Chapter 814 |
Shaaak—
– At my gesture, the rainwater spread wide and surged toward Seong Hyunjae. The thin sheet of water slicing through the air froze solid, turning into something like a razor–sharp steel plate. Seong Hyunjae dodged the incoming ice by a hair, the heel of his shoe skidding across the frozen surface.
As the memories I had lost came back to me, the first thing I felt was, of course, anger.
That bastard stole my memories and ran off with them!
Once I yelled that out loud, old stretches of time began seeping back into me one by one. Starting with the memories from before the regression, the ones I had completely forgotten. The time that, from the perspective of this point in the present, was the future, but from my perspective, was the past.
Back then, Seong Hyunjae had hidden who he was and spent time with me, an ordinary F–rank.
“Was it fun conning an F–rank who didn’t know a damn thing?”
“I feel wronged. I only know about it through Han Yujin’s memories.”
“That’s your problem. I was genuinely furious and miserable! And even then, I got my hopes up.”
“But in the end, you ran! After wiping someone else’s memories without permission!”
Boom, boom, boom! Ice and electricity tangled together and burst one after another. It almost looked like fireworks. Ice flowers, more accurately.
“I thought I was the one who got rejected.”
“What, did you think I was insane enough to leave my little brother behind and follow some slick con man? In the first place, if you needed my power!”
Booom! My sword missed and struck an innocent house instead. From the fence to the wall beyond it, a massive crack split through everything.
“The person who needs something is supposed to cling to the other one, so what the hell was all that about following you! Did you pick up a stray animal off the street? I had a home!”
Sure, the location was bad and the place was shabby, but still. Freelance Hunters did not commute to an office, and the dungeons we went to changed every time anyway, so there had been no reason to live in an expensive neighborhood.
“If you had kept hanging around me, did you really think I wouldn’t have liked it!”
I knew Seong Hyunjae had his reasons. I knew perfectly well that his method had been safer. In reality, the Crescent Moon had teamed up with Marisa Moore and approached me by blowing up a dungeon, so there was that, too. On top of that, Yuhyun probably would not have liked me getting close to another S–rank Hunter.
Still, from the position of the person who had been suddenly shoved away, memories erased and all, of course I was angry.
Most of all, Seong Hyunjae had treated me like someone who did not need to be given a proper explanation. And fine. Maybe he had every reason to. Whether I knew his circumstances or not, what could I have done? It probably would have ended up the same either way.
But that did not mean I had no right to be angry. Even a mouse knew how to squeak when stepped on.
“You were obnoxious as hell! Seriously!”
Dodging the lightning crashing down, I closed in hard on Seong Hyunjae. I could not avoid the spreading current completely, so my whole body tingled with numbness. His golden eyes rushed close. I tried to grab him by the collar first, so he could not teleport, but he slipped away before my fingers even touched him. I stepped on a willow leaf, spun sharply, and kicked up toward Seong Hyunjae’s abdomen.
At the same time, Seong Hyunjae lifted one leg high and planted his foot against mine.
Thunk!
With the sound of collision, Seong Hyunjae’s body flew back in an instant as if launched. He spun in midair, then spread his wings with infuriating grace.
I fired several shots at that elegant figure. Of course, they did not work; all they did was flash uselessly in the air.
“Even after I turned back time, you know. My memories were gone, sure, but you still got on my nerves like crazy. A big part of it was probably because people kept comparing the Haeyeon Guild Leader to you, but I’m sure the feelings left behind had something to do with it too.”
Even while I believed I had never met the Sesung Guild Leader, I had treated him almost like a hostile rival. He was a dangerous opponent, yes, but even taking that into account, I had been overly wary of him. Even though he had never caused me any real harm. Outwardly, he had actually been quite considerate.
“I rather enjoyed it when Han Yujin bared his teeth.”
Seong Hyunjae smiled soundlessly. It seemed he was remembering those days, too.
