Chapter 1176. Painful Past Part 2 |
"It requires a finesse and a knowledge of the Court's power plays that it would take me years to learn. I know that my parents are working on the trial and I trust them with my life.
"Screaming and lashing out in revenge is something that only dumb children would do. My mother has fought and buried more people like Deirus than I can count.
"The best move I can do is to wait for an opportunity to arise and use that time to hone my skills so that if Mom needs help with dirty work, I will be able to perform magic as not even an Archmage can.
"Lith, on the other hand, is my best friend and my ex-boyfriend." Phloria said.
"So what? Deirus hurt you intentionally, whereas my brother only hid Solus's existence to protect a huge secret that could cost his life. I mean, a mage tower? People died for much less." Tista said.
"Tista, have you ever loved someone? That kind of love that makes you willing to risk your life for them, to accept that special someone even if he's a monster, to wait years for him to open up and yet meet only silence and lies in return?" Phloria asked.
"No. I've had a few boyfriends in the past, but I don't think I truly loved one of them." Tista sighed in envy. She could only imagine how painful it was for Phloria, yet she dreamed to experience such feelings at least once in her life.
"I know that back at the academy I had just come of age, but that didn't make my relationship with Lith less meaningful. On the contrary, it set the bar for all my other relationships.
"I broke up with him not because my feeling had changed, but because I was tired of waiting for him to open up. I spoke with him about it countless times, but he always avoided the subject.
"Yet in my mind, he was always my precious first boyfriend, who didn't care if compared to me he was just a shortie with a killer glare, didn't resent me for being richer or stronger than him. Lith only cared for who I was, not for my family name.
"That's why when I dated other men, I refused to settle for someone who treated me like an object or that let his own feelings of inadequacy poison our relationship. Despite all of his shortcomings, I put Lith on a pedestal because at least he had been honest with me.
"Or so I thought until I learned about Solus. It destroyed everything I thought about him and tainted all the good memories made together with doubts. Suddenly he turned from the perfect first boyfriend into a complete stranger.
"How could I not resent him for sharing all the most intimate details of my life with another woman? How could I not feel betrayed at the thought that maybe the things I loved the most about him actually came from Solus?" Phloria asked.
"It's harsh." Tista nodded.
"It's more than harsh. When one of your enemies pulls a fast one on you, it hurts but you always know that in their shoes you would have done the same. I wouldn't ever expect such a thing from Lith.
"Not after the wonderful things he said and did for me over the years, like when we met at my Mom's birthday after so long or back in Kulah. Lith shared so much with me, even after we broke up, and yet he didn't tell me the most important thing.
"That his life is not his own and that any woman who gives him her heart is actually sharing him with Solus. I believe them when they say that he never cheated on me with her physically, but that's not the point.
"The point is that they ruined some of my most precious memories, turning what I thought to know about relationships into a lie." Phloria managed to hold back her tears but she clenched the armrests so hard that the stone cracked.
"I'm sorry, Phloria. I shouldn't have asked." Tista loved her little brother with all her heart, but she knew that Phloria was right.
If Lith had been his first love instead of just her brother, in Phloria's shoes she would still be putting the pieces of her heart together.
"Don't be sorry. Every time we talk about Lith and Solus, my sisters walk on eggshells to not hurt my feelings. I really needed to vent with someone, especially because there's only a handful of people I can talk about Lith's secrets." Phloria said.
Tista prepared a strong mint tea for them and took some pastries out of her dimensional item, letting her friend calm down before changing the subject to something less painful.
"You know, Tista, you may not be a good cook but your tea is truly delicious. You should teach me sometimes. Mine is nothing but hot leaves juice." Phloria said after the warmth of the beverage spread through her body and the sweetness of the cream eased her nerves.
"Isn't that what tea is?" Tista asked.
Phloria prepared another pot and gave Tista a cup.
"Oh gods!" Tista spat the liquid back into the cup after one sip. "I stand corrected, tea is so much more than that."
"Told you so." Phloria chuckled. "Are you still determined not to teach Tyris's universal language?"
"Yes, it would just be a waste of time. It's not like they can't, it's just that they refuse to learn it. We must find a better way to use our time here." Tista said.
They started discussing if it was better to join a workshop and share part of their magical knowledge with the people of Reghia or if to become part of the defense force of the city.
"You could use more combat experience, but I didn't quit the army just to join another." Phloria said.
"What do you mean, more combat experience? I'm a pretty good fighter and after sparring together for months, you should know it well." Tista said.
"I mean real practical experience, not sparring. Even before Awakening, I fought monsters, undead, and even Awakened." Nalear's image appeared in Phloria's mind for a split-second, but it was enough to make her shudder.
"During your missions for the Association, you always had solid intel, whereas when working for the army you have to respond to a crisis even when all you know are groundless rumors."
"What are you trying to say?" Tista asked.
"That you have yet to get used to facing a truly unknown enemy. As far as I know, it only happened in Othre with Thrud's meat puppets. How did you fare against them?"
"Badly. Their powers made no sense and back then I had no training with weapons." Tista sighed.
"Why? Do you think yourself an expert now? Do you have any idea how long your brother and I trained before he got a solid understanding of the basics?" Phloria's voice held no contempt, yet it managed to irk Tista to no end.
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