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Chapter 27: Look Forward

Due to our lust for each other at the time plus the longing even I didn't notice, we did 3 rounds of sex before we lay flat on the bed. Her body that I haven't tasted for a year felt that good.

Exhausted, Haruko clings tightly to me. Using my chest as the pillow, she lay there resting. Even my cock that was naturally energized now feels a bit weak from the number of ejaculations I had today.

"Hey, Ruki. Usually, you wouldn't look at someone you cut off again. I heard what happened with Yaeko."

Haruko mutters. She's tracing my chest with her fingers.

Eh? How did it even reach her? Is there some sort of network unknown to me?

"How did you know about that?"

"It's a secret from you. I wouldn't tell you how. Unless they give permission."

Huh? So there really is something unknown to me. But I don't sense any hostilities from it 

"Who are they?"

"That's not the point now silly. That Yaeko, she's with you even after she graduated right? Then you found out she lied to you."

Haruko looks up to me, her eyes glittering. That's beautiful.

"Yes."

"That girl is brave. Doing that even when she knows you. Possibly, she's prepared to receive your anger if you found out. But you, you didn't feel angry, you just cut her off."

Err. Really? I didn't think about that. When I found out, I immediately decided right then and there.

"Isn't that the same? I can't respond to that emotion. Even if I want to, I can't. At least, not yet."

"Then what about me now? Do you think I don't love you as much as she loves you?"

This emotion again. I hope Akane can teach me what that emotion really is. I want to hear her voice again. That silly smile too. But let's focus on Haruko for now. She's the one here with me.

"Honestly, I don't know. I told you I can't perceive that but I at least have an idea. You love those girls, right?"

"Yes, I love them, a lot. They're not like that when I found them. They're gloomy like the previous Ayase. I was inspired by you. From how you helped me before."

As I thought. She's imitating me but I don't remember ever helping her.

She drags herself up, and positions on top of me. Entrusting her body to me. Her big breasts are being pressed between us.

"I don't remember helping you. Isn't it just me stealing you from that guy?"

"Of course, you're like that. You don't know the effect you had on people. You're just set on satisfying your secret desire."

Huh? She's right. My only focus is to satisfy this desire. It doesn't matter to me how I affected the target or the people around them.

"Err. I honestly don't know."

"Well, let's leave it at that. So why didn't you push me away like with Yaeko?"

When I saw Haruko again, my desire to steal her got reignited before I knew it.

"Well, that day with Yaeko. I realized something when I was dealing with one of my targets."

"What did you realize?"

"That I was misinterpreting my secret desire all along."

"Eh? What do you mean? Tell me about it."

Her glittering eyes shined brighter, her face is now almost upon me. We can now smell each other's breath.

"Err. It's just I found out that it's not about you girls dating someone else. It's all about if you girls like or love somebody. Even if you're not dating, it still ignites this desire of mine to steal you. Maybe there's more I haven't understood yet but for now, it's like that."

"I see. That's why you reacted like that when I brought them out."

"Yes. And it doesn't matter if you're both girls. I will steal you all to myself as long as you show me that love you have for each other. That fills this secret desire of mine."

"I'm glad I got another chance to be this close to you."

Haruko pushes her head down, kissing me tenderly. It's not the kiss full of lust we had earlier. This seems so pure.

"I will be stealing you soon."

And I responded to her kiss. Just the right amount she's giving me. This kind of kissing feels good too. She's entrusting herself to me and I accept it. I'm already embracing her tight before I noticed.

"You're really an idiot. I'm yours, since back then, until now. It never stops even if you cut me off. Don't just decide that for yourself. I didn't cut you off at all."

"Ah right. I forgot about that again. That you girls have your own minds too. Then, Haruko, you're mine."

"Always. I still love those girls though."

"That's what really matters for me, right?"

"You're right. You silly. Let's go then. Club hours will soon end. Ayase will be confused if she didn't see us there."

"Right."

I pull her into another kiss, this time it's full of passion. And she responded to it with the same passion. Be it our tongue entwining each other or sucking the other to their own. We didn't hold back. Our salivas are now mixed and it's not a bad taste.

We only let go of each other after 5 minutes just kissing like that. She then gives me a satisfied smile just like that silly girl.

We then pick up our clothes that were thrown to the floor in the process of our passionate and longing sex.

We came back to the Book Club clubroom and went back to our seats. Haruko covered the door again. The 8 club members are still at it. Immersing themselves on the books. I saw Rindou, with some tears in her eyes, look like the book she's reading is that emotional for her.

They have no idea that we were just beyond the wall having sex in that small room.

"Now I wonder, these club members of yours. Are they always like that?"

"Yes. They even scared away one 1st year that she ran off to the Literature Club."

Err. That's probably that Fujii Mirae. That's why I wondered why she's at the Literature Club when there's an actual Book Club.

"Sounds hard to be their Club President."

"They couldn't be bothered to be the president so I took it. Since my 1st year here. They just want to read books. That also gives me the chance to set up that clubroom next door and make that small room."

