Chapter 317: Li Banfeng's Land Deity Name |
Li Banfeng opened the seal box. A golden seal lay inside. The front of the seal was engraved with a silvery-white ring identical to the pattern on the box.
He put both the seal and the box away. The soil underneath was looser than the ground around it, most likely so the seal could absorb cultivation more easily.
Li Banfeng dug more than fifteen centimeters down with his bare hands. He did not find a contract, but he did find a gleaming iron plate shaped like an arched roof tile.
What is this iron plate for?
Eight large crimson words had been engraved vertically across its surface: The proof of this land spanning fifty kilometers.
Is this the contract? Li Banfeng wondered.
Dark flecks of blood stained the engraved characters.
Whose blood is it? The local land deity's?
Li Banfeng looked at the back of the iron plate. Two lines of small words were engraved there.
The second line read: The Mountain-Uprooting Lord was defeated by Bei Wushuang and ceded five kilometers of land to the southeast.
What does the second line mean? Li Banfeng wondered again. He knew what it meant. It meant that the Mountain-Uprooting Lord had been defeated by a land deity named Bei Wushuang and had ceded five kilometers of land.
Li Banfeng just couldn't help but wonder, Who wrote that line? Did the Mountain-Uprooting Lord engraved it herself after being defeated? That can't be right. Once a contract is buried, it can't be dug up again.
Digging it up would cost the land deity their standing. In that case, the Mountain-Uprooting Lord's contract couldn't have been dug up before.
But if it has never been dug up… Who wrote that line?
The more Li Banfeng thought about it, the less sense it made. The thing in his hand felt strangely uncanny.
He opened the Pocket Dwelling and brought the iron plate, the land deity seal, and the seal box before Wifey.
Wifey exclaimed in admiration, "Husband dear~ You are truly impressive! You found the contract so quickly."
"This iron plate is the contract?"
"This is a land deity's contract. It is also called a Vermilion-Script Iron Charter, and it is the proof a land deity depends on for their very existence."
Li Banfeng flipped the contract over. "Then who wrote these words?"
"The contract wrote them itself."
"The contract write things down all by itself?"
"Of course it can," said Wifey. "That first line appeared after the old hag received this land and sprinkled her blood all over her domain. The contract remembered it and wrote it down.
"The second line..."
Wifey paused, then continued, "That was from when this old hag fought the local land deity Bei Wushuang, lost, and had to hand over five kilometers of land.
"First, both sides must write up an agreement. Then they must carry it into the piece of land being handed over, sprinkle their blood on it, and burn the whole thing to ashes.
"Once that is done, the Vermilion-Script Iron Charters of both land deities will sense it. Then, without anyone touching them, they will write down the cession all by themselves."
It actually has a function like that! Li Banfeng thought.
When the Gramophone mentioned the second line, her tone grew rather heavy. "That old thing just had to stir up this kind of trouble. This is the hardest part to handle."
Li Banfeng said, "I think it's quite easy to handle. I will write an agreement too, saying that old thing fought me, lost, and ceded her entire territory to me. Then I'll sprinkle blood on it and burn it. Wouldn't the Vermillion-Writ Iron Charter record it?"
"This is a serious matter. It will alarm the Inner Provinces. Husband, you mustn't write it carelessly."
"A fight between land deities would alarm the Inner Provinces?"
"A fight between land deities wouldn't alarm the Inner Provinces," said Wifey. "But Husband, are you a land deity?"
"No."
"If you are not a land deity, what right do you have to swallow up a land deity's territory? If the Inner Provinces hear about a thing as big as this, they will send someone after you. When that happens, you will lose your standing as a land deity, and I am afraid you might not even be able to keep your life."
Li Banfeng thought this over. "But the contract has been buried underground all this time. No one can see it, so how would the Inner Provinces know?"
"Heyaaaa~ Husband dear, the Inner Provinces can see every word that appears on a Vermilion-Writ Iron Charter. We must find a way to stop them from seeing it."
"How can we keep them from seeing it?"
"There are hundreds of land deities out there. The Inner Provinces might not even remember that the Mountain-Uprooting Lord exists. So long as we stop them from noticing you, we can trick them and get away with this."
"That's easy, then," said Li Banfeng. "As long as my name doesn't appear on the Vermilion-Writ Iron Charter, they won't notice me. I'll have Meng Yuchun write an agreement saying she defeated the Mountain-Uprooting Lord and took all her territory."
"Darling Husband, no, no, no. That won't do at all. That would be the same as handing a whole piece of territory to Meng Yuchun. What would any of that have to do with you? Your name and blood must be on the Vermilion-Writ Iron Charter."
