Chapter 4 |
“Lie? What do you mean by that?”
“You’re not Seungbeom.”
I denied it at first, but the answer came right back.
Could it be that my attitude was so different from Han Seungbeom’s that she noticed? The strange reactions of Seungbeom’s family came to mind, so I thought that might be the reason, but I knew that alone wasn’t enough to make her suspect anything.
‘Because except for this woman, Han Seungbeom’s family didn’t even notice that I wasn’t Han Seungbeom.’
I suppressed my puzzlement and asked the question again, “Was there something strange?”
“No? You were fine, like a normal high school student. You’re a good actor. Though your facial expressions are a little blunt.”
The woman, resting her chin on her hand, spoke nonchalantly. When I frowned openly, she chuckled.
“It’s so funny to see you making that bad expression with my innocent nephew’s face. Why? Did someone else notice besides me?”
As I said that, a different emotion flashed across the woman’s face who had been smiling the whole time.
She was sad.
“They probably didn’t notice. There’s no way they could have noticed Seungbeom’s changes.”
“…….”
“It’s fine if you keep acting like this. No one else will notice Seungbeom’s changes except for me. Maybe even I wouldn’t have noticed.”
‘Maybe even you wouldn’t have noticed?’
As I sat waiting with a stiff posture, as if asking for an explanation, the woman, who had been fiddling with the handle of her mug, spoke again.
“I’ve made up my mind that if the day comes that Seungbeom suddenly disappears, I won’t be sad.”
“You make it sound like you had already predicted Han Seungbeom’s disappearance.”
Something was off.
There was no way an ordinary person could understand such a ridiculous resurrection at once.
“Do you know something?”
“Haha, I won’t tell you! Try thinking hard about it until your head hurts.”
“…….”
“Ahahaha!”
When I looked at her with eyes filled with disgust, the woman grabbed her stomach and laughed like a madwoman. Although she appeared to be laughing, but there was a chilling coldness in the air.
This woman really did seem to know something.
‘Although she didn’t seem to have any intention of telling me.’
“But it would be too harsh if I told you nothing. I’ll tell you a little about that family. If you stayed there, you would have felt it too, right? That family is not normal. This child always wanted to run away.”
“Run away?”
The woman nodded, “I’m the younger sister of Seungbeom’s biological mother. The woman in that house is the person Seungbeom’s father remarried.”
I rested my chin on my hand and thought about Seungbeom’s mother.
‘So that’s why.’
It was not common for a mother to be busy picking up the younger brother from cram school while neglecting the oldest, who was currently preparing for CSAT.
“Seungbeom doesn’t smile. Not just smiles, he hardly shows any emotions at all. In that family, Seungbeom was just like a decoration of a happy family. He was so kind-hearted that he couldn’t refuse them.”
‘To make it seem like a happy family, they kept Seungbeom close and watched over him, but didn’t acknowledge his existence.’
He wasn’t allowed to express emotions or act in ways that weren’t permitted. That was the unspoken rule I had broken. Even asking how my outing was or saying they were worried were actually warnings about my violation of the rule.
“What kind of a dysfunctional family1 is this….?”
I was being frank. The woman burst out laughing again and took a sip of her coffee.
“So, unlike my nephew, you look like you would never listen to anyone. What kind of person are you?”
“I can’t tell you.”
I was grateful for her telling me about Han Seungbeom’s troubled family history, but there was no reason to share every little detail of my story. I cut the conversation off sharply, and the woman asked the next question as if she already expected my answer.
“How old are you?”
“I like wine, not milk.”
‘I don’t drink alcohol though.’
I answered while lightly tapping the milk in front of me with my fingertips. It meant that I was an adult who had lived long enough.
“I suppose that’s probably for the best. I have no intention of placing any restrictions on you or spreading rumors.”
‘That’s a relief.’
“…….”
“Because that child was always suffering, and his situation was never going to get better. The fact that things didn’t go as those people wished is exactly what I wanted. So, go ahead and do as you please. However….”
The woman who had been smiling the whole time stood up, the smile gone from her face. Then, she grabbed me by the collar.
“If you treat my nephew’s body recklessly, I won’t let it slide. Live your life diligently so that you can achieve the happiness that child never had.”
“….I will.”
Since I couldn’t reply with “I don’t wan’t to“, I just went along with it. Only then did the woman seem relieved. She softly whispered “Thank you“, and hid her face as if she was about to cry.
Having patted down my clothes, wrinkled from being grabbed by the collar, I let out a small sigh. And then I remembered something I had forgotten.
“Oh, I was wondering if you could help me with something.”
“What can I help you with?”
What else? You should pay the price for grabbing my collar.
If there was something I wanted from a makeup artist, it was obvious.
***
Several days had passed since I met Han Seungbeom’s aunt. During that short, yet long period, I had been incredibly busy, hardly able to catch my breath.
