Chapter 157 |
“…….”
Lee Jaehun, who had been quietly pretending to sleep, confirmed that the surrounding breaths had evened out, and then quietly rose from his spot.
There was only one reason.
‘I can’t sleep at a time like this.’
This night was crucial, probability-wise.
It was around this time in the previous loop that Lee Jaehun had acted like a madman, and it was also around this time that the stray dog monster had appeared. While he hadn’t lured the monster with fish guts this time, he had grilled fish, so there was a good chance the monster would come this way.
Lee Jaehun silently rolled his eyes and looked at Jung Inho, who was sitting near the campfire.
“…….”
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Judging by his stiff expression and rigid body, the protagonist seemed to be having similar thoughts as Lee Jaehun. The context might be different, but he must have figured that today would be a turning point.
‘Well, he’s not the type to volunteer for night watch for no reason.’
He probably thought they were foolish for falling asleep without a night watch. Of course, Lee Jaehun had let them, confident that he could wake up first if any trouble arose, but the protagonist wouldn’t see it that way. Knowing tonight was dangerous, he would have volunteered for night watch after considering various factors.
Sensing the increasingly venomous gaze directed at him, Lee Jaehun gestured with his eyes.
“…….”
“…Ah.”
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He seemed to understand why Lee Jaehun was silent.
‘I can’t break character.’
He currently had a mouthful of bright red lake water.
In his previous deal with the algae monster, Lee Jaehun had demanded ‘freedom in dreams,’ and the monster had wanted a new source of sustenance in return. Judging from the context, it seemed more like the monster wanted the framework, not the sustenance itself.
Anyway, the important thing was that he could now dⁱㅌ or act as he pleased in his dreams. Since actions and outcomes in dreams brought about visible changes in the waking world, this meant that Lee Jaehun now had the perfect environment to continue this ridiculous role-playing.
“Let’s go together. It’s quiet nearby, so there shouldn’t be any major problems for a while.”
“…….”
“Absolutely not alone.”
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Lee Jaehun listened quietly to Jung Inho’s rapidly spoken words. He thought that the protagonist was remarkably good at keeping his voice low enough not to wake the others. Jung Inho seemed that anxious.
‘From his perspective, tonight must be the critical moment.’
It was still a guess, but it was around this time that Song Inmyeong killed someone, that ‘Lee Jaehun’s’ symptoms suddenly worsened, and that the stray dog monster chased them. Even if Jung Inho managed to change ‘Lee Jaehun’s’ mind or save the two survivors immediately after returning, he’d still be anxious about missing something.
In the midst of all this, Lee Jaehun’s act of getting up to cough up blood must have seemed quite alarming. Although his behavior was different from before, ‘Lee Jaehun’s’ symptom of coughing up blood immediately after waking hadn’t disappeared.
As he quietly waited for the protagonist, Jung Inho, who had skillfully crafted a torch, approached him.
“Don’t go too far.”
“…….”
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He simply nodded silently.
‘It’s a close call… but he seems to be holding on to his sanity for now.’
Actually, when Lee Jaehun woke up, the protagonist should have immediately realized why ‘Lee Jaehun’ got up. After all, Jung Inho knew everything that had happened in the previous loop. The fact that he didn’t realize it right away meant that he was preoccupied with the thought that ‘things shouldn’t be the same as last time’.
Although he seemed to be trying to compose himself and regain his composure, this solidified Lee Jaehun’s resolve to be even more mindful of the protagonist’s mental state.
Stopping at a spot not too far away, Lee Jaehun vomited.
“Ugh, cough, huh…”
“…….”
“Keuh…”
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“…Are you alright?”
Even as he coughed, Lee Jaehun subtly shook his head.
‘D⋏mn it, do I look alright?’
His ⁱnsⁱdㅌs ached.
It wasn’t just that he had held the water in his mouth; he had fully submerged himself almost to the point of drowning. He silently offered a tribute to the algae monster for killing him painlessly at the right moment.
The act of vomiting, of expelling something from his stomach, was incredibly dⁱsgʊstⁱng and painful. It went against basic human physiology. He couldn’t breathe properly because of the vomiting, his stomach churned, and blood rushed to his head, making him dizzy. It was inhumane.
That said, it wasn’t difficult.
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“…I’m going to dⁱㅌ like this.”
It was just tiring.
“…Do you really have to say things like that in front of me?”
“My mistake.”
“…….”
“…Cough, ugh… My throat hurts.”
Lee Jaehun unconsciously scratched his neck, then stopped abruptly as he felt the sensation of blood-tinged scabs under his fingernails. His expression naturally turned sour as he looked at his reddened fingertips.
Jung Inho, who had been watching him, spoke in a calm voice.
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“Stop it.”
“…….”
“Why did you even bother bandaging it if you’re just going to dig into it and reopen the wound? It’s pointless, isn’t it?”
“It was a mistake.”
“How many times do I have to…”
Jung Inho, who had been speaking firmly while smiling, suddenly closed his mouth. The fact that the curve of his lips didn’t disappear even then was creepy, but Lee Jaehun just looked away. He sensed the protagonist’s efforts to maintain his composure.
Jung Inho, seemingly having barely regained his composure, slowly spoke.
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“…I’m sorry. I suddenly got angry.”
“It’s alright.”
“I didn’t mean to sound so accusatory.”
“I understand.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Stop apologizing.”
“…….”
“It’s normal to be irritable when you’re exhausted.”
