Chapter 409 |
Side Story (26)
After finishing my overseas schedule and returning home, I was so exhausted from the packed itinerary and the long flight that I passed out as soon as I got to the dorm.
‘Ah, the blanket’s so soft…….’
I must have fallen asleep sprawled out on the living room sofa, because it seemed Yoo Jay and Jo Inchan had changed my clothes and carried me to the bed.
“Whoa, what the. I thought he was a virgin ghost.”1 “That’s hyung. He must’ve been really tired. Normally he never lies down without showering and changing.” “Let’s at least change his clothes. He’s 100% going to snap if he wakes up and realizes he slept in dirty clothes.” “Shoot, I didn’t know Hyung would come back this fast. I already put all his pajamas in the wash.” “Should we just put him in Hwon-hyung’s clothes?”
How do I know it was those two who moved me?
I’ve never been able to sleep deeply. No matter how quiet they tried to be, they kept touching me, so there was no way I wouldn’t wake up.
“But won’t he be cold like this? He gets cold easily to begin with.” “If we warm the bed and put a thick blanket on him, he should be fine.”
I did wake up briefly, but I was so exhausted that I fell right back asleep.
After sleeping for about four hours, a lot longer than usual, I heard a light jingling sound above my head.
‘…I didn’t set an alarm. What’s with the bell sound?’
I’m an extremely light sleeper, so my phone is set to vibrate only. Which means the sound ringing nonstop could only mean that one of the members forgot to turn off their alarm and was sprawled out asleep.
“Turn off the alarm……”
With my eyes still closed, I flailed my arm across the bed.
Usually, if I do this, my hand bumps into someone and they groggily start to stir. But the only thing my fingertips brushed against was a bamboo-hugging pillow plushie the fans had given me.
The members weren’t there.
Realizing that, I scowled deeply and sat up in bed.
“Good morning, Bocchan.”2
What?
I heard a line that sounded like it belonged right in the middle of a Western fantasy setting.
“…….”
If it had been an unfamiliar voice, I would have subdued the intruder on the spot. But that slightly awkward pronunciation, that husky voice, and the nationality revealed by specifically calling me Bocchan to say Young Master gave his identity away.
I irritably brushed my messy hair back and turned my head to the side.
There stood Nagi Zen, wearing a felt-quality butler outfit, his seaweed-like bangs plastered over one eye, looking eerily similar to the old Nagi Zen before his complete makeover.
‘Just a weird dream.’
As my sense of reality evaporated, I immediately closed my eyes again and pulled the blanket up over my head.
Jingle, jingle.
That was strange.
I definitely closed my eyes again, but that infuriating bell sound rang out once more.
“My, my. You are such a, sleep, y, head.”
I couldn’t deny it anymore.
That really was Nagi Zen.
He already had a weird way of talking, but now it was even worse. I didn’t want to believe it.
“What the hell are you doing…….”
Finally giving up on denying reality, I scratched the back of my head and pushed myself upright. Rubbing my bleary eyes, I habitually reached toward the nightstand.
‘It’s gone.’
Gone.
The one that goes puff puff and the one that goes hiss hiss.
I had definitely bought them on my way back, seizing the golden chance to avoid Choi Jeokhyeon’s eyes, yet I couldn’t find them anywhere no matter how hard I looked. The manager was too scared of me to ever touch my belongings, and the Prism guys weren’t in any position to lecture me about smoking.
Which meant the culprit had to be today’s surprise intruder.
Letting out a quiet sigh, I held out my hand toward Zen.
“…Hand it over.”
Zen responded by flashing an irritatingly cheerful grin before presenting a silver tray with an overly refined motion.
“For today, I have prepared smoking-cessation gum3, mint candy, and nicotine patches.”
I stared blankly at the silver tray filled with cessation aids, then slowly looked back up at Zen’s face.
‘What’s wrong with my child this time?’
I had never, in my life, laid a hand on such hollow garbage.
And I had no intention of ever doing so.
“Not that. The thing you took.”
If I had to walk all the way to the apartment’s smoking area, that would take ages. I couldn’t afford to waste time like this. Smokers have time bombs in their heads. If they hold out too long, they die.
Growing more impatient by the second, I reached toward the pocket of Zen’s butler uniform.
Smack!
But before I could even touch it, the back of my hand was sharply slapped away.
t didn’t hurt, but I was so taken aback that I pulled my hand back. Zen gracefully swept his seaweed-like bangs aside and glared at me.
“Such un-dig-ni-fied behavior. As a byutler, I cannot forgive it.”
“It’s butler, not byutler.4 And if you’re going to do the butler concept, you shouldn’t be talking down to me like you’re the superior.”
Ignoring my correction entirely, Zen delicately pushed his glasses up with his middle finger and continued.
