Chapter 464: Evil God Festival · Houseboat |
Tears dissolved into the water-patterned wall on Xie Ta’s face, expanding layer by layer until it turned into a bright, mirror-like wall surface. In it, Spades was reflected as Tawil, who also let fall a single tear.
This mirrored water-patterned wall stood between Spades and Tawil, just like the piece of glass on the stage before. Two actors looked at each other through the glass, but this was a one-way mirrored water-patterned wall; Spades could not see Tawil behind the mirror, but Tawil could see Spades behind the mirror.
On the other side of the mirrored water-patterned wall, Bai Six stood to the left of Spades. On the side where the mirror refracted, Bai Six stood to the right of Tawil. The Bai Six on this side of the mirror spoke with a smile:
“To see your own container shed tears, what kind of feeling is that, Tawil?”
Bai Six whispered with a light laugh into Tawil’s ear: “Haven’t you already accepted all of this? Then why do your tears fall at this moment?”
“What are you suffering for, my child?”
“Are you suffering because your container will also encounter Bai Liu?”
A water-patterned wall suddenly expanded to Tawil’s left. On it played the scene of Bai Liu suddenly reaching out to grab the hand of Spades, who had just stepped into the game pool. The Bai Liu on the water-patterned wall gripped Spades’s hand tightly, turned his head to look at him, and softly spoke his own name: “Bai Liu.”
Bai Six whispered: “Reading together.”
“Sleeping in each other’s arms.”
On the water-patterned wall, Spades used both hands and feet to circle and hug Bai Liu, who wanted to struggle, as they hid under the bed. The two people’s breaths intertwined intimately.
“Kissing.”
Yet another water-patterned wall appeared. Spades looked down at Bai Liu, whose eyes were tightly closed, and slowly leaned down.
Tawil’s fingers curled and gripped the handle of the chair. His breathing quickened, and he closed his eyes.
“I don’t want to watch anymore.” He turned his head away in rejection.
“Why are you unwilling to watch, my child?” Bai Six bent over, looking with great interest from behind Tawil’s shoulder at the scene of the two people kissing on the water-patterned wall in front of Tawil. “Are you jealous?”
“—Jealous that your container, as a human, is about to possess the Bai Liu you dream of. Jealous that this container is just like you were back then; because he is loved by Bai Liu, he changes from a lonely, cold creation into a monster with a soul.”
“Jealous that Spades will see, embrace, and kiss that happy Bai Liu whom you sacrificed your soul and made a wish to obtain.”
“Yes.” Tawil was silent for a long time before he slowly opened his eyes, looking at the images on the water-patterned wall, and admitted very softly, “I am jealous of him, jealous of my container.”
“I suffer because of jealousy and the inability to possess.”
Countless transparent threads, like falling snow, drifted down from the deep reaches of the stars in the universe onto Tawil’s body, enveloping him in a cocoon named [Suffering]. Even his face could no longer be seen; only his voice could be heard penetrating these threads, drifting out clear and calm.
“But I know this is not his fault. He did not have the right to choose why he was born. All of this is just a game of yours.”
“The relationship between me, Bai Liu, and Spades is the relationship between God, the sacrificial victim, and the attendant.”
“Among the three of us, one must be the God, one must be the sacrificial victim who suffers because of God, and one must be the attendant who guards the sacrificial victim.”
The threads falling on Tawil’s body grew more and more numerous, and his voice became finer and finer:
“No matter who becomes the God, who is the sacrificial victim, or who is the attendant, everyone is suffering.”
“So, in order to prevent Bai Liu from becoming the God, you chose the most painful way to make your wish.” Bai Six raised an eyebrow and questioned with interest, “Did you intentionally let Spades be born?”
Tawil was silent for a very, very long time before he spoke to answer: “Yes.”
His gaze passed through the densely wrapped threads, staring fixedly at the Bai Liu on the water-patterned screen who was pushing Spades away with a cold expression. Mottled light and shadows wavered in his pupils, and his tone was very light:
“I couldn’t think of a second way to make Bai Liu happy while simultaneously making myself suffer.”
“Truly a great sacrifice.” Bai Six said with a smile in his voice. “This plan you coordinated with Lu Yizhan was originally seamless. According to your intentions, next you would become my successor, become the Evil God, and guard the door to prevent the heretics from the other side of the door from coming over. This way, the operation of the world line would return to normal.”
“Bai Liu’s memory would be sealed by Lu Yizhan. Under his protection, he would grow up normally and become a mediocre ordinary person in this secular world. Then he would meet your stripped-off container, which is Spades, and start a light comedy-like love story.”
“Lu Yizhan would win the game, others would obtain world peace, and Bai Liu would obtain family, friends, and a lover.”
*(T/N: Holy fuck wait, so Lu Yizhan has been working Tawil the whole time???)*
“Only you, my poor child.” Bai Six placed his hand on Tawil’s shoulder, which was covered in threads, patting it as if in pity. “You lose the few things you possessed, standing by the door watching this world line where everyone else is happy, becoming a lonely and suffering soul.”
“This was actually the best ending you could imagine.”
“But what you didn’t anticipate was…” Bai Six placed his hand in front of the water-patterned wall directly facing Tawil and snapped his fingers. He smiled. “Someone did not follow the trajectory you and Lu Yizhan predicted.”
The scene playing on the water-patterned wall paused and began to rewind rapidly. All the images mixed into a fragmented mess, finally stopping on the image of the fourteen-year-old Little Bai Liu lying by the pond with vacant eyes.
At that time, Lu Yizhan had just used a skill to forcibly erase all of Little Bai Liu’s memories regarding Xie Ta.
