Chapter 171 |
For Lee Jaehun, ‘wealth and glory’ was very simple.
Literally, it meant ‘having a lot of wealth, a high position, and becoming noble, making a name for oneself in the world.’ In short, it meant having a lot of money, overflowing power, and becoming irreplaceable. Achieving this, so that at least he could live a good life, was Lee Jaehun’s definition of ‘wealth and glory.’
And it was much easier than the public generally thought.
“What can be done is easy.”
“…….”
“What cannot be done is difficult.”
These were words his past self constantly repeated.
Back then, his junior would ask.
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And his past self would reply.
“If only God can do it, then it cannot be done.”
For example, creating a utopia.
Turning back time. Controlling nature at will. Restoring a mentally broken person to an ideal state. Recreating his lost family, who were taken from him in the most tragic way, to their happiest moments.
Then his junior would say.
“Then, what do you want to do, sunbae?”
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He would gladly answer.
“To be happy.”
“…Is that something that can be done?”
“It cannot be done.”
“…….”
“God might be able to, but I can’t.”
What was his junior’s expression like back then?
“That’s why I chose wealth and glory, hubae.”
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“…Aha.”
“Because that’s the greatest happiness a human can choose.”
“I think I understand now.”
Lee Jaehun didn’t bother remembering things he didn’t need. He had so much to keep in his head that there was no room for unnecessary information.
So he said,
“We can never walk the same path.”
“I know.”
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“This could have been different….”
He couldn’t remember the expression on the other person’s face as they listened to him.
He couldn’t remember their face.
“That’s sad.”
“You’re lying.”
Right, it wasn’t necessary.
***
“Mister.”
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“…Ah, Minhong.”
Moon Sangun gently hugged Choi Minhong, who had returned to his arms.
“What’s wrong? Are you sleepy? Do you want to sleep?”
“Hug me.”
“Okay.”
He was already hugging the child, but Moon Sangun didn’t bother pointing that out. He hadn’t spent that much time with this child called Choi Minhong, but he had learned a few things in this harsh environment. Choi Minhong needed affirmation, not negation.
Holding the child a little tighter, Moon Sangun asked.
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“You were playing with that hyung and noona over there. Was it fun?”
“Yeah. Put your hand like this, here. If I hit it first, I win.”
“I see.”
He didn’t fully understand, but the child seemed to have enjoyed himself, which was a small relief.
“…….”
Then he felt a weight in his chest.
‘…Is it okay to just stay like this?’
Moon Sangun’s gaze fell on Jung Inho and Park Dahoon, who were talking nearby.
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“So, I should try it once too. You’ve done it a lot.”
“I haven’t done it that much. It’s not like we’re in a desperate situation where I need to ask kids like you to do it…”
“I want to try it. Park Dayoung wants to try it too.”
“That’s a bit difficult.”
“We’ll do it together. Taking turns will lessen the burden.”
They seemed to be discussing keeping watch.
“It’s still better to have an adult present.”
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“Everyone’s tired today while we didn’t even do anything…”
“You gathered firewood, too. If you really want to, then how about doing it with me?”
Park Dahoon’s face stiffened slightly at Jung Inho’s words. Moon Sangun realized that Park Dahoon, and Park Dayoung, who was watching them anxiously, didn’t particularly like Jung Inho.
After a brief hesitation, Park Dahoon replied.
“…No.”
“Okay.”
“…….”
“I thought you’d say that.”
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Moon Sangun’s heart dropped.
‘…His expression is, too…’
Inhuman.
The Jung Inho that Moon Sangun knew was a very rounded man. His hair was softly curved, his eyes crinkled gently, and even the smile on his lips was round. His demeanor and tone with others also reflected that smooth curvature.
But that didn’t mean he was weak or soft. Moon Sangun always felt uneasy when Jung Inho wore that expression, that neat, porcelain-like smile.
“I guess it would be alright for the two of you to take a watch shift. Can you do that?”
“…We’ll do our best.”
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“No, if it’s too hard, you can wake anyone up, so don’t feel pressured.”
It was the typical image of a ‘good adult’.
“…….”
Moon Sangun couldn’t help but notice the artificiality of that face.
If he’d been in a better mental state, he might have sensed the precariousness in Jung Inho, but Moon Sangun was too close to the edge to notice. He mistook the subtle tension emanating from Jung Inho, who was desperately holding himself together, for the unsettling feeling a monster exudes.
“Mister.”
“…Yes, Minhong.”
“I’m sleepy.”
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“Okay.”
He unconsciously pulled the child in his arms closer.
“Do you want to sleep while I hold you?”
“I like that.”
A word slipped out.
“Thank you.”
The child looked up at him.
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“For what?”
“For staying by my side.”
“Why?”
“I’m afraid of being alone…”
Moon Sangun was by no means brave or bold.
He hated to admit it, but he also lacked the courage to be disliked either, so he often kept his mouth shut. If something wrong was happening right in front of him, he knew he should stop it, but by the time he’d overthought everything, it was usually over. He was a frustratingly indecisive person.
So how was he supposed to handle this situation?
“…I’m sleepy.”
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“You can sleep.”
Threatened by a murderer, in a situation where he could trust no one.
“…….”
His hand gently stroked the child’s short hair. They had been sleeping like this until the people here found them, so Choi Minhong quickly drifted off to sleep. He seemed unburdened by the situation, which was a relief.
Moon Sangun’s gaze drifted towards the blood-soaked man.
‘It would be easier if I were the only one dying.’