As the Gramophone spoke, she puffed out a cloud of steam, and the white mist curled round and round the Vermilion-Writ Iron Charter.
After a while, the bloodstains on the Vermilion-Writ Iron Charter slowly faded away.
"Sweetheart Husband, bear with the pain a little."
The Gramophone pricked Li Banfeng's finger with her needle. Li Banfeng then sprinkled his blood onto the Vermilion-Writ Iron Charter.
"There now, Husband. That means we are halfway done. Next comes the name. Your name must be on the Vermilion-Writ Iron Charter."
"Won't my name give everything away? The people of the Inner Provinces have never even met me."
"Didn't I already tell you? There are hundreds of land deities out there," said Wifey. "The people of the Inner Provinces can't possibly remember every single name.
"As long as we change the name secretly, they won't notice. Besides, this place is tucked away in such a remote corner that they will pay even less attention to it.
"The trouble is that the old thing lost a fight once. Because of that, her name must also be written on Bei Wushuang's iron charter. I can't change Bei Wushuang's Vermilion-Writ Iron Charter. If the records on the two sides don't match, that leaves us with a nasty little hidden danger. That's why this matter is so difficult to handle."
Right. Bei Wushuang's iron charter would state that Bei Wushuang defeated the Mountain-Uprooting Lord and gained five kilometers of land, but this one would say that it's Li Banfeng instead of the Mountain-Uprooting Lord... that's an obvious conflict.
Unless I beat Bei Wushuang too and dig up his contract as well.What am I thinking? Are land deities wild vegetables I can just pluck whenever I want?
After a moment of silence, the Gramophone said, "Husband, I can't think of a foolproof solution."
"Then don't think of one." Li Banfeng said as he shook his head. "Just carve my name on it. The Inner Provinces can't remember that many things anyway, and they probably won't go digging up an old fight between two land deities just to compare the records."
"That maaay be sooo," sang the Gramophone, "but I still don't feel at ease about it. It would be beeest if Husband's real name doesn't end up on this Iron Chaaarter."
"Would it work if we don't use my real name?"
As the Gramophone pondered, she sang, "We caaaan't use a real naaame, yet we caaaan't use a false one either. It must be haaalf true and haaalf false. Husband deeeear, do you have any nicknaaames?"
"Nicknames? I have plenty!"
"An ordinary nickname wooon't do. It must be a special nickname, one you accept yourself, but not one too many people knooow."
That left Li Banfeng feeling rather puzzled.
Wifey explained, "Heyaaa, Husband deeeear. It must be a name that you accept yourself so that this Iron Charter can form a bond with you and grant you the standing of a land deity.
"But Husband is not a land deity, after aaall," sang Wifey. "What we are doing is fooling the heavens and slipping past their eyes. If someone follows that nickname back to you, this will become very troublesome indeed. So the nickname cannot be known by too many people."
"Then I will just make one up now," said Li Banfeng. "No one except us will know it."
"Heyaaaaa~ Husband deeeear, making one up on the spot certainly wooon't do. Someone must have called you by that name before, and it must feel familiar to you. Otherwise, even you won't be able to feel the connection."
This is troublesome.
Li Qi? No. Absolutely not. Too many people know that name.
Fort Lord? Benefactor? Boss Ye?
No good. Too many people know those too.
Li Bai Sha… That might work.
Not many people know that nickname. Aside from the people at the orphanage, there's only He Jiaqing, Chubby Qin, Nectarine, and Leafy.
No, still not safe enough. Chubby Qin, Nectarine, and Leafy are all still in Puluo Province.
Is there anything safer than that...
"Li Furong." Li Banfeng finally thought of one.
Li Banfeng thought back.
Back at the orphanage, whenever life got even a little better, Granny Wu would send me out to buy Furong King cigarettes. Furong... close enough to count as a nickname. It is something that I would respond to!
Other than the people at the orphanage, only He Jiaqing has ever heard it. And that was just something I mentioned casually over dinner. He's probably forgotten it by now.
Even if he hasn't, there's no way he would guess that I ended up as a land deity in some remote backwater.
The moment he said it, Hong Ying burst out laughing.
"Li Furong? What kind of man's name is that?"
The other enchanted artifacts laughed along with her.
Only the Gramophone did not laugh.
"Husband," she said seriously, "I just told you that you can't make this up on the spot. This is terribly important. You must be absolutely careful."
"I didn't make it up," said Li Banfeng. "That really is my nickname."
Seeing how certain Li Banfeng was, the Gramophone finally stopped doubting him.
She heated the iron charter with steam until it glowed red, then used her needle to alter the words stroke by stroke. Half an hour later, the name on the iron charter was changed.
The first line of small characters now read: Li Furong was granted this land.
