Chapter 402 |
Side Story (19)
“Haaah……”
Yeah. I really was tired, f**k.
That was the first thought that crossed my mind the moment I woke up and pushed myself upright in bed.
I felt noticeably better than before I’d fallen asleep. My head was clear, and that strange, prickling sensation that had been buzzing in my mind was gone. Having recovered like this, I finally realized that I’d been more sensitive than usual before.
‘I’m already sensitive by nature, and on top of that I wasn’t sleeping. No wonder I was so irritable.’
I think one of my worst traits is that I don’t really take the time to reflect on myself.
Maybe it was because there were too many people around me I had to look after, or maybe I simply wasn’t interested in myself, but every day felt like I was crashing forward like a truck with a broken steering wheel.
Someone once said that when your eyes start drooping and your body slackens, that’s when you should rest. But once I got caught up in work, dopamine kicked in and I barely noticed how tired I was. Keeping to a fixed routine was difficult with my irregular schedule, and before I knew it, work always took priority over things like sleep or appetite.
‘I don’t even remember when I fell asleep.’
I swept my messy hair back and tried to retrace my memories from just before I’d dozed off. Right. I was checking a self-content video, and the next thing I knew, Choi Jeokhyeon had arrived home and caught me working. He immediately turned off the monitor and shoved me into bed.
Just like that, I fell asleep hugging the dolphin plushie my fans had gifted me.
For the record, if anyone wondered why someone who didn’t look the type slept hugging a stuffed animal, it was because I’d gotten used to putting Seo Yuseong to sleep since we were young, and I couldn’t sleep well on my own anymore.
‘Where did Choi Jeokhyeon go?’
Still looking a mess, I turned my head and saw Choi Jeokhyeon sitting at the table in one corner of the room, focused on his tablet. With a face like a sculpture and not a single flaw in his appearance, sitting there without moving an inch, I almost wondered if what I was seeing was real.
‘There’s no way he’s been sitting there like that the whole time … right?’
“You’re up?”
He must have heard me rustling. Without even looking my way, he checked his watch first and spoke briefly. Even though it was a question, his voice stayed low without any rising intonation at the end. Somehow, it felt like he was still in a bad mood.
‘I don’t think it was serious enough to warrant that kind of reaction.’
If I’d had dark circles hanging down to my jaw, looking like someone who hadn’t slept in days, I wouldn’t have argued. But today, it just felt like I’d been a bit tired. Being a little irritable wasn’t a big deal, as long as I kept it to myself and didn’t take it out on others.
By my own standards, I’d exercised plenty of restraint.
‘I made him come over here for no reason when he’s already busy.’
Isn’t being tired and irritable from lack of sleep just something every modern person deals with? I make more than most and have more on my plate, so wanting to rest more than everyone else would be like having the mindset of a thief.
Yeah. I should’ve been thinking that.
…But then why did seeing Choi Jeokhyeon make my chest feel so uneasy?
“If you’re busy, you could’ve just gone home to rest. It’s late.”
“It’s fine. I was getting some work done here.”
So weren’t you doing the same thing by working this late? You should take it easy too. The thought shot through my head, but I barely managed to keep it from leaving my mouth. Choi Jeokhyeon had never once suffered from poor condition. It was a losing argument anyway.
‘Why is he always fine, and I’m the only one like this?’
The only differences between us were smoking and sleep. But if smoking were the problem, then what about him? He didn’t smoke, but he drank heavily instead. As far as I was concerned, he was second only to Nam Yihwon when it came to alcoholism.
So was sleep really the issue?
As if on cue, Choi Jeokhyeon asked, “You kept tossing and turning. Do you always sleep this little?”
“…You know I can’t sleep deeply to begin with.”
At my answer, his brows knit together slightly, as if something still bothered him. But he didn’t press me further. He knew this wasn’t something I chose.
“Are the meds from the hospital not working?”
“Uh … I think I’ve built up a tolerance.”
“You didn’t say anything like that when you went to the hospital this time.”
“There were cameras, so I only talked about things I could laugh off.”
“…I see.”
After that, it was hard to add anything else.
‘I’m trash.’
In the end, I picked up the robe I’d tossed onto the bed and slipped it on before sitting down across from him. The contrast between my rumpled appearance and his perfectly tailored suit was almost ridiculous, but this wasn’t the time to be concerned about that.
Trying to ease his mood, I began explaining in a hoarse, hesitant voice.
“We filmed one of those … personality analysis things? I saw other idol groups do it and it looked fun, so I figured our fans would want to see it too.”
“Mm.”
“But the results turned out more unlikable than I expected. You’ve seen the raw footage, so you know what I mean, right? I knew our kids didn’t have the best personalities, so I wasn’t expecting much to begin with, but there’s a limit to how bad it should be.”
“So?”
“So I was busy deciding whether to leave it in or have it edited out. The editing schedule’s already tight, and if I don’t review it quickly, the staff will have a hard time.”
“First off, the Prism members are generally introverted and not very sociable. Usually, people in this line of work love being the center of attention, but if I had to pick, Nam Yihwon is the only one who relatively enjoys the spotlight, and even he is less into it than the average celebrity.”
“They showed a strong tendency not to care much about what others think. Their social sensitivity is extremely low, and they’re quite closed off. It seems they feel that no one outside their circle can truly understand them. Their basic mindset is, ‘As long as we and the fans on our side are happy, that’s enough’. Because of this, they aren’t attached to the attention of people they aren’t interested in or the general public, and they get incredibly stressed when strangers intrude on their private lives. Their anxiety levels are also quite high, across the board.”
