Chapter 922 |
Chapter 922
Suddenly, the entwined hands pulled Yuder in. His lips, caught off guard, were overlapped by another set of lips.
"..."
It was hot.
The first thought that surfaced in Yuder's momentarily stilled mind was such a sensation.
Yuder had experienced quite a few kisses until now. They were all with the same person, and not once had he felt indifferent about any of them. An act unimaginable with anyone else seemed the most natural and desired thing when it was with that person.
Despite always feeling new thrills and emotions, this kind of heat was a first.
The heat that came to mind wasn't the flame-like intensity one might expect during a heat period. Unlike fire that burns upwards, this heat pulling Yuder seemed to move in the opposite direction – heavy and dense.
Yuder vaguely recalled once seeing lava. When intense heat melts the earth and rocks, they lose their original form and become like water. However, this water doesn’t cool anything down but rather evaporates and consumes everything in its dangerous path.
The hottest liquid in the world flowing smoothly downwards, downwards.
Yuder's sensation was akin to swallowing and accepting this dangerous, hot lava through his lips. The heat slid down his throat into his stomach, instantly melting the cold emotions that had been frozen solid until just moments ago.
His eyes grew hot. Unknowingly, his body shivered reflexively. Yuder even felt the absurd notion that he might completely melt away due to this overwhelming heat.
What was the intent behind this kiss? Was it to calm him down after seeing him chew his lips in rage? Or was it an attempt to comfort him, having noticed his hesitation about whether to speak of the past or not?
It could be either with Kishiar, but this kiss was far hotter than usual. It felt quite distant from mere calming or comforting.
Why? What was the difference? The moment he harbored this faint doubt, a slender stream of emotion flowed into Yuder's body in response.
Unlike the warmth of the kiss, it was a cold, sharp feeling – unmistakably someone else's emotion. It was brief, but unmistakable. It was something Kishiar was feeling at that moment.
Whenever Yuder had received his emotions before, they were usually so complex and intertwined that it was difficult for Yuder to discern them as a single word. To describe the sensation more vividly, it was like looking at a painting with numerous colors messily overlaid. In a picture where the original colors were so mixed that the boundaries blurred, how could one easily distinguish and name each color? Especially when Yuder Aile, a human, hardly knew about the many colors in the world. If the number of colors he recognized was only about a dozen, then Kishiar probably had hundreds in his palette.
But this time was different. Yuder could quite clearly identify the name of the emotion that had just flowed into him.
Sorrow. And...
'...Fear?'
Fear? Kishiar, of all people?
What could he possibly fear in this situation?
Finally, their lips parted. Yuder, gasping for the breath he had failed to release properly, expelled it as if even letting it go was regrettable. The man, seemingly sharing this sentiment, gently pressed his lips again beside Yuder's.
Yuder wanted to ask about the emotion he had just read. Yet, at the same time, he thought he didn't want to.
It was a feeling similar to earlier when he knew there was no reason not to speak about the past, yet frustration rose as his lips wouldn't part.
'...Ah.'
Yuder's eyes widened slightly and then slowly blinked. He finally understood something.
Fear is not just an emotion felt in the face of an insurmountable enemy or situation. The cold confusion and anger that Yuder himself had felt were, in some way, closely akin to fear.
Then, what about the man before him? Being adept at concealing and controlling emotions doesn't mean he's incapable of experiencing negative ones. He, in fact, knew and felt much more and finer emotions than the starkly impassive Yuder.
Kishiar yearned to discover the unknown phenomena that had changed them without their realization, seeking answers in the past information Yuder might provide. Whatever Yuder would say, Kishiar would gladly listen and think it through with him.
But that caring and rational demeanor was not all there was to him.
While wanting to hear, he might also want to avoid. The emotions one wishes to know are closely linked to those one wishes to ignore. Kishiar might have needed the same calm he sought to give Yuder, a realization that came to Yuder belatedly, considering himself too dull and slow.
Kishiar, remarkably patient, could sometimes commit surprisingly impulsive acts in matters concerning Yuder.
And the only one in the world who could notice and respond to this side of him was one.
Yuder Aile. Himself alone.
"..."
When he realized this, Yuder felt all the anger and cold fear that had been boiling inside him vanish completely. Unknowingly, he rose from his place and moved closer to Kishiar. Then, reaching out, he caressed the man's cheek and suddenly embraced him tightly. It was a somewhat abrupt and impolite act done without a word, but Kishiar, without any objection, let himself be held as Yuder led.
Their two hearts beat rapidly at different rhythms. Yuder, cooling his boiling emotions, thought of wanting to protect, by all means possible, the being he held in his embrace.
Yes, wasn't that why he had joined the Cavalry and was here now?
Regardless of what had happened in the past, it wasn't more important than Kishiar in front of him. Yuder quickly sorted his thoughts.
"...The words I hesitated to speak or not to speak are related to what happened the last time I saw you in my past life."
"..."
"And that time, it was closely connected to an accident that occurred right after my second gender manifestation. Perhaps, you might have already guessed that much."
Unable to see the man's face as it was buried in his embrace, Yuder contented himself with looking down at the golden locks of hair pressed against his clothes.
"Just now, I hesitated whether or not I should speak of it. But now, I've come to a conclusion."
"..."
"Even if I chose not to speak, Commander, you would have accepted it. But I... want to tell you."
“But before that,” Yuder murmured clearly.
"First, I want to make sure if there was a similar change in your scent, Commander, and if there were any similar cases. Preparation is necessary in everything, after all."
The man, his head buried in Yuder's embrace, finally spoke, his breath hissing softly.
"...Yes."
Every matter requires adequate preparation. That was something Kishiar from his previous life had taught Yuder.
Yuder then gently lowered the face that had been nestled in his embrace. The eyes, hidden beneath tousled hair, slowly looked up at Yuder. He slightly pursed his lips and then pressed them against Kishiar's forehead.
"Today, it would be best not to do any more work. Would you rest with me?"
It was a statement with a clear invitation.
Yuder, not considering a refusal, waited for a response. After a moment, Kishiar reached out and pulled him closer by the waist. Yuder couldn't tell if Kishiar was smiling as usual or not.
"Let's do that."
The voice that came was a bit moist, lacking the intense heat that seemed to consume everything just a while ago, bringing an inexplicable sense of relief.