“It is exceedingly rare for something small and weak to refuse to bow and sharpen itself in earnest.”
“And in the end, I was still small and weak, so you toyed with me. I was busy walking on eggshells around you, too.”
He was obnoxious and annoying, but to me, the Sesung Guild Leader had still been an adult I wanted to follow.
I had turned back time and gained a new ability, but I, Han Yujin himself, had not changed. The inferiority complex of a powerless F–rank. The impatience of having to protect the people around me. The desperation to get my younger brother back.
“How should I put it… I did think that if you acknowledged me, everything would work out.”
Because Han Yujin did not believe in Han Yujin.
If anything, I had thought of myself as something like a failure. So I needed someone else’s acknowledgement. Someone solid, someone dependable, who could believe in me in place of the me I could not trust.
“With Yuhyun and Yerim, my sense of being their guardian was stronger. And Chief Song, in some ways, was in a similar state to me. Hyunah was better than you in certain respects, but I needed actual power, too.”
The strongest adult, standing alone, bound by nothing.
But looking toward Young Chaos for that would have made Transcendents too distant a goal. Seong Hyunjae was a pseudo–origin, too, but he had remained among humans.
“So thanks to that, I kept trying to meet your standards. You tested me and graded me and… must’ve had a hell of a time.”
Looking back on it, I got annoyed all over again. I really was telling the truth when I said he was not a good adult.
“Even after you accepted me as your partner! If anything, you pressured me even more to match your pace!”
Well, I had also thought of that more as admission than graduation. At most, I had been a new student who had barely scraped by with a passing grade. Congratulations, you have finally earned the preliminary qualifications to become a partner. But graduating will not be easy.
And Seong Hyunjae was one hell of a picky professor.
Hissss—
– The rain evaporated in the heat surrounding me. The sword I had pulled from my inventory melted down. I tensed the muscles of my wings and concentrated the magic throughout my body beneath my feet.
My current stats were not inferior to Seong Hyunjae’s, even now that he had regained part of his old power. In terms of raw physical ability, I might even be higher.
Tap.
I kicked hard off a willow leaf.
At the same time—
Thunk!
– My golden wings shoved aside a huge mass of air.
I added force to force and was literally fired straight toward Seong Hyunjae. With a sharp crack of displaced air, his figure rushed up right in front of me. Of course, he did not just stand there and take it. Against an approach at this speed, the safest method was teleportation.
The instant Seong Hyunjae tried to teleport, I ignited the invisible Blue Willow Leaves I had scattered around the area.
Teleportation was not truly crossing space. It was simply rapid movement. In other words, if there were too many obstacles in the surrounding area, it became much harder to use properly. Fire had no physical force, but getting swept up in it still dealt damage.
“Got you!”
I hurled the spear I had made from the melted sword in my hand with every ounce of the acceleration I had built up. The flames infused with my mana collided with his teleportation route, letting me track his position almost instantly.
Ping—
– The heated spearpoint aimed precisely at the spot where Seong Hyunjae had teleported.
Chareureuk—
– Chains spread out in layers. But the force behind the spear was fierce.
A harsh metallic clang rang out, and Seong Hyunjae’s arms went taut as he gripped the chains wrapped around the spear. It lasted only a moment, but his feet were pinned.
I was about to lunge in without missing that opening.
Then light crackled.
The light that had seeped, at some point, into every gap between the falling raindrops burst all at once. Light reflected off transparent droplets, connected with more light, and was reborn as an even more powerful radiance.
“…Ugh!”
My vision went completely white.
At the same time, a signal like countless whispers layered together slammed into my ears. All sensation across my entire body went numb at once. It was as if I had been locked in a pure white space where I could not hear, see, or feel anything.
What the hell was this!
“Ghk—!”
Before I even had time to panic, something struck my chest with brutal force. I could not tell which direction I was being pushed, or whether I was falling down or flying up. I did not know what it was, but water. It was based on water. Since he had amplified light with it, freezing it would not work!
