Chapter 12: Florida Man Worshiped for Being Righteous Scammer |
'No mistaking it! He's a cultivator from a higher realm! But…'
Several questions remained unanswered. Wu Buyi couldn't tell if Leo had further ulterior motives other than stealing cultivators' lifespan.
Nothing beat information from the source. Wu Buyi directly asked him.
"Which sect or cult are you from, Daoist Florida Man."
Leo paused. As he had no background, he couldn't say that he came from an organization. Still, for the sake of rapport, Leo decided to be honest.
"I'm alone, mister. I'm not from a sect or religion."
"So, you must be a rogue cultivator," Wu Buyi made progress. He probed further. "Are you cultivating life force? Is that why you need my lifespan?"
Leo was annoyed as this customer asked too much. Still, he wore a friendly mask and came up with an excuse.
"I'm just a wandering weed merchant. I always carry these and exchange them for lifespan. Also…"
Unaware of the mutation in the trash bin, Leo leisurely showed the piece of jelly bone, "I can also extract these things from monsters. Want some?"
When Leo picked the black jelly bones out, Wu Buyi was surprised by their aura and smell. He walked closer to get a better look, "Can I see it?"
Leo was kind. He let Wu Buyi examine it.
As soon as Wu Buyi sniffed it, he instantly identified the thing.
'Fenrir's bone marrow essence? Where did he get this from?! This is the key ingredient of supreme bone nourishing pills that can even help a patient regenerate their lost limbs!'
Fire in Wu Buyi's eyes was ignited. He rushed to the trash bin and noticed the pool of black blood, black innards, and similar bones in there. He almost vomited blood.
'Fenrir's fresh blood, intestines, heart, and even liver?! Such precious ingredients are piling into this container? Why?! Doesn't this guy know what they can be used for? The heart can be made into dantian enhancement pills to expand one's Qi volume. Fenrir Intestine and Liver are the main ingredients of earth-grade antidotes, and they can even cure rotten flesh! Even the blood can be consumed raw to replenish one's lost blood and Qi. Oh, dear lord. What a waste!'
The alchemist's eyes were bloodshot. He coughed several times, suppressing his spiking blood pressure, excitement, and frustration.
Wu Buyi's voice cracked, "Don't you know the value of these precious ingredients, fellow Daoist?"
Leo shrugged as he didn't think much of it. At the end of the day, these organs would turn into fertilizer for CAT.
"They're just cat food for me."
Once again, Wu Buyi coughed several times because of the heartache. Still, unlike Han Meng or Gao Yan, he suppressed his greed and maintained his clear mind.bdel.o
"Is this a joke, fellow Daoist Florida Man?! Are you testing me just like you did to my junior?"
Hearing that Wu Buyi know the previous customer, Leo brightly smiled. He thought to himself.
'Indeed, words of mouth and viral are the best marketing method! I guess I need to calm this male Karen first and get on his good side. Then, I can scam him for more lifespan!'
Leo stroked his beard and snickered, "That was not a joke, mister. They have no value to me. But if you really need those things in my trash can, I'll sell everything to you."
"R-Really?!" Wu Buyi's heart almost skipped a beat. He wondered how much Leo would demand such precious ingredients.
"Of course. However…"
Leo hesitated. As the innards, blood, heart, liver, and bones gave him no lifespan, he had nothing to compare its value. Thus, he couldn't think of a proper price tag.
Since Leo couldn't come up with the right price, he pushed the task to Wu Buyi. He tested the alchemist for real.
"I'll let you name the price, mister. But bear in mind, I only need your lifespan. I don't need your money."
"…"
Wu Buyi gulped and gazed at the content in the bin, calculating how many rare pills he could get from these ingredients. He also wondered what expressions his alchemist colleagues would have when they see those precious medicines.
Fame
Glory
Reputation
Thinking of the rewards he could potentially earn, Wu Buyi's blood pressure was over 200. His face reddened, and he sensed a throbbing pain in his neck and throat.
Even though Wu Buyi was overwhelmed by greed and ambition, he was sober enough to think of the consequences of this deal. Since Leo allowed him to set a price tag, Wu Buyi didn't dare to take advantage of this opportunity.
'This is clearly a test for me. Alright. Let's think this through. He came from a higher realm. His aura is the same as the sect master, but he has no natural Qi pressure of a soul formation stage. Well, since he's from a higher plane, his cultivation method might be so unique and mysterious to the point that I can't see through his abilities. As for these resources, they might have come from the higher realm as well. But there's one thing I'm curious about. I clearly saw him butchering the wolf and dumping the innards into this bin. Why did they turn into the mythical beast Fenrir's innards? Could it be…? Oh, right. He must have noticed my arrival, so he must have swapped the regular innards with the Fenrir's one to test me! Dammit. I'm so dumb!'
