Chapter 15 |
In the end, the performance was a success. Just as Jay had wanted.
Although it wasn’t quite the song we’d been practicing the whole time, no one seemed to notice.
“Hyung! Hyung! The reaction is awesome!”
The reactions Do Yuda excitedly showed after the live broadcast were even more explosive. Like the previous official theme song stage, this performance also made it onto the real-time trending keywords.
It seemed that many fan accounts had already been created, as reactions from accounts with my face set as their profile picture flooded in, and edited GIFs were uploaded in no time.
— I keep tearing up right now. Today, Jay danced just like he did in his prime ㅠㅠ But now, he’s a fully grown man. It brought back so many memories, and seeing the passion still shining in his eyes made me cry. Was it because he was in front of his junior?
— I’ve become a Jay fan ㅠㅠ is it okay to start stanning an idol who’s been active for over 10 years? It feels like it’ll be a long wait before I get to see his solo activities
— Welcome to the bottomless pit. There’s over 10 years’ worth of activities you need to catch up on.
— Who is that beauty? His chemistry with Jay is insane. Please debut ㅠㅠ
— Visual Main Dancer. He will do. I’m going to vote.
Since I couldn’t ignore the reactions Do Yuda had gathered with so much effort, I responded appropriately and sent the other trainees off to the Lucky Center first. I had something more important to deal with right now.
After the staff dispersed, I waited for Jay in the empty waiting room. He came in later, and it seemed his manager had gone to bring the car.
“Explain.”
It was an order to take us to a place where there were no cameras or people. Jay and I needed to talk.
“Let’s go to my house.”
“Sure.”
Following Jay’s suggestion, we headed straight to his house. The manager driving the car looked at me with suspicion the whole time because he was taking a trainee home after work, but I didn’t have time to care about that.
As soon as we got inside the house, I grabbed him by the collar and yelled at him.
“You … are you crazy? How could you do something like that!”
“I had no choice.”
The rascal tilted his head in a defiant manner, and replied indifferently. As if he didn’t give a damn about the accident that could have happened if I wasn’t Seo Yutae.
“What?”
“I needed reassurance. You could just be a copycat imitating my hyung. It’s not like you’re just moderately popular, hyung. I’ve seen so many copycats to the point I’m already getting sick of them.”
Jay swatted my hand away and staggered into the house. Anger rising to the top of my head, I stomped after him into his bedroom.
“You’re doing all this just to get a little reassurance! Are you out of your mind right now? It’s a live broadcast! If you messed up, your career could’ve been ruined!”
Jay, who couldn’t walk properly, seemed to struggle even standing still, barely managing to steady himself by leaning against the desk. There was something strange about the way he kept staggering, as if his limbs didn’t have enough strength.
“Look at the response to today’s performance. It was the best in the past few years.”
Jay pulled out his phone from his pocket, tapped it a few times, and let out a hollow laugh.
“.…What are you talking about. Answer my question properly.”
“Is it because hyung is with me? Haha, why is it that when my hyung starts over from the beginning, the reaction is so much hotter?”
Then, he violently threw his phone onto the floor. The phone, which hit the hard marble floor, shattered into pieces.
“The only means of communication in this house is broken now. So, if you want to ask for help, you’ll have to shout, hyung. But this house is well soundproofed. If you’re going to do it, you’d need to shout with all your strength, so it would be better if you don’t provoke me.”
‘What kind of nonsense is this?’
Clang! Before I could even process what the hell he was talking about, he suddenly slammed the vase on the table against the wall.
‘F**k, why are you like this?’
I panicked and took a step back from the shattered vase.
Jay, holding the largest and sharpest shard, lifted his head. He was crying while forcing out a smile. Then, in a barely audible voice, he asked.
“Hyung, why did you leave us behind?”
“…….”
I was at a loss for words.
Ever since I left the group, I ignored all contacts from former members. Even when they came to my door and begged me, I didn’t even open the door for them and coldly sent them away.
Because Kang Hyukwoo threatened that if I gave them any false ideas, he would make sure they were all buried in the entertainment industry.
Since I couldn’t tell them the whole truth about my situation, I figured it would be better to cut ties coldly so they wouldn’t have any lingering feelings.
“Hyung, you didn’t tell us anything, and Hyukwoo-hyung is also keeping his mouth shut. He doesn’t even care about what we have to say. What the hell are we supposed to know?”
As a result, I had no idea what kind of personalities those guys who couldn’t break free from Kang Hyukwoo’s grip had developed, or what kind of influence they had been under since my death.
