Chapter 107: Reported for Bribery! |
“Please, spare me.” Lu Xu ran his fingers through his hair, causing it to spring up in a tangled mess. “Quit being so stubborn.”
Yu Xiao let out a snort, a wicked grin playing on her lips. “Stubborn? Me? I’m just being realistic. Your pretend generosity doesn’t fool anyone.”
Lu Xu put on his most innocent expression. “Pretend? How can you say that? I’m just trying to be nice. Thought we could tackle the dungeon together, lighten the load, and have some fun. We’re all in this mess, right?”
Rolling her eyes, Yu Xiao flicked her wrist dismissively. “Spare me, Lu Xu. I’m not buying it. Take your ‘nice’ act and shove it. I’m out.”
“Wait, wait, wait!” Lu Xu groaned, snatching his phone that had been sitting on a speaker. “Okay, okay, fine. I’ll tell you the truth.”
In the ward, Luo Jin watched the drama unfold with deadpan glee. He popped some melon seeds into his mouth, crunching away noisily.
Lu Xu shot him a dirty look and cleared his throat. “So, here’s the deal. We did get a team card. But it’s kind of a waste to use it on ourselves. We thought we’d do some good deeds and help out some poor souls who might have trouble with the instances.”
“Uh-huh,” Yu Xiao said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “And what’s in it for you?”
Lu Xu hesitated. “…A tool card.”
Lu Xu shook his head. “It’s not that simple. You don’t know much about items, do you? They’re not all beneficial. Some can really mess you up. They don’t need that kind of trouble. It’s better to swap them for something more suitable.”
Yu Xiao sounded puzzled over the phone. “But why do you want an useless item?”
Lu Xu grinned, feeling a touch smug. “We have upgrade cards. Some items might seem useless at first, but once you upgrade them, they become invaluable.”
“Ah, I get it now,” Yu Xiao said, as if a light bulb had just switched on. She thought of her own Coin of Great Observation, initially a joke, but after upgrading, it became a different type of joke.
“You catch on quick, smart cookie,” Lu Xu praised, laying it on thick. “Next time you snag a team card, you can do the same.”
“Hmph,” Yu Xiao scoffed, lounging back on the bed. “You’re just using us as bait. Why should I do your dirty work?”
“Dirty work? Come on, don’t be like that. You know I’m right. Teaming up from two wards makes the dungeon run smoother,” Lu Xu said, a twinge of guilt creeping in. He chuckled nervously. “Or shall we make a deal?”
“I want a prop.” She rolled on the bed.
“No way!” Lu Xu rejected her. “We only get one prop. If we give you another one, we’ll be the ones doing the dirty work.”
“Fine then,” Yu Xiao said, rolling her eyes. “See you around, maybe.”
“Wait, wait, wait!” Lu Xu shouted. “How about two function cards? They’re one-time use only!”
“There are three of us, and you’re offering two?”
“Three cards!” Lu Xu said firmly. “Take it or leave it.”
Yu Xiao pressed her phone to her chest and looked at Zhao Lan and Zhou Xiao Zhen. “Lu Xu and Luo Jin have a proposition for us. They want us to join them for the instance raid, along with three suckers who are paying them for the ride. They say they’ll give us each a functional card, one-time use only. What do you say?”
Zhou Xiao Zhen shrugged. “Sure, why not?”
Zhao Lan nodded. “It’s not like we can avoid the instances anyway. And they’re not half bad at fighting. Plus, we could use some extra cards. I’m game.”
“Okay then,” Yu Xiao said, lifting her phone to her ear. “We’re in, but only if the cards are worth it. My sisters are picky, you know. We just got out of a dungeon and we were planning to chill for a while.”
Lu Xu felt a surge of deja vu. Wasn’t that his usual line when he was haggling? He sighed, thinking that business was getting harder these days.
He glanced at Luo Jin, who was munching on melon seeds and enjoying the show. He said, “Quit being a jerk and hand over your cards.”
Luo Jin reluctantly pulled out a bunch of cards and gave them to Lu Xu. Lu Xu sounded bored. “Alright, listen up. Just tell me what cards you want. We have A Lovey-Dovey card, a Flirty card, a Health Boost card, an Invincibility card, a Ghost Transformation card, an Admiration card…”
Yu Xiao’s ears perked up, as she heard the names of the cards. They had quite a stash, those two. She had to admit, they knew how to have fun. She could learn a thing or two from them.
She listened for a bit longer, then turned to Zhao Lan and Zhou Xiao Zhen. “So, what cards do you want?”
She gasped, as she saw their faces. They looked like kids in a candy store.
