Chapter 116 |
Having read the novel, Lee Jaehun predicted his biggest obstacle would be his trauma.
After all, the novel had shown him as much. The otherworld had a way of exploiting personal traumas in the most devastating ways, and even Lee Jaehun had to admit he wouldn’t be immune.
So, Lee Jaehun considered what he truly couldn’t bear.
“…”
And so, he defined his trauma as his previous life itself.
But that was too broad, too abstract. What truly haunted him could have been the repetitive suffering, the memory of being trapped in a building with his ankles tied up, or the horrific relationships and their consequences.
Among these, one concept held significant weight in Lee Jaehun’s life.
“They shouldn’t have dⁱㅌd…?”
Read at Novelib.com
Something he couldn’t possess, yet had taken from others.
“…What did I do wrong…”
The trash that took away the things he loved.
The otherworld was the perfect habitat for the mentally ill to live, but it was also dangerous. Eventually, they all had to confront their traumas, amplified a thousandfold.
One of Lee Jaehun’s traumas was death.
“…Mr. Lee Jaehun.”
Read at Novelib.com
“I’m fine.”
“…”
“I’m fine.”
There was no way he could hold on.
* * *
Lee Jaehun lightly rubbed the area around his temples with the base of his thumb. Feeling a throbbing headache and his stomach unusually churning, he realized his condition was hitting rock bottom.
‘…This isn’t good.’
At least, he had a hunch about what caused this mess. After all, he had thought about it carefully before being swallowed by the otherworld. Lee Jaehun was certain that he was triggered by this little boy’s death sprawled out before him.
Read at Novelib.com
To be more precise, by the boy’s ‘unexpected death.’
‘I never thought my obsession with the original novel would come back to bite me like this.’
Rationally, he knew.
Since Lee Jaehun had saved so many people who were supposed to dⁱㅌ, changes were inevitable. Despite that, he relied too heavily on the original storyline.
Maybe the reasons were more complex. From having his mental strength eroded by the multiple deaths he’d encountered head-on since the last round, to his body being completely messed up from not being able to sleep properly due to lucid dreams, to simply the very fact of breathing and living in this world… The causes were numerous.
And he didn’t bother hiding his nausea.
“…Are you alright?”
Read at Novelib.com
There was no way to hide it.
It was intentional and he was at his limit. That was why he had no choice but to show his exhaustion.
“…May I ask you one more question?”
“No problem.”
“I’m sorry, you seem tired.”
Detective Hong Kyungjun apologized in a calmer voice than before. He seemed to have regained his composure, perhaps sensing Lee Jaehun’s unexpected turmoil. That was how cops usually were.
‘Since everyone around here is more or less insane, I guess I have to keep my wits about me…’
Even in the midst of all of this, this thought crossed his mind.
Read at Novelib.com
‘Should I appear weak?’
It was a very calculated thought.
Even while losing his mind, his instincts kept his mind working. Lee Jaehun had tried to distance himself from the group gradually, but for some reason, it had mostly failed. Nevertheless, he planned to complete the deal with the green algae monster he had made in his dream.
‘Because even after regressing once, the dream won’t change.’
The lucid dream wouldn’t be affected by the regression, so it would be better to conclude the deal in this timeline. In any case, Lee Jaehun was in a position where he had to kill. Once he regressed, the deal with the green algae monster would be completed and the blood on his hands would be washed away.
In this case, the original plan had already failed anyway, and his relationship with the group had become even stronger. It would be better to take measures to ensure the survival of the main characters, excluding Lee Jaehun himself, for as long as possible.
“…….”
Read at Novelib.com
“You seem to know the child’s name. Can you tell me how you know it?”
“…I saw him for the first time on the weekend.”
Yes, let’s just appear weak.
“I saw a car rushing towards him as he was leaving the store… so I pulled him back.”
That would be better for Jung Inho.
‘The detective seemed obsessed with protecting the weak.’
Thinking back now, that probably wasn’t Detective Hong’s true nature. He, like Owner Yoon and Kang Mina, was likely influenced by the otherworld and became fixated on something, and that happened to be protecting the weak.
But because of that, it was better for Lee Jaehun to appear weak. Of course, he felt incredibly disgusted by it, but he hadn’t managed to elicit sufficient wariness from the survivors. Rather than raising suspicions that his previous demeanor was fake due to a sudden change in image, it would be better to appear weak enough to cover it up.
Read at Novelib.com
That way, even after the murderer Lee Jaehun dⁱㅌd, the main characters wouldn’t clash with the detective’s team. All the blame would be on the mentally unstable Lee Jaehun and…
‘That trash.’
Exposing that vermin’s true nature would be easy.
Recalling the gazes of the student staring at him from the corner and the group of college students who had been looking at him, Lee Jaehun revised his plan. Words instinctively flowed out.
“At that time… it was probably the child’s family member. That person called him Minhong.”
“…You saved him.”
