Chapter 461: Evil God Festival · Houseboat |
“I am very curious about this.” Bai Six tilted his head slightly and asked with a smile, “To love a creation that will never respond, to deceive oneself into producing affection—what kind of feeling is that?”
“When you watch Tawil reading alone in the church, waiting for him to look back at you, do you feel pain?”
“You mind this very much, don’t you?”
“No one likes a kindred spirit who makes them feel pain; it’s just that you had no choice.”
“After all, from the moment of your birth, you have never received love spontaneously generated by other humans. What you have is all traded for by yourself, feelings that meet various conditions. So, are you unable to distinguish whether they respond to you because of the external things you bestowed, or because they are your kindred spirits?”
“Xie Ta was like this, Lu Yizhan was like this, and your later teammates, Mu Ke, Mu Shicheng, Liu Jiayi, Tang Erda—every single one of them is like this.”
“You must meet a certain expectation of theirs, giving them the things they want, before they will draw near to you.”
“So, have you truly obtained their feelings for you? Or have you merely used purchase to briefly obtain their presence by your side to accompany you?”
“If one day you can no longer continue to provide the items for trade, will they abandon you and leave you forever?”
*(T/N: Shut up I’m going to be sick. I hate Bai Six so much.)*
Bai Liu’s breathing slowed. He lowered his head, his forehead fringe falling to obscure his face, making his expression unreadable. His entire body slowly shrank, his Kariginu transforming into the oversized, uniform outer clothing of the welfare home. His body became thin and frail, finally turning into the appearance of fourteen-year-old Bai Liu.
The thin and small Bai Liu sat motionlessly on the audience chair opposite the water-patterned wall, drops of water from the ends of his hair falling into the universe.
>[System Warning: Player Bai Liu is under attack by the Evil God Bai Six. Mental Value is dropping and is about to fall below 60. Hallucinations appearing…]
Bai Six looked at the Bai Liu on the other side of the water-patterned wall with a smile, or rather, the fourteen-year-old Little Bai Six:
“In essence, you are just like the initial Tawil; you gathered these people around you through preemptive, unsolicited bestowals. But I have already proven in countless experiments that such preemptive bestowals cannot exchange for love; they can only exchange for desire.”
“Are you certain that the things you currently trade from others are truly feelings, and not some kind of desire that looks similar to feelings?”
Bai Six lowered his eyes as if in pity: “You are like Tawil, both of you are lonely deities.”
“It’s just that he has no soul; he won’t feel lonely or pained when he receives no response or love. But you do.”
“Your soul will generate endless pain because it cannot obtain love.”
>[System Warning: Player Bai Liu’s Mental Value continues to drop, about to fall below 40!]
Water gradually began to seep out of Bai Liu’s clothes. It was as if he had fallen into a non-existent pool; his hair and clothes began to float in the universe, and his hands drifted in front of him. Beneath him, a door-shaped black hole appeared, rotating, with silver-blue radiance shimmering faintly inside.
Bai Six looked at Bai Liu with those silver-blue eyes, smiling, and continued:
“The pain born from a person’s soul will bind them, trapping them in place so they cannot move forward, just like silk threads that can only be manipulated by this pain, slowly turning them into puppets of pain.”
A transparent silk thread flew out from the depths of the universe and wound around Bai Liu’s wrist, lifting his frail wrist like a marionette.
“Tawil is a true monster, while you are a monster with a soul. You two were never of the same kind from the beginning.”
Bai Six said softly:
“And the humans around you, whether good or bad, have received love and have loved others. They gained souls because they generated pain for others, and they have true humans who care for them.”
“They do not come from the same place as you. Even if they have wandered to your side at this moment, they will ultimately not return to the same place as you, because you are not of the same kind, and because they all have their own places to return to and people to welcome their return.”
“You are merely a deity who briefly took them in.”
Bai Six gazed at the fourteen-year-old Bai Liu across the water-patterned wall: “When they leave, you will still be all alone.”
“No one will stay for you.”
“In this world, no one looked forward to your birth, no one looked forward to your growth, and no one expected you to become a good person. Yet you, as a derivative of an Evil God, strive to control your own desires and satisfy their conditions to turn yourself into an ordinary good person, using this to make yourself their kindred spirit and obtain their fleeting feelings.”
“—Just like your fourteen-year-old self, who turned himself into a monster just to have that monster Tawil as a kindred spirit.”
“After all these years, and after paying so much, you still haven’t found your kindred spirit, Bai Liu.”
>[System Warning: Player Bai Liu’s Mental Value is continuing to drop, about to fall below 20! Please restore Mental Value immediately!]
Two more silk threads flew out and tied themselves to Bai Liu’s left wrist and neck. He was pulled by the threads to slowly raise his head. Bai Six walked unhurriedly from behind the water-patterned wall. He walked up to Bai Liu and lifted Bai Liu’s chin, his face carrying a sigh that seemed like pity.
