Chapter 39: A chain Reaction to the Morning News |
“…The old walls of St. Elizabeth Psychiatric Hospital got a fresh coat of paint, and the rusty gates have been oiled and polished. Soon, the hospital would welcome back its old and new guests, eager to cure their troubled minds…
…Meanwhile, at the Sixth Hospital, a sign was posted on the kitchen door: ‘Wanted: Meal Delivery Person. No experience or skills required. Just a strong stomach and a brave heart. Apply within.’…
…In other news, the Gu Family Village was in turmoil. The venerable Dr. Gu, who had been treating the villagers for decades, had suddenly resigned. The village was now looking for a new attending doctor… preferably with over forty years of experience…
…”
The three friends listened to the radio report with disbelief.
Zhou Xiao Zhen turned to Yu Xiao and asked, “Is this the same Gu Family Village we visited? What made Dr. Gu quit?”
Yu Xiao shrugged. She was just a regular patient at the Sixth Hospital, or so she thought. But something in her gut told her that she had a connection to the village. A connection she would rather deny.
“Maybe it’s a different village,” she said. “Stop asking questions and pay attention to the radio.”
“Yesterday, the Third Hospital announced its latest rankings, and a patient with the nickname ‘Brother Legend’ rose to the top. Let’s give him a round of applause…
Yu Xiao’s face fell as she heard the last part. Village Chief’s Little Mistress? Did that mean that either Lu Xun or Luo Jin was ‘Zhuge Liang burning the Spider Web Cave’? And that she had been pretending to be someone else in front of the real owner…
“…And now, for some breaking news. The patient who calls himself ‘Whispering Monk’ has distinguished himself in yesterday’s treatment, and has been awarded the honourable title of ‘Village Chief’s Little Concubine.’ Let’s congratulate him.”
“Holy Cow.”
Hearing that, Yu Xiao saw Zhou Xiao Zhen gasp, like she had just figured out something bad.
“Furthermore, we have another remarkable achievement to report. The patient who is known as ‘Deaf Descendant’ from the Sixth Hospital has once again surpassed all expectations. Let us extend our warmest commendations to her. She has excelled in the treatment and has obtained three splendid titles: ‘Shit-Hole Destroyer,’ ‘Ghostly Soul Destroyer,’ and ‘Village Chief’s Wife.’ Let us applaud her with enthusiasm…”
Clap, clap, clap…
Seriously? There was actually applause? Yu Xiao turned around and spotted Zhao Lan and Zhou Xiao Zhen clapping like crazy.
“Smiley, you’re my hero,” Zhou Xiao Zhen said sincerely, “for evermore.”
Zhao Lan sighed, “Getting three titles at once, I bet you’re going to be famous again.”
Yu Xiao had the same feeling, but she thought it had more to do with the content of the titles than the quantity.
“…Moreover, the patient who bears the nickname of ‘Braised Egg Girl 438’ has performed admirably in yesterday’s treatment, and has earned the illustrious title of ‘Village Chief’s Concubine.’”
“…The patient who is called ‘Nickname Hassle’ has also shone in yesterday’s treatment, and has received the prestigious title of ‘Village Chief’s Concubine.’ Let us congratulate her…”
After the news ended, the ward went quiet for a long time.
At last, Zhao Lan broke the silence, summing up with a cup in her hands, “This piece of news… has a lot of info.”
Yu Xiao nodded, “They’re lying; they’re not from the Fifth Ward at all.”
Zhou Xiao Zhen licked her dry lips and said in a low voice, “Smiley, we can’t exactly point fingers at them, can we?”
Zhao Lan let out a weary sigh. “It’s a game of lies and secrets, that’s all. No harm done. The real problem is, we’ve been posing as Fourth Institute folks, and Smiley here has been impersonating one of them. That’s awkward as hell.”
Yu Xiao shuddered as she remembered the eerie grin on Lu Xun’s face. It reminded her of the time she lied to her teacher about her homework, saying her dog had devoured it, only to have her mom show up and expose her in front of everyone.
“I want to crawl into a hole,” Yu Xiao buried her face in her hands.
“Smiley, come on. Look on the bright side. We’ll never see them again, right?” Zhou Xiao Zhen boasted, “And I said no to Lu Xun when he wanted my number. How smart am I?”
“…”
Zhou Xiao Zhen: “Why the weird face, Smiley? You look spooked.”
“I…” Yu Xiao covered her face with both hands, “I gave Luo Jin my number.”
“Oh, boy…” Zhou Xiao Zhen, who had read too few books in her life, was at a loss for words.
*
*
Meanwhile, in a ward of the Fourth Institute, Lu Xun slapped his thigh and exclaimed, “They’re from the Sixth Institute!”
Luo Jin kept his mouth shut, but his eyes widened slightly in shock. Lu Xun was baffled, “But they’re all rookies. How do they have so many talismans?”
Luo Jin pondered for a second and said, “Drawing talismans.”
“Right! She’s a talisman master!” Lu Xun paced around the ward with excitement, “And not only can shen draw talismans, she doesn’t seem to mess up often. That’s how she can whip out so many talismans on the spot. Talismans cost a fortune in the mall. If we get cosy with a talisman master, we’ll be rolling in dough… hold on a sec!”