“This butler has made a resolution for the sake of Bocchan’s health. Let us eradicate from this world that vile object which turned Bocchan into a crazed addict. Therefore, those items have been disposed of, in this butler’s name.”
“Hey, who are you calling a crazed addict? This is basically average…….”
While I was roughly rubbing my face in a half-awake daze and making excuses for myself, I belatedly noticed the cameras and lights trailing behind Zen. Now that I think about it, didn’t I review a proposal a while back about producing a NeoTube web variety show with Zen as the host?
‘Was the concept something about visiting celebrities’ homes unannounced?’
They said simply visiting wouldn’t be fun, so they were going to come up with a special concept.
Zen had wanted it badly, so I’d approved it. And since we were already doing it, I’d even agreed to appear as the first episode’s guest. After all, ‘Seo Yutae, who never appears on variety shows‘ would be a guaranteed hit for their views.
But honestly, I never imagined he’d actually show up unannounced like this.
‘Well, at least it’s a relief that I fell asleep in my outdoor clothes…….’
As I swept my arm absentmindedly, my hand touched bare skin.
A chill shot through my entire body.
Haha. That’s strange.
…I’m not wearing anything.
Right. Yoo Jay and Jo Inchan had taken my clothes off.
“Ah, f**k.”
The moment I remembered, I gasped and covered myself with the blanket.
That was when the production team, realizing I was finally fully awake, burst into uproarious laughter.
That part was definitely going to get a bleep.
Ah, my beautiful language habits.
The image of Jo Inchan and Yoo Jay smiling brightly with thumbs up flashed through my mind like a hallucination.
I really appreciate it. Truly. But how great would it have been if you’d ignored me just for today.
“Leada, why are you being so provocative? Please refrain from showing off your muscles, Muscle Man.”
And in the middle of all this, Nagi Zen was spouting nonsense.
That word choice was driving me insane.
‘…Pants?’
With a pounding heart, I cautiously took a peek under the covers.
Thankfully, there was a single scrap of fabric upholding the NeoTube content guidelines. I suppose I should be relieved that the program wouldn’t get suspended right from the first episode.
“Just, give me clothes first…….”
It was truly a miracle that I’d only sat up halfway.
“Now then, choose. My arms hurt, so I no longer wish to hold the tray.”
His ‘Young Master‘ was practically half-naked right now, but the butler couldn’t care less. Maybe being a butler isn’t his calling.
“…Enough with that. Just give me clothes, hurry!”
At my insistence, Zen looked around blankly before handing me a black robe that was draped over a nearby chair. It belonged to Seo Yuseong and was a bit short, but at this point, I’d take anything. I hurriedly threw it on.
Then, getting out of bed, I said, “Let’s go to the living room first. This bedroom is a total mess.”
“I will make the bed. That is the duty of a butler.”
“No, don’t. I know perfectly well how bad you are at tidying up.”
“Please refrain from attacking me with facts.”
“…Why did you even go with a butler concept in the first place?”
“I actually wanted to do a cat-maid concept. But I couldn’t fit into the outfit with this massive body. I wanted to say moe moe kyun.”5
‘Are you saying you actually tried it on…….’
When would I ever be able to understand the human known as Nagi Zen?
Idols end up wearing all kinds of outfits in their careers. Something like a maid costume is basically a rite of passage. Usually it’s for fun at concerts or fan meetings, or to wear something fans would enjoy. But seeing someone voluntarily seek one out and put it on was a first.
“Don’t do it. I’m serious.”
“Why not?”
“Don’t ‘why‘ me. I have no intention of letting something that shameless into our dorm.”
“…Oh. I didn’t expect that reaction.”
As I slowly headed into the living room while talking with Zen, I heard another rustling sound.
That’s ominous.
Before I could dwell on the thought, Zen, with a carefree expression, pointed toward the kitchen.
“That’s why I prepared in advance. A person wearing a maid outfit.”
In the kitchen, where I’d followed Zen, I was met with the sight of Han Seungbeom standing there in a maid uniform with a completely vacant look on his face.
“Seung-chan is so skinny he can even fit into women’s clothes. Amazing.”
A long silence followed.
“……”
“……”
How did things … end up like this?
Pantheion, are they really going to be okay like this?
‘He’s insanely pretty.’
No, the real problem was that it actually suited Han Seungbeom quite well. With his slender frame and delicate features, he didn’t look awkward in the least. Seeing him like this, he looked like he was only half my size.
‘At least Zen was funny because it looked so low-budget. But this guy … I can’t even laugh.’
By this point, the thought of smoking didn’t even cross my mind anymore.
The way Han Seungbeom just stood there like some crazy psychopathic killer was too terrifying.
“Eat. Come on.”
Before I knew it, I was sitting in the chair Zen had pulled out for me. Not long after, Han Seungbeom placed a plate of omurice in front of me. Then, with a completely expressionless face, he started writing something on it with ketchup.
