Chapter 313: Mountain-Uprooting Lord |
The Theatrical Temptress, who was disguised as Tinywing, crept up beside the fake Oldie Due-Taker.
The Film Projector was very nervous. Its opponent was a high-level Performing Arts Cultivator, and even the smallest delay could expose a flaw. Meng Yuchun, on the other hand, was nearly shaking with fury. She wanted nothing more than to rush over and tear the Theatrical Temptress apart, but Li Banfeng stayed calm.
The next ten seconds would decide everything.
The Theatrical Temptress looked at the fake Oldie Due-Taker and whispered again, "Did you hear me? I said I succeeded."
Without warning, the fake Oldie Due-Taker raised his hand and slashed across the Theatrical Temptress's face at a terrifying speed.
The Theatrical Temptress clutched a cheek in shock. "You old fool! You are playing dirty!"
Oldie Due-Taker's expression turned ferocious as he raised his hand to strike again.
"Don't you dare!" the Theatrical Temptress shouted. "I never accepted your offering!"
The moment the words left the Theatrical Temptress's mouth, the Theatrical Temptress turned and fled.
Oldie Due-Taker, you old dog. I came looking for you out of kindness, yet you tried to kill me so you could claim the reward for yourself.
Since you showed me no loyalty, don't blame me for showing you none. I will tell them you were secretly colluding with Meng Yuchun and see how you explain your way out of that.
As the Theatrical Temptress ran, the Theatrical Temptress's steps grew unsteady, and the world ahead began to blur.
There's poison on that vicious old thief's weapon, the Theatrical Temptress muttered inwardly. What kind of weapon did he use?
Thankfully, he didn't chase after me. Looks like I really didn't accept his offerings, so he can't collect his payment. Without that ability, he can't outrun me.
The Theatrical Temptress forced onward and ran all the way out of Meng Yuchun's territory.
***
Li Banfeng put away the Film Projector.
Meng Yuchun could no longer hold back her anxiety. "We shouldn't have let her get away. That thief knows where I live!"
Li Banfeng remained calm. "This was never something you could have kept a secret."
Meng Yuchun said bitterly, "Yes, this is my fault. I shouldn't have told the three of them where my house is."
Li Banfeng shook his head. "Even if you hadn't told them, you still couldn't have kept the location of your home a secret. You are a land deity. You can't move to another territory, and your house can't move either. Once someone sets their sights on you, it is only a matter of time before they find your home."
Meng Yuchun sighed. "Looks like I won't be able to protect the contracts, and I won't be able to hold on to this lousy place either."
"What do you mean you can't hold on to it?" Li Banfeng asked. "Just get rid of whoever is targeting you. If you can do that, wouldn't that mean you have protected it?"
Meng Yuchun looked helpless. "I still don't know who's after me."
"We will know soon. Let's head back to the cave first."
Meng Yuchun's expression darkened at the thought of Tinywing. "Tinywing was harmed by that bastard. She's most likely dead."
By the end, she was gritting her teeth.
"Might not be dead," Li Banfeng said as he shook his head. "At her age, she understands everything, yet she understands nothing. This matter is hard to explain clearly."
Meng Yuchun froze. "What do you mean? Isn't the Theatrical Temptress a woman?"
Li Banfeng only smiled and said nothing more.
After they returned to the cave, Meng Yuchun was eager to go back to her house and replenish her strength. "I will light up the boundary in a while. If anyone dares to barge in, I will turn them into dust."
"Your territory is over fifty kilometers wide. How long can you keep that up?"
"I should be able to last the whole night."
"What about tomorrow night?"
"I will rest during the day, then keep guarding it tomorrow night!"
"Can you guard it for the rest of your life? Didn't I already tell you? That won't work."
Li Banfeng took out the Film Projector and began recording the inside of the cave.
***
The Theatrical Temptress staggered to the foot of a sheer cliff, looking both wretched and terribly wronged. After dropping to the ground, the Temptress kowtowed, bowed, pleaded, and waited until a ball of green fire finally appeared above the cliff.
Only then did the Theatrical Temptress force out the words. "I found Meng Yuchun's home. Oldie Due-Taker has colluded with Meng Yuchun, and the two of them were trying to kill me!"