Mostly, I spent some peaceful socializing time with the trainee babies from the same company.
“It seems that some of our trainees haven’t fully accepted Seungbeom’s joining yet. I tried my best to appease, though. Hmm … Honestly, it’s not something that’s easy for the kids to understand from their perspective.”
I thought to myself “Ah, kids at this age must feel the need in establishing their hierarchy“, in response to Lee Yooin’s words, which carried a hint of concern. It had been quite a while since I was in my teens, so I could hardly remember those days clearly.
As expected, right after joining the practice room, some babies who were supposedly trainees from this big entertainment agency started picking on me. After putting up with it a few times, I couldn’t take it anymore and caused a huge scene.
After that, it was very peaceful.
‘Come to think of it, I was like this when I was a trainee in my previous life.’
It was deja vu.
“Did you hit me? Thanks for throwing the first punch, you jerk!”
But back then, it was a real fistfight, and this time, we resolved it through conversation, so I thought it had been settled well. After all, I was a trendy guy who knew how to follow the flow of the times.
‘They looked at me like I was a crazy person.’
Seeing the kids who greeted me properly every time we crossed paths, even though I hadn’t asked them to, Lee Yooin made a strange expression.
Anyway, for a series of reasons, I didn’t have much energy left. I was tired after all that and was about to take a nap.
“Now, please put everything you’re holding down. The exam time is over. You did a great job.”
If I had to specify the location, I would say on the desk in the CSAT exam hall.
When the bell for the end of the exam rang and the answer sheets were being collected, I sluggishly lifted my body from where I had been lying. Of course, my answer sheet was blank, and I had been sleeping since the first period. The supervisor’s piercing gaze burned into my back.
‘What. At least I didn’t snore.’
I looked around and saw all of our wonderful examinees organizing their desks.
‘You guys are awesome. Thumbs up.’
“.…Aren’t you leaving? You said you had to go to your part-time job.”
“Leave me behind. I can always find another part-time job, but if I miss a handsome guy like that, I won’t get another chance. There are times when a woman can’t back down. And that time is now.”
“What are you talking about?”
The front of the classroom was noisy. Students were trying to catch a glimpse of Han Seungbeom’s face.
I was genuinely curious how rumors spread in an exam room full of unfamiliar faces. Their parents must be worried, so seeing the students acting like that, this ahjussi2 couldn’t help but feel really concerned for you kids.
I grabbed my phone back and immediately started running while calling Lee Yooin.
“Oh, Seungbeom. Are you done? Then you can come down to the main gate now.”
“Yes. You said it’s the team with the white padded jacket and the camera set up on the tripod, right?”
“That’s right. They said that holding a reflector would make it look too staged, so they just wore white padded jackets. They’ll probably approach you first. I already showed them a photo of Seungbeom, so don’t worry.”
“Okay.”
When the exam ended, the examinees assigned to the exam room all rushed out at once. I needed to leave before them. I quickly darted down the hallway, made it to the main entrance, and looked around.
‘Where are they?’
As I’d expected, the place was packed with reporters. The school was close to the broadcasting station, so there was nothing I could do.
‘White padding, white padding…….’
I found them.
“Wow.”
It felt strange to claim I found them. Among the other reporters dressed in dark black padding, they were the ones glowing white. They had probably been watching me for a while; they silently sent me a signal by raising their eyebrows eagerly.
I was the only one in a white puffy coat, so it was easy to spot me among all the other students who looked so similar, like kimbap rolls.
Here we go. Don’t do that eyebrow thing.
I tried to ignore their overwhelming enthusiasm and walked toward them casually. At just the right moment, the reporter standing at the front of the group grabbed my arm. She was a woman who strangely resembled Lee Yooin.
“Hello, I’m reporter Lee Yoosun from RBS. May I have an interview with you?”
“Ah …. yes, of course!”
I pretended to be a little embarrassed, and soon replied with a big smile.
And today, I went all out with a full makeup and hair styling.
***
Even though I had just taken the college entrance exam, there was no reason for me to skip practice since I had been sleeping the whole time anyway. Some of the trainees my age had mentioned taking a break from practice today, but if I had such a weak mindset from the start, I wouldn’t have even stepped foot into this company.
“Huh, let’s get started. Aaa.”
The first thing I learned about this body was its vocal range. Vocal range was something that you need to be born with. I hadn’t been the main vocalist in my previous life, so I prayed earnestly that Han Seungbeom would have a talent for singing, but unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.”
If I forced my voice, I could hit A4, but it didn’t sound very pleasant, and my throat became stiff.
After multiple rehearsals on stage, my vocal condition would deteriorate and my body would tense up, preventing me from hitting the same notes I could during practice. Realistically, the highest note I could hit comfortably was F4, and anything above that, like G4, was a struggle.3
‘This much would make it impossible to take on high-pitched ad-libs. Being the main vocalist is difficult.’
