Chapter 3: There's Something Wrong with Your Toilet!
Led by Guan Hai, Yang Haoran arrived at his friend's house, where his friend had long been waiting. He had originally gone to work, but after receiving Guan Hai's call, he immediately requested leave and rushed back without delay.
His friend, surnamed Liu, was plump and portly, with a bald head. On either side, a few unruly strands of hair stubbornly remained. Yet, this Brother Liu had somehow managed to grow them incredibly long, forcing them into a styled arrangement, hoping to cover his bald spot. Alas, it was all in vain—pure self-deception. In such a sorry state, he might as well have just shaved his head completely bald.
Perhaps Brother Liu held a unique sentimentality for his hair due to his baldness, which explained why he insisted on maintaining it in such a way rather than shaving it all off. After all, what one cannot obtain always stirs desire; the more unattainable, the stronger the yearning. Many people suffer from this peculiar affliction.
After a brief conversation, Yang Haoran gained a certain understanding of this Mr. Liu. He was thirty-one this year, only a year older than Yang Haoran, but he looked more than ten years older. This was likely due to frequent late nights combined with excessive stress, which made him appear quite aged.
In truth, these details had nothing to do with the purpose of their visit today, yet Yang Haoran still inquired extensively. There was, naturally, a reason for his thoroughness.
Following their discussion, Yang Haoran began to stroll through Mr. Liu’s house, hands clasped behind his back, swaying with an exaggerated "eight-step" gait like a seasoned expert, inspecting every room in the entire residence.
Guan Hai and Mr. Liu trailed behind Yang Haoran. Yang Haoran remained silent, simply walking and observing. Guan Hai, in contrast, constantly praised Mr. Liu's apartment, commending its excellent layout and superb decoration. His words, both overt and subtle, implied that Mr. Liu had made a sound investment.
People, of course, almost universally enjoy hearing compliments, and Mr. Liu was no saint, so he was no exception. Under Guan Hai’s barrage of praise, he beamed with pleasure, praising Guan Hai in return for being so discerning and insightful at such a young age, for his incisive judgment, and for the undeniable truth in every word he spoke.
Yang Haoran listened to the two of them praising each other behind him, his expression unreadable, but inwardly, he held them both in utter contempt.
To be honest, after circling Mr. Liu’s apartment, Yang Haoran didn't feel any inexplicable chill. From that perspective, the apartment was relatively clean.
However, now was not the time to tell Mr. Liu that. He had finally landed a client, and if he didn't reap some benefits, wouldn't his trip today be for nothing? He considered himself a man of professional ethics, and that was simply not his style.
When he returned to the living room, Mr. Liu immediately approached him. He tried to discern something from Yang Haoran’s face, and seeing Yang Haoran's serious, unsmiling expression, he smiled outwardly, but his eyes betrayed a hint of unease.
“Master Yang, what do you think of my place? ” Mr. Liu asked tentatively.
Yang Haoran didn’t respond immediately, instead frowning deeply and maintaining his silence. This reaction caused a premonition of ill fortune to rise in Mr. Liu's heart, and he immediately grew anxious.
“Master Yang, is my house. . . is there something wrong with it? ” Mr. Liu pressed.
Yang Haoran glanced at Guan Hai, then his gaze fell on the anxious Mr. Liu. He stopped his silence and finally spoke.
“Mr. Liu, since you are Guan Hai’s friend and a year my elder, I shall address you as Liu Ge,” Yang Haoran said, answering with a non-sequitur, his tone solemn.
Mr. Liu was inwardly frantic. He wanted to know if there was a problem with his house, not to hear such superfluous remarks from Yang Haoran. However, Mr. Liu hadn’t lived for thirty-one years for nothing. Though he felt Yang Haoran’s words were useless, he dared not say it aloud, instead repeatedly declining.
“Oh no, that’s quite improper! Master Yang, you are an expert; you are my elder brother. I couldn’t possibly accept you calling me Liu Ge! ”
Yang Haoran waved a hand, exuding the demeanor of a true master, and continued, “It’s just a form of address, Liu Ge, no need to dwell on it. Let’s talk about your house. ”
Mr. Liu was about to object again, but upon hearing Yang Haoran mention the house, he immediately dropped the subject of titles and hastily asked, “What exactly is wrong with my new home? ”
Yang Haoran pointed to the toilet and said to Mr. Liu, “Liu Ge, look, is there anything wrong with the toilet in your house? ”
Hearing this, Mr. Liu quickly walked towards the toilet and inspected it carefully, but seemed unable to find anything amiss, unsure what the problem was. Nevertheless, he tentatively asked Yang Haoran, “Is it because I installed a squat toilet and need to install a commode instead? ”
Mr. Liu’s question almost made Yang Haoran burst into laughter. Fortunately, he possessed great self-control; not only did he not laugh, but his expression remained serious. It was Guan Hai behind him who grinned, revealing a mouthful of white teeth.
