Chapter 502: They Won't Come Down to Bathe
The next day, Zhang Shi indulged Wang Jiayin in bed, leaving him utterly spent, unable to move for quite some time, a pleasure so intense it stole his breath.
Zhang Shi leaned into his ear, cooing softly, her voice gentle and alluring: "My Lord, my Lord, my brother, Zhang Liwei, holds such a low position in your army. He's your own brother-in-law, yet you won't even grant him a high official post. This clearly shows you no longer cherish me."
Wang Jiayin, still languid from his recent pleasure—a man in such a state is notoriously susceptible—mumbled in response to the beauty's coquetry: "Alright, promote him, promote, promote, promote."
Zhang Shi continued, "I want my brother to be promoted, but I also fear he might die in battle. I think this is best: promote him to your personal commander. That way, he'll always be by your side, and that's the safest place for him."
Wang Jiayin chuckled, "A trifle! Very well, from tomorrow, Zhang Liwei will be my personal commander."
A personal commander, essentially a captain of the personal guard. Once Zhang Liwei secured this position, Wang Jiayin's head was, figuratively speaking, already delivered into his hands.
June 2nd, the fourth year of the Chongzhen reign (1631).
At Chihong Fortress, inside Xing Honglang's main tent, Xing Honglang, Gao Chuwu, Zao Ying, Lao Nanfeng, and their companions were listlessly playing mahjong. It was a new diversion the Heavenly Lord had taught them, carved from pieces of bamboo, and playing a few rounds when idle proved quite entertaining.
They had been observing Xicheng Mountain from a distance for several days, but Wang Jiayin's forces hadn't moved, nor had Cao Wenzhao's. They were so bored, mahjong was their only recourse.
The four playing mahjong almost simultaneously stopped their movements and turned to bow deeply to the Puppet Heavenly Lord: "Greetings, Heavenly Lord."
The Puppet Heavenly Lord gave a knowing chuckle, and its bamboo mouth clacked, "Tonight, a change will surely come, / Jiayin's escape, quite glum. / So quickly now, prepare your gear, / And gather treasures, banish fear."
The four were overjoyed, leaping up simultaneously.
Xing Honglang, Zao Ying, and Gao Chuwu all rushed to their gear. Only Lao Nanfeng took out a canvas bag, opened it, and placed it by the table. Then, with a sweep of his hand, he scooped all the mahjong tiles into the bag, stowing them away. "Don't be in such a hurry to fight," he said. "Battles are endless, but mahjong is a treasure from the world of delights, and it must be kept safe."
After securing the mahjong, he then began to don his armor and buckle his saber. But his movements were swift; years of military service guarding the border allowed him to armor up faster than Gao Chuwu and the others, even with his eyes closed. Starting later, he finished first, fully armored before the other three.
As he mounted his horse, Lao Nanfeng was humming a song from the Celestial Realm: "In this vibrant, worldly place, blossoms everywhere unfurl, / Here I wait for you, to dream within my world..."
After humming a couple of lines, he paused and chuckled at Gao Chuwu and the others, "Why are you all so slow?"
After scolding them, he resumed humming, "I can't escape this world of vibrant hues, / Turns out I'm just a butterfly, intoxicated, lost in the views..."
The others watched his relaxed demeanor, secretly impressed. Few in Gao Family Village could be so nonchalant before heading into battle; even He Jiu, the militia's chief instructor, was always incredibly nervous before a fight, constantly looking for his great-grandmother. He was nowhere near as relaxed as Lao Nanfeng.
Just then, a scout galloped into the tent from outside and reported loudly, "Cao Wenzhao's forces are on the move! They're forming up; it looks like they're preparing to attack the mountain! Oh? You leaders are all already prepared?"
Lao Nanfeng burst into laughter. "The Heavenly Lord is truly amazing; with a mere calculation, he knows all! Since Cao Wenzhao has moved, Wang Jiayin is doomed. Come on, come on! It's time for us to fish in troubled waters..."
Three hundred cavalry went ahead, with the infantry following close behind.
Scout reports kept coming in from the front: Cao Wenzhao's forces were on the move...
Wherever Cao Wenzhao advanced, everyone else followed, always maintaining a distance of several miles.
As they marched onward, Xicheng Mountain became visible in the distance.
By then, it was late evening, and Xicheng Mountain had become a dark, hulking mass, standing like a silhouette against the profound darkness.
Cao Wenzhao's forces halted at the foot of the mountain, ready to attack at any moment.
Xing Honglang's forces naturally also stopped, waiting in silence.
Until the dead of night, the moon hung bright and the stars were sparse.
Suddenly, a burst of fire erupted from the mountaintop with a 'boom.' Then, hundreds of people on the summit roared in unison: "Wang Jiayin is dead! Wang Jiayin is dead!"
Cao Wenzhao was overjoyed. "Attack!"
Three thousand Guanning Iron Cavalry immediately charged up Xicheng Mountain.
Witnessing this scene, Xing Honglang and the others behind them couldn't help but be slightly stunned. "What exactly happened on the mountaintop?"
The Puppet Heavenly Lord chuckled knowingly and began clacking its bamboo boards again: "A common girl, he took by force, / His wife's own brother steered his course. / While drunk, his head was swiftly taken, / By evil deeds, he was forsaken."
Everyone listened, momentarily bewildered. After carefully pondering the four lines, they suddenly understood.
Three pairs of eyes instantly turned to Lao Nanfeng.
Lao Nanfeng scratched his head. "What? Why are you all looking at me like that?"
Gao Chuwu said, "Lao Nanfeng, I have a feeling you might follow in Wang Jiayin's footsteps. You always have a face practically drooling when it comes to beautiful women. It wouldn't be surprising if one day, you forcefully seized a common girl, and then, 'he who does many wrongs will find his end.'"
Lao Nanfeng's expression turned serious. "Heh heh, you're wrong about that. It's true that I, Lao Nanfeng, like beautiful women, but I have no interest in mortal women. In my heart now, there are only celestial maidens."
The others were speechless.
Lao Nanfeng added, "Even if you gave me a hundred times more courage, I wouldn't dare to forcefully seize a celestial maiden."
Xing Honglang nodded. "That's true!"
Zao Ying also nodded. "Agreed."
Only Gao Chuwu grinned widely. "Stealing a celestial maiden isn't allowed, but you could steal their clothes! Didn't the Cowherd achieve his good fortune by stealing a celestial maiden's clothes?"
Lao Nanfeng exclaimed, "Huh? There's that trick? How did I forget! Gao Chuwu, you're a genius! I'm going to go guard a mountain pond and see."
Everyone was aghast.
Xing Honglang kicked Gao Chuwu to the ground. "What nonsense are you teaching him? That rascal will actually do it!"
Gao Chuwu asked, "Huh? Would someone really do something like that?"
Xing Honglang replied, "No one else would, but that guy, Lao Nanfeng, he very well might!"
The Puppet Heavenly Lord watched this scene from the side, laughing so hard its entire wooden frame clacked. "Everyone rest assured, those celestial maidens won't descend to bathe. Lao Nanfeng won't find them, let alone steal their clothes."
Lao Nanfeng cried, "Wait, wait, wait? They really won't descend to bathe?"
The Puppet Heavenly Lord nodded. "No! Never. It's not like there aren't places to bathe up there, why would they bother coming down here?"
Lao Nanfeng flopped dramatically to the ground with a thud, collapsing in a heap of utter dejection.
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