The ghostly fire circled above the Theatrical Temptress for a moment. Then a deep voice came from within it. "Lead the way. Raise the troops."
So urgent?
Of course it was urgent. Oldie Due-Taker had colluded with Meng Yuchun, the whole rotten business had already been exposed, and Meng Yuchun could come charging over at any moment.
The Theatrical Temptress said, "I have been poisoned. I can't walk."
The ghostly fire circled once more, then tossed down a pill. The Theatrical Temptress snatched it up, swallowed it, and soon felt strength rushing back into her limbs.
***
Inside the cave, Li Banfeng held the Missus Axes and watched it closely. This was his first time using the spirit-bound item, so he still did not know what it could do.
After two in the morning, the Missus Axes gradually warmed in his hand. Soon, it was almost hot, reacting as if its lover had arrived.
The Theatrical Temptress had already reached the area near the cave. Pointing ahead, the Temptress spoke to the ball of ghostly fire nearby. "Meng Yuchun lives in that cave."
Twenty-six aberrant creatures followed behind the ghostly fire. Their cultivation levels ranged from level four to level six, and among them were two level-seven roaming aberrations.
The ghostly fire gave its order. "Go lure Meng Yuchun out. Leave the rest to me."
The ghostly fire spoke with such authority that he seemed ready to shoulder the danger alone. The real reason was simple. He knew full well that Meng Yuchun was a Homebound Cultivator, and he had no intention of fighting her inside her own dwelling.
His tactic was to lure Meng Yuchun out first and have the aberrant creatures keep her occupied. Once she was pinned down outside, he would enter the dwelling, deal with the dwelling spirit, and dig up the contracts.
By then, Meng Yuchun would be completely crushed. Whether he chose to kill her or capture her, it would take almost no effort at all. After receiving the order, the aberrant creatures slipped into the cave one after another.
The Theatrical Temptress walked at the front, pointed at the opening in the rock wall, and waved the others forward.
The aberrant creatures understood. One after another, they crept silently toward the cave entrance.
The Missus Axes kept trembling in Li Banfeng's hand, as if it had seen its beloved and was shivering with flustered excitement.
Li Banfeng quietly opened the door of the Pocket Dwelling.
A man with bat-like wings was the first to fly into the cave. Once he entered, he never came out.
Meng Yuchun was not inside this cave. Only Li Banfeng was.
Had the Theatrical Temptress led them to the wrong place?
Yes. The Theatrical Temptress had indeed led them to the wrong place.
This was not Meng Yuchun's dwelling. It was a cave Li Banfeng had carved out using Severing Paths to Forge a Way.
At that moment, the Film Projector was working from the highest point in the cave, changing the entire layout until the fake scene looked real.
The Theatrical Temptress also sensed that something was slightly off, but the location itself was right. Besides, the bat had already flown in. Since she was not certain, keeping quiet was the wiser choice.
Li Banfeng grabbed the bat-man and used the force of his charge to throw him straight into the Pocket Dwelling.
Is this man the mastermind behind everything? It seems like he is not the only one.
After the batman came a python. Li Banfeng snatched it up and hurled it into the Pocket Dwelling.
A stag beetle followed close behind. Unlike the others, it was fast and vicious. It shot forward with its pincers spread wide, and one of them nearly caught Li Banfeng before he could react.
The Tang Saber flew out to help. With a single thrust, it skewered the stag beetle and sent it tumbling into the Pocket Dwelling.
Li Banfeng said, "A fierce battle is right in front of us. Aren't you going to stay a little longer?"
"My lord, I am busy. I will come back to help you in a bit."
He really was busy. Inside the Pocket Dwelling, everyone was swamped.
"Wicked woman, are you done eating or not? They are all waiting!"
"Hold that beetle down first. I am not done eating this bat yet."
"You are the troublesome one. You just have to eat them alive!"
Two centipedes, each over ten meters long, crawled up one after another. Li Banfeng called out, "Line up properly and keep order!"
After the centipedes came a stalk of bamboo.
Is this bamboo or a stick insect? Li Banfeng thought. Nevermind. Wifey can tell the difference. Next!
Hong Ying shouted from inside the room, "Wicked woman, eat faster! There's no room left in here!"
Out of the twenty-five roaming aberrations, eighteen had already gone in, and not a single one had come back out.