After a long train of thought, Wu Buyi made a decision.
"Two hundred years!" The alchemist declared.
"Two hundred?"
On the other hand, Leo was surprised. He thought that he would get at best 10 years or so from the trash. He raised one of his eyebrows in amusement.
Seeing Leo's complex expression, Wu Buyi broke a sweat. He thought that his offer was too low.
"Scrap that. Three hundred!"
"Huh? Three hundred?"
Again, Leo was stunned. His widened eyes were round, and he tilted his head to the side, giving Wu Buyi a meaningful look.
Noticing the change of expression, Wu Buyi sweated profusely.
'Was that not enough? Hold on a second. How could three hundred years be enough! The Fenrir Wolves are immortal beasts. Only a team of soul-transformation-stage experts can hunt one of them at a time. Of course, considering the expedition resources, 300 years of lifespan is an insult!'
Wu Buyi looked at his remaining lifespan in the floating menu. His breaths were ragged and short as he made the most important decision in his life.
'Screw it. What's the point of living 800 years?! If I'm at wit's end, I can just borrow one of the immortal grasses from Gao Yan or Han Hao to extend my lifespan! I must give it my all!'
Finally, Wu Buyi made his final offer.
"800 years! I'll give you all I have!"
"…"
Leo blinked several times and rechecked Wu Buyi's lifespan again.
'He has 852 years to live, but he's throwing 800 years for the trash? Is he retarded?'
Although Leo needed lifespan to upgrade his store and improve his life quality, his mortal integrity stopped him from stripping this man of his precious lifespan. He purposely counteroffered to make it less painful.
Leo shook his head, "I'm not going to take advantage of you. I'll only take 500 years."
"EH?!"
Wu Buyi's knees suddenly lost all strength. He fell on his butt and looked at Leo, wondering if he passed Leo's test.
Leo continued, "Look at me. Someone like me can't possibly open a shop in the middle of a city. If I do, people will die because of radiation poisoning. I also can't afford to let you run out of lifespan. I still need you to spread the word about my store, you know. Well, since you've shown me your sincerity, I can't let you leave empty-handed. Take the weed with you."
After saying that, Leo shoved the armful of grasses to Wu Buyi and quickly finished the deal, taking 500 years from Wu Buyi's pool.
Meanwhile, Wu Buyi gazed at the bundle of black grasses. Counting them with his eyes, there were more than what Gao Yan and Han Hao had. A few pills made from one leaf were enough to recover his life force!
The alchemist was moved to tears.
'Not only do you bestow me precious ingredients, but you also give me a way to restore my lifespan. Lord Florida Man, you are indeed a righteous cultivator! Someone as kind as you can't possibly be from an evil sect! I was stupid. I should have believed in Gao Yan and Han Meng from the beginning!'
Wu Buyi slowly lowered his head and kowtowed.
"I swear with my dao oath. I, Wu Buyi, will never forget this kindness! I will cross mountains, jump into River Styx, or slay any immortal beast for you to return this favor!!"
"…"
Leo's eyes turned into small dots. He blankly stared at Wu Buyi as if he gazed at a weirdo.
'What the hell did he smoke before he come here?'
Awkward, Leo scratched his head and looked around. Then, he noticed that he had a lot of empty land that could be turned into farmland.
'Right. I can't rely on black grasses as the only merchandise. I should try something else, such as vegetables and fruits. How about growing them here? I'll sell both conventional veggies and mutated ones. Maybe these freaks will like it.'
Leo coughed and came up with an idea.
"Actually, I have a favor to ask. I need to buy something from the city. I wonder if I can commission you."
Wu Buyi looked up. His pupils sparkled as if he was an anime character, "Of course! You can count on me! I'll run an errand for you!"
"Err," Leo was taken aback by Wu Buyi's change of attitude. Still, he made his request, "I need some local fruits and vegetables. Oh, do they sell their seeds? I wish to grow some crops here."
"Crops?"
Wu Buyi widely grinned. As an alchemist, he was well-versed in herbs and plants.
'Ah, is he planning to make a spirit farm here? Come to think of it, the forest has turned blue. He must be trying to convert this useless forest into spirit farmland. If I can persuade him to stay here, the Life Sword Sect can get another source of spirit herbs!'
Wu Buyi rubbed his hands like a crooked merchant, "Of course, sir. I'll go get the best quality seeds for you!"
"About the payment," Leo smiled and was about to exchange his lifespan for gold bars. However, Wu Buyi interrupted him.
"No need, sir! I'll take care of everything!"
"…"
Comments 14