The second line of small characters read: Li Furong was defeated by Bei Wushuang and ceded five kilometers of land to the southeast.
"Husband dear~ The iron charter has been changed."
"Heyaaaa, Wifey, does that mean I am a land deity now?"
"Heyaaaa, Husband, as long as the Inner Provinces doesn't find out, you are a land deity!"
"If more and more people live in my territory, will my cultivation increase too?"
"Not yet, Husband," said Wifey. "Your cultivation is still at the Terranean Layer, while the cultivation brought by human presence belongs to the Cloudborne Layer. Once you reach level one of the Cloudborne Layer, you will be able to benefit from it. And when that time comes, even if the Inner Provinces find out about you, you will have some strength to deal with them!"
"Excellent, Wifey!"
Li Banfeng was suddenly brimming with confidence about the future.
"Husband dear~ Find a place to bury the contract first," said Wifey. "It must be somewhere hidden, and the land deity seal must be buried with it. Once that is done, this matter will be settled."
Li Banfeng nodded and said, "I will bury it back in its original spot."
"Is the original spot hidden?"
Li Banfeng nodded. "Very hidden. Ordinary people can't find it, and even if they do, they can't get in."
After leaving the Pocket Dwelling, Li Banfeng buried the iron charter back in its original spot and restored the soil as best he could. Then, with the land deity seal in hand, he used Path of Unhindered Steps to pass through the ground, through the wall, and out of the cellar.
Outside, he saw the eyeless wolf waiting there. The mountain wolf came forward and sniffed him. "Master, did you find the contract?"
"I found it. I am taking the contract away now."
"Then... then are you abandoning us?" the mountain wolf asked nervously.
Li Banfeng asked, "Can't you leave?"
"How can we leave? This residence has no exit!
"Besides, none of us have eyes. How are we supposed to survive outside?"
"What do you usually eat?"
"The living beings in the territory offer incense and tribute to the land deity," said the mountain wolf. "Those offerings follow the incense smoke and go straight into the granary here. Whatever the Mountain-Uprooting Lord had left after eating, she would give us a tiny bit."
Li Banfeng looked at the wolf's bony frame. The poor creature was all skin, bones, and hollow places. It had probably rarely eaten a full meal in its life.
"From now on," said Li Banfeng, "everything in the granary belongs to all of you. You seem like a sensible one, so come with me later and help divide the food. From now on, we will do things by my rules."
The mountain wolf asked happily, "Really?"
"For real!" said Li Banfeng, picking up the land deity seal. "And I will give you some cultivation as a reward."
The mountain wolf howled with joy.
Li Banfeng lowered his voice and asked, "How do I use the land deity seal?"
"Just stamp it on my head," said the mountain wolf. "Gently..."
Before the wolf could finish, Li Banfeng stamped the seal onto its head.
A puff of green smoke rose from the mountain wolf's skull, and the poor creature flopped to the ground, twitching all over.
"Master, you only need to stamp it lightly. This is so much cultivation that I can't handle."
Li Banfeng looked at the land deity seal and frowned slightly. "I gave too much?"
"Master, that little stamp gave me twice as much cultivation as the Mountain-Uprooting Lord used to give." The mountain wolf's voice trembled slightly.
Li Banfeng patted the wolf on the head. "My fault. I will control the amount better next time."
"I am not blaming you." The mountain wolf's voice trembled even more. "You are a good person. As long as you don't despise me, I will follow you for the rest of my life. Could you tell me your name?"
Li Banfeng said, "I am the local land deity. My name is Local Land Deity."
***
In Yuezhou, at Garden Stadium, a soccer match had just ended, and tens of thousands of spectators were pouring out.
Two spectators chatted as they walked.
"It's your first time watching a match live. Feels different, doesn't it?"
"It does. It really does. I shouted myself hoarse."
"That's the whole point! You come for the atmosphere!"
A poster hung at the stadium entrance, advertising a concert by a popular boy band happening the next day.
He Jiaqing stood beneath the poster, quietly watching the crowd stream past. A faint smile slowly appeared on his face.
At two in the morning, when the stadium was empty and still, He Jiaqing slipped inside. Then his body softened into clear water and trickled underground through the sewer.
In the sewer, He Jiaqing gathered himself back into human shape. He walked to the sluice gate and opened a hidden door beside it.
Behind the door was a tiny underground chamber, not even three square meters in size. In the middle of that cramped little place sat a box. It was a yellow wooden box with a white ring carved on it.
He Jiaqing opened it and took out a golden seal. He stared at the thing for a while, then sighed. "At this rate, I am not going to go bald, am I?"
Then he gritted his teeth, raised the seal, and stamped it hard on the top of his head. As he did that, his entire body started convulsing.