A roaming aberration covered in vines said to the Theatrical Temptress, "Did you fucking lead us to the wrong place?"
The Theatrical Temptress kept shaking in denial. "This is the right place. It's here."
The Theatrical Temptress could not admit it. Even if the others put a blade to the Theatrical Temptress's throat, the answer would stay the same!
Another roaming aberration, dressed like a cook, lowered his voice. "Looks like we have walked right into an ambush."
The two roaming aberrations had only been hired for the job. Once they realized something was wrong, they turned and left without looking back.
As soon as the two hired roaming aberrations left, the rest wanted to follow. They rushed toward the cave entrance, but it was already too late.
Meng Yuchun had been waiting inside her dwelling. Now, she stepped out, leaped down from the stone wall, and clenched her fists.
A halo of light rose at the cave entrance. The cook at the very front pulled his foot back in time, but the rooster behind him failed to stop and crashed straight into it, leaving not even a feather behind.
The aberrant creatures fell into panic. Meng Yuchun slowly stepped out of the cave and asked with a ferocious expression, "Who sent you?"
The roaming aberration covered in vines answered at once, "It was… it was the Mountain-Uprooting Lord…"
At a time like this, there was no point in playing tough.
Meng Yuchun shouted angrily, "Who is the Mountain-Uprooting Lord?"
How were they supposed to answer that? The Mountain-Uprooting Lord was her neighbor, the land deity next door, yet she did not even know him.
It was the truth. Meng Yuchun really had no idea. Ever since becoming a land deity, she had never once left her own territory.
At that moment, the Mountain-Uprooting Lord was standing on the hillside, waiting for news from inside the cave.
The roaming aberration in the chef's robe took out a pair of iron spatulas and clanged them together twice.
The vine-covered monster stared at him in shock. Those two clangs meant they had succeeded.
Did this situation count as a success? It seemed it did. At the very least, they had lured Meng Yuchun out of her dwelling.
When the Mountain-Uprooting Lord heard the iron spatulas clang, he drifted forward and entered the cave.
His plan was simple. While the fight inside the cave drew everyone's attention, he would slip straight into Meng Yuchun's dwelling, kill the dwelling spirit first, then dig up the contracts.
Yet after drifting only a short distance through the rugged cave, he saw a halo of light ahead of him and realized something was wrong.
The Mountain-Uprooting Lord turned to leave, but Meng Yuchun let out a roar. Another halo of light rose near the cave entrance, followed by one more ten meters outside the cave.
Then more halos rose, one after another, layer upon layer, sealing off every path of retreat.
This was a Homebound Cultivator ability, Hermit's Lockdown!
The Mountain-Uprooting Lord was completely trapped.
Meng Yuchun glared at the Mountain-Uprooting Lord. "You bastard, why did you try to harm me?"
As she spat the words out, thousands upon thousands of dewdrops scattered through the cave.
The dewdrops struck the aberrant creatures and sent blood spraying everywhere. The weaker ones were riddled with holes and died on the spot, while the stronger ones dodged and blocked as best they could, though none of them escaped uninjured.
A Water Cultivator ability? Is Meng Yuchun a high-level Water Cultivator?
The chef roaming aberration took out two ladles to shield himself, then hid in a corner, not daring to move.
The water droplets swept through the Mountain-Uprooting Lord's ghostly fire and forced this neighboring land deity to reveal their true form.
Meng Yuchun stared at the Mountain-Uprooting Lord in surprise. With a name like that, she had expected a mighty figure strong enough to uproot mountains. Yet the one standing before her was an old woman with white hair, a hunched back, and a cane in hand.
Wrinkles covered the old woman's face, and patches of mottled color spread across her skin. She looked as if she did not have much time left.
"Why did you try to harm me?" Meng Yuchun demanded sharply.
The Mountain-Uprooting Lord did not answer. She struck the ground with her cane, and every rock in the cave, large and small, flew up at once before hurtling toward Meng Yuchun.
Boom! Boom! Boom!
The rocks shattered against her one after another, and the rising dust swallowed her figure. When the dust finally cleared, Meng Yuchun stood exactly where she had been. She brushed the stone chips off her body and looked at the Mountain-Uprooting Lord without a single injury.
This was a Homebound Cultivator ability, Homebound Heart and Thickset Body.