The detective’s expression, although not obvious, was basically saying, ‘Figures’. Lee Jaehun was momentarily annoyed that he, of all people, was receiving such unwarranted trust, but he managed to suppress it thanks to the exhaustion that had been building up in his body.
Read at Novelib.com
At that point, a cynical laugh escaped his lips.
“Well…”
“…….”
“I’m not sure.”
The needlessly kind ‘Lee Jaehun’ would have felt responsible for the child’s death.
“…Why did I save him…?”
If he hadn’t saved him back then, the child might have dⁱㅌd more peacefully.
Actually, that somewhat aligned with Lee Jaehun’s real thoughts. It was less painful to dⁱㅌ quickly, wasn’t it? He didn’t feel particularly sorry, but from the child’s perspective, Lee Jaehun’s help ironically resulted in more suffering.
Read at Novelib.com
Of course, he didn’t express such cynical thoughts outwardly. After all, ‘Lee Jaehun’ had to be a good person no matter how crazy he was, and he also had to be in the position of the week.
“I don’t know anything else. I ran away right after.”
“…Why did you run away? You saved him, Mr. Lee Jaehun. There was no need for that.”
“…I’m not sure.”
And unexpectedly, Detective Hong Kyungjun’s reaction was intense.
‘Who is he overlapping me with?’
First of all, it was clear that it was someone quite close to Detective Hong. The way he pretended not to be affected by Lee Jaehun’s evasiveness suggested that ‘that person’ had experienced a similar situation somewhere before.
Read at Novelib.com
How could he use this?
“…I just… I guess I just didn’t want to see what happened after.”
As he finished speaking, Lee Jaehun discreetly scanned his surroundings.
‘Is the search team only made up of three people?’
The search team seemed to consist of Hong Kyungjun, the apparent leader; the student who introduced himself as Song Inmyeong; and Kim Kijung, the musician.
And….
“…….”
It was about time the protagonist showed up.
Read at Novelib.com
‘Since he’s this late, he’s probably stopping by the pavilion.’
Considering Kang Mina’s timid nature, even if she had been getting stronger lately, she wouldn’t leave their largely non-combatant group in the middle of the park without Jung Inho or Lee Jaehun. Jung Inho or Intern Noh Yeonseok, having already been to the pavilion, would have guided them there.
And even after calculating all of that, it was time for Ha Sungyoon and the protagonist to arrive here.
“…Would it be a problem if I touch the child?”
“…….”
“I’m not sure. I only saw the child very briefly at the time… Isn’t it possible it’s not him?”
“…That’s unlikely.”
Read at Novelib.com
“His hand.”
He continued.
“If I could just… hold his hand once, I think I’d know.”
“…….”
At Lee Jaehun’s words, Hong Kyungjun quietly tapped his fingers.
He must be contemplating. If this were the reality, such a request would be unthinkable, but this was the otherworld, where laws and rules didn’t exist. Since they were all survivors, no one had the authority to prevent him from touching the body.
‘Of course, since it’s Detective Hong Kyungjun, he might stubbornly adhere to the law…’
Since Hong Kyungjun was projecting someone onto Lee Jaehun, he judged that Hong Kyungjun would back down.
Read at Novelib.com
“…You seem very tired.”
“I suppose I am.”
“Seeing a corpse in any form isn’t good for the mind. Unless it’s family or an acquaintance… witnessing someone’s stark death can be mentally damaging.”
“That could be the case”
“…….”
Tap.
Hong Kyungjun stopped tapping his fingers and slowly nodded.
“…It’s possible that it isn’t the child you saw.”
Clearly, it was a remark conscious of Lee Jaehun’s words.
‘Does he think this might be a chance to alleviate my guilt?’
That could be the case. The detective was inherently rigid, but he had learned flexibility throughout his life. He could be considering the mental health of the person he was trying to protect in his own way. He would cling to the law in the end, but it seemed he still had enough mental capacity to consider others.
Slowly blinking, Lee Jaehun approached the child’s body and carefully knelt down.
“…….”
Hands with cracked and torn fingernails, festering with all sorts of wounds.
He lifted them and brought them to the back of his own hand.
“…Ha…”
The sensation was chillingly similar to that time.
When he shielded the child’s eyes, when the small, fragile being instinctively clung to him. The small, insignificant feeling of the child tightly gripping his hand and wrist while sobbing was the same. The only difference was the irritatingly cold body temperature.
Lee Jaehun felt inexplicably wronged.
‘You,’
Why are you here?
“Mr. Lee Jaehun, it would be best to move away now.”
“…….”
“…Mr. Lee Jaehun.”
What had he done wrong that he had to see this corpse?
As always, the sensation was intensely vivid. More so than what he heard with his ears, more so than what he saw with his eyes. The feeling clinging to his skin, with his ears closed and eyes shut, sharply pierced his mind.
Death in the otherworld drove people mad.
“I…”
“Mr. Lee Jaehun, stop.”
“I saved him.”
Lee Jaehun was already insane.
“Why is he dead?”
And, he could become even more profoundly insane.
He could.