Chapter 762: The Grass Sledding Project
The two thousand soldiers led by Zheng Gouzi and Padi Tu set up camp at the Medicine King Temple on Tianzhu Mountain.
The Daoist priests at the Medicine King Temple often received generous gifts from the Luo family, so as soon as they heard it was the Luo family's request, they immediately offered the temple's front and back courtyards without hesitation for the soldiers to pitch their tents.
At first, the Daoist priests had been somewhat concerned about "the poor discipline of government troops," but they soon discovered that this group was not government troops at all, but the personal guards of some powerful lord.
Their discipline was impeccable; they undertook no actions that disturbed the common folk.
With that, a great weight was lifted from their minds.
The Daoist priests grew curious about this group's "lord."
Their lord, the mass-produced third Heavenly Lord avatar, stood at the edge of the cliff in front of the Medicine King Temple, gazing down at the chasm below...
"The scenery of this mountain is truly beautiful," Li Daoxuan remarked, a hint of delight in his voice. "Indeed, natural landscapes can't be faked. Those deceptive scenic areas in later generations mostly rely on cultural attractions."
Li Daoxuan had been thoroughly disillusioned by historical and cultural sites like Dragon Gate Ferry, Yongji Ferry, Fengling Ferry, and Puzhou City. He had originally given up all hope of 'traveling in the box.'
A Daoist priest approached from behind, performing a hand salute. "Boundless Longevity and Fortune! Mr. Li, you have traveled far to assist our Shanyang County in resisting bandits. This humble Daoist is deeply grateful, however... our small temple doesn't have much grain. If you encamp here, I fear for your supplies..."
Li Daoxuan immediately understood that the man was worried the militia would seize their possessions.
He couldn't help but chuckle. "Grain is a minor issue. Our logistics unit will arrive shortly. You just need to lend us a courtyard to store our supplies."
The Daoist priest blinked. "Eh?"
Li Daoxuan looked left and right, then spotted a large slope ahead, angled at least sixty degrees, covered in beautiful turf. He couldn't help but exclaim, "If it were up to me, I'd set up a grass sledding attraction here, charge a hundred yuan per ride, and make a fortune!"
"Grass sledding?" the Daoist priest echoed, bewildered.
"You wouldn't understand if I explained it," Li Daoxuan waved dismissively. "Never mind, I'll just go play by myself. Do you have any cowhide mats or anything similar here? Lend me one."
"We do!" the Daoist priest affirmed.
He returned to the building and soon emerged with a large, stiff cowhide mat.
These cowhide mats were excellent for sleeping on in summer, providing superior coolness. Their only drawback was that if one slept on them for too long, a large, flattened imprint would appear on their face.
Li Daoxuan laid the cowhide mat on the grassy slope and sat down on it.
Only then did the Daoist priest finally understand what he was about to do, and he gasped in alarm. "Mr. Li, you mustn't! This slope is too steep and too long. Sliding down is extremely dangerous; you could easily hit the rocks at the bottom of the mountain and be severely injured."
Li Daoxuan, however, paid no heed. With a backward push against the ground, the cowhide mat swooshed down the sixty-degree incline of the slope.
The Daoist priest was terrified. He shouted, "Quick, everyone! Mr. Li is sliding down the mountain! It's too dangerous!"
At his cry, the militia soldiers rushed forward, crowding the edge of the steep slope to watch.
They watched as Li Daoxuan, seated on the cowhide mat, careened wildly down the grassy incline.
The slope was indeed quite steep—even modern grass sledding attractions wouldn't dare use such an angle. Li Daoxuan went faster and faster, picking up alarming speed...
The sight made the Daoist priest break out in a cold sweat.
The militia soldiers, however, burst into laughter. "Oh, Heavenly Lord, this looks like so much fun!"
"Only the Heavenly Lord can play like this," one soldier exclaimed. "We can't. If we slid down like that, we'd die."
The Heavenly Lord, meanwhile, was clearly having a blast, his joyous laughter echoing out, bouncing off the opposite peaks, and reverberating through the valley.
Soon, he reached the bottom of the grassy slope. His speed was too great for him to brake, and at the very end of the slope stood a massive boulder.
With a deafening crash, Li Daoxuan slammed directly into the stone.
Seeing this, the Daoist priest knew it was over. Mr. Li must have been killed instantly.
However, he immediately realized his error.
To his astonishment, Mr. Li had actually smashed a huge, "big"-shaped (the Chinese character for ‘big’) indentation into the large boulder. He pushed himself out of the hollow with both hands, laughing, "So, Tom and Jerry was a documentary, not a cartoon! You really can crash into a person-shaped dent. "
"*Thump!*"
His left arm fell off...
It turned out the impact had been too forceful, damaging the mechanisms of his arm joint.
Li Daoxuan picked up his detached left arm with his right hand, tucking it under his armpit. "Oh dear, broken again," he muttered. "Have to go back and reattach it."
The Daoist priest sputtered, "Pfft! This... this... what incredible divine power is this?!"
"The silicone outer layer is damaged too," Li Daoxuan said. "Good thing I brought spares."
He wrapped himself in his cloak and slowly climbed back up the slope. He then squeezed into his large carriage, followed by several militia soldiers who retrieved spare parts and helped him reattach his arm joint. They also produced spare silicone outer layers and swiftly replaced his exterior.
Before long, Li Daoxuan hopped out of the carriage, looking as dashing as he had before the grass sledding. He smiled at the soldiers. "See, that's the advantage of standardized production: parts can be replaced at any time."
The soldiers wore peculiar expressions. "Yes, yes, the Heavenly Lord is right," they said. "But we only brought three sets of spare parts, and you've already broken one. Please try to be more economical with your play in the future."
Li Daoxuan walked over to the Daoist priest, still smiling. "Fun, isn't it? This Tianzhu Mountain scenic area is truly enjoyable."
The Daoist priest was practically radiating exclamation marks, at a loss for words.
After a long pause, the Daoist priest finally managed to stammer out, "Mr. Li, are you here to suppress bandits, or to play?"
"We must suppress bandits, and we must also play," Li Daoxuan declared. "We must grasp both firmly, making both hands strong! And incidentally... I also want to lead the local people here to prosperity. Hmm, let's first check on the living conditions of the common folk around Tianzhu Mountain. Someone, launch a reconnaissance hot air balloon!"
"Coming!" Zheng Gouzi shot out, springing to attention.
This time, the militia no longer had to hastily construct reconnaissance hot air balloons on the spot. Instead, a large number of them had been prepared before their departure and transported as vital military supplies.
Zheng Gouzi, with utmost speed, launched a reconnaissance hot air balloon.
The Daoist priest wore a blank expression, completely baffled by what was happening.
But after the reconnaissance hot air balloon ascended into the sky, the Mr. Li before him closed his eyes and became motionless...
After a few seconds, he suddenly snapped his eyes open, pointed a finger diagonally forward, and declared, "In that direction, about a li distant at the base of the mountain, there’s a poor village with a population of around fifty. Note it down; later, send a poverty alleviation team there."
"Understood!" Zheng Gouzi responded.
Li Daoxuan then pointed his other hand toward a different direction. "At the base of the mountain in *this* direction, there’s a large village with over four hundred people. It appears there’s also a local gentry family living there. Go to the village later and investigate their conduct. If they’re good, offer them assistance. If they’re not, beat them into submission before offering assistance."
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