3 years ago

In Harry Potter as Neville Longbottom by ayrus2011

Our character was born Neville Longbottom in Harry Potter. His courage, his wisdom and his skills... Read more
Our character was born Neville Longbottom in Harry Potter. His courage, his wisdom and his skills help him defeat Lord Voldemort and change the entire saga of Harry Potter. He is Neville the brave lion! Collapse
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  • Total views: 59 790
  • Comments: 11
  • Total comments: 6

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Comments 11

  1. Offline
    + 00 -
    There is nothing worse than a story that isn’t finished.

    While all the other comments bring up good points, there are still some good story ideas in this:

    1. How the MC got Dumbledore in trouble by the reveals to the Daily Prophet.

    2. The reveal of Voldemort alive in the first year.

    3. The possibility of deeper conspiracies and evils in the world.

    4. The disappointment of side characters in Dumbledore when his schemes fail and some of his faults are revealed.

    5. Actually using the Hogwart’s ghosts for something useful.

    6. Interesting new concept of magic using an old idea.
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  2. Offline
    + 10 -
    The cover makes me hate it even tho I love Harry Potter fanfictions
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  3. Offline
    + 00 -
    I like antihero mc but this one is just...whats the word, edgy. Also author seems to based his book on other fanfic instead of cannon so the plot sounds very naive for people familar with the stroy, a few examples:





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  4. Offline
    New Image
    + 10 -
    The cover isn't very interesting, the story is very... how do say this...uhm naive. And the main character is very stupid and emotional,
    [Spoiler]
    When he was just born, he was instantly attached to his new parents? Come on, their should some feeling of alienation and he is very stupid. I mean promising to torture Bellatrix? The one who tortured his parents?
    Is suicidal, and beating up Draco Malfoy is a very naive choice. The mc didn't even consider Malfoy's father retaliating.
    I stopped reading at this part, since I can't stomach this very cringy, and stupid part.
    What I want to say to the author is you should consider rewriting the entire story.
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  5. Offline
    + 04 -
    After seeing that cover i don't wanna even try it
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    1. Offline
      + 11 -
      Why? It looks jolly.
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  6. Offline
    + 41 -
    I don't understand why pick someone who was already in the story? If your going to write a story in the world of an already existed franchise do an OC. This story was not good to read.
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    1. Offline
      + 00 -
      Exactly
      But there are so few OC HP fanfiction even on
      fanfiction . net
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  7. Offline
    + 31 -
    This guy really really hates Harry and Ron for some reason and you can tell in the writing. It's super immature. The worst authors are the ones who can't keep there bias in check and not write the world to bash others excessively.
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  8. Offline
    + 51 -
    The Worse cover pic I have seen..... pressure
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  9. Offline
    + 00 -
    Why add something that was last updated a month ago?
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