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At those words, Jung Inho’s smile faltered, and then, as if he no longer had the energy to manage his expression, he wiped his tired face with one hand. It seemed that every point that could trigger memories of the previous loops was a landmine for Jung Inho.
After exhaling, he spoke quietly.
“…Why do you keep doing this? I’ve been wondering since last time. While there are occasional exceptions, you mostly cough up blood like this after you wake up…”
“It’s not as dangerous as you think.”
“Of course, if this were happening in reality, not this world, I would have rushed you to the hospital immediately. It’s only because so many inexplicable, unrealistic things happen here that I’m even trying to rationalize it. I don’t understand why you say it’s not dangerous.”
“However…”
“Coughing up blood is a serious symptom. Even Ha Sungyoon agrees. Why are you the only one trying to deny it? Since you don’t seem to want to tell the others, at least tell me.”
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He probably followed Lee Jaehun to ask this.
‘He certainly has a lot he wants to do.’
Just like in the second loop, the protagonist was indeed the protagonist. Struggling and striving to change the future amidst the chaos and mental breakdown, making plans, he was undeniably the center and pillar of this world.
Of course, there was no way Lee Jaehun hadn’t prepared a countermeasure for this.
“…I have a dream.”
He furrowed his brow slightly as if he had a headache, then smoothed it out. It was a clear change to show he was conscious of Jung Inho, and the protagonist seemed to have noticed it.
Jung Inho blinked a few times and asked,
“A dream?”
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“To be precise, um. A dream where I dⁱㅌ at the hands of the algae monster.”
“…….”
“I can’t wake up unless I dⁱㅌ by its hand.”
It felt strangely moving to finally reveal the excuse he had prepared since the second loop. To exaggerate a bit, it felt almost cathartic.
‘Well, honestly, it’s not even an excuse.’
This was practically telling the truth.
Of course, Lee Jaehun had no intention of revealing the convenience of the lucid dreams he experienced. But in order to tell a proper lie, the ratio of 99% falsehood to 1% truth was crucial. Having lived almost half his life on propaganda and fabrication, Lee Jaehun knew this very well.
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The important point here was what constituted the 99% falsehood and the 1% truth.
“Ever since the day I was dragged away by the algae monster… I’ve been having that dream. Every time I sleep.”
“…That’s…”
“Since this is a world where the mind is important, I think it might be a manifestation of the trauma I received from the algae monster. I don’t know the exact mechanism, but after I dⁱㅌ like that, injuries and such are reflected in the real world.”
“…But you coughed up blood.”
“…….”
After a moment of hesitation, he continued.
“My ⁱnsⁱdㅌs were… somewhat… injured in the dream, so that’s why.”
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This was the key point.
‘It’s not my fault, anyway.’
As long as this premise held true, it didn’t matter how much truth he revealed.
So what? I didn’t do it on purpose. Huh? Did I have those dreams because I wanted to? Did I dⁱㅌ at the hands of the algae monster because I wanted to? Actually, he did dⁱㅌ because he wanted to, but since the protagonist didn’t know that, in the end, the lie became the truth.
“It’s just my personal feeling, but it’s like… I dⁱㅌ and come back to life, so I feel minimally recovered. Not just in the dream, but outside of it as well. When I cough up blood, it feels like dead blood coming out.”
“…But you didn’t dⁱㅌ then.”
“…When are you referring to? The last loop? Or the one before that?”
“Probably the last one… Ha Sungyoon said that you didn’t dⁱㅌ, Manager. He said he just heard a strange sound, but why did it become like that…”
“…….”
“…….”
“…I’m sorry.”
At the hesitant apology, Jung Inho slowly exhaled a shaky breath.
“…Why is everyone lying to me… Really…”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Jung Inho. I’m truly sorry.”
“How much am I supposed to believe? What can I trust? What can I…”
He seemed to be trying to control his anger, but unfortunately, it didn’t remain as anger and soon transformed into something closer to resignation. He closed his eyes tightly, opened them, and then, extending a hand towards Lee Jaehun, asked,
“…Is there anything else you want to tell me?”
“…There’s a lot I don’t want to tell you.”
“Just one thing, right now.”
“…….”
Lee Jaehun tapped his lips as if considering, then put his hand in his pocket.
“…I’m glad I can tell you this much.”
“…So am I.”
“I’m sorry I handled things on my own.”
What Lee Jaehun handed to Jung Inho was a small, round fruit. That all-purpose cure-all that had played its part so well in the previous loop.
Jung Inho, receiving it, looked inwardly relieved.
“…Thank you for not hiding this too.”
“What should I say to that?”
“I’d prefer it if you didn’t say anything. I really… suffered a lot because of this last time.”
Squeeze.
Lightly gripping the fruit in his hand, he continued.
“…Did you know that eating the fruit also transfers mental states?”
“…I’m aware.”
“I gave you my fruit, Manager.”
“…….”
“It felt really awful.”
Jung Inho asked,
“Do you hear any hallucinations?”
“No.”
“…….”
“I haven’t heard anything.”
At Lee Jaehun’s answer, Jung Inho let out a short, hollow laugh.
“I see.”
* * *
“Do you hear any hallucinations?”
“No.”
“…….”
“I haven’t heard anything.”
Jung Inho couldn’t remember clearly either, but a sudden surge of anger rose within him.
Why are you pretending not to know what I vaguely sense?
“I see.”
Or do you really not know?