It was greedy of me to wish that they were living well and bravely.
It was careless of me to assume that the child who had lost someone he trusted and followed, and who had been living under pressure from the agency, would be fine.
“.…Calm down for now.”
“And then, you just died. Without answering any calls. Without leaving any message. You just died alone. Ha ha, I haven’t been in my right mind since that day.”
He pretended to be fine on the outside, but when the trigger was pulled, he was a ticking bomb that could crumble in an instant. That was the current Jay.
“Heuk, ugh, I want to die. Everything is meaningless. Huheuk.”
‘Either stab me or stab yourself, please just do one of the two. For goodness’ sake, which one is it?’
I couldn’t grasp his way of thinking at all.
His condition was strange, as if he had taken some strange drug. His breathing was ragged, as if he could pass out at any moment.
‘What the hell exactly had I done to make this kid lose his mind?’
I quickly scanned the room and found a drawer slightly open, filled with packets of medicine. Thankfully, they didn’t seem to be illegal substances; they appeared to be properly prescribed medications. He had been prescribed these medications, and yet I hadn’t seen him take a single one during the entire time we’d been preparing the performance together.
‘Is this a withdrawal symptom?’
I noticed from the moment he did that kind of shit on the live broadcast.
In addition, Jay was originally impulsive and easily anxious, so I had to constantly calm him down during our activities. There was no way his condition could be normal after he abruptly stopped taking his medication.
“Where are you looking?”
As soon as he realized that I glanced at the medication bag, his crying intensified and he lunged at me, grabbing my neck.
“Ugh!”
“Did you get tired of us? Was it because we couldn’t live up to what you expected? Is that why you left us behind? That’s what everyone says. They say Seo Yutae abandoned us because we weren’t good enough for him. They asked if hyung left any last words for us before he died. I had nothing to say after hearing those words. That’s why.”
“No. Calm down.”
“Was it because I wasn’t dependable, so you died without saying anything? Because you thought I wouldn’t be of any help?”
Regardless of whether blood was flowing from the hand clutching the sharp vase shard, he stubbornly stared at me. His eyes that had been filled with longing and despair began to frost over with hatred.
“They said things like ‘You’re nothing without Seo Yutae‘, ‘A former member has died, what the hell are you doing?’. Everything went downhill after you disappeared, hyung. But I was okay. Even when they called me a leech who was sucking the blood out of Seo Yutae, I was fine with it! But if you just leave us like that, what am I supposed to do? Huh?”
‘He’s completely lost his mind. This is f*cked up.’
It seemed like he had searched for all the malicious comments directed at him after I died. To take those cruel words seriously … he was definitely out of his mind.
Cold sweat broke out on my back. First, I had to calm down this guy who was completely agitated. If I provoked him even a little, he might swing the weapon he was holding.
When I stared at him with a rigid, wavering gaze, he screamed at me like it was a contest.
“If you have something to say, then say it! Please! Please, just say something! Hyung, it drives me crazy every time you act like that!”
“First, calm down. You need to calm down before we can talk.”
“I’m calm! There’s nothing wrong with me! Hyung, are you looking at me like I’m weird too?”
I didn’t trust his words at all, especially while he was swinging a weapon. I mentally wrote the character for ‘patience‘ once more and spoke slowly, as if soothing a child.
“There’s nothing weird about you at all. Let’s just put that down first.”
“…….”
His vision seemed to waver, and he let out a sniffle. He tightly closed his eyes and grabbed his head.
“Your hand is bleeding, so let’s put that down and talk. It hurts, doesn’t it? If you don’t put it down, I won’t talk to you.”
“…….”
Jay, who was standing there in a daze, silently looked down at the shard of vase in his hand. He seemed to be in such an extreme state of agitation that his mind wasn’t working properly.
‘This is the time!’
While the guy was momentarily distracted, I rushed forward, grabbed a blanket, and threw it over him. While he was floundering around with his vision blocked, I knocked him backwards and stepped on his wrist. As soon as his grip loosened, I snatched the shard and threw it far away.
“Stay still.”
“You lied again! To me!”
In an instant, Jay, who had been subdued by me, thrashed around like a five-year-old, kicking his feet. Whether he resisted or not, I slowly put my weight on him and held him down firmly. Then, I took a handkerchief from the drawer and began to stop the bleeding.
“…….”
“…….”
We stayed like that for a while, and when I quietly looked down at Jay’s face, I could see that the intense emotions he had been unable to control had started to wane.
“I didn’t lie. I told you to put it down and let’s talk.”
“…….”