People love to make assumptions about the inner lives of others they’d never even met, more than you’d think. Just imagining how they would obsess over these results, acting as if they’d seen through everything, how long-winded yet shallow their convictions would be, was terrifying.
‘And if some scandal breaks later, they’ll all come swarming in, calling it a ‘sacred site’ and come back to comment, ‘I knew this was his true colors all along’, and act like they were right the whole time.’
Thinking about that all-too-vivid future, I realized I definitely had to edit that part out. Once I’d made up my mind, I looked back at Choi Jeokhyeon. He was still sitting there quietly, his gaze lowered.
Was he even listening to a word I said?
But when my hand reached for the cigarette pack on the table out of habit, his eyes snapped toward me immediately, so I guess he wasn’t ignoring me after all. His gaze was so sharp that I sighed quietly and pulled my hand back. Resting my chin on my palm, I leaned forward, and my hair spilled down onto the table.
His gaze, which had instinctively swept over my fallen hair, finally shifted up to meet mine.
“Sorry for worrying you…….”
I said that while looking at him, feeling a little self-conscious, but Choi Jeokhyeon only responded with a silent nod. Then, as if nothing had happened, he stood up with a gentle smile.
“You haven’t eaten yet, right? Let’s go.”
…I wasn’t overthinking things, was I?
Seriously, for someone I thought I understood, I could never tell what was going on in that guy’s head.
.
.
.
After an excessively lavish meal, I returned to the dorm alone, an uncomfortable feeling lingering in my chest. When I got there, I saw the members who’d finished their schedules gathered in front of the TV, eating late-night snacks.
“Oh, hyung, you’re back?”
“You must’ve eaten something expensive. Moments like this make it a shame you can’t drink, hyung.I’m sure they have some amazing wines there.”
“Cut it out. What wine? I haven’t been able to smoke all day because I had to read the room.”
“Figures. But that doesn’t even count as quitting, hyung.”
“Shut up.”
“We ordered chicken. Do you want some?”
“No. Feed it to Seo Yuseong when he gets back. He probably still hasn’t eaten because of his schedule today.”
While I was exchanging greetings with them, Yoo Jay, who’d been flipping through channels nonstop with the remote, suddenly stopped when a familiar logo appeared.
[Drop the Beat Season 4 Binge-Watching]
“Oh, they’re still airing the season Chise-hyung was in? Isn’t that ancient history by now?”
By now the show had to be on, what, season ten or so? Re-airing an early season was pretty surprising. I hadn’t even seen any other seasons being re-aired. Was it because that one had been the most popular?
“Don’t even get me started. That season blew up so hard it’s the reason they can still make new ones. Honestly, the production team should be grateful to Chise-hyung. Other rappers too. If it weren’t for him, none of them would’ve gotten that famous. The Korean hip-hop scene wouldn’t have grown this much either.”
In a hip-hop scene that tended to shut idols out, the fact that one of our members had gone in and won outright clearly made Nam Yihwon proud—so proud that he praised Lee Chise like it was his own achievement. Lee Chise waved his hands dismissively, laughing it off in a bright voice.
“Ayy, don’t say that. It was mutual support.”
“Well, I don’t know. You were already insanely well-known before you went on that show, hyung. You’re a member of Prism. I honestly think the producers used your fame to boost the show’s buzz. Don’t you remember how they leaked rumors to the press about you joining before they even made the offer, and you had to deal with all that? Even the other contestants were scrambling to latch onto you just to get screen time.”
“Was that so? Haha. I didn’t really pay much attention.”
When Lee Chise just kept up that good-natured smile, Yihwon let out a deep sigh and scolded him. “Don’t be so soft on people. What if they start thinking they can walk all over you?”
Lee Chise was the type who would laugh things off as long as the other person didn’t cross a line he had set, even if they were a bit rude. Nam Yihwon probably worried he’d get taken advantage of out there.
Thinking back to Lee Chise when he’d appeared on that program, I muttered inwardly, ‘He’s not as easy to push around as you think.’
Our members would probably never know, though.
“I watched some old clips of Chise-hyung’s stage on NeoTube the other day, just because I missed it, and the comment section was no joke. Stuff like, ‘I want to feel the shock I felt when I first saw Lee Chise’s stage again’ and ‘This season was legendary because of Lee Chise’.”
“Of course they were saying that. He didn’t even have real competition. Honestly, I think Lee Chise is the best rapper in Korea.”
“Oh my, thank you.”
“Wow, look at that. He’s not even denying it. Confident, huh? That’s the spirit.”
Boom!
While the members had Lee Chise trapped in a compliment prison, the logo filled the entire screen and a teaser for the program started playing.
[Drop the Beat Season 4 — Who Will Be The Next Winner?!]
The faces of countless contestants flashed by quickly, but unlike the others, Lee Chise remained on screen for a significantly long time. Compared to now, he looked just a little younger.
“He was a baby. A baby.”
The thought slipped out of my mouth without thinking, and the Prism members burst out laughing. Lee Chise laughed along, saying he wasn’t that young back then, but his face turned a little red.
After taking a quick look at him, I reached out and ruffled his hair roughly.
“Should we give it a watch? It’s been a while, and it’s not like we have anything better to do.”
“What about your laptop, hyung? You’re usually glued to it every day at this hour.”
“…It got confiscated.”
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Translator’s Corner:
Yup, this is a new, fun arc.
I’m feeling sad and miserable because of something today, but it’s not something that I can tell or explain to anyone, so it kinda feels more miserable? Sigh, I’m ending my January 2026 in sadness, but I hope you guys have a happy start of this year!