Chapter 157 This Militia is Useless
Liang Shixian felt his reputation was utterly ruined. Having to borrow weapons from the Li Family every time bandits caused trouble in his county was beyond embarrassing; where would a magistrate like him put his face?
But with bandits potentially at their gates at any moment, what good was pride? He'd toss it aside, stomp on it, and if necessary, even lick it clean off the dirt.
San Shier smiled. "Since Magistrate Liang requests it, our Li Family would naturally not be stingy. Those five hundred bows we lent you last time, we shall lend them to you again."
Liang Shixian was overjoyed. "The Li Family truly are benevolent people."
While the two engaged in strained small talk, the newly appointed military inspector, Fang Wushang, was scanning his surroundings, his gaze constantly sweeping across the area.
The colossal fortified manor before him captivated his interest. Its ten-meter-high walls and corner towers on all four sides struck him with the same awe Bai Yuan had felt upon first seeing the Hakka Walled House.
Fang Wushang had originally intended to extort the wealthy Gao Family Village, waiting for the bandit army to arrive. But this wealthy household was so "great" that he dared not touch it. He feared offending someone, getting reported to higher authorities by their powerful backers, and losing his head over a foolish attempt at extortion. That would not be worth it.
Fang Wushang spoke up. "Third Steward, have you heard about the bandit troubles in Heyang County?"
San Shier replied, "Indeed. Alas, Heyang County is too close to us, leaving us genuinely unsettled. We have already begun organizing a village militia, preparing to fight the bandits."
As she spoke, the militiamen all listened attentively, not daring to show the slightest disrespect. It was clear at a glance that this woman was someone of importance.
Fang Wushang scoffed inwardly. *A woman leading the militia? Instead of proper training, she's giving them a lecture. Could soldiers trained like this possibly be useful? Utter nonsense.*
Just then, Gao Yiye concluded her "ideological and political lesson," rose, and headed back toward the main keep.
The moment she left, the militia immediately relaxed.
Padi Tu leaped to his feet with a flourish, laughing heartily. "Hahaha! Now you can teach me your fist techniques, right? Hurry, hurry, teach me how to fight! Eh? Where did Instructor He go? He was just around here!"
He looked left and right, but saw no instructor. No one was there to supervise him, and the Saintess had also departed.
Padi Tu instantly reverted to his true colors as a troublesome soldier, dramatically drawing his rusty sword from his waist and exclaiming, "Everyone, watch me demonstrate my ultimate, secret move—My Heaven Rabbit Rending Overlord Sword!"
Everyone laughed in unison. "Oh, just give it a rest!"
Padi Tu insisted, "I've practiced diligently! Watch my sword!"
He sprang up with a flourish, his movements exaggerated and sweeping, striking out with his sword while shouting, "Heaven! Rabbit! Rending! Overlord! Sword!"
From a distance, Fang Wushang watched his chaotic, aimless sword swings, devoid of any presence and full of flaws. He couldn't help but shake his head. "As expected, soldiers led by a woman. This militia is utterly useless."
At that moment, Liang Shixian was still making awkward conversation with San Shier. "Third Steward, this official brought Inspector Fang today precisely to introduce you two. Inspector Fang intends to lead troops to resist the bandits entering Chengcheng. The bandit forces are formidable, and Inspector Fang has few effective soldiers under his command. Therefore, he will likely need your militia's assistance."
San Shier hesitated, unsure how to refuse.
But Fang Wushang cut in, "No need!"
Liang Shixian blinked. "Hm?"
Fang Wushang declared, "I've already seen what their militia is like. Such a militia would only get in my way and hold me back if they joined me. It seems we've come here for nothing."
San Shier: "..."
Fang Wushang stated, "I will suppress the bandits myself."
With that, he said no more, turning and striding away.
San Shier: "..."
Liang Shixian felt a little awkward. "Ahem! Third Steward, please don't take offense. Military officials are simply uncouth and utterly disregard etiquette."
San Shier chuckled inwardly. *No offense, no offense at all! It's actually quite good that he doesn't want our help. Half of our soldiers currently wear armor, and the other half, though unarmored, have protective plates sewn into key areas of their padded jackets. Such equipment shouldn't be seen by you. If we were to act together, we would have a headache.*
He turned his head to glance at the militia in the distance, seeing Padi Tu still clowning around, waving his rusty sword like an idiot. He secretly rejoiced. *Excellent! This fool has rendered a great service. I'll issue him a bonus later.*
Padi Tu had no idea he had just earned a major merit. He continued to swing his rusty sword left and right. Suddenly, he saw a man in a general's armor quickly approaching.
Padi Tu: "???"
That man was, of course, Fang Wushang. He suddenly took a large stride and closed the distance to Padi Tu in a terrifying burst of speed. Padi Tu yelped in surprise, his sword unconsciously slashing toward Fang Wushang.
Fang Wushang sidestepped, tripping Padi Tu with his foot. Padi Tu fell flat on his face with a loud "thump."
Fang Wushang snorted. "Worthless!"
With that, he strode off, walking away with long steps.
Padi Tu scrambled to his feet, a look of profound grievance on his face. "Damn it, I knew all officials were no good! This rabbit lord didn't provoke him, so why did he suddenly come over and hit me?"
The people nearby simply spread their hands and shrugged.
Zheng Daniu spoke up, "Forget him. Honestly, I've wanted to punch you for a long time too."
Another person nearby raised a hand. "Me too!"
"Actually, me too!"
In a flash, everyone in the militia of over a hundred men, except Gao Chuwu, had raised their hands.
Padi Tu was startled. Seeing Gao Chuwu hadn't raised his hand, he clung to him like a drowning man, instantly darting behind Gao Chuwu. "Brother Chuwu, you're still the kindest to me. Only you wouldn't hit me."
Gao Chuwu sighed. "Alas! To think I hit him while Miss Xing was injured. I'm truly no man."
Everyone: "..."
Padi Tu broke out in a cold sweat. "Brother Chuwu, didn't you hear what just happened?"
Gao Chuwu asked, "Huh? What happened just now?"
Padi Tu explained, "They all said they wanted to hit me."
Gao Chuwu exclaimed, "Oh? Is that so? That's wonderful! I've wanted to hit you for ages too. Since everyone feels the same way, let's go for it."
Padi Tu shrieked, "Ahhh!"
A group of men instantly tackled Padi Tu to the ground, grabbing his arms and legs and lifting him. They aimed his crotch at a nearby tree and began to smash him against it... grinding, grinding... like a devil's dance.
Padi Tu wailed, "No, no, no! Don't! This rabbit lord will have no descendants! Please, no!"
The village women who witnessed this covered their faces and turned away, grumbling in exasperation, "Men are truly incorrigible, always doing foolish things."
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