Chapter 22 |
“Nicholas-hyung, do you have a complaint?”
His usual cute atmosphere was nowhere to be found, replaced by a tense and menacing air, much like when he faced Yamada Hayato.
Despite all eyes on him, Lee Danbi stood unmoving.
“I don’t?” Lee Hwayoung, looking down at the child, smiled as if intrigued, then tilted his head and spoke.
It was strange. In the current situation, the one who should be feeling the most uncomfortable, Lee Hwayoung, remained unfazed. Rather, it seemed like he felt happier than when he was in first place.
“Really? Thank you for your answer.”
As if he had never cared what Lee Hwayoung would say in the first place, Lee Danbi abruptly turned around and looked back at the trainees who had been pouring out complaints to me.
“The person who should be most disappointed right now says he has no complaints, yet everyone else has so much to say. Anyone listening would think the subscribers was threatened with a knife to vote for Han Seungbeom.
“…….”
It was a statement that hit the nail on the head. In any case, the subscribers were free to vote for the trainees they thought performed best. This meant that there was no special pressure from big agencies or anything like that.
If there was a problem, it was more with the method of the on-site evaluation. The subscribers evaluation, aside from the way the results were announced and the order, was quite a reasonable approach.
“And if you have something to say, step up and say it openly. Badmouthing someone behind their back, no matter who’s at fault, is just cowardly.”
“…….”
As the trainees, lost for words, quietly lowered their heads, Lee Danbi cheerfully ran back to my side.
“That feels so refreshing! Hyung! Congratulations on your first place. I really think you’re the one who deserves that spot the most.”
As the atmosphere settled with Lee Danbi’s comment, Yang Hajun glanced down at the teleprompter, as if he was about to proceed.
“Umm…..”
After checking the production team’s comments, Yang Hajun smiled embarrassedly and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.
“…..Trainee Han Seungbeom! The reactions from the other trainees seem a bit negative. Is there anything in particular you’d like to say?”
Even though they had created this situation, the production team seemed to be enjoying it. Maybe they felt less guilty because they were using Yang Hajun’s mouth to say those words.
Several cameras turned to my face, ready to catch even the slightest expression of emotion. And everyone quietly watched me.
“No, how could in this situation—”
I stopped Lee Danbi’s outburst before it could be unleashed again.
“…….”
What should I say?
What would the viewers and the production team expect me to say?
‘They probably expect me to look intimidated or apologetic.’
I had a rough idea of what scene they wanted to see.
But the image I’m going to build from now on is different.
Why did you think it’s so difficult for idols who came from survival programs to succeed in their main careers?
It’s because the program itself, which put every aspect of a trainee’s life on display, ended up exposing the artist’s weaknesses to the world.
What parts of them were lacking, what they looked like before they were touched by the magic of the camera, and what personality flaws they might have. The rarely seen, raw appearance of celebrities was the key to the program’s success, but in the long term, it was poison for idol careers.
People admired geniuses with natural talent more than those who grew through hard work, and they envied the born wealthy rather than those who rose from humble beginnings.
Therefore, I would never apologize in front of the camera. I refused to show any signs of being intimidated.
“Trainee Han Seungbeom?”
At Yang Hajun’s urging, I grabbed the microphone and held it near my mouth.
“It doesn’t bother me. And there’s no reason it should.”
After giving a brief answer, I immediately handed the microphone back to the production team, as if it wasn’t worth talking about.
I am a competent and busy person, so I don’t have time to pay attention to the noise of insignificant flies. I made sure that this nuance came across without any hesitation.
“Wow, aren’t you so cool?” With his eyes widened, Yang Hajun smiled and responded to my answer by making an unscripted, teasing remark.
“Yeah, that’s so Han Seungbeom.” Woo Kangwon nodded and said.
“That’s overkill …. just be handsome in face! Don’t be handsome in mentality too!”
“I envy you!”
The trainees who had a somewhat friendly relationship with me, and who hadn’t dropped in rank due to the subscriber votes, added a few words. Believing they had gathered enough scenes to provide viewers with a conflict, the production staff gave Yang Hajun instructions to continue.
Yang Hajun, nodding his head, read the scripted line and uttered the scheduled closing lines.
“Now, let me conclude the presentation of the first mission. To all the trainees, thank you for your hard work.”
And with that, the first competition, which had its fair share of problems but also had parts that went smoothly, came to an end.
***
After going back to the dorm, we stopped by the convenience store to grab a quick bite. Dinner was provided, so there was no real need to go to the convenience store, but the growing kids kept complaining about being hungry, so I had no choice but to be dragged there.
“I understand how you feel, but next time, you don’t have to step up like that. Got it?”
And I, who wasn’t really interested in food, was nagging Lee Danbi about the situation earlier.
However, contrary to my expectations, Lee Danbi maintained a defiant attitude, showing no signs of remorse.
“I’ll probably do the same next time. That’s just how I am. I can’t hold back from speaking up.”
“I know. I get it, if you keep giving them that much to edit, you’re only making things harder on yourself.”
“I’m not having a hard time.”
“People might curse at you once the broadcast airs.”
“It’s fine.”
“It’s not.”
A silent confrontation continued. Lee Danbi, pouting in dissatisfaction, shoved a hot dog into his mouth and spoke, “Hyung, do you know the trick to saying everything you want, no matter how rude, without getting cursed at?”
“…..Well.”
Are you asking me, someone who has experienced the most verbal abuse in South Korea?
The conversation had to last at least an hour.
“I’m only speaking the truth. There’s nothing to refute.”
