wheels ceased their rotation.
Gao Chuwu's eyes widened. "Daniu, you idiot! You're only supposed to open the curtain once I'm at the steering plow!"
Zheng Daniu retorted, "How was I supposed to know you, you idiot, were so slow?"
Gao Chuwu shot back, "You're the idiot, period!"
Zheng Daniu yelled, "No, you're the idiot!"
"Alright, stop bickering."
Li Daoxuan gently placed the vehicle back on the ground. "Zheng Daniu, when you open the curtain, do it slowly. Don't pull it all the way back in one go. Open it gradually, and the vehicle will accelerate slowly, allowing you to control it. This vehicle is controlled by light: the more light, the faster it goes; no light, and it stops. Understand?"
Zheng Daniu nodded. "I understand."
"Good, try again."
Li Daoxuan withdrew his hand.
Gao Chuwu gripped the "steering plow" with both hands. Zheng Daniu, slowly, carefully, lifted the sunshade curtain just a crack...
The vehicle rumbled forward once more, this time its speed held steady at around 60 kilometers per hour.
Gao Chuwu burst out laughing. "Watch me turn left!"
He yanked the steering mechanism sharply to the left. He turned too abruptly, and the little car screeched, then performed a spectacular side-flip. The two simple-minded men screamed in unison, "Aaaaah, we're going to die!"
The onlookers instantly covered their eyes.
Li Daoxuan had no choice but to reach in and steady the vehicle again, an amused exasperation in his voice as he half-laughed, half-scolded, "You two imbeciles!"
Gao Yiye immediately announced, "Heavenly Lord's divine decree: Two imbeciles!"
The entire village loudly repeated, "Two imbeciles!"
Then, they all burst into laughter.
Comments