“What do you think?” Zhou Xiao Zhen said, licking her lips. “What’s the plan?”
“I want the invincibility card. That one sounds badass,” Zhao Lan said, her eyes shining.
“Then I’ll take the ghost transformation card. That one sounds cool… and handy,” Zhou Xiao Zhen said.
“Okay, we’re set,” Yu Xiao said, talking to Lu Xu on the phone. “We want an invincibility card, the ghost transformation card, and the fondness card.”
“Fine.” Lu Xu agreed, since they had made up their minds. “Do you want me to mail them to you, or wait until we meet up?”
“Mail them to me,” Yu Xiao said, without hesitation. “I don’t trust you until I have the cards in my hands. I’m young, you know. You could be scamming me.”
“…”
Lu Xu felt his reputation crumbling. He had no choice but to mail the cards to them before inviting them to the team.
After she hung up the phone, Zhao Lan turned to her friends with a curious look. “So is it true? We can join them in the next instance.”
“Absolutely,” Yu Xiao said, grinning. “They have these special cards that let you team up with anyone. They call them team-up cards. Pretty clever, huh? They use them to help out newbies and get rewards.”
Zhou Xiao Zhen’s eyes widened with envy. “You mean you can get a prize just for one round? That sounds too easy. I wouldn’t trade my mahjong set for anything, even if someone promised me ten wins in a row.”
She sounded as clueless as Yu Xiao had been before, so Yu Xiao filled her in on what Lu Xu had said. Zhou Xiao Zhen’s face lit up. “So why don’t we do the same thing?”
Zhao Lan gave a noncommittal shrug. “Well, in theory, we could. But we don’t have any team-up cards, do we?”
That was the tricky part. Team-up cards were hard to come by.
But then Yu Xiao remembered something. She still had a duplicator card!
“Wait a minute!” She rummaged through her pockets and pulled out the card, her eyes sparkling. “What if I use this to copy a team-up card? That should work, right?”
“Yes, yes, yes!” Zhao Lan and Zhou Xiao Zhen cheered.
Yu Xiao wasted no time and dialled Lu Xu’s number. He picked up after a few rings, sounding busy. “Yeah, yeah, the ‘Deaf Descendant’ is on board. You’ll get to meet the real deal. Talismans? Sure, you can buy some. She always has a bunch of them for sale. You know how it is at the Sixth Hospital, they’re dirt poor, and even if they have some good stuff, nobody can afford it…”
“Sorry, guys, I have to take this. It’s the ‘Deaf Descendant’.” He answered the other phone. “Hey, Deaf sis, what’s the occasion?”
“Did you ship our stuff yet?”
“Sure did,” Lu Xu said. “We’re not slackers, you know. We deliver fast and furious.”
“Uh-huh,” Yu Xiao said. “Well, we have another request. We need a team card.”
Lu Xu snorted. “No can do. We only have one of those, and we’re not giving it away. Even if we had a spare, we wouldn’t let you have it. You’re getting too greedy, girl. If you want a team card, you better start praying.”
Yu Xiao shrugged. “No need. I have a duplicate card.”
Lu Xu was stunned. He didn’t say anything for a whole minute. “…And what are you trying to say?”
Yu Xiao smiled. “Just that you should send us your team card, too. Come on, I’m a trustworthy person. I’ll give it back to you after I make a copy.”
Lu Xu couldn’t believe his ears. He hung up the phone, shaking his head. “What the hell? How did she get a duplicate card? That’s some crazy luck.”
Luo Jin was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He propped his hands behind his head and said out of the blue, “I’ve never seen a duplicate card in my life.”
Lu Xu slumped on the chair, a gloomy look on his face. “Who has?” he said. “It’s like a legend. I’ve never seen one in real life.”
**
Yu Xiao ended the call and hopped out of bed, throwing on a white coat.
“Where are you off to, Smiley?” Zhou Xiao Zhen asked, puzzled. “Are you working at St. Elizabeth’s today too?”
“Nope,” Yu Xiao said, fastening her coat. “I owe the delivery girl some goodies. I don’t want to piss off the ghost.”
And with that, she was gone from the ward, popping up at St. Elizabeth’s. She snatched a random nurse who was walking by. “Where’s Tie Niu?”
The nurse, who had been chatting with her colleagues about the scandalous news story featuring Yu Xiao that morning, felt her heart, which had been still for a while, start to race again. She shook her head furiously, trying to say she had no idea.
Yu Xiao shoved the nurse away and made a beeline for the operating room.
**
George, who was on the phone in his office, felt a chill run down his spine as Yu Xiao approached. His eyes flickered for a second. When he realised Yu Xiao wasn’t after him, he let out a breath of relief.