Ah. She's right. Looking at those who keep on reading since I came in. They don't even bother to look at me or even those in the table near them. What are they, book eating machines?

"Now that you mention it. What club do they run?"

"It's just a random club I thought of. Poem Appreciation Club. It doesn't matter anyway. They don't need a lot of budgets so they just do the required work for evaluation. That room is the real purpose of that club. Our love room."

Yes. That looks like it was built with soundproofing as its focus. We just had that intense passionate sex yet no one noticed.

"You and your ideas. Good thing you didn't run for student council again."

"Actually, they're offering me a position but I refused. I don't want to feel that burdened anymore. Without you with me back there, I would've already collapsed from stress."

"I see. So that's how I helped you."

"Not just that silly. I won't tell you though. At least you know now that this path you set your feet on isn't just all about you fulfilling that secret desire. That's a leap."

Haruko reheated the tea and poured me one again after she drank some herself.

"But I trampled on many people's feelings."

"You don't feel regret anyway. What's the use of thinking about it? You'll just burden yourself."

Am I burdening myself? Maybe. I always said I don't feel regret but I keep on thinking about them. Ah. This girl is seeing right through me.

"You're right. I'm despicable, aren't I?"

"Maybe and maybe not. It all depends on the people you encountered so just stop thinking about it and look forward."

Look forward huh? Yeah, there's still a lot to look forward to. Satsuki, Shio, Kanzaki, Andou and the other harem members. I'm going to steal them all and make them mine. As to what effect I will bring them, maybe now, I should at least take a look. For Kana too.

"Thank you, Haruko."

"Between us, there's no need for that. I love you. But I love those girls too. I'm still igniting that desire of yours, right?"

Ah. It's weird. Even if Haruko loves me. The fact that she loves her girls is enough to ignite my secret desire. Only Akane and Yae pour all their love to me. Not minding the consequences. But now, only Akane became someone special to me that was separate from that desire. I wonder. Did Yae really move forward after she cried her heart out that day? I don't know. And now I'm thinking about someone I said I have no regrets for, again. Haa.

"Yes. It's funny. I thought I wouldn't see you again after that. You didn't ask me not to cut you off nor ask me for a reason, you just disappeared."

"What? Do you actually miss me?"

"It's not like that. People come and go in my life. I'm set on one goal, see. So I got used to people leaving when I cut them off. But there's still some of you who stayed and still seek me out despite what I did to your lives."

"Ah. You put my hopes up. Well, that's that. Just face them all forward and deal with them as you see fit. Those girls. They'll show up soon so you better not stall now."

Ah. Right. Those girls. I'll deal with them this coming weekend. Now that my interpretation of my secret desire changed, I have to look at them one more time and see.

"Yes."

"Ah. It's time. Now act like you already finished the trial."

Rindou walked to us after she finished packing. There are still tears in her eyes.

"Senpai. Why did that cub refuse the other cub's offer? He can live better that way but he just keeps pushing him away. And when he was almost dying from hunger, the other cub brought him food for him to live on."

Ah. That story. I guess that's really for introverts who hide in their shells and need a lot of push to move forward and be confident for themselves.

"It's good that you can feel the emotion being conveyed by that book. Once you finish it, we'll have a long talk about it, Ayase."

Will she succeed and have Rindou fall for her? I don't know. Let's see what will happen after she's done with that book.

"Yes! Ah. Onoda. How was the trial?"

"It's a great experience. Thank you Rindou. And Kojima-senpai."

I then finally drank the tea she gave me.

"Yes. You're welcome Onoda-kun. Will you visit the club again?"

Haruko is back at her act. Then I'm gonna act with her.

"Of course. I like the taste of your tea Kojima-senpai."

Her personal tea, yes. The one that was dripping from her earlier.

"I'm glad you liked your time here Onoda."

"Yes, thank you for inviting me Rindou."

"Will you join?"

"I'm still at the fence. I'm considering it since you're here."

I smiled at her. Well, Haruko is here too so if I join, I can spend more time stealing her girls from next door and spend time with her as well. But yeah, I can still go here anyway so I'll still try the other clubs if there are any who would offer.

"That's enough. Let's go home together?"

Rindou blushed when she said that.

"Okay. I'll walk with you to the station."

The sparkle on her eyes shines brightly again.

"Wait for me outside Rindou, I'll just talk a bit with Kojima-senpai."

"Yes!"

Rindou happily went out of the door.

"Typical Ruki. You're that smooth. I also fell for that, right?"

"I don't know, I'm just set at stealing you back then. See you then Haruko."

"Right. You're always like that. See you Ruki, I got my fill of your semen."

I got my fill for my desires from her too. This girl.

Haruko stood up and went to me and we had another kiss. The last one for this day. I'm glad I saw her again here.

Rindou and I walked towards the station. She just walks beside me quietly and I talk with her occasionally. I guess she's already satisfied that I walk with her.