Lu Yizhan asked Bai Liu if he was willing to change his name and escape from that place, but Little Bai Liu, who clearly should have remembered nothing, turned his head to look at the pond and said hoarsely:
“I don’t accept changing too much of my name.”
Lu Yizhan asked why.
Bai Liu’s eyes were soulless and dazed as he said: “…I don’t know, I just feel like maybe someone… will use my original name to find me.”
“I don’t want him to be unable to find me.”
The pupils of Tawil, hidden within the countless threads, shrank suddenly.
“Quite surprised, aren’t you?” Bai Six laughed. “I was also very surprised. Bai Liu actually could still remember you. The memory erasure skill I gave Lu Yizhan is a God-level world line skill of the same rank as mine. This means that even a God cannot completely erase Bai Liu’s memory of you.”
“He doesn’t know who you are, or what his relationship with you was, but he is instinctively doing things that can keep you.”
The image in the water-patterned wall shifted, changing to the moment Lu Yizhan was taking Little Bai Liu to escape the welfare home.
At the very moment they were about to escape the welfare home, Bai Liu suddenly turned back and ran back: “Wait a minute, I have to go get something.”
“What thing?” Lu Yizhan was anxious to death. “They’re about to catch up!”
Bai Liu didn’t pause for a second: “Something very important.”
When Bai Liu ran out panting with the items in his arms, Lu Yizhan was stunned—it was a roll of blood-stained bandages and a storybook that had been torn up and then taped back together.
The image in the water-patterned wall shifted again. A slightly older Bai Liu, looking seventeen or eighteen and wearing a school uniform, stood on the street, staring at a doll waving at him next to a shopping mall having a grand opening sale.
Then Bai Liu walked over, looking directly into the doll’s eyes: “Hello.”
The person inside the doll was stunned, then took off the headgear, revealing a bewildered face: “He—hello? Is something the matter?”
“I want to ask.” Bai Liu asked in a calm tone. “How much do you make a month doing this?”
The person inside the doll froze, then scratched his head somewhat helplessly: “Looking at your clothes, you’re a high school student, right? It’s not a holiday now either; you should focus on your studies before thinking about making money.”
“Doing this is very tiring. Look at me, swinging around here for half a day and they only give me sixty yuan, and I’m covered in sweat.”
“I’m not afraid of being tired.” Bai Liu nodded in thanks. “Sixty a day, right? Thank you.”
After getting the answer, he turned to leave. However, the man in the doll felt a bit uneasy and called out to him: “Hey! Are you in some kind of trouble? Do you have adults at home to support?”
Bai Liu’s back stiffened. He didn’t turn around, answering in a calm voice: “I don’t know.”
“But I feel like I still have to support someone.”
The man behind didn’t hear clearly, only catching the latter half, and advised earnestly again: “Then it doesn’t have to be dressing as a doll; the money is very little.”
“It’s not that I want it, it’s that he wants it.” Bai Liu’s tone was very indifferent. “But he most likely won’t do it well, so I’ll do it instead.”
[Then how much money can you earn by playing a doll? Can it support both of us?]
[I don’t need you to support me, and you can’t afford it either. Just take care of yourself.]
Bai Six curled his lips:
“Bai Liu clearly doesn’t remember you, but since you disappeared, he has never stopped searching for traces of your existence in this world line where your existence was erased.”
“Although Bai Liu has never found anything, he has never once doubted your existence.”
*(T/N: Is THIS why Bai Liu’s obsession is with money? Because that part of him without memories knew he had to support someone?)*
Bai Six reached out, lightly stroking the surface of the water-patterned wall. The image inside shifted once more as he whispered with a low laugh:
“Even if he suspected he was a mental patient, he never doubted your existence.”
On the water-patterned wall appeared an even older Bai Liu. He looked to be in his twenties, sitting in a poorly equipped community psychological counseling room, looking calmly at the psychologist opposite him, recounting his condition in a steady tone:
“…I always feel that around the age of fourteen, I seem to have met someone very important to me. About this high, probably very good-looking, I can’t remember clearly. The eyes were silver-blue, seemingly capable of making people go mad. But I have checked many times and have never found any information on this person.”
The psychologist opposite flipped through Bai Liu’s case file and paused:
“It’s like this, Mr. Bai Liu. Some children who were exceptionally lonely during childhood will imagine a friend for themselves. These friends sometimes possess surreal characteristics, somewhat like some kind of fairy tale monster.”
“But this kind of fantasy generally doesn’t persist into adulthood, does it?” Bai Liu questioned back in a calm tone. “I might indeed be a mental patient, but this person cannot be a product of my imagination.”
“Because…”
Bai Liu suddenly fell silent.
The psychologist looked up and asked: “Because why?”
Bai Liu raised his gaze: “Because I can feel that he is not some imaginary friend of mine, nor is he some monster.”
“He is someone very important to me.”
Bai Six smiled and whispered softly into the ear of Tawil, who was enveloped in threads:
“Bai Liu is still loving you.”
“Loving that soul that was abandoned and sacrificed by you.”
A single tear slowly fell from Tawil’s eye. All the water-patterned walls in front of him shattered like a smashed mirror, and countless threads behind him flew up, breaking away from his body like a replay of a grand snowfall.
“Don’t.” Tawil said softly through his tears, reaching out to grasp those threads leaving him. “Don’t tell me these things.”
“Don’t let me know that he is still loving me.”
Tawil looked at the Bai Liu in the fragments of the water-patterned wall, tears falling drop by drop, his voice hoarse:
“That way, I won’t be able to continue suffering, and then it will be his turn to suffer.”
—
*(T/N: Bro we are all suffering right now.)*