Fwoosh!
I dragged out as much flame as I could. Blue light mixed into the black flames that held drops of blood within them. The moisture around me evaporated rapidly.
Just as I got a breath’s worth of relief, a sharp force pierced through the flames toward me.
Kagagagang—!
I swiftly extended the Ruler’s Sword and wrapped it around the space in front of me. Arrows? Whatever it was, something metallic hammered against the blade. I knocked them all away, blinked my still–stinging eyes, and leapt.
“Seong Hyun—”
Boom!
The water pooled on the ground exploded.
Then—
Kwarurung!
Following the lightning strike, boom, boom, boooom! Every trace of moisture began exploding one after another.
Fine. So that was how he wanted to do this?
I poured even more mana into the flames around me. Fire spread outward. It began burning every house and mountain nearby. In the scorching heat, not a single drop of the rain pouring down could reach the ground. The stream had already vanished. I stood on ground that had not only dried to a crisp, but melted into lava.
The sky was packed with dark clouds.
Through the falling rain, I caught sight of black wings soaked wet.
“Did Han Yujin not enjoy it as well?”
“At a certain point, I did.”
It must have been from the moment he wrote in the word partner.
I had reached that ridiculously impressive man, even if only a little. There was no way that feeling had not been thrilling.
“I was anxious about whether I’d fail to meet your standards. I worried about what would happen if you lost interest. I got disappointed in myself and embarrassed by how lacking I still was. Even so, there was definitely joy in feeling like I was getting a little closer to that impossibly high line.”
A person so exceptional that everyone acknowledged him treated me as someone special. How many people would not feel good about that? Maybe someone full of confidence in themselves, someone who did not care in the slightest what others thought.
But I was the opposite, and so I could not help clinging.
“And besides, you did tell me I’d done well.”
He had poked at me, and when that was not enough, he had pressed down hard enough to crush me, but at the same time, when it seemed like I was about to fall completely, he had caught me, too.
He was nasty, but kind.
“So when you told me I had failed, it hit me hard. The situation itself was hopeless, too.”
I had thought I had finally climbed up to a similar position. I had felt like everything was almost done. I had gotten my brother back, saved Seong Hyunjae, and the world was safe. The instant I thought it was all over, everything collapsed, and Seong Hyunjae confirmed to me that I had failed.
“Back then, it really was hard.”
A little laugh slipped out.
“Even so, I stayed the same.”
“You remained Han Yujin.”
Seong Hyunjae said.
I had thought, in the end, I had been abandoned too. I had been told there was still a chance, but it had hurt all the same. Still, I was the same. It was not as if everything had ended.
“Though Seong Hyunjae had turned into something like a bratty five–year–old~ It was better than I expected. It wasn’t like you didn’t listen to me at all.”
“The memories remained, and Han Yujin was Han Yujin.”
“Yes. Everything I’d built up was still there. Even if the emotions from all that time disappeared, I was still someone the Sesung Guild Leader would find worth listening to.”
I had done a great many things, and even a Seong Hyunjae who regarded me with indifference would have to acknowledge that much.
The wavering flames spread wider and wider. My stats rose under the effect of the Last Gate skill. I lightly clenched and unclenched my fist.
“And then this time, even my memories disappeared. But I could still deal with some ridiculously impressive man who felt like an unfamiliar Transcendent without much difficulty.”
It was no different from meeting Seong Hyunjae for the first time. Seong Hyunjae, too, had held no feelings toward me. Even so, I had asked for his help, stayed wary of him, and worked with him. I had not thought of him as someone particularly above me. Sure, he was absurdly amazing, practically on the level of a Transcendent, and I had thought I should sweet–talk him carefully. But I had not once sincerely intended to lower myself before him.
“Well, maybe the instincts engraved into my body were still there. Even so, I’m certain.”
Now.
