Chapter 1196: Guilt and jealousy |
"Unnatural?" Khan wondered, questioning Liiza with his gaze. "Beings like us? Price?"
Liiza revealed a complicated smile, diverting her gaze and stretching her left arm. She stared at it, studying a truth Khan couldn't see. He noticed that something was different, stronger with her, but couldn't pinpoint what.
"I mutated myself past the Niqols," Liiza explained. "I evolved the old ways, finding new, better methods to empower myself through sacrifice. I transcended how my species approaches the mana, turning control into domination."
The emotions in Liiza's gaze were complex and profound, but Khan felt able to recognize them. It wasn't just sadness or resolve. She seemed to be looking at something she had lost willingly to get stronger.
"My touch is colder than any other Niqols," Liiza revealed, meeting Khan's blue light. "I did that when I thought I wouldn't have needed to touch anyone ever again, but you can handle it. Because it's you, and also …"
Liiza finally let go of Khan's head, taking one of his hands on her waist and turning it, exploring its scars with her cold fingers. She couldn't believe how similar Khan's growth had been to hers, but he had much more inside him.
"You have welcomed ancient horrors," Liiza announced, her fingernails experiencing the texture of Khan's skin. "I heard their greed in your flesh. I felt their hunger in your heart."
Liiza then turned, ignoring the falling blanket, to sit on Khan's lap and face him. Khan welcomed her and followed her hand as it slid over his chest.
"You mixed conflicting knowledge," Liiza continued, "Mine and much more. I don't know how you did that, but I feel it. You are no mortal, and neither am I."
"Khan, that is my world," Liiza chuckled, jokingly rebuking Khan with her gaze. "You adopted it, but it was mine to begin with, and it's ours now."
Liiza threw a proud, teasing look at Khan, seemingly waiting for his praise, but he showed one of the dazed gazes that made her lose control of her actions. She ended up kissing him, pushing him down before lying on him.
"What we have is miraculous," Liiza continued once she managed to let go of Khan's lips, placing her elbows at the sides of his head to support her chin. "Magical. It even ignored our different species, but we aren't inconsequential to the universe anymore."
"Because we are strong, we can't have it?" Khan asked, still dazed by the beautiful face above him.
"We shouldn't," Liiza explained, her legs waving up and down. "We should have grown past feelings, evolving into existences that could dismiss them, especially in such pure versions."
Khan wrapped his arms around Liiza's back, trapping her. He sort of understood the wisdom Liiza was disclosing, but his desires were far simpler.
"If you think I'm letting go of you," Khan announced, "Think again."
"[Dummy]," Liiza scolded, smiling happily. "I had to say that."
"I always seem to get there first," Khan teased. "Maybe you aren't as smart as you think."
Liiza could only smile even more hearing those nostalgic lines, her hands leaving her chin to play with Khan's hair. She twisted and linked his blue strands, glad they were finally long enough for her to express some creativity.
"Our unnatural attraction should have gotten in the way of our growth," Liiza stated, not moving her eyes away from Khan's hair. "It should have been enough to fulfill us, but we have found it again after becoming like this. We should have been separated, individual existences, but here we are, together."
That part was easier to fathom. Khan had been able to follow Liiza from the beginning, but her last words brought a more comprehensive understanding.
Evolved warriors were unique and solitary beings. They lived through and according to their element, inevitably becoming unsuitable for each other. There were exceptions, but things like familiar affection and other feelings became inconsequential at that level.
It wasn't only a matter of age. Evolved warriors could live longer than ordinary mana-enhanced soldiers, which could create a relatively inhuman scheme of values.
Still, the evolved warriors' superior existence also played an important part. Khan had witnessed that firsthand after completing his training with the toxic pool. Monica became brittle in his eyes, affecting how much he could value her presence.
Instead, Khan and Liiza were the opposite due to their unnatural but miraculous connection. They were extreme, individual forces that could work together on a profoundly deeper level. They were already fearsome on their own, but their combined power was bound to be far greater.
"Back then," Liiza said. "We paid the price through our toxicity, but it's different now. Our separation allowed us to choose to be together, but also brought a new price."
"How do we pay it?" Khan asked, and Liiza threw him a scolding glance. She didn't know how much longer she could resist his appealing resolve, and wanted to end that explanation first.
"It's not a transaction," Liiza sighed. "It's something we must carry. For you, your guilt. For me, my jealousy."
Khan's eyes went wide. Obviously, the couple couldn't ignore the past ten years, but he had never considered them in those terms.
Yet, Liiza knew better. She had always known more about those mystical topics, so it only took her a few interactions to understand how things were.
Of course, Liiza was right. Khan's guilt was vivid in his mind. He blamed himself for betraying Liiza and hated how he had been unable to give the other women in his life the happiness they deserved. No one could change the past, so the issue had no solution. Khan could only carry that feeling, and Liiza seemed in a similar situation.
Khan didn't know what to do, so his brain defaulted to the Niqols' ways. One of his hands climbed through Liiza's back and reached her head, pulling it down to make it nestle on his neck. If Khan couldn't solve the issue, he would endure it with Liiza's cold invading him.
"Because of this," Liiza spoke, her lips releasing cold breath on Khan's neck. "I have a favor to ask."
"Anything," Khan immediately promised.
"To love you again," Liiza announced, "To love you fully, I must know the extent of my jealousy."
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