Under Mr. Liu’s watchful gaze, Yang Haoran shook his head. Feigning profound wisdom, he took a few steps towards the door, then pointed at it, sighing softly as he explained, “Ah, Liu Ge, your toilet faces the main door. This is not good at all; it’s a feng shui taboo. ”
Mr. Liu’s heart sank. The words "feng shui taboo" sounded ominous. His face was filled with anxiety, and he wanted to say something to Yang Haoran, but Yang Haoran stopped him with a wave of his hand.
From his expression, Yang Haoran could tell that Liu Ge probably had no idea what he was talking about. So, he continued to explain, “The toilet is where waste is expelled, a place of extremely heavy Yin Qi and concentrated unlucky energy. When the main door faces the toilet, it will affect the luck and health of everyone living in this residence. If you don’t mind me asking, Liu Ge, are you and your family’s work going smoothly, and is everyone in good health recently? ”
Mr. Liu answered without thinking, “Everything’s great! My luck has been quite good, and my family members are all fine. ”
Yang Haoran’s lips twitched almost imperceptibly, then quickly returned to normal. The reason he had asked Mr. Liu that question was, in fact, all a setup.
Earlier, he had conversed with Mr. Liu and learned a bit about his situation, knowing that Mr. Liu’s parents were still alive. Since Mr. Liu was thirty-one, his parents were likely in their fifties, perhaps even older. At that age, it was perfectly normal to have some health issues.
Furthermore, a person's luck was an even more elusive concept; no one's luck could stay good forever, there would always be some problems. Even if Mr. Liu's luck had been fine recently, what about his family? It was impossible for all of them to have perfect luck, right?
That’s what Yang Haoran thought. His questions to Mr. Liu were merely digging a pit for the other party to jump into. However, he hadn't expected Mr. Liu’s answer to be a resounding slap to his face—a searing, painful blow.
Nevertheless, Yang Haoran was not a pushover. Since he dared to make a living in this trade, he certainly wasn't without some real skills. If he couldn't even resolve such a minor issue, he might as well quit this line of work; changing professions sooner might still be an option.
He remained composed, his face impassive. After hearing Mr. Liu’s reply, he nodded and then spoke earnestly, “It seems the situation isn’t as bad as I initially thought. You should count yourself lucky that you’ve only recently moved in, so it hasn't affected you and your family yet. That’s a good thing. However, if this matter isn't addressed, it’s hard to say what the future holds. ”
“Then how should it be addressed? ” Mr. Liu hastily asked.
“Well, it’s not a troublesome matter to deal with. It just requires a few items, and then. . . ” Yang Haoran pondered, intentionally slowing his speech.
Mr. Liu immediately understood the implication. With a fawning smile, he pulled a red envelope from his jacket pocket and gleefully tucked it into Yang Haoran's shoulder bag.
Yang Haoran subtly furrowed his brow, yet inwardly he was delighted. He showed no trace of a smile on his face, even deliberately blocking it with his hand a few times, exclaiming, “What are you doing? This is improper! ” and other words of refusal. However, the hand supposedly obstructing the red envelope applied no real force, and in the end, the red envelope was "forcibly" slipped into Yang Haoran’s shoulder bag by Mr. Liu.
Receiving red envelopes was always the most critical moment. If he were to reveal the joy in his heart at such a time, the image of an expert he had carefully cultivated would be utterly ruined.
Seeing Yang Haoran “strenuously” resisting, Mr. Liu immediately wondered if his red envelope was too small. But then, on second thought, that couldn’t be right. Yang Haoran hadn't even glanced at the red envelope the entire time he was refusing it, nor had he touched it during their physical interaction. Logically, in such circumstances, Yang Haoran couldn't possibly know how much money was inside, so how could he possibly dislike his red envelope for being too small?
Just as Mr. Liu was feeling puzzled and a little awkward, Guan Hai, who was standing beside him, spoke up.
“Brother Yang, you know Liu Ge is my friend. Even though we’ve only known each other for two days, Liu Ge is very much to my liking. We’re all men of character, so stop being so wishy-washy and just be straightforward. ”
Guan Hai’s words were quite skillful, alleviating Mr. Liu’s embarrassment while also subtly emphasizing to Yang Haoran that this Mr. Liu was merely a friend he'd known for two days. He was indicating that Yang Haoran should do as he pleased and not feel constrained because Guan Hai was in the middle; as long as it wasn't too excessive, everyone would be fine.
Yang Haoran naturally understood Guan Hai’s meaning and knew that Guan Hai had spoken up to ease Mr. Liu's discomfort. However, Yang Haoran was confident in his own abilities. Even if Guan Hai hadn't spoken, he would have found a way to perfectly carry out the act, ensuring Mr. Liu wouldn't feel awkward and he wouldn't lose his expert demeanor.
As for Mr. Liu, seeing Guan Hai speak up so directly at that moment, he couldn’t help but feel touched, believing he had made a truly good friend. He immediately cast a grateful look at Guan Hai and thumped his own chest with a fist, saying emotionally, “My good brother, I truly didn’t misjudge you. From now on, whatever you need, just say the word. . . ”
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