The voice on the phone sounded like a news anchor. “So, you’re saying you want to report the staff for taking bribes from the patient known as the ‘Deaf Descendant’, the Dean of Saint Elizabeth’s?”
“Yep,” George said, not missing a beat. He added, “And make sure you keep my name out of it. I’m reporting anonymously.”
“Got it. Your report has been filed. Stay tuned for the hospital’s morning news.”
**
Yu Xiao tracked down Tie Niu in the cafeteria, where he was busy grilling some pork loin. Yu Xiao felt a surge of gratitude. If only she could, she would kick George to the curb and make Tie Niu her attending doctor.
“Tie Niu,” Yu Xiao said sincerely, “You’re doing a great job.”
Tie Niu bowed slightly, without being obsequious. “Madam Dean, it’s an honour to serve you.”
“You’re awesome, I trust you.” Yu Xiao gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder and eyed the stove. “Is the pork loin done? I’ll take one for the road.”
**
Yu Xiao made her way back to the ward, where Zhou Xiao Zhen was crouching by the door, chatting with someone outside. “Hang in there, Smiley will be here soon. She went to get you a surprise… Smiley? Smiley’s here!”
Zhou Xiao Zhen jumped up. “The delivery girl’s here too. I bet you have a lot to talk to her about. Why don’t you keep her company for a bit before she leaves?”
Yu Xiao held a plate of sizzling pork ribs and headed for the door. She leaned in and whispered, “You’re in luck. These ribs are fresh off the grill. Want a bite?”
The sound of ravenous chewing came from outside the door, followed by the delivery girl’s voice, sweeter than honey. “You’re such a sweetheart, the best living soul I’ve ever met.”
Yu Xiao smiled, feeling a bit weird about getting a compliment from a ghost who just ate human flesh. “Friends should be nice to each other, that’s my motto. By the way, have you heard anything from the old delivery guy?”
“Him? Chief Cerberus tried to get him on his security team, but he said no,” the delivery girl said, licking her fingers, “He’s got some crazy idea of becoming an NPC in a dungeon. I don’t get it. Out of all the jobs, being an NPC is the worst. You have to compete with everyone else for the good roles. It’s much better to just do deliveries at the hospital.”
Yu Xiao listened to the delivery girl’s rant, wondering if he was making a trap for her. She felt a pang of unease, “Thanks, that’s very useful information.”
“My pleasure,” the delivery girl licked her lips, “Hey, can you get me some thighs next time? I love the meat on thighs, it’s nice and juicy.”
“Sure thing,” Yu Xiao said, “And feel free to drop by Saint Elizabeth’s anytime.”
Yu Xiao waved goodbye to the delivery girl and ripped open the package. Inside, she found three shiny function cards.
Zhao Lan picked up her invincibility card and examined it carefully. “What does invincibility even mean?”
“Maybe it means you can sock the attending doctor in the face and get away with it,” Zhou Xiao Zhen joked. “A ghost card. How do you think it feels to be a ghost?”
Yu Xiao shrugged. She had gone for the fondness card this time. She figured that fondness, affection, and love were different things. Fondness was when you liked something a lot, like chocolate or puppies. Affection was when you liked someone a lot, like your friends or family. Love was when you liked someone so much, you wanted to kiss them and stuff. Fondness seemed safer, less likely to mess things up.
“All we need now is the team-up card,” Yu Xiao said, looking at her phone. A few seconds later, it rang.
“I really want to live for another five hundred years~…”
“Who’s calling?” She checked the screen and saw it was from the Medical Dispute Office. Yu Xiao felt a jolt of panic. Why would they call me? I haven’t done anything wrong lately, have I?
Yu Xiao picked up the phone, her voice shaky. “Hello? What can I do for you?”
“Good day, this is the Medical Disputes Office. We have a situation here. Today we got five anonymous reports accusing you of bribing hospital staff in the instance. Is that true?”
“That’s bullshit!” (ʘдʘ╬) Yu Xiao yelled, her eyes wide. “They’re trying to ruin me for no reason!”
“Please, calm down, we’re only doing our job. Since there are five reports against you, we have to…”
“They’re all out to get me!” Yu Xiao cut them off. “I know who they are, you don’t have to tell me. It’s George, Gu Shu, Lolita, Qing Shi, and some delivery guy I don’t even know, right?”
“…You’re right, those are the names.”
“They’re all jealous of me, they’re plotting against me.” Yu Xiao fumed, “Let me tell you what happened: I was on a mission at the Sage Hospital. You know the drill there, right? To get answers, you have to give the entities in the ward what they want. They wanted meat, so I gave them some. How is that bribery?”
