Chapter 73 |
‘Why do you want to be an idol?’
For those who made a name for themselves in other fields before entering this industry, this question would follow them for the rest of their lives. Whether they could answer this question without hesitation or not, I believed that the answer would reveal their earnestness and their potential for future success.
“What did you appear on this program for?”
“…….”
I sighed as I watched Woo Kangwon, who couldn’t immediately refute Lee Hwayoung’s words.
‘Well, here we are. I knew it would be like this….’
Lee Hwayoung was always blunt and straightforward in his speech. Growing up in an environment where there was no need to care about others’ opinions, his naturally confident and cold personality was fully reflected in his manner of speaking.
At first, it might sound offensive. But if you thought about it a little more, you would understand. It wasn’t the coldness of his tone that you should focus on.
‘That’s just the shell, and what’s truly frightening is the core inside it.’
I felt like I was excluded from that everyone, but whatever.
Since he had neither strong dislike nor affection for others, there was no a single lie or empty words in Lee Hwayoung’s evaluations.
And it’s always the truth that cuts the deepest into people’s hearts.
Everyone could see that Woo Kangwon’s behavior in this third mission was strange. He looked like someone whose mind was elsewhere, and also like someone who had half-given up.
Lee Hwayoung, who had prepared for this third mission with Woo Kangwon, would have been able to see his condition more clearly.
“…….”
“…….”
A short silence passed. Lee Hwayoung frowned as he looked at Woo Kangwon, who still couldn’t offer any response. He then turned his back to his teammates and muttered,
“Why would Han Seungbeom choose someone like this….”
“…….”
“If you’re not serious about this, then quit the program. Having someone who isn’t earnest will only be a hindrance.”
***
After the icy announcement of the third mission results, I returned to the dorm with Do Yuda. Do Yuda went into the bathroom first to take a shower, and I seized the opportunity to monitor Zen’s performance.
[“Never be discouraged. Growl!”]
‘He was lucky.’
After watching the whole stage, this was my impression.
Zen had improved all the issues I pointed out during the first and second missions. I knew he was working hard because he was always holed up in the practice room whenever I saw him, but I never expected him to have grown this much.
‘I’ve had too much going on, so I haven’t had the time to pay attention to him.’
Having cleared all the tasks I set for him, Zen must have been at a loss for what to do next. And that’s when Cha Woon appeared before him. The composer for the Charisma Concept team.
The first step to growth was imitation.
It was important to closely observe and analyze how someone who resembled you, but was superior, handled things, as that was the key to growing rapidly. Establishing your own style came after that.
The dull Zen probably had no idea who he should be referencing, but luckily, the composer, Cha Woon was exactly the right person. What if the composer had been Seo Yuseong? Zen might have fallen into a slump trying to imitate Seo Yuseong.
‘He disliked the trainees so much at first, but then he taught them so diligently?’
Just like Lee Hwayoung grew by referring to me in this mission, Zen grew by looking at Cha Woon. Just as I felt that Lee Hwayoung resembled me, Cha Woon must have realized that Zen was very similar to himself.
‘He complained a lot saying the kids couldn’t do anything, but in the end, he taught them everything he could.’
As a result, Zen was able to grow much more refined than before, and to some extent, he even learned some tricks. If this mission was broadcasted, Zen’s fanbase would definitely experience a huge surge.
‘Zen seems to have secured his spot in the debut lineup. There might be a few issues, though.’
After playing Zen’s killing part over and over again, I listened to the other member’s part right after that.
[“Be the last man standing and let everyone know!”]
‘And … this guy is a lot better than I thought he was.’
Baek Kiryang. I thought so since he helped Do Yuda last time, but this guy was really something.
Growl! wasn’t a song with very high notes, but it had a lot of tricky harmonies in the chorus, and all of that had to be performed live. To sing the harmony parts well, it was crucial to keep the pitch accurate and avoid going off-key. At the trainee level, even non-harmony parts were often off-pitch, but Baek Kiryang handled all those harmonies very skillfully.
‘Come to think of it, his pitch was perfect even when he sang Domination.’
If Do Yuda was the type of powerful vocalist with an explosive range who dominated the atmosphere, Baek Kiryang was the type of vocalist who provided stability with accurate pitch and rhythm.
It was impossible to say which one was superior. But what if those two types were in the same group? From a producer’s perspective, it was an exciting imagination that was enough to make me giddy.
‘But why is he so insecure?’
The problem was his extremely timid attitude. He could sing beautifully and his dancing wasn’t bad either, so maybe he was just naturally shy. But just looking at his hunched back made me want to scream in anger.
‘So, that’s why Zen stood out alone.’
He sang the entire song but didn’t make any eye contact with the camera, not at all.
What the hell, this loser.
Thanks to him, Zen’s weakness, which was his lack of skill in singing, was completely covered up, and the team was able to achieve good results. However, that stupid guy’s fans must be bawling their eyes out.
Just as I was about to pull my hair out in frustration, Do Yuda, with his makeup completely removed and a pale face, stepped out of the bathroom, steam rising from his body.
“Oh, hyung! You haven’t gone to eat yet. I thought you’d go first.”
“We didn’t get to see the Charisma Concept team’s performance. I was monitoring that.”