“….As expected, is God fair?”
It seemed like they were saying not to expect an amazing vocal just because I had an amazing face. However, while I couldn’t be the main vocalist, I was still capable of handling most vocal parts.
‘As for dancing, well, I can do it if I want to.’
I honestly wasn’t worried about dancing.
I had been the main dancer for years, so how could I not dance properly? If I couldn’t do it, I would just keep practicing until I got it right. I hadn’t fully adapted to the length of my limbs, the strength of my muscles, or my flexibility yet, but by the time I debuted, I would have everything adjusted.
“If you treat my nephew’s body recklessly, I won’t let it slide”
The threat from the woman that I called ‘Aunt’ echoed in my mind, but what could I do? Verbal contracts were never meant to be trusted.
‘I hope you live more carefully from now on.’
As I cleared my throat and prepared my sheet music to start practicing in earnest, someone burst through the door. It was a trainee assigned to the same dormitory as me.
“Hyung! Hyung! Big news!”
“Do Yuda. You have to knock before you come in.”
The rumors about me had already spread throughout the company, and most trainees avoided coming near me. However, as an exception, this guy kept approaching me.
“Hehe, I’m sorry. But I wanted to let you know quickly.”
With a face resembling a Border Collie4, he was the type of guy who, despite getting scolded, would quickly smile and laugh it off.
“Yooin-noona told me. There’s a new survival program, and hyung and I were selected to participate.”
“Yeah.”
“It seems like the company had already made a decision internally. Was your performance evaluation that shocking?”
Decision, my foot. They’re just rushing to row the boat because the tide is coming in5.
“Why?”
“They usually assign dorms by the trainees’ seniority, but they placed me and hyung together. I’ve been a trainee for a while, so I was shocked to be assigned with hyung, who just joined.”
‘Lee Yooin probably did a quick touch-up.’
“Are you dissatisfied?”
“No? I like you, hyung.”
It would have been understandable for him to complain that the opportunity went to someone who had only recently joined, but this guy seemed content just to have been selected as a participating trainee. Do Yuda, on the other hand, was searching through related articles, wondering what had changed our arrogant company’s mind, since they would never have sent their trainees to a program like this before.
“Huh? What is this?”
“I was worried because the weather was a bit cold today, but the inside of the exam hall was warm, so it was fine.”
My voice suddenly played from the phone that Do Yuda had been playing with.
‘It’s finally starting.’
“I think I feel relieved the most. Everyone worked really hard.”
What relief. I didn’t even open the textbook. I looked at the first page of the exam paper and fell asleep. The only thing weighing on me was the guilt I felt about Han Seungbeom’s CSAT preparation.
“Wow! SNS is all filled with stories about you. You’re on the news, hyung!”
Do Yuda picked up the tablet and showed it to me. All sorts of SNS pages were open on the tablets, and there were news videos and screenshots of my face all over it.
“Did you already know about this, hyung?”
I glared at the tablet and handed it back.
This was nothing to fuss about.
[Real-time hot keywords]
[CSAT Grade Cut]
[CSAT Answer Sheet]
[CSAT Korean]
[CSAT Grade]
.
.
.
[Cheongsol High School CSAT Guy]
[CSAT Handsome Guy]
[CSAT Guy News]
[CSAT Guy Survive IDOL]
As a matter of fact, top-class celebrities have always been the ones to attract attention.
“What are you talking about? Of course I didn’t know.”
They also have to be skilled at telling lies.
I smiled lightly.
Translator’s Corner:
- The term he used is 콩가루 집안, it literally means “soybean powder / bean flour family”. Since soybean powder does not stick together easily, it is usually used to prevent rice cakes from sticking together, and the expression “soybean powder family” was created because of this property. It originally meant a family where the relationship between family members was very bad and they did not get along well, causing domestic strife. However, not the meaning expanded and it became a term to call a family with severe internal conflicts or disharmony, like family with lack of communication, or even abuse. ↩︎
- Ahjussi. Men far older than someone / men in their parent’s age. It translated to “uncle” but can be used even though the person is not a relative. Here, MC is referring himself as “ahjussi” to those students because he’s in his 30s. ↩︎
- Vocal range is the range of pitches that a human voice can phonate. I’ll attach the photo below. ↩︎
- Border Collie is is a British breed of herding dog of the collie type of medium size. It originates in the region of the Anglo-Scottish border, and descends from the traditional sheepdogs once found all over the British Isles. ↩︎
- They’re just rushing to row the boat because the tide is coming in: it’s like when you’re rowing a boat because tide is already coming on, he means the action is reactive and not based on a prior plan, so it’s not decision. ↩︎
The range is like this.
Seungbeom’s highest range is in the orange. In his best condition, he could hit A4. However, idol perfomance is tiring so being realistic, the most he could do is F4.
CLOSE ENOUGH, WELCOME BACK AI HOSHINO