Chapter 537: Lihua Tells No One |
After parting ways with Ruyi at Chuanfeng Lane, each entered their own courtyard.
Ruyi washed her face. Seeing the moonlight reflected in the wooden basin, she gazed at it for a long while, lost in thought, as if pondering something.
A young woman’s thoughts are always hard to guess.
She sighed, wiped the water dripping down her chin, and went inside the house.
Lying in bed, her mind raced and she couldn’t sleep.
By midnight, she was still tossing and turning.
Finally giving up on sleep, she thought to herself that the night sky was clear. She went to the firewood shed, fetched the ladder, leaned it against the courtyard wall, and climbed onto the roof.
Ever since her mother remarried and left, she often came up here. When she felt lonely, she’d gaze at the moon. The view was best here; she could see far, far away places.
She remembered dad, mother, Ping’an, and Uncle Chen…
Just like she’d said as a child: growing up truly isn’t good. Not only was she less free than in her youth, but she also smiled much less now.
The tabby cat named Lihua in the yard looked up and saw someone sitting on the roof. Using the corners of the wall, it climbed up.
Ruyi looked down and saw Lihua approach.
Lihua blinked. “You’re not sleeping?”
Ruyi smiled. “Couldn’t sleep.”
She reached out to pat Lihua’s head.
Lihua dodged. “Can’t pet me.”
“Why?”
“Only Mo Yu can touch Lihua’s head.”
“Who’s Mo Yu?”
“Mo Yu.”
Ruyi asked, “Is Mo Yu very important to you?”
“Yes.” Lihua nodded.
Ruyi asked again, “Not even Mr. Chen can touch it?”
Lihua thought for a moment, then said, “Not sure…”
It wasn’t like this before.
Hearing this, Ruyi chuckled and didn’t press further.
Lihua glanced at her sideways. “Good Human Chen said not to climb on the roof. It’s easy to fall.”
Ruyi said, “I won’t fall.”
Lihua licked the fur on its paw. “But it’s okay. Good Human Chen is asleep. He won’t know anything.”
Following its gaze under the moonlight, Ruyi saw the green-robed gentleman asleep on the bench nearby, his head propped on a hand.
“If Uncle Chen finds out, you’ll get scolded.”
“We’ll be quiet.”
The tabby cat crawled onto Ruyi’s lap and settled down, probably because the roof tiles were uncomfortable.
Ruyi sighed and continued watching the moon.
Lihua seemed to sense something. “You seem unhappy.”
“I am, a little,” Ruyi admitted.
“Why?”
“It feels like Uncle Chen changed.”
“Hmm…”
The tabby cat looked at Chen Changsheng in the courtyard below, puzzled.
Ruyi looked at Lihua and grinned. “You wouldn’t understand even if I told you.”
Lihua said, “If you don’t explain clearly, how will Lihua understand?”
“How should I explain?”
“What part of him changed?”
“He changed towards me.”
Lihua lowered its head and fell silent.
Seeing it quiet for a while, Ruyi looked down.
“Why so quiet?”
“Lihua won’t talk to people who only say half of things.”
Ruyi was amused. As her laughter faded, she sighed. “Actually, Uncle Chen hasn’t changed. I’m the one who changed. Sometimes I feel we’re not even from the same world anymore. I worry we’ll drift apart, and that… someday, there’ll be nothing between us.”
“Hmm…”
Lihua finally asked, “Is Good Human Chen very important to you?”
“Very much.”
Ruyi said, “Uncle Chen is my family.”
Lihua heard that word for the second time.
It was still confused. “What does ‘family’ really mean?”
“It’s like Mo Yu is to you.”
Lihua seemed to grasp a little.
Ruyi added, “Lihua, do you worry about not having family in the days to come?”
“Mo Yu will always be here. Why would Lihua worry?” Lihua blinked.
Ruyi paused. “Mo Yu truly treats you very well.”
“Yes.”
Lihua blinked again. “Doesn’t Good Human Chen treat you well?”
“Of course he does. That’s exactly why it’s hard to let go.”
Ruyi said, “I’m just a mortal. But Uncle Chen… he’s an Immortal. How many three or five years do I have in one lifetime? Yet for someone like him, such a span is nothing more than a blink. Even you, Lihua, think it’s short.”
Lihua made a thoughtful noise but didn’t grasp the deeper meaning.
Probably the gap in understanding.
Lihua didn’t know the difference between Immortal and mortal.
“But three or five years… really are short.”
Lihua stated, “Lihua lived over ten years at Cloudtop Manor. It didn’t feel long at all.”
“Exactly. That’s the difference.”
Ruyi continued, “It’s like Sister Yun. All these years, maybe she’s been chasing Uncle Chen’s shadow. But truly seeing how far apart they are… all she could do was wait. Waited since her youth, the spring of youth at 16 or 17… waited until she grew older…”
“… Waited for that specific year, that specific day, that specific moment… hoping… just hoping to see him once. But how long could one lifetime wait? How many times could she truly see him?”
Ruyi lowered her head. Sadness clouded her eyes.
“But I refuse that. That’s family! Seeing them only a few times in a lifetime? How could that satisfy me? I want to tie him right up! Force him to stay! Stay in Qingshan City! Never leave!”
Hearing this, Lihua’s mouth hung open. Its eyes were innocent, uncomprehending.
Still didn’t get it.
Ruyi probably knew Lihua wouldn’t understand. That’s why she spoke these thoughts out loud to the cat.
Lihua lifted its head. It could feel Ruyi’s emotions – a clear, sharp frustration. But the why escaped it.
Ruyi sighed, looked at the moon, and said, “Just like the moon. You can see it, but you can’t touch it. It waxes and wanes. Being uncertain like that… that’s the worst kind of unease.”
“The… moon?”
Lihua looked up at the full moon. It thought for a moment, then said this:
“Looks like Candied Hawthorn.”
Ruyi froze, then burst out laughing.
Lihua blinked. “You were unhappy just now.”
It found this strange. Why laugh suddenly?
Ruyi smiled brightly. “I’m happy now.”
Lihua stared at her. “Lihua doesn’t understand.”
“It’s good you don’t.”
“Good?”
“Yes.”
Ruyi scratched under Lihua’s chin. “I wish I could be as simple as you, Lihua. To be so carefree, it’s really enviable.”
“Lihua worries too,” Lihua rebutted.
Ruyi laughed again. “Some words just don’t work when you flip them around like that.”
“Really…?”
Lihua didn’t get that either.
Ruyi then asked, “So, Lihua, what do you worry about?”
Lihua gazed at her solemnly. “You said Lihua is fat. Now Lihua has to walk everywhere outside.”
Ruyi froze, then chuckled apologetically. “That was my fault.”
“Hmm.”
They stayed on the roof like this, person and cat, for a long time.
The night wind carried a chill.
Ruyi said softly, “The things I said tonight… you mustn’t tell Mr. Chen, Lihua. Keep it a secret? Deal?”
“Will I get Candied Hawthorn for keeping the secret?”
“Yes. I’ll buy you some tomorrow.”
“Then Lihua tells no one.”