“Hmm… I’ll check the records.”
“I’m so hurt, I was nice to them, I thought we were friends. But they all hate me so much, they’ve ganged up on me.” Yu Xiao tried to squeeze out some tears. “George got hurt, and I even took his shift for him, and this is how he thanks me. I want to know, is there any penalty for framing someone like that?”
**
Yu Xiao hung up the phone and dabbed at the fake tears in her eyes. She looked around and asked, “Is the team card here yet?”
“Knock, knock, knock!” A sugary voice came from outside the door. “Guess who’s back with more goodies~”
The team card looked different from the other function cards. It had a grid on the back, with nine squares.
“So, we just need to write our nicknames, and we’re good to go, right?” Zhao Lan peered at the team card. “We can fit up to nine people on one team, right?”
Yu Xiao nodded. Luo Jin had told them before the team card showed up that they didn’t have to return it; they just had to fill in their nicknames.
The three clients they were supposed to team up with had some interesting nicknames: Sky City, Eternal God of Hemp, and My Husband is Di Jia.
“Luo Jin said we’ll get a message on the forum once we write the nicknames. If anyone wants to bail, they can say no,” Yu Xiao said as she scribbled the eight names.
“I got the message!” Zhou Xiao Zhen checked her phone.
The square for ‘Braised Egg Girl 438’ on the back of the team card lit up and turned green. Soon, all the squares except Yu Xiao’s were green.
“Pretty cool,” Yu Xiao said as she hit agree. She still had one team card with a blank square, which she had copied with a duplicate card.
Yu Xiao hadn’t even teamed up with anyone yet, but she was already thinking about who to recruit for the next round.
Lu Xu’s call interrupted her thoughts. “Hey, just a heads-up, we’re good to go. Be ready, we’re hitting the instance bright and early.”
“Sure thing.”
Lu Xu went on, “Don’t worry, I’m not always a jerk. I have a client here who needs a big shot to guide them through an instance. Want to take the gig?”
“Well… I’m tempted,” Yu Xiao said. “But…”
“Having second thoughts?” Lu Xu’s voice taunted, “Need some help? Luo and I are happy to lend a hand. But nothing’s free in this world. We’ll need those talismans~”
“We’ll see,” Yu Xiao dodged, keeping her cards close to her chest. “We’ll be ready, later.”
She hung up and said, “We’re going into the instance tomorrow morning, let’s hit the sack early tonight.”
“They have everything under control at Fourth Hospital,” Zhou Xiao Zhen mused. “While we’re still struggling to get things off the ground at Sixth Hospital. Or rather, we haven’t even started.”
“It’ll get better,” Yu Xiao set up her lazy desk, planning to draw more talismans. “Tomorrow’s instance might be a real pain in the ass.”
Zhao Lan let out a sigh. “This kind of information gap is a gold mine,” she said. “I wish I could have done this when I was still at the company…”
Zhou Xiao Zhen sprawled on the bed and asked, “Why do you say that? Misty, aren’t you loaded? You can even afford to be a sugar mommy!
“Don’t say it like that. Who doesn’t want more money? Besides…” Zhao Lan reached over and flicked Zhou Xiao Zhen’s forehead hard. “Who’s a sugar mommy! It’s called sponsoring! Do you know what sponsoring means?
Zhou Xiao Zhen, rubbing her head, said, “Okay, okay, I get it. Will you get more sugar babies in the future?”
Zhao Lan: “…”
Yu Xiao snickered and checked the forum before drawing symbols. She was just killing time, but she found a post about herself.
【Going to raid the dungeon with the ‘Deaf Descendant’ tomorrow.】
【The OP used an item to buy a spot on the ‘Whispering Monk”s team. And the ‘Whispering Monk’ told me he already got Zhuge and the ‘Deaf Descendant’ from the Sixth Hospital. I’ll probably meet Dragon Sister tomorrow~~~
And I’ll buy a bunch of talismans from the ‘Deaf Descendant’, so if you want any, hit me up. I’ll sell them for five points each…】
【Holy crap, OP’s raking it in!】
【Why didn’t I think of that?】
【The ‘Whispering Monk’ knows Dragon Sister?】
【Me! Me! I need talismans!】
【Don’t you remember? Dragon Sister and Zhuge raided a dungeon together before. Dragon Sister is the village chief’s wife, and Zhuge and the ‘Whispering Monk’ are his side pieces.】
【……】
Damn! Yu Xiao was stunned, feeling like she’d been ripped off.
So, this is what they mean by, “what goes around comes around,” huh?
Sweating, Yu Xiao worked harder to draw talismans; otherwise, she might run out tomorrow.
**