The Shifting Normalcy of Daily Life IV |
That person wasn’t someone who could see those things, right? He might not have been normal but he didn’t have that kind of ability like me.
“Um.”
“Yes.”
“I have another question. Um, about Aoyama, that person, he’s a veteran of the night shift group, isn’t he? For someone who’s so spooked and freaked out, he’s rather full of life…”
“That person is an ‘irregular’.”
“Irregular…?”
“Yes, Aoyama is completely ordinary, unlike us, and he lacks the ability to sense supernatural phenomena, yet he has never been harmed by them or in any danger.”
“Why…”
“I suppose it’s because Aoyama has a much stronger will than most people.”
“A strong will, that Aoyama has a strong will?”
Even though Aoyama himself admitted to being frightened of those things.
“He’s like that on the surface. He does, though, have a desire that he genuinely seeks to fulfill.”
“That is…?”
“Aoyama has a reason for being there, and it’s to attain his own dream. Strong thoughts, wishes, desires, resolve, perseverance, and one’s own ideals that nobody could ever interfere with. Those who bear these things strongly in their hearts are the ones who are less susceptible to the unpredictable and repel negative energies. It means that there is no room for intrusion. The malevolent and vengeful spirits that congregate at the convenience shop avoid Aoyama despite the fact that he has no power because of his strong will.”
“Amazing, then Aoyama is invincible, isn’t he!?”
“In a sense…”
“Wow.”
Having a strong desire that lightly surpassed the resentment of the spirits in that space… what exactly was that person? Certainly, even specters wouldn’t consider approaching a person who was thinking only of changing his gender in his mind… On the contrary, they might be eaten.
“When I think about it, I’m in a group of extremely tough people.”
“Tough people?”
“I mean, isn’t that true? Takenaka, Hirai, and even Aoyama… yet I can’t really do anything,” I muttered, looking at the empty plastic cup. “I… might resign.”
At that point, I was upfront with him. After that incident, I was confronted with a dread that was unmatched by anything I had ever felt before and found myself so overcome with fear that I couldn’t endure it anymore. All the bizarre phenomena that had been hovering around me until now, when I reflected on the fact that they were all manifestations of the voices of the departed, it sent shivers down my spine and induced a feeling of nausea.
Since I had never believed in such things before, once the realization that they were present dawned on me, disorientation reigned, and I wanted to reject the memory like a child who had trouble absorbing it. No amount of rejection could alter what had actually occurred, though. Even though specters existed, I wasn’t firm enough to just accept it as an “Oh, really?”
The mere thought of what would transpire the next time I went to that convenience store was chilling, and I even wanted to abandon my job as a convenience store staff… right now if I had to experience something more realistic than a horror movie like that.
Wasn’t it pathetic? Despite me being boastful in the beginning. Specters? Whoever said they could see specters were spouting a load of crap. Now the guy who made such remarks was extremely frightened by the existence he assumed to be a figment of his imagination.
I couldn’t complain if anyone mocked me.
When I said this to him in a self-mocking tone, Takenaka said as if admonishing me, “No, that’s not true. You don’t have to be so hard on yourself, Hakamada.”
As I mentioned initially, some people believe in specters and spirits, but the majority do not, and unless an actual encounter takes place, convincing oneself of their existence is impossible.
Even when somebody claims the existence of a specter, you cannot see it, so disbelief is more common than believing it.
If you did exactly what I said, I would not have uttered any such words and you would be the same as those who have left so far, so don’t worry about it.
That was what Takenaka said.
Even so, I struggled to make a definite choice, in part because I felt selfish for quitting so easily even though I was terrified. By quitting now, I might be able to forget about the incident before too long. Even the trauma would still be on the shallow side.
The night shift employees would likely be inconvenienced, and the manager would probably scowl at me. Nonetheless, replacing new employees was not unusual, and it may be an everyday occurrence for those people, so when one of them resigned, they would just say, “Oh, that person didn’t last long after all,” and more fools like me would be recruited…
Furthermore, assuming that I quit here, I would be an insensitive person and even if I resolutely persisted, would I ask Takenaka to save me once again if I had to endure that ordeal again?
I absolutely didn’t want that. I didn’t want to be a burden no matter what.
Even if Takenaka had a powerful bodyguard, I couldn’t stomach the thought of making money and being rescued each time I worked a night shift.
I didn’t mean to push him away.
Takenaka said to me again then, “Hakamada, did you see any strange things… after that?”
“Strange things?”
“For instance… a woman in tattered clothes peeking out of a windowpane or a man with an unnaturally broken neck who looked listless…”
Hearing this, I was startled. Takenaka’s expression became stern as if to say, “I knew it.”
“No way, the man you just mentioned is…”
Perhaps Takenaka was being considerate as he did not give me a detailed explanation.
“You have already been affected by that place. There are instances where you will spontaneously awaken your ability even if you didn’t have it at first if you spend a lot of time in a powerful spiritual magnetic field.”
That…
Did that mean I would be able to see specters like Takenaka or that I would be able to witness various grotesque things like that?
“Don’t worry, right now you probably only see them once in a while. But if your spiritual power is fully awakened, not only will you be able to see them normally, but if you lack the art of resistance, the spirits will take advantage of that and approach you…”
No way. Ugh, you must be joking…
“The only solution is to distance yourself from the spiritual field immediately. As long as you don’t get close to it, the power will disappear on its own, or it may remain somewhat but it shouldn’t get any stronger than that.”
“…”
“What do you want to do… Hakamada.”
A small rasp sounded in the back of my throat. I couldn’t really feel that I would be able to see such things.
But it must be true. After all, I was actually able to see what Takenaka was talking about.
“I will… think about this a bit.”
Takenaka finished his coffee.
Shortly after announcing this in a low voice, I parted from Takenaka. Perhaps sensing that my head was overloaded, Takenaka bowed quietly and disappeared into the crowd at the station without another word.
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