[Nagi Zen]
‘A dying message? No, is this a murder threat? A Death Note?’
“Please enjoy your meal.”
The letters were red, which made it even scarier.
Aren’t you supposed to draw a heart or something cute?
“…I’ll enjoy the meal.”
Avoiding Han Seungbeom’s murderous expression as much as possible, I shoveled large spoonfuls of omurice into my mouth. I must not, under any circumstances, look at him.
“It’s delicious.”
That was a lie.
Actually, I didn’t even have time to taste it.
“That’s a relief. If it hadn’t tasted good, I really don’t know what might have happened……”
Muttering that, Han Seungbeom cast a hazy glance at Nagi Zen, who was busily taking selfies. Then he started chuckling to himself like a madman. I could only pray that Nagi Zen wouldn’t be assassinated today.
Chewing through the omurice with effort, I changed the subject.
“So, why are you suddenly so obsessed with quitting smoking?”
I was pretty sure I hadn’t smoked much in front of the Pantheion members, so I was curious why Zen had suddenly gone crazy about it. I knew there had been quite a few fans worrying about my health after the last health check content went up.
[No, Oppa ㅜ you’re a much heavier smoker than I thought? How can you be so good at singing live when you smoke that much?][Looks like that’s how he relieves all his stress ㅠㅠ I’m glad he’s healthy for now, but I wish he’d quit for the sake of his future]
[Everyone in Prism, quit smoking PLEEEEASE, you crazy people!!!!!]
[But you have to admit, he looks pretty cool in those paparazzi photos]
However, Nagi Zen had zero interest in broadcasts that didn’t feature him. He cared even less about social media reactions. I could take a guess as to why he was acting so differently all of a sudden.
“I was told to do so by the CEO. He said that if left alone, Leada might die early, so that my help was needed. Coming here today was also the CEO’s order.”
“As expected, it’s Choi Jeokhyeon…….”
At the mention of Choi Jeokhyeon, Zen’s face loosened as he grinned.
“Hehe. Master-nim, I like him so much.”
He’s already been tamed.
What the hell did he do to my child?6
‘Since his strategic approach didn’t work, now he’s sending fools instead. Terrifying bastard.’
At this rate, he’d be wagging his tail any minute now.
“Wait. How come I’m the Young Master, but Choi Jeokhyeon is the Master?”
“A butler must look out for an opportunity now and then. To survive in this harsh world, one has no choice but to kneel before power.”
Just as I was about to declare that raising kids is pointless, someone entered the door lock password.
Beep beep beep beep beep.
And then the door opened, but Seo Yuseong froze the second he stepped into the entryway.
With his characteristically dry, emotionless eyes, he stared at us.
Without even taking his shoes off.
“……”
“……”
A suspicious cat maid, a seaweed-haired butler.
And me in between them, shoveling breakfast into my mouth like I was about to choke.
How, exactly, did this scene look to him?
You can support this translation through Buy Me a Coffee -`♡´-
Translator’s Corner:
- Virgin Ghost (처녀 귀신) is typically depicted with very long, unkempt black hair covering her face and wearing a white mourning dress (sobok). ↩︎
- Young Master in Japanese. ↩︎
- gum used to help someone quit smoking. ↩︎
- Actually the wrong one is when Zen said “as a butler”. He used 집사로써 (jipsarosseo, jipsa means butler) when it should’ve been 로서 (roseo). In Korean, -로서 is used when indicating a status or rank (e.g., “as a butler”), while -로써 is used for tools or methods. ↩︎
- Moe Moe Kyun, literally means “cute, cute, heart flutters!”, is a direct reference to Japanese maid cafe culture (made famous by the anime K-On!). It’s a magic spell meant to make food delicious. ↩︎
- I translated it to “my child” to fix the context, but you know, the way they said this in Korean is using “uri” so the literal translation would be “our child” asdfghkldlf ↩︎
Yutae confused because he suddenly got a daughter….
Anyway, it’s late, but Happy Valentine, Happy Chinese New Year, Happy Lent, and Happy Ramadhan for everyone!
Updates going to be really slow now I guess … to sum up my last week, I missed a job opportunity because I thought it was a scam (it really sounded like a scam, the HR text me to do interview at 1 AM??? but I reached out their HQ and then received reply it’s legit, but it’s already too late). Then, starting tomorrow, I will be working on store … I’m pretty nervous since it’s an iPhone store and as an Android user my whole life life, I know nothing about iPhone T_T please pray they will be patient with me learning….
It’s kinda underpaying job with high pressure to achieve target sales (idk how am I supposed to sell 100 phones in a month, but anyway), and I probably will only get home at 10 PM, but it’s not time to be a chooser I guess. I won’t have face to show my relatives if I’m still unemployed this upcoming Eid…… please wish me luck everyone …..
Thank you night-eyed for the coffee!
(I hope it’s the right series?)