“I don’t need your approval anymore, Seong Hyunjae.”
His rain–wet hair, and the golden eyes beneath it, were still shining.
It was not merely his appearance. His very existence was beautiful. He was still someone I could call my ideal type, but it was different now.
“Even now, if you look kindly on me, I’ll probably feel good about it. But that won’t be the result of me trying to look good in front of you. It’ll just mean the way I’ve been trying to live well on my own happened to work on you too.”
His taste happened to be me.
I had not molded myself to fit him.
“Han Yujin… lived well.”
Day after day had been hard. I had been hurt many times, and there had been plenty of days when I collapsed in an absolute mess. I had fought with my brother, lost my brother, and regretted it. I had worried Yerim, Peace, Myungwoo, Noah, Hyunah, Chief Song, and so many others more times than I could count. I had failed, and there were still things I had not managed to resolve. The moment would come when I would have to say goodbye to my brother again. And it would not only be Yuhyun; I would probably fight with other people too.
Even so, I…
“I do still want to become stronger. There’s still a lot I’m lacking. Honestly, I don’t completely like myself yet. It’ll probably take more time before I can sincerely say, ‘Han Yujin loves Han Yujin!’ But I don’t hate myself anymore. I’ve climbed up from the negatives into the positives.”
Originally, I had not just hit rock bottom; I had been digging through it hard enough to come out the other side.
“Though I’d probably need more than a hundred years to be as full of self–love as you are, Seong Hyunjae! I can at least stand on my own now.”
Even if every feeling and every memory vanished and I found myself facing the great Sesung Guild Leader, I would confidently reach out my hand and meet his gaze, saying, Hello, Sesung Guild Leader.
Of course, I would still think, Wow, he’s competent, tall, and seriously handsome. I’m jealous. And because of that, I would try to coax him gently and lure him in.
After all, that man really was tempting in all kinds of ways.
“I won’t be one–sidedly swept around by you anymore.”
“I see.”
Seong Hyunjae smiled brightly.
I was probably making a similar expression myself.
Then he let out a short sigh and put on a show of sorrow.
“So Han Yujin no longer needs me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“It seems it is now my turn to be abandoned.”
“Oh, seriously, cut the bullshit when you already know!”
Gugugugung—
– The melted ground trembled.
Through the flames, I moved the mana that had been building and building all at once. The dark red, molten earth surged upward in a single wave.
Magma.
It was not water, but it was a semi–liquid full of heat. Like Yuhyun controlling fire, like Yerim controlling water, the hot liquid created by fire bared savage fangs at my command.
With the rumbling magma, I headed toward the sky.
“Come down!”
Kwagwagwagwa!
Hundreds of crimson pillars pierced the clouds. Like an enormous cage, they enclosed Seong Hyunjae and me.
“And stand beside me!”
The red, red bars closed in, pushing aside the clouds from the ceiling, the only exit.
– Grrrrrr!
Transcendent Delroux transformation.
The enormous white beast filled the sky, flames winding around his entire body. Seong Hyunjae looked up at me.
There was nowhere to dodge. All moisture had completely vanished.
He was still smiling.
I dropped straight down.
Kooong!
The hardened lava pillars shattered into stone fragments and rained down. Above them, raindrops began to fall again, one by one, fine and thin.
Seong Hyunjae lay sprawled in the center of the massive crater and spat a short mouthful of blood. It looked like he had taken the impact, but maybe he had used a defensive skill, because he was more intact than I expected.
I returned to human form, sat on his chest, and looked down at him.
“Then let’s wrap this up with a conversation. Are your emotions back or not?”
Honestly, I did not think they were still gone.
Right?
–TL Notes–
Tired of seeing Ads? Then please support me on Patreon! Any tier of subscription will make it so you won’t get any ads!
If you want to support me or give me feedback, you can do it at patreon.com/InsanityTheGame
Join my Discord! https://discord.gg/BWaP3AHHpt