Chapter 160 |
To briefly recap, the otherworld did have a history.
‘It wasn’t exactly civilized, but…’
It still had a history of sorts. After all, the otherworld was formed by human thoughts layered over a pre-existing world. Just as the real world had changed over time, the otherworld had its own history.
However, that history wasn’t heavily emphasized in the novel. There were occasional hints suggesting the passage of time within the otherworld, but even Lee Jaehun wouldn’t have paid much attention to them if the author hadn’t explicitly mentioned them. The descriptions were that sparse.
‘Besides, what use is history or traces of the past in a survival story?’
The protagonist was a survivor struggling to stay alive, not an archaeologist fascinated by the past.
“Well then, we’ll be going now.”
“…Take care.”
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“Don’t overdo it.”
The protagonist didn’t reply.
Watching Jung Inho and Ha Sungyoon amicably head towards the lake, Lee Jaehun lowered his waving hand and returned to the campfire. Perhaps tired from cooking after a long time, Noh Yeonseok was curled up asleep nearby.
Lee Jaehun discreetly scanned his surroundings.
“…….”
Those remaining were Noh Yeonseok, Kang Mina, Yoon Garam, Moon Sangun, and Choi Minhong.
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‘The others went to gather firewood.’
Lee Jaehun had to advance the story within this limited time.
However, Moon Sangun was still wary of them, but since they had already saved him, his situation wasn’t urgent. It was a problem that would likely resolve itself once they encountered Detective Hong Kyungjun’s team. If left alone, he’d probably recover on his own and approach them.
‘But not Yoon Garam.’
Owner Yoon Garam was the first survivor to reveal her unique characteristic. This also meant that her inner thoughts were different from her outward appearance, that her thinking was twisted. She had been silent ever since developing her fire-related trauma, so there was no way she would open up first.
Thinking this way, Lee Jaehun casually walked over to Yoon Garam.
“Is something the matter?”
“…Pardon?”
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“You’ve been staring blankly in one direction.”
He wasn’t asking because he genuinely didn’t know.
‘She’s probably wondering why Ha Sungyoon went off alone with Jung Inho.’
Since a person could only carry a limited amount of resources at a time, they usually sent as many people as possible when gathering supplies. Anyone perceptive would realize that Jung Inho and Ha Sungyoon had a different motive.
Yoon Garam gave a slightly flustered, awkward smile.
“Ah, I’m sorry. I was lost in thought.”
“It’s alright if there’s no problem. I was just worried.”
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“Oh dear, did I cause you concern?”
Her unnatural smile quickly shifted into her usual gentle and composed one.
“Thank you, Manager. It’s been a while since I’ve had a cigarette, so I guess I was thinking about it.”
“…Is that so?”
It was a plausible excuse.
‘She did introduce herself as a smoker before.’
It was true that smoking was bad for your health but it was precisely because of this that people in society rarely commented on it. Perhaps she said it assuming he wouldn’t pry further, since they weren’t particularly close.
After all, Yoon Garam had probably spent her whole life trying to hide her innate nature, so such small lies must have become second nature.
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Just like Lee Jaehun.
“I hope it’s not too difficult for you.”
It was difficult to get through to this type of person, with their carefully constructed walls.
‘I already knew that, though.’
In the novel, Yoon Garam was a major character with significant weight to the plot. This meant that Lee Jaehun had ample opportunity to analyze her character. Perhaps this was the advantage of having read about this world. He had a rough idea of how to approach her.
Lee Jaehun sat down next to Owner Yoon Garam with a casual air. They had saved each other from a life-or-death situation, but their relationship was still ambiguous due to a lack of interaction. He maintained that distance as he sat.
He asked,
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“Are you usually sensitive to the cold?”
“…To the cold?”
“You’re always next to the campfire whenever I see you.”
“Ah.”
Letting out an artificial gasp, Yoon Garam smiled a beat later, her eyes crinkling.
“I’m not cold, but I’m sensitive to the cold.”
Another lie.
‘I’m not one to talk, but she lives a tiring life.’
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But he understood.
Yoon Garam’s obsessive love for fire wasn’t socially acceptable.
People with traits that invited ostracization inevitably became skilled liars. Lee Jaehun and Jung Inho were likely similar.
‘Still, she’s exercising restraint now.’
He recalled the events of the previous loop.
For some reason, after seeing Lee Jaehun’s burned hand, Yoon Ga-am had lost some of her self-control. While she didn’t openly express her desires, she didn’t hide them as desperately as before either. He remembered her being unusually quiet and clinging to Ha Sungyoon.
“…The weather isn’t exactly warm, are you sure you’re alright?”
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This indicated that ‘Ha Sungyoon’ was that important to Yoon Garam.
“Yes, I’m fine. The fire is warm.”
“That’s a relief.”
“Thank you for your concern, Manager.”
“Well… anyone can do this much.”
“…….”
After a moment of hesitation, Yoon Garam continued,
“…As expected, you’re thoughtful.”
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“…Me?”
“It’s true. You’re very kind and considerate.”
A strange kindness flowed from Yoon Garam’s face as she spoke.
“You’re like a father.”
“…….”
Right.
“…Is that so?”
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He’d expected this.
‘That’s her ideal.’
She had a close-knit family, the kind that went on family trips together. The trip during the incident had been planned by Yoon Garam’s father, who constantly made efforts for his family to enjoy cultural experiences. Yoon Garam loved her father.
To her, ‘father’ represented the ideal person she could never be. Someone who cared for and considered the weak, with a kind heart and the strength to sacrifice anything for their family.
