Chapter 54 |
“…..It isn’t.”
The answer that came after hesitation was met with a fierce grip that immediately reached for my neck. It paused briefly before making contact with my skin, then swiftly grabbed the nearby collar.
I glanced at the hand once, then looked back up at him. Jay’s expression was filled with unmistakable anger. His teeth clenched together with a grinding sound, and his pupils contracted sharply.
A harsh, ragged voice spoke, “Don’t lie to me. I already know everything.”
Jay was already convinced. He wasn’t really asking me because he was curious, it was just a final confirmation.
And he was right.
I never imagined that kid would take the chorus of a song that I had saved in the cloud without showing it to anyone. It was unmistakably my song.
‘I should have cleaned up my accounts before I died.’
How on earth did Cha Woon gain access to my account, and how did Jay find out that Cha Woon had copied the song from my cloud?
‘If there was someone who leaked my ID and password, I wanted to beat the crap out of them.’
‘…..Someone who leaked them?’
The words echoed through my mind as I thought about it.
Yes, there must have been someone who knew my ID and password, or at least someone who allowed them to log in. That’s why this situation happened.
The moment I realized that, my thoughts instantly snapped into place, as if struck by lightning.
There was someone. Someone who knew my account’s ID and password, and who could allow them to log in.
‘No way…….’
“Think of me as your guardian. You can lean on me whenever you need to.”
It was ‘that person’.
I clenched my teeth as I thought of him. It’s been a long time since I died, so why was he messing around with other people’s children instead of living his own life?
“You, that…….”
“Hyung, even the title tracks we released after you left the group were all composed by you.”
Before I could confirm the identity of the person who provided the information, Jay dropped a bombshell. I was unable to even bring up the question that had been lingering on the tip of my tongue, and I started racking my brain again.
‘How does Jay know about that? Did that person tell him that too?’
I had a suspicion that he was behind everything. But there was no way Kang Hyukwoo and Cha Woon would reveal their own weaknesses to him.
Jay and Cha Woon weren’t that close, so it couldn’t have been Cha Woon either.
That left only one other person.
Kang Hyukwoo had a tendency to look down on the celebrities under his company. I began to think that if it were him, he might have said something to crush Jay and the PRISM’s members.
If that was the case, I could never forgive him.
I had accepted that offer with the promise that it would be kept secret, even in death.
It was foolish to believe the promise I made with that bastard, but I had no choice. It was the last resort. Feeling like I had been hit in the back of the head again, I muttered in frustration.
“….Did Kang Hyukwoo tell you?”
“Ha.”
Hearing my question, Jay turned pale and let out a hollow laugh. As soon as I took in his face, I realized my mistake.
‘It was just a test. Damn it.’
With my body in such bad shape, my head couldn’t even think straight, leaving me only with frustration. As I stood there, frozen in place, he shook his head helplessly and buried his face in his hands.
His trembling voice muttered,
“So, it’s true. I always thought it was strange that someone who had never made even one hit song before could create such masterpieces whenever he writes our songs. Like a trash, he built up his image as a composer by claiming other people’s work as his own. And we continued to thrive because of that.”
Even if I denied it, there was no guarantee that Jay would believe me. After all, there had always been some awkwardness in Cha Woon’s actions. Jay had been suspicious of him for a while, and that’s why he was able to make this realization.
“It’s because it’s hard to maintain the concept that Prism has been doing. You guys can’t suddenly change your singing style.”
I denied the harsh words directed at Cha Woon. They were members of the same group, I was worried this would cause problems within the group. However, Jay didn’t care and poured out everything he had to say.
“I didn’t know that and was under the illusion that we made a comeback with our own strength. Hyukwoo-hyung knew, and Cha Woon-hyung knew, but I was the only one who was stupid.”
“…….”
“I wish I had been really stupid. Then I wouldn’t have found out about this, and I wouldn’t have had to interrogate my hyung like this.”
I couldn’t come up with any rebuttal to those words and tightly sealed my lips.
This time, it was different from the situation with Frick.
This time, it was clearly my fault.
I had been deceiving the members of PRISM, regardless of whether it was a choice for their sake or not.
Jay slowly raised his face and looked straight at me with bloodshot eyes.
“I won’t blame you, hyung. I know exactly what kind of person you are, to the point that I’m sick of it. But I’m done with Prism now. I can’t do this any longer.”
“What?”
Suddenly, I wondered what in the world that meant.
I’m done with Prism.
“What are you talking about? You guys have been holding on for so long, you can’t throw it all away now.”
“We, holding on? No, it was only you, hyung, who had been forcibly holding on.”
It felt like something terrible would happen immediately if I let this moment slip away. When I asked him again in bewilderment, Jay started to speak without hesitation, as if he had prepared for it.
“We’re on the verge of breaking after holding on until now. If things had gone as they were supposed to, everything should have ended the day you left, hyung. We’ve risen to a position that was beyond what we deserved, and we were already exhausted from trying to maintain it without you. Cha Woon still seems to want to hold onto Prism, but look at the reality. It’s already starting to fall apart.”
I realized that the reason he could spit out those long words without hesitation was because they were thoughts he had repeated for years. The patience that he had been barely holding on finally exploded because of today’s incident.