But the thought that other lives, perhaps many, were at stake made it difficult.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, when Song Inmyeong killed Choi Minhong’s guardian, Choi Minhong himself wasn’t there. Since it happened while Moon Sangun had briefly lost sight of him, the child hadn’t witnessed the horrific event. It was fortunate for Choi Minhong’s development and future, but…
“…What is it?”
“…Ah, yes?”
“You kept staring.”
Oh, dear.
“I apologize.”
Moon Sangun blamed himself.
“It seemed like you just fell asleep. I’m sorry to bother you. You must be tired, so I apologize.”
“…You’re… very polite.”
Despite the compliment, the man’s face was quite wrinkled. Moon Sangun, not entirely lacking in social awareness, understood the meaning of that expression. It meant, ‘You and I are not compatible.’ Yet, this honesty was more comfortable for Moon Sangun.
He’d learned a few things from the current situation.
“Thank you for the compliment.”
Lee Jaehun’s brow furrowed even deeper, but he didn’t seem particularly offended. It seemed like the natural distance he felt towards someone he couldn’t get along with.
Moon Sangun unconsciously looked away and scanned his surroundings. The other adults, including Jung Inho, were lying down near the bonfire, and the two students in school uniforms were sitting in front of the fire, chatting. They were remarkably brave children, considering how frightening this situation must be. He admired them.
‘Still, it would have been better if they were in an environment where they could trust adults more.’
He truly thought so.
They looked like high school students, old enough to find their own way and develop independence, but this situation was an exception. In this harsh environment, where they could starve or be killed in a day, these minors deserved full protection.
Lee Jaehun’s voice reached his ears.
“They chose this themselves.”
“…Yes?”
“So leave them be. If you’re not going to take full responsibility for their lives, you should at least teach them how to stand on their own two feet. Just feeling sorry for them isn’t helpful.”
“…I…”
“Kids these days are very perceptive.”
Moon Sangun realized that the two students were staring at him.
“…….”
“…….”
Their gazes were unnervingly silent for their age.
“…Ah…”
“Judging by your looks, you’re the type to worry needlessly. Don’t bottle it up, talk to them.”
“…….”
“They’re not bad kids.”
Moon Sangun’s face flushed slightly.
“…I’m sorry.”
This man knew exactly what he was suspicious of.
Perhaps it wasn’t just Lee Jaehun. For some reason, everyone gathered here seemed perceptive, so perhaps everyone except the obtuse Moon Sangun already knew. Even so, his anxieties and suspicions didn’t disappear, but he was the only one kicking up a fuss.
“It’s never good to be suspicious of someone, and I’m ashamed. As an excuse, I lack confidence in myself, so I end up like this.”
“…No, really, why are you so polite…”
“Yes?”
“Forget it. No one here cares about that kind of things except for that dark guy over there and the pale doctor. Just be polite until you’re certain. Isn’t that how it works?”
“Excuse me? No, that’s a bit…”
“Don’t say it’s underhanded or anything. Just leave it be. Time will solve it.”
As the man closed his eyes again, Moon Sangun’s lips parted. Lee Jaehun’s hands, crossed over his chest as he leaned against a tree, were mangled with blood and blisters. They were clearly the hands of someone who had stood on the front lines, protecting others.
Unable to swallow his question, Moon Sangun asked.
“Are you alright?”
Whether Song Inmyeong’s words were true or not.
“Even after being so injured like that… do you still want to stay with these people?”
“…Are you picking a fight with me now?”
“Oh, I apologize. That’s not it, I was just… curious…”
In any case, Lee Jaehun, injured as he was, was in a prime position to resent someone.
Hurt people tended to be sensitive, and if there was a clear cause, it was easy to place blame. Based on what he’d heard and Song Inmyeong’s taunts, it was clear that Lee Jaehun had sacrificed himself for these people. And in a way, it did seem like his freedom was being restricted.
Not to mention Jung Inho, and Kang Mina, who pretended otherwise, but her gaze constantly landed on Lee Jaehun. If they were worried about his condition, Moon Sangun wouldn’t have anything to say, but what lingered in their eyes wasn’t simple concern, but a kind of obsession. Dr. Ha Sungyoon’s gaze was similarly intense.
“…I was just worried about you.”
The Lee Jaehun that Moon Sangun saw was a good person, and the people around him, despite being unharmed, displayed a strange obsession with him. Even putting aside Song Inmyeong’s words, he couldn’t help but feel uneasy.
“Especially since there’s no proper way to treat your injuries.”
“I did it because I wanted to. There’s no need to judge who’s good or bad.”
“…….”
“…That Song Inmyeong fellow seemed like quite a bad sort.”
Lee Jaehun, who had opened his eyes at some point, spoke, and Moon Sangun looked back at him. As if he’d sensed Moon Sangun’s concerns, Lee Jaehun seemed to have grasped something about Song Inmyeong without him having to say anything. It was surprisingly reassuring.
Looking away from Moon Sangun, Lee Jaehun continued.
“I heard there’s another group of survivors. From what that Song Inmyeong fellow said, and from what our people have found out.”
“…Yes, I was aware of that.”
Choi Minhong’s guardian, who had been alive and well, was caught and killed while trying to inform the detective there about the existence of the murderer.
“So I’m planning to go see them. I’m going to take everyone and see what they’re like.”
“…….”
“Will you come with us?”
Moon Sangun was the type of person who lacked confidence in himself.
Therefore, he couldn’t judge others easily. How could a hopelessly foolish person like him, who couldn’t even judge himself, criticize or praise others? Even if he saw the differences between the two survivor groups with his own eyes, Moon Sangun wouldn’t be certain.
But he couldn’t bring himself to refuse.
“…Yes.”
He agreed that time would solve things, at least to some extent.
Eventually, he would have to make a choice.