Lu Xun groaned and raked his fingers through his hair, “I didn’t get her numbers. I missed the numbers of all three of them! Oh God!! I had such a golden chance right in front of me, but I wasted it. I’m so full of regret now that it’s gone. If God gives me a do-over, I will surely say to that girl…”
Luo Jin: “I got her number.”
Lu Xun: “?”
Lu Xun: “!!!”
*
*
They weren’t the only ones who were shocked. At that moment, in two different wards of the Fifth Hospital, things went haywire.
“What?” Zuo Qing blinked, “Did I hear that wrong? ‘Deaf Descendant’ is the village chief’s wife?”
Sun Yun replayed everything she had heard just now, along with the events in the village before, and had to break the news to Zuo Qing, “I hate to say it, but you were duped. She’s not your idol at all.”
“Woo, she’s my idol too!” Zuo Qing sobbed, “All the top players are my idols. Boo hoo, no wonder she didn’t give me her number, she thought my only idol was Zhuge Liang!”
“Don’t cry.” Sun Yun tried to console her, “Look at it this way. You got to see two idols at once. Did you catch that, ‘Zhuge Liang burning the Spider Web Cave’ was also in the instance.”
“Woo, that makes me even more miserable…” Zuo Qing was heartbroken, “I still don’t know who ‘Zhuge Liang burning the Spider Web Cave’ was.”
Their sadness was ignored, as Zuo Qing’s post from yesterday on the forum was revived and flooded with new comments.
*
*
【Why is today’s news different from what the OP said?】
【Most of it matches, but there’s one twist.】
【Didn’t they say ‘Zhuge Liang burning the Spider Web Cave’ is the main wife? Why is he the concubine now?】
【Holy crap, that newbie from the Sixth Hospital is amazing, actually beating the top player from the Fourth Hospital.】
【Are you kidding? Both the main wife and the concubine are top players…】
【I get it now. OP was fooled.】
【OP is so pitiful, being fooled by two top players at the same time. LOL.】
【Don’t you guys care about the main thing? Can someone tell me how the title ‘Shit-Hole Destroyer’ was earned…】
*
*
The Fifth Hospital forum was buzzing with this, and Yu Xiao was unaware. She received a call from the Fourth Hospital.
The call connected, and a familiar voice on the other end accused, “You lied to me!”
Yu Xiao put the call on speaker and snapped back in a loud voice, “You lied to us too!”
It was Lu Xun.
Zhou Xiao Zhen asked, “What do you want?”
“Hehe.” Lu Xun wriggled, “We’re so fated, don’t you think? We should stay in touch. It’s been a day, and I miss you guys so much.”
“Huh.” Yu Xiao snorted, “If you keep talking like that, I’ll block you.”
“No, please!” Lu Xun groaned, “You’re such a young girl, why are you so… ruthless in your actions?”
Zhou Xiao Zhen butted in, “Smiley, he was totally about to swear at you just now, but he changed his words at the last second.”
Lu Xun complained, “You’re being unfair!”
“Enough, enough, enough,” Zhao Lan said, fed up with their bickering, “What’s your reason for calling us?”
Lu Xun hesitated for a moment and then said in a low voice, “Zhou Xiao, you can draw talismans, right?”
“…”
The trio felt a mix of emotions at that moment. On one hand, Lu Xun sounded very earnest, and on the other hand, Yu Xiao realised he still didn’t know her real name.
“Uh.” Yu Xiao rubbed the back of her ear, “Yeah, I can draw symbols. And my name isn’t Zhou Xiao, it’s Yu Xiao.”
“…” Lu Xun was quiet for a moment. “In the hospital, everyone goes by nicknames. What’s the point of making up fake names?”
Yu Xiao snorted, “Hmph!”
“Alright,” Lu Xun knew he needed their help now, so he switched his tone, “Let’s introduce ourselves again. I’m Lu Xun, nickname is ‘Whispering Monk’.”
“Huh…”
The three on the other side all scoffed at him. Lu Xun cleared his throat, “Well, it was just a random pick back then. Lao Luo is ‘Zhuge Liang burning the Spider Web Cave’, the one you pretended to be.”
Yu Xiao said, “You know my name and nickname.”
Zhao Lan said, “Zhao Lan, ‘Nickname Hassle’.”
Zhou Xiao Zhen added, “Zhou Xiao Zhen, ‘Braised Egg Girl 438’.”
“So, now that we’re officially acquainted, let’s shake hands virtually.” Lu Xun said, “Yu Xiao, you can draw talismans, and your success rate is not bad. Let’s be frank, we want your talismans.”
Yu Xiao paused, puzzled, “How? We’re not from the same hospital.”
“But deliveries are linked among all hospitals,” Lu Xun laughed, “I admit you’re talented, but you’re still a newbie. There are many things you don’t know. In terms of experience, we veterans from the Fourth Hospital are definitely more savvy. And I can tell you one thing, treatment copies are reusable. Do you know what that means?”
After Lu Xun finished, he heard silence on the other end of the phone. Thinking he had amazed the three newcomers, he smugly continued, “It means that many of the copies we’ve done, you might do in the future. If I share the details of our experiences with you, do you know what that means?”
“Sure,” Zhou Xiao Zhen said, “It’s like having a cheat sheet.”
Zhao Lan added, “I thought he was going to reveal some awesome news, making me nervous for nothing.”
“Me too, I was really nervous,” Yu Xiao spoke into the phone, “I get it now, Lu Xun, you want to benefit from our talismans without giving anything back. You’re really sneaky.”