Hirai’s Secret V |
On the following night.
In the rear wheel of my motorcycle, I put rubber gloves, a shovel, newspaper, a tiny tin of cat food I had bought at the supermarket, and a cut and flattened piece of cardboard I had at home, and attached it tothe bike with cords.
All of these things were prepared for mourning the cat.
After all, touching the cat with my bare hands was out of the question, so I had to wear gloves and carry the cat in the cardboard box.
I left home early, contemplating the cat’s burial. That cat… I wondered what happened to it.
Today’s weather was bright and beautiful as if yesterday’s day of incessant rain had been a lie. After being drenched by precipitation and exposed to the sunlight, the cat’s carcass must be devastated once more, now that I thought about it. A shudder crept through me as I imagined it. I should hurry up and bury the cat in the soil.
As I approached the exit of the tunnel, I slowed down and parked my bike where it would not disturb others. Nonetheless―
What was happening?
Nowhere on the tunnel’s exit road could a cat’s carcass be discovered.
Apparently, it had been disposed of before I arrived. Or perhaps someone thoughtfully buried it. Whichever the case, that was for the best. It would be better that way than to have it exposed here.
Although it was true that what I had brought with me had ended up in vain, I quietly clasped my hands together on the spot for the moment and set off on my motorcycle to head for the convenience store.
“Yoo-hoo! Hakamada…! Long time no see!”
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that my partner for today’s night shift was this Hirai.
Indeed, it had been a long time since I had seen Hirai. For over a week, I hadn’t seen Hirai as the schedule of our shifts was not always the same.
Seeing her smile was somehow a little nostalgic.
Yeah, the bust of her uniform was still as bulging as ever, too. Well, that wasn’t the point.
“Long time no see, Hirai.”
“Yeah, how have you been?”
Hirai and I exchanged a light greeting after she left the back room.
“I am fine, well, a lot of things have been going on…”
“Hmm?”
“Oh, no, no, no, I am talking about my side of the story. Did anything unusual happen to you, Hirai?”
“Me? I am in high spirits all the time! All year round! But recently I have been diligently working on the thin book!!”
“Hahaha… you’re making the thin book.”
“Yeah! The festival is around the corner! I have been putting a lot of effort into this one! I am not slacking! When it is finished, I will show it to you!”
Huh, I would pass…!!
“What? Why? I want you to have a look at it especially, Hakamada.”
“What’s with that?”
“You will understand it once you see it.”
I thought, unfortunately, that I had become accustomed to this unusual string of words as soon as I was able to follow up with her discourse.
…Right, I had already learned the identity of Hirai, which had been unknown to me until recently.
“No… After all, I don’t want to touch that kind of genre.”
Until recently, I had no idea what this kind of discourse entailed, nor did I have a clue what Hirai was getting excited about, but with the help of my sister, I checked it out on an Internet search site the other day. I learned that this behavior—what the general public referred to as “girls like Hirai and the others who concentrated on one thing to heighten their excitement”—was a pathology.
“Hakamada, why don’t you get hooked on ‘yaoi’ and become a fudanshi!!”
“As if!! How could you say that with a broad smile on your face…!!”
I involuntarily launched a clean counterattack.
“Hirai, please don’t talk about this stuff at work, it’s awkward for me.”
“Huh? I enjoy it, though, particularly when you get confused.”
“…Hah.”
“Sorry… but when I look at you, Hakamada, it’s apparent that you reek of playing the bottom role… or bullying.”
“Hiraiiiiii?!”
“I mean, I am a fujoshi! Even when I am working, I am a living creature that looks for moe, you know? I can accept anything from prepubescent boy to uncles, intense or soft, oh, and I am not opposed to humanoid creatures, though lately, I have been able to accept inorganic things as well…”
“Inorganic?!”
Right. Now, this person herself had candidly unveiled herself without a shred of embarrassment.
What was hidden was that Hirai Kaname, a.k.a. Lolita Big Tits Hirai, was a splendid fujoshi who loved “yaoi,” which meant “no plot, no punchlines, and no meaning,”[i] in short. Among them, she was a fearless expert. She was an open fujoshi. Furthermore, she loved these things, recommended them, and even produced them on behalf of yaoi fans all over the country.
For those of you who were not familiar with this, please try typing those words into the search bar. If you had the courage and determination to take it all in, you could do so by going to… (this was important).
The details beyond this were too much for me to explain… since it was quite shocking.
I mean, girls had such horrifying thoughts; they were so introspective. What did she mean by humanoid and inorganic things?
Why did you produce and sell so many books of such nature during the summer and winter?
“These books are very profitable. And above all, it’s enjoyable! When everyone gathers together, the topics of conversation broaden!”
Don’t mention it with those sparkling eyes of yours…!
T/N:
[i] It’s the term for “yaoi” when the word “yaoi” itself did not exist yet in the past