“Hmm, I see.”
Do Yuda, who nodded at my words, placed the towel he had been shaking his hair with on his head and sat down next to me. His face, hidden behind the towel, was full of worry.
‘This kid must have heard about Kang Baeyoung too.’
The news that Kang Baeyoung had been kicked out for breaking the trainee rules spread very quickly, and soon all the trainees knew about it. Since Kang Baeyoung was expelled for possessing a personal phone, notices warning the other trainees to be careful so that the same thing wouldn’t happen to them were posted all over the dormitory.
“…….”
“…….”
I had no intention of telling Do Yuda what had happened.
No matter how much he said that he was fine now, Kang Baeyoung’s presence was nothing more than stress for him, neither more nor less. There was no need to cause himself stress when talking about it wouldn’t solve anything.
Thankfully, Do Yuda didn’t show much interest in what I was doing.
No, it would be more accurate to say that he’s trying to avoid showing any interest.
‘It’s better not to know about things that you can’t handle.’
Do Yuda’s intentional indifference was close to a survival instinct. He knew it well himself, the fact that the things I was doing were beyond what he could handle.
However, no matter how much he pretended to act oblivious, Do Yuda’s complicated feelings were evident in his slightly shadowed expression.
“Come to think of it, I’m glad we finished our third mission performance well. You always get the first place, hyung.”
As if trying to change the subject, Do Yuda mentioned the competition. I nodded and praised him.
“It was possible because you trusted me and performed well. You did a great job.”
“Eh, no way. I know very well that as long as I listen to you, first place is already a given!”
Do Yuda, clenching his fist, passed the credit to me and flashed a smile.
“When I saw Nicholas-hyung’s performance, to be honest, I was a bit nervous. The reactions from the on-site audience were really intense. I thought that team would naturally be in second place. And in reality, Nicholas-hyung was second in the individual ranking.”
“…But they were cheering for Lee Hwayoung, not the whole team.”
“All of you seem so scared that it’s obvious you’re just thinking ‘I hope I don’t make a mistake‘. This has nothing to do with Trainee Nicholas’ absence. It’s a matter of the members’ lacking individual skills.”
On the day of the rehearsal, Jay had clearly warned them that things couldn’t continue that way. And Lee Hwayoung followed Jay’s advice and fixed the issue for the performance that day. However, the rest of the members didn’t, so they needed to take responsibility for it.
“The rest of the members can’t be considered to have done well in this team mission.”
“…Even so, I even helped Woo Kangwon-hyung practice, so I’m really sorry that things turned out this way. Earlier too, when Nicholas-hyung was yelling at him, Kangwon-hyung just listened….”
Do Yuda wiped his smile and made a dejected face when he found out that Woo Kangwon was included in the ‘rest of the members’. While Lee Hwayoung, who had received my help, was able to perform well on stage, Woo Kangwon, who had received his help, was strongly reprimanded by Lee Hwayoung. It seemed like he was feeling guilty about it.
‘If it was going to be like this, I should have just told him to leave Woo Kangwon alone.’
He was so eager to help, so I forced a role for him, but I never expected him to feel guilty like this. I let out a small sigh and pressed the towel firmly against his damp hair.
“It’s not your fault.”
It seemed that Do Yuda wasn’t looking for comfort, as he shook his head with a more depressed expression.
“Do you know where Nicholas-hyung and Kangwon-hyung are now?”
“Lee Hwayoung went to the hospital for his back treatment, and as for Woo Kangwon-hyung, I don’t know. Lee Hwayoung will probably take a while to come back. He might not even make it back today. He should get proper treatment while he has some free time.”
“…….”
After hearing what I said, Do Yuda lowered his head and stayed still for a while. The towel draped over his face cast a shadow, concealing their expression
Do Yuda slumped in his seat, his head bowed low. He remained still in the awkward knees-bent position he had first sat in, and even though I gestured for him to sit comfortably, he simply shook his head and looked down at the floor.
Then, he opened his mouth heavily, “Hyung, can you make me one promise?”
“…What is it?”
“I don’t want to interfere with what you’re doing, hyung. I don’t think those are things I need to know. So, I’ll try my best not to ask about anything you don’t want to me to know. But please promise me one thing.”
“…….”
“From now on, if I ask you to tell me the truth, please answer without lying, no matter what the content is.”
It was rare for him to be this serious. I couldn’t bring myself to refuse such a sincere request.
“Hyung, I started to suspect something was wrong when you entrusted me with Woo Kangwon-hyung’s practice. But after seeing your behavior afterward, that suspicion gradually turned into certainty.”
As soon as I heard the words he had spoken, I could tell what he was going to ask me.
“Tell me the truth. Hyung, are you disappointed in Kangwon-hyung?”
It was unexpected. This coward had mustered the courage to confront the truth for the first time, and not for his own sake, but for someone else.
I thought I had to face his courage sincerely.
So, I decided to answer truthfully.
“….Yeah. I’m disappointed.”
I could sense a presence from the direction of the door. Woo Kangwon was undoubtedly behind it, listening to our entire conversation. But I did not stop talking.
“At first, I thought he was someone who should be in the debut group. But….”
Because, I wasn’t as good a person as he thought I was.
“Not anymore.”
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