Chapter 76: So Embarrassing!
Stretching exercises... One, two, three, four... Two, two, three, four...
Today, the children's movements were finally keeping pace with the visuals. They swung their arms, kicked their legs, their little faces flushed red.
Mister Wang, watching the children do their calisthenics, found himself inexplicably caught up in the mood. He mused: "My constitution has always been weak. Firstly, I haven't had a proper meal in years, and secondly, I spent my youth buried in books, neglecting physical exercise. My limbs are sluggish; I lack the strength to even bind a chicken."
"Now that I'm eating well, perhaps I should get some exercise."
"How about I join the children for a bit?"
He subtly shifted his feet, positioning himself behind the children so he wouldn't feel embarrassed if they saw him. He started swinging his arms along with them, shaking his hands and feet, taking deep breaths, singing and dancing like the children: "I won't grow old..."
The broadcast calisthenics boomed loudly, radiating from the watchtower across the entire Gao Family Village. Villagers gradually awoke, and some instinctively joined in the exercises. After all, the Heavenly Lord had initiated it, so it must be a divine exercise. There could be no harm in following along.
Seeing this scene, Li Daoxuan was reminded of his own school days. Wait, thinking about school days... something else was coming to mind...
Nutritious breakfast: a bottle of milk for every child.
Wait!
Most people in this era were lactose intolerant. Drinking milk could easily lead to diarrhea. For those with poor health, a bout of diarrhea could easily lead to a funeral feast. If that was true for modern people, how much more so for these late-Ming folk who had never tasted milk before.
Li Daoxuan walked to the cabinet and pulled out a packet of goat milk powder. He checked the expiration date; good, still fresh.
He mixed a large cup for himself, adding two spoonfuls of sugar. Then, from his own large cup, he scooped out a tiny spoonful, placed it in a mineral water bottle cap, and slowly set it before Gao Yiye: "Gao Yiye, this is goat milk. Have San Shier organize its distribution to everyone. Each person gets one bamboo cupful..."
Before long, a delightful scene unfolded beneath the watchtower.
Over a hundred people from Gao Family Village, carrying all sorts of bottles and jars, formed a long queue to get their milk. It was strikingly reminiscent of the early days of economic reform in modern China, when people would line up with milk coupons outside supply and marketing cooperatives to get their milk.
San Shier's retainer was in charge of dispensing the milk. He held a bamboo cup and dipped it into the 'great milk basin' — the transformed mineral water bottle cap. He scooped out a bamboo cupful and poured it into the jar that Gao San Niang held out.
Gao San Niang lifted her jar, took a sip, and immediately closed her eyes, a look of utter bliss on her face: "Ah... goat milk... I've heard of this since childhood, but never tasted it. This is the first time I've ever had anything so wonderful."
San Shier playfully chided: "Once you've got your milk, move along. Don't block the queue."
Gao San Niang protested: "That last bamboo cup was for me. I still need one for my son! Come on, give me another."
"Your son is only half a person, so half a cup."
"That won't do!" Gao Yiye just said the Heavenly Lord's order was one cup for everyone. "My son, though small, is still a person. You can't cut his share in half."
San Shier burst into laughter: "Well, well, Gao San Niang, you can't even read, yet you've mastered twisting words! Alright, here's another cup for you. Next!"
The sounds of joyous chatter echoed beneath the watchtower.
Once everyone had received their milk, Gao Yiye and San Shier, the two administrators, were exhausted.
Gao Yiye, however, remained standing.
San Shier, meanwhile, settled onto the steps beneath the watchtower. He helped himself to a bamboo cupful of milk, gulping down half of it. He chuckled, saying: "As expected of goat milk from the immortal realm! The gamey taste is far milder than our mortal goat milk, and it's even sweetened! Ah, this is truly wonderful stuff... If this were offered as tribute to His Majesty, he'd probably refuse to drink deer milk ever again... Heh heh... What virtue do I, San Shier, possess to be eating better than the Emperor himself? Hahahaha."
Li Daoxuan found this amusing. He reached out and grabbed a small pinch of goat milk powder, placing it before San Shier.
This sudden appearance of a small white mound startled San Shier. But he quickly recovered: "Ah, the Heavenly Lord has blessed us with flour again!"
"It's not flour," Gao Yiye clarified. "The Heavenly Lord says this is called milk powder. If you put it in water, add a little sugar, and stir, it will become the same goat milk you just drank."
"What?" San Shier exclaimed, greatly astonished. "There's such a convenient divine substance?"
Gao Yiye relayed: "The Heavenly Lord says you're quite ignorant. Milk powder, you see, was invented by the Mongols as far back as the Yuan Dynasty. You, who fancy yourself a man of vast knowledge, didn't even know this?"
San Shier quickly bowed deeply: "My humble knowledge, before the venerable Heavenly Lord, is truly like comparing a firefly to the brilliant moon."
Gao Yiye continued: "The Heavenly Lord says these milk powders are entrusted to you. From now on, every morning, you are to mix it into goat milk and distribute one bamboo cupful to each villager."
San Shier declared: "As you command!"
After assenting, San Shier's face showed a troubled expression: "Um... Miss Yiye, I have something I wish to report to the Heavenly Lord."
Gao Yiye smiled: "The Heavenly Lord has long seen through your thoughts. Are you trying to say that you have too many tasks and can't manage them all by yourself?"
San Shier nodded vigorously: "The Heavenly Lord truly knows everything! My petty thoughts..."
Gao Yiye explained: "The Heavenly Lord said that as Gao Family Village grows and its affairs multiply, you certainly won't be able to handle everything alone. The flour, milk powder, oil, salt, sugar, and silver he has given you, after being distributed to the villagers, any surplus can be flexibly managed to hire some assistants."
San Shier was overjoyed: "This... this is excellent!"
He had experience in official circles and understood one thing clearly: If the Heavenly Lord allowed him to hire more assistants, it was essentially permitting him to establish his 'own yamen'—his own local administration. And he would be the highest official within this 'yamen,' like a county magistrate in a town.
San Shier slapped his thigh in ecstatic joy: "Wahahaha! I'm going to hire people! And I know exactly who I'll hire first!"
Gao Yiye asked curiously: "This next question isn't from the Heavenly Lord, it's from me. Who do you plan to hire first? And why are you smiling so smugly?"
San Shier declared: "I'm going to hire a strategist!"
Gao Yiye choked. "Pfft!"
Li Daoxuan also choked. "Pfft!"
Ignoring Gao Yiye's bewildered expression, San Shier slapped the table and roared with laughter: "I'm going to hire a strategist first, hahahaha! I'll make him do all the grunt work. And if he does anything that displeases me in the slightest, I'll kick him right in the crotch, hahahaha... hahahahaha..."
Gao Yiye was speechless. "..."
Li Daoxuan was speechless. "..."
Oh, humanity!
Why do people always end up becoming the very thing they despise?
Li Daoxuan suddenly remembered what he'd said when he commissioned Cai Xinzhi to customize the Hakka walled house: "Now I'm the client!"
Ahhh!
He slumped down in front of his computer with a thud, rolling around on the floor, tumbling, thrashing, bouncing. So embarrassing, so utterly embarrassing...
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