‘What if Prism really disbands?’
I felt like I had destroyed the sandcastle I had carefully built with my own hands.
A hollow emptiness welled up within me as I realized, too late, that my castle had completely crumbled, its foundations eroded by countless tiny waves.
‘How on earth did things end up like this?’
Contrary to my intentions, things had taken a turn for the worst. When I looked back, I had clearly done what was best for the members, but this was how it ended up.
“Let’s keep being Prism until we’re 20 or 30 years older!” “Let’s smash the noses of those who mock us for being from a small agency! We will definitely succeed and continue our group activities.”
“We have Seo Yutae-ssi with us, so what is there to be afraid of! I’m confident.”
I felt a lump in my throat as I suddenly remembered the days when we all ran together toward one goal without any complicated circumstances.
PRISM was a group that I nurtured and raised with my own hands, despite our incompetent entertainment company. From the days when no one recognized them until the moment they reached the top of the idol industry, I was with them all along.
“How is that undeserved? All of you, I clearly watched how hard you all worked … why are you trying to let everything go on your own? You can’t think rationally because you’re angry now. Can’t you just think that he just copied another composer’s song?”
I couldn’t just let it fall apart like this. Especially if it was because of me.
I took a deep breath to suppress my vomit. I felt like my knees would buckle if I loosened up even a little. My body was shivering, but sweat was forming on my forehead and my exhaled breath was hot.
‘Why does my body keep doing this only in front of Jay……’
Why did I even ask. It was because I kept running into Jay in situations where I was recklessly pushing my body to the limit. I held onto his arm as if it were a support and spoke.
“You have to think about your own life and the lives of the members from now on. It doesn’t matter who the original owner of the songs were. I did it because I wanted to.”
Jay, who had a stunned expression as if surprised by my plea, suddenly twisted his expression.
“Hyung, are you an idiot?”
“…….”
“Why are you treating us like this, over something as trivial as affection? As for me, hyung, I can at least think of you comfortably because I know you’re still alive. But Cha Woon still thinks that you’re dead. You can’t tell me you don’t know what that means.”
Jay’s breathing quickened. The guy, who seemed like he was about to burst into tears, gasped for air roughly and shouted in frustration.
“Since he’s already dead, and dead people can’t speak, I guess it’s fine to take it and use it as I please. All that’s in Cha Woon’s mind are those kinds of thoughts. How can you not know this, hyung? You are the great Seo Yutae. Even though you’re wearing the shell of a 20-year-old kid, you’re still Seo Yutae. Stop pretending you don’t know!”
From the moment the song was released, it was something I had already realized. I knew that for sure, but hearing it from Jay’s mouth still felt shockingly new.
“Let go of your lingering feelings for the members of Prism. You must have realized by now, but that person is already completely ill. And so am I.”
I didn’t have time to reflect on whether the words that came out of Jay’s mouth were painful or if the truth I had been avoiding was painful. With my body reaching its limit, a wave of nausea washed over me.
“How long are you going to live so foolishly? When I look at you, I feel like I can’t breath. In the end, people were right. In the end, we were just leeches sucking blood out of Seo Yutae.”
In the end, the reason for his anger was me.
Strangely, Jay seemed to feel more guilty about the fact that he had been continuously receiving my help without realizing it, rather than feeling betrayed that I had deceived him.
“…Don’t listen to what people say. The person involved doesn’t even think that way, so whose words are you believing?”
“You made me think that way.”
“…….”
“You still haven’t told me anything. Hyung, how can I believe what you say? I still don’t know why you died or why you left the group.”
The direct answer, hitting the mark, came right away to the words I had uttered as an excuse. His words were right. There was nothing I could explain to him now.
“No, do you even have any intention of explaining it to me?”
‘I don’t want to deceive you anymore, sincerely.’
It was hard to stop the truth I had been hiding from spilling out of my mouth. If I were to reveal all the truth, this frustration would be relieved, but it would be the same as dumping my burdens on Jay.
The fist I had clenched nervously gradually unclenched.
“…….”
“Fine, I didn’t even expect it.”
Jay quietly observed my silence before turning away. Then, he irritably put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it.
“…Go back and sleep. You have another filming tomorrow.”
It meant he didn’t want to talk anymore. At the sound that was no different from a banishment, I spoke in a small voice, as if talking to myself.
“…I’m sorry for keeping it a secret all this time.”
I really didn’t want to hurt any of you as much as I could, I tried my best to wish that only good things would happen, but I don’t know why things keep turning out like this. But saying all of this might have seemed like I was avoiding responsibility.
“But I don’t want to see any of you suffering because of something related to me. Even if my name is brought up now, it will only lead to an unhappy ending for everyone.”
“…….”
Jay didn’t say anything.
I took a step back, turned around, and started walking away. I had to get back to my dorm.
I didn’t want to worry Woo Kangwon and Do Yuda by being away for too long. My condition was worse than I had thought. Even in my hazy consciousness, the reason I had to leave this place quickly kept coming to mind.
“…I have to go back.”
I moved my legs as if I were running away.
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Translator’s Corner:
Guess who’s crying and why is it ME OMG i keep pausing this every 5 minutes because I keep feling sad djskhjdkfsdff
Thank you Jaynne for the Coffees!