Chapter 80 |
Han Seungbeom is the best leader.
Anyone who watched Survive IDOL would agree with that statement.
The way he presented himself on the program was the embodiment of a perfect leader.
Woo Kangwon was no different. Therefore, he offered a light compliment to Han Seungbeom as a gesture of gratitude.
“I think you’ll really be a good leader.”
But the moment he said it, he regretted it.
He regretted it because a glimpse of Han Seungbeom’s face flashing across his vision made his heart sink.
Han Seungbeom had a look on his face as if he might collapse at any moment.
It was an expression he had never seen on his face before. He saw something he shouldn’t have seen.
The fortunate thing was that Woo Kangwon was far more perceptive than Han Seungbeom had expected. He knew that Han Seungbeom wouldn’t want to show that side of himself to him.
‘Don’t let it show. Don’t let it show….’
Woo Kangwon, hiding the anxiety pounding in his chest, kept his gaze fixed on the floor and maintained his composure until the end.
He didn’t hesitate like he did during the situation with Do Yuda. This one was a kind of pain that should not be noticed.
‘What on earth happened that made a twenty-year-old make such an expression?’?’
Han Seungbeom didn’t seem to notice that Woo Kangwon had seen his face, and quietly sat down on the bed. Then, he began searching for a few articles. He stared intently at the faces in the harmonious photos, pointed them out one by one, and asked for their names.
“Who is this person?”
Han Seungbeom’s questions stopped after he found the name of a middle-aged man with a similar face and surname to the whistleblower. After that, he lay still for hours, waiting for Woo Kangwon to contact his junior and for the time to meet to draw closer.
Woo Kangwon watched his back and felt that he seemed exhausted somehow.
At first, he was lying down normally, as usual, but as time passed, it became evident that instead of recovering his strength, he was becoming more and more exhausted.
‘What was that expression on his face earlier?’
Since the conversation, Han Seungbeom never turned back, keeping his back to him. However, Woo Kangwon couldn’t forget Han Seungbeom’s face. Even though the time to meet the person who dragged him down to the bottom was getting closer, he couldn’t concentrate.
***
The face of the junior he met again was gaunt.
He thought his junior would be happy after pouring out all his negative emotions and bringing down the one he had resented so much, but there was no sign of such happiness at all.
“Who is this guy?”
There was no trace of resolve in his dry eyes, and his words were full of malice and mockery. He hadn’t seemed in a normal state when they met last time, but after hearing Han Seungbeom’s words, it became even more painfully obvious.
‘This must have been the outcome this kid wanted, so why…….’
“Does he look happy to you right now, hyung?”
When Woo Kangwon saw that appearance, he understood the meaning of Han Seungbeom’s words.
He looked as if his insides had been eaten away, leaving him completely empty.
He couldn’t accept the limits of his own capabilities, so he couldn’t acknowledge the shabby results. It was clear that he had reached a breaking point in the desperate process of shifting blame onto others in order to prevent his fragile ego from collapsing.
He could no longer look away.
That thing, which eats away at a person’s heart like a pest, will never disappear unless you overcome it on your own. And when there’s no one left to blame after that endless resentment, it will turn inward and consume your self.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this? Can your father handle all the public backlash by himself?”
The junior, who had been shouting that he would never retract the expose, was greatly shaken when Han Seungbeom mentioned his father.
“.…I’m just a victim of this corrupt sports world!”
As Woo Kangwon watched his junior sinking into darkness, he felt a strange emotion. Strangely, he couldn’t think of his junior the way he used to.
Han Seungbeom continued to spit out harsh words, steadily driving his junior to a mental breakdown.
He felt sympathy, but that was all. Instead, his concern for Han Seungbeom, who was facing malice on his behalf, grew stronger and stronger.
Only then did Woo Kangwon realize.
‘Ah, the only emotion I had left was guilt, not affection.’
When he realized that, he surprisingly regretted his actions.
‘What am I doing now?’
All of this could actually be resolved if Woo Kangwon made up his mind. However, the foolish Han Seungbeom couldn’t bring himself to force that upon Woo Kangwon.
“Do you want to do it, or do you not?”
All Han Seungbeom asked for was Woo Kangwon’s sincerity.
“…Actually, I don’t want to give up like this. I want to stand on stage.”
“That’s all that matters.”
That kind of affection was a completely unfamiliar experience for Woo Kangwon. He found himself unwilling to let go of it. At the same time, he was disappointed in himself for hiding in the shadow of the person who had revealed his true feelings.
“Why is it that only Woo Kangwon has a savior like you? Why am I the only one who ends up like this! We both sacrificed our lives for the same thing!”
The junior, who couldn’t control his anger, tried to threaten Han Seungbeom.
Seeing this, Woo Kangwon moved his body without realizing it. He pushed away the hand that was touching Han Seungbeom’s neck and blocked the space between them, pushing the junior’s body away.
Then, gritting his teeth, he looked at his junior, who had collapsed in front of him.
“I’m disappointed.”
Anger flared up in him as he saw that; how easy it was for his junior to make a choice that would cost him his athletic career just because he couldn’t control his fleeting emotions.
He finally understood what Han Seungbeom had said about him.
With that realization, Woo Kangwon was able to make up his mind.
“Stop it and come to your senses. How long are you going to live like this?”
“….Sunbae?”
He seemed stunned, unable to get up, as if he had been deeply shocked by the fact that Woo Kangwon had pushed him away and spoken coldly to him. Since Woo Kangwon had never acted like this towards him before, he appeared unable to comprehend what had just happened.