On the way, I saw Shio from a car. She was with a man. Her husband? He looks angry though. Did they fight? Well, I'll ask her on messenger later. I'll take initiative, she looks like she's still thinking whether to talk to me there or not.

Rindou's train is going in the opposite direction so we separated at the ticket station. The train to my home went on smoothly and in 30 minutes I'm back to our neighbourhood.

"Ruki."

Someone hugs me from behind but that voice. Yes, I know it. It's the voice I want to hear.

"Akane. Why are you here?"

"I'm waiting for you. You called and I just can't wait to see you again."

Akane pouted. She still looks cute no matter her expressions.

"You silly girl. Let's go home then. Your hand?"

She then smiled and took my hand, our fingers crossed as we started our walk towards home. Now we really look like a couple. Some passersby even stare at us. Probably because of how beautiful this girl beside me, they're feeling it's a waste to have me walk with her like a couple.

"You said you realized something. You're going to tell me everything, okay? Don't leave out any details."

Akane said as she tightened her grip on my hands.

"Yes. I'll tell you everything. And I'll talk to Aunt and call Uncle to ask for their permission."

"Eh? You don't have to do that. They'll tease us."

"But I want to. It's not only you now who wants to live with me. I want to live with you too. You're gonna teach me that love, right?"

"Y-you, you really changed. Now I wonder what really happened. But I like this. I'm not going to say no."

Akane then snuggles up to my side, she's now hugging my arm. Now, this is really more like a couple. It's fine this way too. I want her. I really want her now. But I know it isn't because of love. It's something different. No one can lay their hands on her but me. She's mine.

"Yes yes, but I won't spoil you too much or you'll forget to teach me."

"It's enough for me to be a little spoiled. I love you."

She then tiptoed and kissed my cheeks.

This silly girl.

Before long, we arrived on our street. We went past my house and stopped at the next door.

"Mom. I'm home! Ruki's here too."

Akane shouted happily.

Comments 9

  1. Offline
    Undecided
    + 00 -
    After a long time I'm re-reading because I dropped it and wanted to refresh the story.
    While reading this first chapters I realized that the first time that I read it I had a filter so that anything cringe entered and exited as fast as posible but that filter doesn't work anymore and I have to suffer from so much cringe that I forced myself to ignore the first time.
    Like this is so painful to read but I remember thar I kinda liked it specially after they start interacting with Juri which is soooo far away
    Read more
  2. Offline
    itisme
    + 30 -
    Yessss, yes bitch. This is great! I do not care about love, I care for what is mine shall stay mine! oru2x I did not want to see her getting with someone else. 1st step complete.
    Read more
  3. Offline
    katakara123
    + 30 -
    Fack!.i really hate this facking MC! This is so facking unsatisfying!!!
    Read more
  4. Offline
    Junniebug
    + 130 -
    wonder what psychological condition mc has
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    1. Offline
      IXIIV
      + 80 -
      all of them? idk
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    2. Offline
      elengee
      + 20 -
      Dissociative Identity Disorder, due to severe trauma the personality is fractured and some parts are suppressed. You can't get hurt emotionally if you don't feel them, you can't get betrayed if you're the one leading them to betray another. As soon as he allows himself to feel any form of love, it'll trigger the feeling of it being taken away and the rage of being capable of murder.

      Random event that could've caused something like this, at the very least a severe betrayal but since it occurred at such a young age it might've been the parents. Imagine your father being a 'nice guy' (which he doesn't ever want to be, hence the suppressing the awareness of doing something nice)
      and seeing your mother betray him by sleeping with other men and catching them in the act.

      Depending on the author's understanding of the human psyche and how dark he wants to make it, it could even be a trauma where the child finds his father murdering the mother due to cheating or committing suicide etc.

      Currently his awareness leveled up from completely walled up and only being able to feel good about taking love instead of getting it, to a point where it's okay to be loved as long as they love others as well. (i.e. being able to love a woman if she loves a man in your life. rejecting a female figure that's without love; like an adulterous mother.)

      The reason Akane is 'special' is that he cared for her before the trauma, and now that he's 'healing' it's slowly coming up as a 'safe' way to feel love with someone you trust.
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      1. Offline
        Sieg
        + 02 -
        No bro, he's a very functional sociopath, that's why he feels things like emotions and feelings normally but basically doesn't feel guilt or remorse, that's why he's incapable of loving, how do you love without guilt? Maybe he wanted his parents' love in his youth and that's why he blocked that feeling so as not to suffer, which basically made him develop sociopathy, since each sociopath blocks a specific feeling associated with trauma, the way a sociopath loves is also possessive, Besides, he's been like this since he was a child, exactly like a sociopath, he has no remorse and is possessive
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  5. Offline
    Drsanders
    + 390 -
    That haruka girl is pretty genius to go lesbian mode and set up her own harem just to get back MC
    Read more
    1. Offline
      Mizzu321
      + 230 -
      Yeah, love that determination of her to make MC look at her again with this loophole. Though now I think MC will start to learn about love and possessiveness of heart from Akane, then he will become superchad with harem of girls.
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