The Mountain-Uprooting Lord tried to retreat, but the halo behind her was already closing in.
Meng Yuchun spat at the Mountain-Uprooting Lord again, and a water giant more than ten meters tall rose inside the cave before slowly walking toward the Mountain-Uprooting Lord.
Inside the cave, Li Banfeng listened to the commotion and tried to guess how the battle outside was going. A battle of this level was clearly not something he could interfere in.
I should go back to the Pocket Dwelling, Li Banfeng thought. But if I go back to the Pocket Dwelling now, I will be throwing the key in this cave. It doesn't seem very safe…
If Meng Yuchun won, everything will be fine. But if Meng Yuchun loses, I will still need to find a way out.
In the end, Li Banfeng decided to observe the situation a little longer. The commotion outside grew louder and louder, and the Threaded Earring kept trembling beside his ear.
"Master, let's go back. I am scared."
"You can be scared, but you better not piss yourself. If you piss in my ear, I won't let you off!"
After more than ten exchanges, the Mountain-Uprooting Lord was covered in wounds and could only remain standing by leaning on her cane.
She was old, but if the fight had taken place somewhere else, she might not have fallen into such a miserable state. Unfortunately, this was Meng Yuchun's territory, and they were right outside her dwelling. A Homebound Cultivator had the greatest advantage when fighting at their own door.
Now, the Mountain-Uprooting Lord could neither escape nor win. Was there still a way out? Could she talk things through with Meng Yuchun?
No. There was no room for negotiation anymore. While she still had some strength left, she had to make one last gamble!
The Mountain-Uprooting Lord looked at the Theatrical Temptress. The Theatrical Temptress, who was covered in blood, glanced at the wall of stone.
That was the Theatrical Temptress' way of telling the Mountain-Uprooting Lord that Meng Yuchun's dwelling was there. It was all he could do.
The Mountain-Uprooting Lord ran through the plan in her mind. Breaking through the barrier ahead would cost thirty percent of her remaining strength.
After that, she would have to charge into the dwelling and kill the dwelling spirit by force. That would take the remaining seventy percent, and only if the dwelling spirit was much weaker than Meng Yuchun.
Then, with the last bit of breath left, she would have to find the contracts and use them to threaten Meng Yuchun.
The more the Mountain-Uprooting Lord thought about it, the worse the odds seemed.
Should I gamble? The Mountain-Uprooting Lord thought.
Inside the cave, Li Banfeng listened carefully. The commotion outside seemed to have grown quieter all of a sudden. The sudden quiet was not a good sign. It likely meant both sides were preparing to use their killing moves.
He opened the door to the Pocket Dwelling and found complete chaos inside. A group of enchanted artifacts were fighting over food, while Hong Ying urged the Gramophone to eat faster.
The Gramophone could not eat anymore. The sound of gongs and drums burst from its speaker before it sang in a sweet voice, "Aiyaaaa... why are there so maaaany of theeese?"
On the battlefield, the Mountain-Uprooting Lord made up her mind and charged straight toward the halo. She had no choice but to gamble. There was only one halo ahead of her, while seven more were closing in from behind. If those seven halos swept over her, she would have no chance of surviving.
The halo sliced across the Mountain-Uprooting Lord and peeled a layer of skin off her, but she forced her way through anyway!
Meng Yuchun was startled by the sight. Old woman, you really don't care whether you live or die, do you? Fine. Since you are so eager to die, I will grant your wish!
Meng Yuchun was about to strike when she realized the old woman was not charging at her. She was rushing straight toward the cave on the stone wall.
Oh no! Li Qi!
That was the cave where Li Qi was.
Li Banfeng had just stepped through the door and thrown out the key when a bloody, mangled figure came crashing straight at him.
Bang!
The impact slammed Li Banfeng into the wall.
The Mountain-Uprooting Lord swept her gaze around the room, searching for the dwelling spirit.
Hong Ying heard the noise and asked, "What is that thing?"
Li Banfeng climbed up from the floor, panting with difficulty. "Yeah, what is that thing?"
All the enchanted artifacts fell silent.
Wifey gave a full burp. "Aiya, Husband, I am really going to get fat this time."
Author's Note:
PS. Wifey has gotten fat. Time to apply more machine oil!