“Are you not going to answer me?”
“…..I am going to.”
“Are you ready to talk?”
“Yes.”
“Then compose yourself from now on.”
“Okay.”
After confirming that Jay’s eyes had regained focus, I asked.
“Did you take your medicine or not?”
“I didn’t take it.”
“Did you talk to your doctor about it?”
“I didn’t. Because they wouldn’t allow it.”
I figured as much, you little shit.
“Why did you do something like this?”
“I don’t know…….”
“I told you not to act impulsively, but to think about it for at least a day before doing anything.”
“I planned it for a week.”
This crazy bastard.
“Haa……”
In short, he dug a hole by himself, went berserk, and impulsively caused this mess. Only then did I take a breath and lie down near him, just in case he got agitated and grabbed something to swing at again.
“You bastard, I’m exhausted. What the hell is all this chaos at this hour?”
“I’m sorry…….”
The guy, curled up into a ball, slowly crawled toward me. I grabbed his head in my hand and held it tightly.
He went from raging and crying like a madman to being depressed in the blink of an eye. I was totally confused. I wasn’t a psychiatrist, after all.
“If you pull this crap one more time, I’ll strip you naked and kick you out.”
“This is my house.”
I slammed my fist down on his head. I didn’t care if it’s the right way to handle it or not. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Aa!”
“Stop being cocky.”
“Aren’t you treating me too harsh? You should treat me with care.”
“Why would I treat a guy who caused such ruckus while holding a weapon with care? What’s there to cherish?”
“That’s right…….”
Seeing him respond with such a downcast attitude made the earlier situation felt like a lie. He pressed his cheek against the cold marble floor, his eyes fluttering open and closed.
“So listen carefully. Go to the hospital, take your medicine properly. Go take one now.”
“Okay.”
He crawled over, tore open the medicine packet and shoved it into his mouth, swallowing it.
After confirming that he took the medicine, I turned my head and saw that the sky outside the window had already turned dark. It was only then that I remembered an important fact.
“I had a group mission filming tonight.”
“I told the production team that you couldn’t make it. I said I’d take you to the hospital because you’re not feeling well and then send you back.”
“Such a meticulous bastard. Did you plan everything out so carefully just to bring me home and do this kind of shit? So what happens to my group then?”
“I guess you’ll just go into the remaining group?”
“…….”
Group selection was so important, yet he messed it up.
I really wanted to hit him, but I was too tired and lacked the strength.
“….You crazy brat.”
That guy turned on his laptop. In the midst of all this, he still had time to think about his laptop?
“You, what are you doing.”
“I’m going to open the Messenger on my computer and check the group.”
“You said that your phone was the only means of communication in this house.”
“I lied.”
“I really won’t leave you alone.”
“Actually, I was so worked up that my head wasn’t working properly, and I thought if my phone broke, you wouldn’t be able to call the police.”
What kind of celebrity would call the police? I absolutely hated the idea of turning this situation into a news.
“…..I’m proud of you, you little punk.”
“Huheu.”
That guy, sniffing loudly once, wiped his tears with his sleeve and checked his messenger.
“There are three C-Class and two D-Class. Each class has one Japanese trainee. At least there’s one S-Class. But even that one is a baby.”
“…….”
I’m doomed.
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Translator’s Corner:
Second-hand rookie: someone who already made their professional debut and spent several years without success, before suddenly hitting the jackpot. In survival show, this usually used to call the so-called “failed idols” who actually already debuted, but their career wasn’t succesful so they joined a survival show to re-debut.
I did this chapter while listening to Taeyeon – Time Lapse on repeat and my feeling is not okay AT ALL
You know, a few days ago I saw the International Emmy Awards put “Daily Dose of Sunshine” (a Korean drama released this year) in “Comedy” nomination. It was so asdfghjkl (anyway it was a good drama if you can stand the trigger warning, I think I cried every episode). AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I FELT WHEN I SAW THIS GOT GROUPED INTO “COMEDY” GENRE IN NU T_T I was like ?????? DJHKJDSHFSDJK I already removed it. Anyway, it’s not exactly wrong because from the start until the end this story full of funny moments that will make you laugh … but if you consider the main plot … just look at the first chapter and this chapter … saying it’s “Comedy” genre is like upsellings on coffee shop ….
Anyway I picked this up for my healing project (I love healing genre) because my SSS-Grade Cafe is coming to end (only 4 chapters left to translate). It shares the same quality that I adore with SSS-Grade Cafe aka it might look “just daily life” but there’s so much healing to be done. Let’s heal together.