‘And she experienced that incident on the trip her father planned.’
Since Yoon Garam both loved and resented the incident and her own nature, ‘father’ was someone to be respected and revered. She followed Ha Sungyoon because she saw an overlap with her father.
‘There were other contributing factors, but…’
Ultimately, Lee Jaehun had to achieve that same position.
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“…I still can’t relate, but I’ll take that as a compliment.”
“Oh my, it really was a compliment.”
“I’m not that good of a person.”
There was another possibility.
‘There’s no way she would have said that last night otherwise.’
Yoon Ga-am seemed impressed by how he had coaxed and soothed Choi Minhong. Perhaps she had been reminded of her ‘father’ by how he interacted with not only the young child, but also the underage Park siblings and how he subtly persuaded others.
So, all Lee Jaehun needed to do was show a few traits similar to Yoon Garam’s ‘father.’
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“I think you’re quite a good person, Mr. Lee Jaehun.”
“That’s a generous assessment.”
“Not really. You’re always busy looking after others.”
“Because I care.”
“Not many people would go so far as to injure themselves helping others.”
“I suppose so.”
“…I’ve always wanted to ask.”
She asked,
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“Why do you go so far?”
“…I don’t understand what you mean.”
“You didn’t have to help to the point of hurting yourself.”
After a moment of hesitation, Yoon Garam said,
“…You know? I was afraid of you, Manager.”
“…….”
“Actually, I think I’m still a little afraid.”
Owner Yoon Garam’s current demeanor was vastly different from what Lee Jaehun remembered from the previous loop. Back then, she was half-mesmerized by fire, just blankly staring at the world.
Now, she seemed relatively normal. Her smile was practiced for her lies, her voice softened to mimic Dr. Ha Sungyoon, and though she still tried to avert her gaze to hide her obsession with fire, she seemed much more human than before.
This unstable element, still unaware of her own madness, continued,
“Mr. Lee Jaehun, you seem like a dead person.”
He was indeed a man who had dⁱㅌd hundreds, thousands of times.
“Sometimes when you blink or brush your lips with your hand… your gaze shifts like a glass marble. It feels like you’re not human.”
“…Is that so?”
“The way you calculate pain not as suffering, but as a value… it feels like you’re a machine or a monster. It’s like your way of thinking, the way you’ve lived, is different. Normal people can’t be like that…”
“…….”
“…So, thank you for telling us your story, Mr. Le Jaehun.”
For giving me a reason to understand something different from myself.
“Thanks to that, I’m not as afraid anymore.”
Well, that was why she said something strange like ‘you’re like a father.’
Fiction and reality were different, and the author tried to reflect that as much as possible. In this kind of world, it was a fantasy to think that saving someone’s life once would break down all their walls and make them feel indebted. Owner Yoon Garam never felt any closeness to Lee Jaehun.
‘But now she’s heard the explanation for why he’s like this.’
Yoon Garam heard the reason for Lee Jaehun’s madness, and she accepted it. She could now see him as a person, ‘Lee Jaehun’, and not some incomprehensible being. And now, she seemed to think that ‘Lee Jaehun’ was more of an ideal father figure than she had initially assumed.
Though Lee Jaehun couldn’t quite understand it.
“…Should I say thank you for not being afraid of me?”
From the perspective of someone who needed to manipulate this woman’s mind, it was a welcome change.
“There’s no need for that.”
“If you say so…”
Having read about this world in a book, Lee Jaehun had a significant advantage. Unlike others, who had to experience everything firsthand to understand the consequences, he had a sort of instruction manual.
And this applied not only to the otherworld, but to its inhabitants as well.
“…Just out of curiosity,”
He continued, recalling the novel’s contents,
“Are you afraid of fire?”
“…Pardon?”
“Or do you find it irresistibly alluring?”
“…….”
“Isn’t that right?”
Ha Sungyoon was the doctor who had practically taken on Yoon Garam’s treatment after the incident. He was the first to notice her peculiar constitution, and he was the one who accepted her despite it.
So, it wasn’t Yoon Garam’s father that Lee Jaehun needed to emulate, but Dr. Ha Sungyoon.
“I couldn’t not know.”
That was fortunate.
‘Because I don’t know what her father said.’
Even Ha Sungyoon barely appeared in the story, only through Yoon Garam’s recollections. There wasn’t much point in dwelling on the words of a parent who only briefly appeared in a flashback. Lee Jaehun was grateful that there was at least someone he could easily imitate.
He remembered Ha Sungyoon’s ‘line’.
‘If it concerns the condition of my patient, I always pay close attention.’
“If it concerns the condition of my companions, I try to pay close attention.”
‘I knew Garam was particularly vulnerable to fire.’
“I knew Ms. Yoon Garam was particularly sensitive to fire.”
‘You might find this offensive, but I want to help my patient no matter what.’
“You might find this offensive, but I want to help my people…”
And then,
What was it again?
“…So, if you’re struggling, could you let me know?”
If you’re struggling, can you tell me, anytime?
“…….”
“…….”
And how did she respond to that?
Yoon Garam stared at Lee Jaehun with slightly widened eyes, and he saw something grayish-green flickering like fire within them. She was clearly remembering something familiar in his words.
After hesitating for a moment, she gave a slight nod.
“…Yes.”
It was an unusually short reply.
And because of that, Lee Jaehun knew this was the correct approach.
* * *
“…….”
He also knew that Kang Mina was observing them.
‘This d⋏mnㅌd life.’
It was hard to make a living.