Chapter 147: Meeting You in a Dream (1) |
“Damn…! I messed up, I messed up…!”
Returning to my small apartment, I collapsed onto the futon, consumed by intense self-loathing. I was so inept, unable to handle it properly. I scratched my head violently from the stress.
“If she had just nodded back there, Haruka could have been saved…! Why is she suffering so much and refusing to quit her job!?”
In my frustration, I pounded the futon, still regretting the failure of my persuasion.
After all, in this first round world, Haruka and I don’t get to meet that often.
(Making another opportunity to meet Haruka from here on will be quite difficult…)
Meeting, talking, and ultimately being decisively rejected. Haruka probably has nothing more to say, and I can’t imagine her meeting me repeatedly in this state. No matter how much I wrack my brain… one more meeting is probably the limit.
(One more time… with one more contact, persuade Haruka to change her mind and quit the company… Is that really possible?)
But if I don’t accomplish that, Haruka’s destruction will be set in stone.
(As an adult, Haruka will succumb to mental collapse according to fate… And the high school Haruka in the second round world will remain the same…)
Just thinking about it makes cold sweat pour out from every pore in my body. The core of my head throbs intensely, and tears threaten to overflow in the onslaught of despair.
“Is it… impossible…?”
In the end, I’m fundamentally an introverted, weak-willed guy like anyone else. Was it too audacious a hope for someone as average as me to become like the protagonist of a movie, sometimes defying odds to save someone they care about?
“Haruka… I…”
Whether it was due to the disappointment or the thread of tension snapping, my body suddenly grew heavy. And then, due to fatigue, my consciousness gradually faded away…
I fell into a deep sleep.
“Ah…”
I sat in my familiar classroom, in my usual seat. The classroom, bathed in the twilight, was eerily silent, with no one but me.
“A dream…”
In this lucid dream, I mumbled absentmindedly.
Yes, this was just a dream. Unlike the stark, barren space of yesterday, this scene was something I was very accustomed to.
“Heh… Quite considerate to match the setting.”
Just a moment ago, I was an adult walking the streets in a suit. Now, I was wrapped in a school uniform, looking like I did at sixteen.
“But why a school? Could it be an expression of my desire to escape?”
The analysis of my own dream seemed to hit the mark.
Ah, that’s right. I want to return here.
Coming to this second-round, youth-filled school—seeing the sorrow disappear from both myself and the people around me, it made me happy.
In the first-round world, in this school where I just hid and waited for graduation, there were now irreplaceable memories filled with various joys.
(…In all of those memories, Haruka is there. I really want to save her…)
But, if things continue like this, neither Haruka nor I, who care for her, can avoid destruction.
I still haven’t overcome this trial of time loops, as if I were collecting the price of a miracle.
I’m too inept to dispel this despair. It’s just filled with sorrow and helplessness inside me.
“Heh… but there’s really no sign of anyone around. Even though it’s my dream, it’s kind of scary.”
Muttering an impression that no one will hear—I turned around and…
“――That’s right. But it’s got a bit of a mysterious atmosphere, and I don’t mind it.”
“Eh…?”
I turned to acknowledge the figure, and my thoughts went completely blank.
Because, there, was the person I most wanted to meet right now.
Long, glossy hair like silk, skin as fair as milk, and eyes like gemstones—my beloved, with a pure heart akin to an angel.
Haruka, in a high school uniform, stood there.
“…Haru…ka…? Haruka…!”
“Eek…!”
My emotions ran wild, and without any shame, I rushed towards Haruka and held her slender body tightly.
Even though it was said to be a dream, I could feel the definite warmth emanating from the girl’s body. Just that alone told me that moisture was being brought to my parched heart.
Ah, it’s Haruka…! Even if it’s a temporary illusion… Haruka is right in front of me now…!”
“A-a-a…! S-Shinichiro-kun!? W-What’s wrong!?”
“What’s wrong? What do you think…?!”
I held her tightly, suppressing the sobs that threatened to escape.
Since high schooler Haruka collapsed, I persistently visited her, seeing her face every day, a living semblance of death.
I know this is a dream――but still, having cheerful Haruka by my side, calling me Shinichiro-kun, it fills my heart to the brim with joy.
And so, I continued to embrace her for a while…
“Ah… you’re already going to stop?”
“…Sorry. I got carried away and hugged you.”
Noticing that I was clinging to her like a child, Haruka looked at me with an amused smile, and following the rapidly rising shame, I released my hold on her.
Seeing me like this, Haruka chuckled.
“Ahaha, even in a dream, Shinichiro-kun is quite the gentleman.”
“No, even in a dream, suddenly hugging a girl isn’t very gentlemanly…”
Such a familiar, casual exchange made me tear up involuntarily.
Ah, that’s right. I want to reclaim this.
I want to make this warmth, not just a dream, but a reality that won’t be lost.
“No, I was a bit surprised, but I wouldn’t mind at all if it’s you, Shinichiro-kun. More importantly…”
With a smile, Haruka suddenly wrapped her arms around my neck.
The soft touch of her supple skin and the sweet scent of a young girl enveloped me, and even the vivid warmth that felt far from a dream was transmitted.
“Ha, Haruka…!?”
“Shinichiro-kun, you seem really tired, don’t you?”
While gently embracing me, Haruka began to stroke my head with her hands like whitefish, just like a mother would affectionately do to her child.
“Even in a dream, I can’t just leave you alone when you have that expression, Shinichiro-kun. So… at least let me do this.”
Haruka, who spoke kind words while bringing warmth to me, seemed nothing short of an angel.
And so, with the compassion of an angel, my heart was filled with profound tranquility.
The murky sediment that resembled black, turbid water seemed to turn into a clear, flowing stream.
(To bring Haruka into my own dreams and have her hug me… it’s something I can’t really tell the real her, but… it really is soothing…)
“Hehe, even if I do something like this on my own in a dream, I think I’m being a bit forward… but since it’s a dream, it’s fine, right?”
“…Hm?”
Suddenly, when I looked, even as Haruka held me in her arms, she had a mischievous smile on her face, something she rarely showed.
“Hehe… to be honest, I’ve been wanting to touch you, Shinichiro-kun, for a while.”
As if doing something like this in her own room with no one around, Haruka began to confess something outrageous, her cheeks dyed a deep red.
“Lately, I’ve been spending more time with you, Shinichiro-kun, like when we’re working part-time together… but somehow, I want to goof around and hug each other like girls do, and maybe pat your cheeks and stuff…”
…Is it possible that this Haruka is mixed with some strange desire from my subconscious?
Even though she’s a character in a dream, it feels a bit strange…
“I-If I say something like this, I’ll definitely be disliked by the real Shinichiro-kun, so this is just off the record for in the dream!”
“Ah, no… Even if you come out with it in reality, I’d be happy, not to mention disliking you.”
“I-Is that so!? Aren’t you giving me answers that are too convenient for me, even for the Shinichiro-kun in my dream!?”
For me, this Haruka is the character in my dream, but the person herself calls me a character from a dream.
Somehow, it’s truly a confusing and peculiar situation.
TLN: Likely no chapter tomorrow. I will be out of town, but I will refill the queue thursday.