“In this world, from the very beginning of your birth, the only one who has been watching you and looking forward to you is me.”
Bai Six took off his right glove and lowered his eyes, using his right hand to lightly cradle the side of Bai Liu’s face, his voice very soft:
“I know what you are thinking, I understand everything you want to do. I will bring the most interesting games in this world before you.”
“—The birth of your soul surprised me, making me give up on that old creation. Your growth and self-restraint make me feel that I have seen the most valuable thing in this world.”
“You let me see the possibility of a human with a soul becoming a deity, guarding the gate eternally amidst unending pain and loneliness.”
Bai Six’s warm palm brushed against Bai Liu’s cheek, his thumb grazing under Bai Liu’s eye, a compassionate smile on his face:
“I know that if it were you, even if all the abyss, darkness, hatred, desire, and other negative emotions from the other side of the gate were poured onto you, you could still maintain your sanity. You could keep your soul in a human shape within some kind of love from nowhere, eternally guarding this gate in the vast universe.”
“—Just like you are guarding those you think are your kindred spirits, even though they are not.”
“In all the timelines you can perceive, the one who expects you to keep living, the one who can truly understand your thoughts, the existence closest to being your kindred spirit, is actually only me—the one you loathe.”
Bai Six knelt on one knee before Bai Liu. He gazed at the fourteen-year-old Bai Liu sitting in the chair with those eyes that were silver-blue transitioning into deep blue, stroking his soft hair like a gentle and friendly elder.
“In 658 timelines, you are the derivative of mine that has endured the most malice. So many pursuers hate you, yet I could not give you any help; I could only watch you struggle again and again in the malice given by others.”
“I’m sorry.”
Bai Six suddenly leaned forward and embraced Little Bai Liu. He buried his head in Bai Liu’s frail shoulder, tightly encircling those shoulder blades that were as thin as paper, his voice becoming very serious:
“I’m sorry.”
“In those 658 timeline games, you exceeded my expectations. I indeed harmed many people, but you alone—it was never my intention to toy with you in this game.”
“You are not a game NPC I designed, nor are you a creature evolved from the timelines born from my palm.”
“—You are simply a ‘me’ who has no kindred spirits but possesses a soul.”
Bai Six gently patted the back of the motionless Little Bai Liu, as if comforting a child:
“Long, long ago, when I saw you sneaking into the church to stuff yourself into the arms of the blood-soaked Xie Ta, I was thinking—”
“—If at this time, instead of you distorting yourself into the shape of Xie Ta’s embrace to obtain that bloody and cold hug, someone came to take the initiative to hug you, what would happen to you?”
“If I, as your kindred spirit, came to your side to hug you, what would happen to you?”
“But I could not touch you. However, I thought,” Bai Six’s tone became very, very soft, “He is already a human, he has a soul, he is loving others. One day, he will wait until the person who comes to take the initiative to hug him appears.”
“So I stayed by your side quietly observing, waiting together with you for that person to appear.”
“In these ten years, you have had people fighting alongside you, people looking up to you in faith, people preventing you from going astray, and people being responsible for you. Clearly, so many people surround you—”
“—But there is still no one who comes to take the initiative to hug you.”
“In the eyes of others, you have become an omnipotent god and an atrocious monster, but still, no one treats you as a human.”
“Only me,” Bai Six whispered, “Only I know that you are a human with a soul, a good child who has always been loving others.”
“You are waiting for a hug.”
“I thought humans were a mirror reflecting emotions, and that you, who gave love, would have long since waited for a hug of your own. But I didn’t expect that after you took in so many people, the one who finally gave you a hug was still me.”
*(T/N: Such a manipulative bastard. Take your apologies and choke on them Bai Six.)*
Bai Liu stared with eyes devoid of any emotion. He looked at Tawil behind the water-patterned wall, who was like a cold statue. He saw his fourteen-year-old self reflected in Tawil’s eyes—curled into a ball sitting on the chair, held by the shoulders by Bai Six.
Bai Liu opened his dry mouth and said very lightly with the shape of his lips: [Xie Ta].
Tawil stared with emotionless silver-blue eyes and did not respond to him.
Then, very slowly, very slowly, a single tear fell from Bai Liu’s wide-open eyes. He heard Bai Six say in a voice like a soft sigh:
“Become my successor, my child.”
“This is your final destination.”
>[System Warning: Player Bai Liu’s Mental Value is about to drop to zero! Warning! Warning!!]
—
Author’s Note:
Bai Six is currently inducing and deceiving Bai Liu; everyone, please do not be fooled.
—
*(T/N: We know, author. I don’t think a single reader actually thinks Bai Six is being sincere.)*
