Chapter 1: Eina (2) |
I’d tried to write novels myself. It was the reason I joined the club in the first place, I’d spent so long reading and enjoying novels, I wanted to write one myself.
However, each time I decided to write something and sat down in front of a blank page or computer screen, I couldn’t write a single letter.
Then I started reading dozens of books like How to Write a Novel! But it didn’t help. I tried doing what the books suggested but none of it helped.
There might be people who’d want to ask what someone like me would do in the club seeing as I can’t even write. Several of my classmates actually have asked that.
Roughly speaking, my job would be everything other than writing. For example, I’d read the submitted manuscripts and point out issues with language and plot, and depending on the circumstances I’d also consider how to improve things with the author and help search for materials.
So in short, my job was to make a place that the creators could shine their brightest.
It sounds cooler like that, but with no submissions, there was nothing I could do.
In the end, the day finished the same way it always did, with no applicants appearing and with me not writing a word. I had opened a notebook and strained for ideas, but it was to no avail.
My phone vibrated in my pocket while I was in the midst of my disappointment as I walked home.
“She seems like she’s having fun,” I let out in a sigh. But then I saw the following message and my heart clenched.
Eina: It’s all over. I want to die.
I was shocked at the sheer lack of excitement and happiness that had been present until now.
To die?
Why?
The messages halted there. I got home, ate dinner and headed to my room and there still hadn’t been any more.
It shouldn’t be strange for a girl in her teens like she seems to be to send a message in that time period.
Did she maybe give up because I didn’t reply?
Or did she really die?
Or maybe… she was preparing to…
Shuu: Don’t die.
I didn’t mean to do that.
I replied and realised that this itself was a method a trickster would use. They’d send several cheerful messages, then suddenly switch to something heavy…
The mark would wonder what had happened and naturally reply…
But it was too late now.
I’ll accept my fate.
I tried sending another message.
Shuu: You can’t die. Did something happen? I’ll give you advice.
I’d already replied once, and now here I was getting further into things. I guess you could say this followed the saying ‘in for a penny, in for a pound’ maybe?
Besides, I’d been wondering what kind of spam this was, so this would work.
Eina: Eh, who’s this?
She replied immediately. Now for the swindling.
Eina: There shouldn’t be comments on this diary app.
But I didn’t really understand what she meant.
Shuu: Diary? It’s a chat app isn’t it?
Eina: I’ve been using it as a diary app though… I guess it’s not? Umm, have you been getting these messages the whole time?
Shuu: Well, yeah.
Eina: I-I-I’m sorry for bothering you!
I could practically see a girl bowing her head in a frantic apology. She seemed to be a good actor.
Shuu: Eh, it’s fine. So, why do you want to die?
I decided to continue, talking to a girl who wanted to kill herself, or that kind of setup at least. Then I waited for a response, sure it would be something girlish like failing a confession.
And then…
Eina: I can’t find a reason to keep living.
A reason… to live…?
This was an awfully philosophical spam message.
Eina: Living is painful, there are no positive reasons to live, so I thought I should just die.
Shuu: But there’s still gotta be some enjoyable things, right?
Eina: There’s not nothing. It’s a little fun to read I guess… but there’s much more pain.
Shuu: But if you died, people would be upset, like your friends and family…
Eina: They wouldn’t, not at all.
My breath caught in my throat.
I could feel the loneliness from the words.
I might have hit a nerve, I didn’t know the girl that called herself Eina, or her situation, so I shouldn’t speak carelessly.
I thought that and smiled tightly. I guess I was already well under the impression that she was indeed a girl.
Listen, Shuu, this is just one of their tricks. The calm part of my mind urged me. But what if that one-in-a-million chance was true, and there really was a girl considering suicide? Should I do something?
It doesn’t matter if I’m tricked.
If it wasn’t true, then that was that. If this was a joke, then so be it. You can laugh at me if you like.
Anyway, I decided to continue as if Eina was a normal girl at risk of committing suicide.
Shuu: If you die and then change your mind, you can’t come back, are you sure?
But what I came up with was pathetic and I slumped slightly. I doubted those shallow words would stop someone thinking of killing themselves.
Eina: I wouldn’t change my mind if I was dead. I’d just be a body.
Just like I thought, Eina’s reply supported that.
Alone, I crossed my arms and thought.
How did you stop someone from killing themselves? She had no reason to live, no one would mourn her, and she wouldn’t regret it after…
She enjoyed reading, but there was too much pain in living-
If she could find a reason to live, that would be enough, but finding one in such a short time would-
“Wait a minute…”
She liked reading?
That’s a great idea.
If she didn’t have a reason to live, I’d make her one.
Shuu: I’m changing the topic, but have you ever felt like writing a book?
Eina: Isn’t that a rather huge topic change?
Shuu: It’s important. My literature club doesn’t have enough authors so we couldn’t publish anything. I’m searching for someone to write for us. You interested? You like reading, right?
Eina: Uh, I am interested, but I’ve never written a story.
Excellent, she’s joining in. I sent messages pressing it.
Shuu: You’ve been writing great so far, I’m sure you’ll be fine. If you try and can’t, that’s fine too.
Eina: But is it okay for me to write it? I’m not a member or anything, and I don’t even go to your school.
Shuu: It might be a problem technically, but I’ll do something about that. I don’t think using a pen-name will be an issue. I’ll come up with some excuse like one of the members wrote it anonymously or something. Besides, this is life and death for me too. If I can’t publish something within two weeks, the student council will take our clubroom.
Eina: That’s awful! Okay! I’ll try it!
She seemed completely into it. Was the thing about losing the clubroom effective? She was surprisingly kind-hearted. Anyway, she seemed to have forgotten about killing herself.
And if I could get the manuscript, and publish a book then I might even be able to defend the clubroom.
Truly two birds with one stone.
Eina: Umm, are there any requirements?
Shuu: Not really. Just write what you like. Or would requirements make it easier?
Eina: They would! It’s my first time after all!
Shuu: Then something with a high school girl as the protagonist. The contents won’t be questioned.
Eina: Got it!