Perhaps thinking I didn’t respond because I didn’t have anything to say, Lee Danbi confidently put forward his own answer.
“I said the right thing today. So, it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay.”
“I’m saying that I’m already protecting myself in the best way I can. If I had stayed quiet, I probably wouldn’t have been able to sleep because it would have bothered me too much. I hate that more than being criticized.”
“…….”
There was nothing more I could say after he said that. Adults simply had nothing to say when children were too mature for their age.
I sighed heavily, opened the can of soda, and put it in the child’s hand.
“Still, if something that you can’t handle happens later, make sure to ask those around you for help. Don’t try to solve it on your own.”
“Yes, I will. I promise!”
Sensing that the nagging was coming to an end, Lee Danbi smiled sheepishly and stood up. It seemed like he understood my point enough and was indicating that it was time to stop talking.
“Thank you for your hard work, everyone.”
“You worked the hardest, Seungbeom-hyung! Go inside and get some rest.”
As I led the group to the elevator, we encountered a yellow sign.
[Elevator under repair. Please use the stairs.]
“…….”
“…….”
The store we were at was on the basement floor, while our rooms were on the fourth floor.
“Do we really have to climb the stairs to the fourth floor?”
“I think so.”
“…..Nothing is going my way.”
Of all times, the elevator in the dorm broke down just when we’re completely exhausted. We had no choice but to climb the emergency stairs, where even the lights barely worked.
“Huff, hugh.”
“Don’t breathe in my ear! It’s creepy!”
“It’s so narrow! You should move over.”
With the noise of children’s bickering as the background music, we struggled up the stairs and were finally able to reach the entrance. We stood in the small space in front of the door, panting heavily.
“Today was really tough, how can this happen!”
With six people crammed together, there wasn’t much space. However, the light from the sensor-powered lights was so faint that, unless we were right in front of the entrance, we couldn’t see our feet.
‘Clean air. Please.’
The air was already bad enough, so I couldn’t understand why all the entrances were tightly closed.
Is it because it’s winter?
“Danbi-ya, hurry up and open the door.”
“Ah, the lights are off, so I can’t see the doorknob. Seungbeom-hyung! Please wave your hand on my back just once.”
Among the members, Zen was the tallest, but since it seemed like he might not understand Korean well, the kid pointed to me.
“Wait.”
The moment I stood on tiptoe and tried to wave my hand.
Tak.
Someone’s hand pushed my shoulder back.
“….Uh?”
Right behind me was a long flight of steep stairs.
I felt a familiar sensation.
The sensation of my body falling from a great height.
In that fleeting moment as my body was being pushed down the stairs, my head started to spin like a fleeting phantasmagoria1.
The hand that pushed my body belonged to a C-Class trainee. Apparently, he was a trainee of an agency that had been founded by a former employee of RH Entertainment.
‘F**k, I was so stupid! I got distracted by Nagi Zen!’
If I were to point out my mistake, it was that I had been too complacent.
The first complacency was that I hadn’t realized, despite dreaming about Kang Hyukwoo every night and grinding my teeth in frustration, just how ruthless he was.
“If you want to make a debut at all, mix in with the crowd and push that guy down the stairs. Break at least one of his limbs. You know what I mean? He also wants to be a celebrity, so he won’t want to make unnecessary headlines.”
The second complacency was that I had recklessly underestimated the methods Kang Hyukwoo had used to eliminate his competitors.
“He’s going to make it big. If he debuts through this program, he’ll ride the momentum and reach the top. If our company wants to win, we need to take him down now. I absolutely can’t stand to see SU Entertainment succeed.”
The third complacency was that I mistakenly believed I had put an end to all the gaslighting that Kang Hyukwoo had continuously inflicted on the trainees during my previous life.
“For a pathetic guy like you to debut, there has to be a spot left open in the debut lineup. If you make Han Seungbeom drop out, I’ll make sure you debut at our company. But if he’s still around, you’ll never be able to debut. Do you understand?”
I never imagined that the very faint voice I heard on my first day at Lucky Center was really Kang Hyukwoo’s.
It was deja vu.
I definitely felt this way when I fell off the building.
‘F**k.’
What I instinctively realized was that if I fell down from here, it wouldn’t just end with a broken limb or two. I desperately tried to reach for the railing, but I couldn’t reach it.
“Damn, fu—”
I stopped mid-sentence and snapped my mouth shut.
I’m an idol.
‘Fuck.’
“Hyung!”
The members’ faces were filled with horror as my body completely tilted into the deep darkness. Even the C-Class trainee who had pushed me looked shocked.
Of course, he was shocked. My body had likely been pushed harder than he had intended.
A trainee wasn’t some kind of assassin. There was no way he could manage to cause just the right amount of injury.
‘That crazy bastard Kang Hyukwoo!’
Of course, that piece of trash probably didn’t care about the consequences.
The moment I closed my eyes tightly and curled up my body to shield my head, a strange shout was heard.
“Leada! I’ll protect you!”
What’s that guy up to now?
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Translator’s Corner:
- Phantasmagoria refers to a confused group of real or imagined images that change quickly, one following the other as in a dream.
In this sentence, it means his mind was showing rapid replay of memories (like the one that usually happened before death or a major event) ↩︎
Like wow, MC really explained it well why idols like GD, Jennie, and Jang Wonyoung so popular
I really had a whiplash doing this series. Everything is so so spot on, if you’re a kpop fan, you can’t help but be “damn that’s so right”. Personally, among all the idol novels I’ve read, I like this one the most because everything just so relateable.