“How far are you planning to fall? If you lay a hand on an ordinary person, there’s no turning back. I haven’t kept my mouth shut all this time just to see you like this.”
Woo Kangwon closed his eyes tightly and thought to himself.
It’s time to break free from the people who are dragging me down.
I should not hide my weakness by hiding behind Han Seungbeom.
He pulled himself together and issued the final ultimatum.
“Suyong-ah, let’s stop now. This is enough.”
“…What do you mean by let’s stop?”
“All of it. Pretending not to know about the existence of those who hurt us, and staying stuck in the past. Seungbeom did say those things to you for my sake. But that doesn’t matter anymore. From now on, I won’t just stand by and watch you do as you please.”
“Us? Don’t treat me like we’re the same. I never had a single complaint about what the coach said. You could have just followed along, but you couldn’t stand it and made me like this! It’s all your fault, sunbae!”
The junior, finally grasping Woo Kangwon’s message, let out a furious scream and shook his head violently.
It was an attempt to deny the fact that Woo Kangwon had abandoned him, and to try to form a connection with the current him.
But Woo Kangwon had already made up his mind, so that attempt did not reach him.
“You definitely wouldn’t have followed it. If you were really okay with it, you wouldn’t have reacted so sensitively to the fact that the truth would reach your father’s ears. In the end, both of us couldn’t follow that order.”
“Stop talking nonsense! How many times do I have to tell you that my arm is like this because of your actions? How many times do I have to tell you that I got targeted and beaten because of you!”
“No. Your body became like this because of the coach and the higher-ups, not me. And your current situation is something your own inferiority complex has created.”
“Ahhhhhh! Stop! Stop! Stop it! It’s noisy! I don’t want to hear it!”
At Woo Kangwon’s firm attitude, the junior covered his ears, screamed, and scratched his entire body. It was an act of desperation.
Then, all of a sudden, he stopped all his actions and begged in a small voice.
“Why are you suddenly doing this to me … you weren’t this kind of person, sunbae.”
Seeing that sight, Woo Kangwon frowned.
No matter what, this person was someone who had shared important moments of life with him. It was painful to see such a person fall apart.
The ones who committed violence and wrongdoing must still be lying comfortably and enjoying peaceful days, but the wounded were tearing each other apart.
But the more Woo Kangwon faced his junior’s pitiful appearance, the more he felt his heart harden.
“You were scared. If you were to reveal the whole truth, you were scared of the retaliation those people would inflict on you, so you had to take out your resentment elsewhere.”
“…….”
Han Seungbeom was staring at Woo Kangwon’s side profile with a dumbfounded expression, as if he couldn’t understand his actions. In response to Han Seungbeom’s gaze, Woo Kangwon faintly smiled and spoke to him.
“If I just run away in fear, nothing will be solved. Isn’t that right?”
Then, he looked back at his junior.
“I will no longer sit by and watch you ruin me. So, go back and correct the post you made, and apologize for spreading lies that hurt so many people. If you don’t, I will reveal all the truths and expose your lies and wrongdoings to the public.”
“…How could you do this to me, sunbae? That jerk must have put some strange ideas in your head….”
The junior muttered, glaring at Han Seungbeom with eyes full of resentment. Woo Kangwon shook his head, denying the words.
“I’m no longer your sunbae. From now on, I will live as a member who will debut with this child. And I’ll live up to the expectations of the precious people in my life. So, you should also receive proper rehabilitation and live cherishing your life.”
“…….”
“Go.”
Woo Kangwon spoke to the junior, who was in a daze and couldn’t say anything.
“Since it’s not widely known yet that you’re the athlete who posted the expose, let’s stop now, and us … if there ever comes a time when you want to reveal everything that happened to us … I’ll help you as much as I can.”
“…….”
The junior said nothing in response to Woo Kangwon’s words and stood up. Then, he walked away without even making eye contact.
“Are you really okay with this? Is it alright to end it like this? You don’t need a proper answer?” Han Seungbeom asked Woo Kangwon, watching the junior’s back. It was uncertain whether the junior would actually do as Woo Kangwon had asked, and that made him uneasy.
“Yeah, if he really doesn’t give in until the end, I have to face him head-on. But I believe that, even if that child found it difficult to accept right now, he will eventually come around.”
“…….”
Woo Kangwon smiled at Han Seungbeom, who was still looking at him with a worried expression. Despite that smile, Han Seungbeom seemed unable to feel reassured, so he placed his hand on his shoulder and spoke his true feelings.
“I want to debut with you. So, I have to become someone worthy of that. I’ll gather the courage.”
Han Seungbeom will debut in this program and become the leader of the newly formed team.
That was a fact acknowledged by everyone.
But Woo Kangwon couldn’t get this question out of his mind.
Is there anyone who knows the true meaning behind the expression that Han Seungbeom made?
So, Woo Kangwon made a vow.
Then, let me become the existence who supports that child, whom everyone believes in and follows, from behind.
“Let’s debut together, Seungbeom-ah.”
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Translator’s Corner:
I MUST BE CRAZY WHY DID I DO 5 CHAPTERS IN ONE GO JUST BECAUSE I CAN’T STAND THIS ARC SJKDDSHFKJSDHNFVJKDFHVNKJDH it definitely took more than 15 hours no wonder my wrist is numb … nvm I did this to myself
Anyway I wont be able to do much tomorrow. I really need to get out and visit my faculty to pick up my graduate documents … it’s been like 2 weeks, I will be sakjdkshj if they lost it because it stays there too long